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don't even talk to those boys, you godly girls


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ah, the 16 year old daughter of the lovely Joanne at NARROW IS THE WAY tells us that as godly girls, we should not even TALK to boys.

it leads to all sorts of ungodly things, people!

oy. i know i'm preaching to the choir (heh @ appropriate metaphor), and i know it's said 100x a day around here, but i just cannot understand how these people function. at all.

fewtherebethatfindit.blogspot.com/2011/12/girlboy-relationships-purity.html

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Wow. Uh. I'm so glad I didn't grow up like that, because, uh, that would have drastically cut down the amount of friends I had.

I just don't understand this mentality. I'd say about 65% of my friends are male- why would you want to rule out half of the world as potential friends? And trust me- having male friends doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. You might get up to all sorts of "ungodly" shenanigans, but that doesn't necessarily mean a sexual relationship! We did all kinds of dumbass stuff, but none of it was ever sexual. My god, fundies think about sex more than the average porn star.

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This is so going to be the next level of one-upmanship in the courting game. "Our daughter didn't even speak to her husband until her wedding day! Her very first words to her husband were 'I do'. It was such a precious and holy thing to witness!"

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Good, I'm going to quit talking to boys too. So when my sons come home from school demanding food, rides and what have you I'm going to tell them that I am a godly girl and can't talk to them. :roll:

Real life doesn't work that way and if she thinks that she can quit talking to half the world's population then good luck to her.

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Wow! That lady is a treasure trove of WTHeck!

A little more than halfway down at

fewtherebethatfindit.blogspot.com/search/label/Biblical%20Headcovering

she quotes early church writers admonishing women to be covered, covered, covered. I mean to say, it gives me insight into how truly bad the Roman and other ways of the time must have been for women, for them to consider Christianity as deliverance, when those kinds of limits and requirements were put on women ... and not, AFAIK, men.

Perhaps a woman uncovered was considered fair game for rape and/or death, and the church was just trying to safeguard 'em. Maybe it was just the Mediterranean / Near Eastern / Northern African mindset. Whatever it was -- uff da! I'm so glad to be living as a Christian liberal in 2011 Hew Hess Hay!

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This is so going to be the next level of one-upmanship in the courting game. "Our daughter didn't even speak to her husband until her wedding day! Her very first words to her husband were 'I do'. It was such a precious and holy thing to witness!"

Next thing you know girls won't even be saying I Do since of course, one of the male guests might get turned on by her voice.

Seriously, how the heck are you supposed to get to know someone to marry if you can't talk to them? How can you function without speaking to half of the population? I mean, do they just not go to the grocery store or the drycleaners or anytihng because they might need to speak to a man?

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This is so going to be the next level of one-upmanship in the courting game. "Our daughter didn't even speak to her husband until her wedding day! Her very first words to her husband were 'I do'. It was such a precious and holy thing to witness!"

I think this is spot-on. Next thing you know, it will be like the fundamentalist weddings in the middle east, where the women are in a whole different building and the marriage takes place by proxy.

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You don’t need to learn how to talk to boys and relate with them, you need to learn how to relate to and serve your dad (how to be submissive to him). For those of you without a dad at home, learn to be submissive to your mom and to Christ. A big brother and/or a mature brother or elder in the church could be helpful in this area too. Also, if you do get married, it will only be to one man, not several teen boys; when and if the time comes to marry, he is the only man you will need to know how relate to.
But, if you're speaking to a man in your church you're not related to, isn't that talking to a man? I guess maybe the difference is you need to select someone who is already married, so it won't be like speaking to an unmarried man, who might think you're flirting? And I guess you can only pray that your dad and your husband will have the same interests and conversational style, or all that practicing with your dad will be for naught. Maybe that's part of the courtship interrogation?

This poor girl...what a miserable life... :cry:

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Whoa.... I followed some links on her blog to a post on modesty and oh man it's so bad. earlychurchtruth.com/modestyarticle.html

Here is my vision:

She is properly covered with nothing showing that does not need to be shown. Her clothing is loose so as to not attract attention to her shape or form. There is enough fabric in her skirt or dress so she can walk naturally; it is not so tight that it needs a slit and shows the shape of her backside. She does not wear pants because those are clearly for men, and why would she want to wear men's clothing? Besides that, pants show too much of her shape - especially the shape of her backside. Her skirt or dress is long enough so she can bend over to pick something up [ideally though she would stoop down instead of bend over], sit down without her legs showing, or reach up without her mid-section showing. If there is a chance of a small part of her leg showing, she should have on socks so her naked skin is not exposed. A little 'peak' of naked skin could cause a man to stumble - she knows she must be very careful. Her clothing is plain and simple - worn for utilitarian reasons rather than for fashion or show. The pattern is not flashy and the color is not bold so as to attract attention. She does not wear jewelry or make-up ... she realizes that these things serve NO PURPOSE other than vanity and to attract attention, which is clearly unpleasing to the Lord.[...] Her head is covered well with a flowing veil. She does not try to leave some of her hair out in the front so she can style it a little bit - this too is vanity. She wears the veil as a sign of submission to her husband; if she is not married, she wears the veil as a sign of submission to the Lord. [...] Her movements are subtle and her voice is quiet and calm so as not to attract attention. She speaks gently to those around her; she does not raise her voice, get frustrated, or any other such thing.[....] She does not try to lead the family or the church, nor teach or usurp authority over the man; she is a helper in every way that is pleasing to the Lord, her husband, and others to whom she ministers to.

