C Jane - unassisted homebirth - thoughts?

[treemom]

Well I was concerned before Turkey day that C Jane was 43 weeks preggo and we had a good discussion about it. She had the baby the night before/morning of Thanksgiving and published her birth story blog.cjanerun.com

So it was as unassisted homebirth. Reads very poetic and love love love my husband and romantic and sweet and apparently she was hosting guests and she got up the next day and her family and guests had a full dinner a la Anthropologie ad.

Really?

What is it with LDS women and the need to put on a show of perfect marriage/perfect life/perfect birth?

The scary thing to me is after reading it that women who look up to LDS mommy bloggers like C Jane wil think that it is "easy" to just quietly birth a baby at home alone.

What do my FJ peeps think aobut this?

Well shit, ignore all my prior comments about this not being like Carrie. This is terrible.

[treemom]

I am totally opposed to unassisted home birth.

[Arielkay]

I have a friend who's obsessed with the natural movement. She had a birth plan, and everything was going to go just so. As if you have that much control after you get pregnant. Plans are great, but babies are going to do what they want to do. I agree with the other poster who said it's about the baby now, not you. She was so obsessed with her birth fantasy it was like she didn't give a damn if the baby was okay or not. Her first baby was delivered by C-section because the baby went into distress. She still hates the doctor for it because she blames medical intervention on having to have the Csection. Never mind that she or the baby might have died if they hadn't intervened.

With the next one she was determined to have a home birth. She didn't have insurance, and few people were willing to try a home VBAC. She found some naturopath who said she'd do it. Besides it being a VBAC, she was 2 weeks overdue, so the baby was huge. She labored for over 3 days and got nowhere - it turned out the baby's arm was over his head and they couldn't wedge him. Also he was just too big for her. So after all that pain and suffering, not to mention 2 added weeks of pregnancy (she refused induction), she ended up having to have another C-section in the hospital. I'm just thankful her naturopath had the sense to take her to the hospital. But all the trauma she could have been saved . . .

I had both kids in the hospital. Two days of rest with nurses, and someone else to clean up. With the second, I had to do almost all labor without any pain relief at all because my doctor wouldn't show up to okay it for the longest time. I had back labor - it was horrible. By the time I got an epidural, it was really too late to stop the pain. I can't believe people willingly refuse pain relief in or out of the hospital. I mean, to each his own, but crap - I would have killed for pain relief.

[Beeks]

I had both kids in the hospital. Two days of rest with nurses, and someone else to clean up. With the second, I had to do almost all labor without any pain relief at all because my doctor wouldn't show up to okay it for the longest time. I had back labor - it was horrible. By the time I got an epidural, it was really too late to stop the pain. I can't believe people willingly refuse pain relief in or out of the hospital. I mean, to each his own, but crap - I would have killed for pain relief.

I think it's because all women have different amounts of and tolerance for pain. I had an epidural with my first and a drug-free with my second. My second baby was 9#4 and I also had back labor. It was no walk in the park, but there was no point where I would have preferred the epidural to what I was feeling. I'm glad there are options for everyone though, and even for me if I decide to have a third. Even though I had my second out of the hospital I have a strong gut feeling that if I were to have a third, I'd have to have him/her in the hospital.

[Jessica]

I would've ended up with a c-section if I had gone the hospital route. I'm not just saying that to parrot what other natural birth activists say, but I pushed for quite a while on my back and Jude just didn't want to come out. Then the midwives threatened me with going to the hospital to get a c-section (due to his heart rate dropping), I thought to myself "Oh haaayl no!", told them "I want to try pushing on my knees first", then not even 2 minutes after I got on my knees he was born. If my legs had been like jello from the drugs, I wouldn't have been able to get on my knees and bear down.

[liltwinstar]

1. Who hosts a party and houseguests while in labor? That's insane.

2. Not all pregnancies/deliveries are the same, right? So to say "xyz happened with my first labor so that's what's going to happen with this labor"- No. Things can be different.

3. Why does she have to make it sound so sexual??? "I wanted him--who loves and trusts my body--to help me through the birthing process...with every contraction I'd kiss Chup and tell him how much I loved him" etc etc...why??? Birth isn't sexytime .