SO. MUCH. FAIL.

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Guest Anonymous
Whoa.... I followed some links on her blog to a post on modesty and oh man it's so bad. earlychurchtruth.com/modestyarticle.html

SO. MUCH. FAIL.

That's whack-a-doodle Joanna's husband's blog. They think if you've been divorced and remarried for any reason that you are going to hell unless you repent and leave your new spouse. They're horribly hateful to just about everybody and they think they are the only ones doing it right.

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I know it has been said like a million times but this is the type of stuff that messes people up! It just makes it so you feel shame about every little thing you do/think whether it is actually wrong. News flash: sometimes you are attracted to people without even talking to them. These things are normal and happen in life. If you believe in not having premarital sex then you just learn to deal. Ever heard the phrase "you may not be able to control your feelings but you can control your actions"

Oh yeah and I hope they made an exception for male family members.

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Wow. Uh. I'm so glad I didn't grow up like that, because, uh, that would have drastically cut down the amount of friends I had.

I just don't understand this mentality. I'd say about 65% of my friends are male- why would you want to rule out half of the world as potential friends? And trust me- having male friends doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. You might get up to all sorts of "ungodly" shenanigans, but that doesn't necessarily mean a sexual relationship! We did all kinds of dumbass stuff, but none of it was ever sexual. My god, fundies think about sex more than the average porn star.

QFT, especially the last line. Why can fundies not negotiate relationships like normal people?

Nearly all my closer friends are male. We aren't staring fixedly and lustfully at each other constantly (or, indeed, at all.) The idea that all men are crazy rapists or want to be belongs in hentai, not in normal humanity.

Also most people who feel, er, urges can separate "wild 2am fantasy" from "normal, everyday behaviour towards someone I like and respect." So if fundie guys and girls are truly all part of the body of Christ why can't they do that?

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Ugh. This isn't even Biblical! The Bible has some very outspoken women in it who are greatly admired by religious folk (Ruth and Esther come to mind).

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Ummm im just going to say growing up like this can really mess up any future social life. I am a college freshman now and my family has recently become more fundi lite but honestly this is one of the things that has stuck. And it sucks. There are so many boys here and interacting with them seems to be a given to most people. I have no idea what to do and half the time the flirting subtext never makes sense. I swear if i ever get married and have kids i am not going to raise them this way. However since i sound like an idot whenever i try to talk to guys i probably won't be gettng married anytime soon. I mean iv read cosmo girl n stuff but its hard to talk to people who u we brought up to think of as near occasions of sin :(

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AD, isn't that...a description of a nun? *scared*

You should be scared, that's far closer to the description of a fundamentalist muslim than anything else.

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This reminds me of the girl a few days ago who didn't even kiss her husband at their wedding.

But this is Joanne, and according to her own testimony she's screwed around a bit. :naughty:

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Ummm im just going to say growing up like this can really mess up any future social life. I am a college freshman now and my family has recently become more fundi lite but honestly this is one of the things that has stuck. And it sucks. There are so many boys here and interacting with them seems to be a given to most people. I have no idea what to do and half the time the flirting subtext never makes sense. I swear if i ever get married and have kids i am not going to raise them this way. However since i sound like an idot whenever i try to talk to guys i probably won't be gettng married anytime soon. I mean iv read cosmo girl n stuff but its hard to talk to people who u we brought up to think of as near occasions of sin :(

I wasn't raised fundie but I can relate to this. The purity thing was emphasized a lot. I don't blame the church though, but I wonder where some of the ideas I have come from. Most people from the church I grew up in seem okay lol and my parents were normal about that stuff.

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You should be scared, that's far closer to the description of a fundamentalist muslim than anything else.

I encounter a lot of Muslim women (mostly East African immigrants) in my area, many of them wearing hijab. A few months ago, I saw a woman in niqab (everything but the eyes and hands covered) in Costco. And that's exactly what came to mind as I read this article.

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Also, can I say that I am super defrauded by a man in Wranglers. Won't someone please think of my poor soul?

+1!

Your soul and my soul will be burning together in the fiery depths, apparently.

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You should be scared, that's far closer to the description of a fundamentalist muslim than anything else.

I really sounds like A Handmaids Tale

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