4. She felt herself passing out, but that's ok becuase "Part of me had resolved that death is part of birthing life" What????? Prety sure that passing out during labor = bad sign.

(can you tell I don't like the idea of unassisted homebirth???)

[emmiedahl]

I would've ended up with a c-section if I had gone the hospital route. I'm not just saying that to parrot what other natural birth activists say, but I pushed for quite a while on my back and Jude just didn't want to come out. Then the midwives threatened me with going to the hospital to get a c-section (due to his heart rate dropping), I thought to myself "Oh haaayl no!", told them "I want to try pushing on my knees first", then not even 2 minutes after I got on my knees he was born. If my legs had been like jello from the drugs, I wouldn't have been able to get on my knees and bear down.

No one forces you to get an epidural or drugs. In fact, with my first I was begging for them and still they would not give them to me. And I pushed for hours with two of mine and the doctors encouraged me to get in different positions to do so.

Contrary to popular homebirth belief, hospitals are very eager to get that baby out of you with only the most necessary interventions. I have a niece with permanent eye damage as a result of home birth.

[Jessica]

I didn't say that they would've forced drugs on me. I'm saying I wouldn't have been able to get on my knees to push if I had been on drugs. Someone asked what the appeal was of unmedicated birth. The c-section comment wasn't directly related to the epidural comment, sorry it wasn't phrased better. :oops: Even my midwives were saying they were going to take me in to get a c-section if I didn't push him out "Right NOW!" because his heart rate was getting too low.

[emmiedahl]

Oh, sorry, I read that if you had been in the hospital it would have ended in c-section because you would have been on drugs. I missed the context of the drug thing.

[desertvixen]

Who hosts a party and houseguests while in labor? That's insane.

Not just that, who agrees to GO?

RE: hospitals and back labor, etc - Every situation works out differently. I ended up going without an epidural because the lab took quite a bit of time to do the bloodwork to see if I could have one...and I had a short labor. Or as the OB who delivered me said, "Bad news is, no epidural. Good news is, you're having the baby now." A lot of them will definitely let you shift positions, etc, although my doctor didn't want me to stay in the on-my-knees position for TOO long (but the relief from back labor was nice). Our hospital staff was excellent, but I've heard some less rosy ones from people in the same hospital, so mileage may vary.

[Jessica]

Oh, sorry, I read that if you had been in the hospital it would have ended in c-section because you would have been on drugs. I missed the context of the drug thing.

No worries! My brain had it all neatly laid out but it doesn't always get typed that way. ;)

[Witsec7]

1. Who hosts a party and houseguests while in labor? That's insane.

This crunchy old hippy had a couple of lasagnas in the freezer, to feed folks who might be visiting us at home after the spawn was birthed. :lol:

As to hospitals accommodating home birthers, mine was great, the Nurse Midwife and the OB let me push all the way into surgery. The fireworks started when my DDs father wanted Stevie Winwood on the CD, the surgeon said it was Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler' or Bob could wait outside :lol: (To this day the grown hippy girl loves Kenny Rogers, go figure. )

[Beeks]

Not just that, who agrees to GO?

RE: hospitals and back labor, etc - Every situation works out differently. I ended up going without an epidural because the lab took quite a bit of time to do the bloodwork to see if I could have one...and I had a short labor. Or as the OB who delivered me said, "Bad news is, no epidural. Good news is, you're having the baby now." A lot of them will definitely let you shift positions, etc, although my doctor didn't want me to stay in the on-my-knees position for TOO long (but the relief from back labor was nice). Our hospital staff was excellent, but I've heard some less rosy ones from people in the same hospital, so mileage may vary.

That's what I found incredibly odd as well. Almost her entire family is local - how hard would it have been to just set the party up at somebody else's house? Ditto with the house guests. I would NEVER stay with a woman who was weeks overdue and planning a home birth. That is just insane.

[emmiedahl]

The fireworks started when my DDs father wanted Stevie Winwood on the CD, the surgeon said it was Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler' or Bob could wait outside :lol: (To this day the grown hippy girl loves Kenny Rogers, go figure. )

:lol: That was my Grandpa's favorite song, so I know all the words--that and Islands in the Stream.

It just seems like a funny thing to play in labor, "know when to walk away, know when to run". Thanks, that mental picture made my day for some reason.

[onlyorganic]

Wow- at least she owes up that she had second thoughts about posting because it might glamorize the whole "unassisted homebirth" thing. All of ones' beliefs aside, it reads as a bit selfish that she wanted only her hubs to be there as the ultimate romantic gesture... kind of using the birth as a "THIS is how much we love each other moment" with not-so-much-concern for what could have happened. I don't know her though- so who am I to judge? That being said, there are always things that can go wrong during childbirth. It would make sense for a midwife to be around to help out. In some ways, this goes along with the "nothing bad can happen to me" mentality that I think a lot of fundies have... because "nothing bad" can happen with God is in control. Although, sometimes... it still does.

[Witsec7]

:lol: That was my Grandpa's favorite song, so I know all the words--that and Islands in the Stream.

It just seems like a funny thing to play in labor, "know when to walk away, know when to run". Thanks, that mental picture made my day for some reason.

Be sure to picture me wearing knee high afghani knitted slippers too, its part of the charm :lol:

[NothingLeftToLose]

OK - I feel so much better that others noticed the strange sexual overtones of the labor experience! I thought I just picked that up because I am a freak, lol

[Cran]

It is actually rumoured that some women have a, well, orgasmitastic birth.

[Witsec7]

It is actually rumoured that some women have a, well, orgasmitastic birth.

Spiritual Midwifery (1st edition) advocated for clitoral massage :?

[Jessica]

Ya beat me to it, Cran!

[Beeks]

My cousin emailed and asked her how she got a midwife to agree to do the pre-natal care and apparently Courtney replied that she doesn't think prenatal care is "necessary."

:shock:

[VeraAnne]

Courtney replied that she doesn't think prenatal care is "necessary."

:x Are you serious?

[antifundie]

I've never had a kid, so I know nothing about this whole process.

BUT, I think it's super weird to be all "with my first and second this happened, so everything will be perfect!" bs. You don't know.

Personally, I'm a giant weenie, and I wish they still did the knock-you-out-and-hand-you-the-baby thing they used to do, but apparently that isn't an option. :)

The other thing I wonder about--this chick posts that "story" (complete with Virgin Mary imagery) and makes people think that in-between cooking a Turkey and mashing the potatoes, you just push a baby out of your hoo-ha. Wouldn't this make mere mortals (aka, people who, you know, have babies in hospitals and/or miss Thanksgiving) feel like crap? I feel like crap just looking at her table, because never in a million years would mine look like that, and I am A. Childless and B. Not 1000 weeks pregnant.

Since she went so long, do you ladies know if she got pre-natal care? Or any check-ups at all? That seems spectacularly stupid to me. I mean, most women who see midwives also have midwife appointments and stuff, right?

[dawn9476]

Giving birth in a hospital with qualified doctors and nurses all around is still a dangerous thing for a woman to do. To do it with no one is just plain stupid, reckless, and irresponsible.

[Mama Mia]

What drives me absolutely nuts about the unassisted home birth bandwagon is that they are completely and totally misrepresenting birth practices through cultures and history.

I am all for homebirths, and limited intervention -- but to give birth with just your untrained husband ( or even worse .. some of them do this completely alone !) .. is just insane.

Across time and history women who have given birth have had assistance from mid-wives. If there were no trained midwives they would have at the very least other women who had some knowledge of childbirth.

When they give the example of early pioneers they are using a ridiculously abnormal population .. families have not traditionally lived miles and miles from their nearest neighbors with no contact.. arrgghhh..

The same with the whole " give birth in a field and went back to work" bullshit. Not true. ONLY women who were forced by extreme circumstances did that, and they had a very, very high death rate. Across almost all cultures women have traditionally had around 6 weeks to recuperate and bond with their child while other women ( or their husbands ) took care of them.

That particular myth drove me crazy because I had to go back to school a week after giving birth to one of my kids, everyone told me how "great" that was .. um no, it sucked.