How much do fundy girls know about the mechanics of sex?

[browncoatslytherin]

Do you suppose the main dish is Polish sausage? Italian sausage? Bananas? Pickles? Cucumbers???

or that special passion fruit from the loldoug thread? *snicker*

[snarkbillie]

Snarkbillie, I am so sorry for the abuse that you suffered.

It's taken a lot of counseling for me to get to the point where I realize that NOTHING I did could have caused it to happen. I'm so lucky that my husband realized what had happened to me as a child and encouraged me to pursue counseling even though I thought I was mostly over it. I can't emphasize enough that if something like this has happened to someone it's still okay to go to counseling as an adult about it and it can be very beneficial.

[rumput_duri]

In my own somewhat-fundy-lite experience...I have a vague recollection of my mum talking to my older sister & I when we were quite young, saying that men & women's bodies "are made to fit together"...being typical giggly girls, we wondered why men's chests weren't hollowed out, to "fit" women's chests :P In my mid-teens, I managed to find & read Christian marriage manuals to satisfy my further curiosity, ones my mum had, at a church library, etc. And now...well, I'm not exactly naive about the mechanics & what goes where, but I am 100% inexperienced at how it actually works (and I plan to stay that way until I find the man I'm going to marry).

[bananacat]

I wonder though, if big sisters tell their little sisters about it after they get married. Maybe they don't want Jana to get married because then she'll tell the rest how sex works.

[browncoatslytherin]

I wonder though, if big sisters tell their little sisters about it after they get married. Maybe they don't want Jana to get married because then she'll tell the rest how sex works.

that reminds me of the movie "the other boylen girl". after mary gets married, the day after she and anne are talking about it.

[xDreamerx]

that reminds me of the movie "the other boylen girl". after mary gets married, the day after she and anne are talking about it.

*Resists the urge to rant about that movie*.

[browncoatslytherin]

*Resists the urge to rant about that movie*.

oh i hated it, too. i only watched it because i was over at a friend's house and he [and his family] were watching it, and there wasn't really much i could do...the rape scene was just so unnecessary, imo.

and i normally LOVE natalie portman and scarlett johanson [however the hell you spell her name, every time i attempt to spell it, it looks wrong!] but this movie? no thank you.

[Lady Elaine]

I just can't believe that these young men need to be told what sex is or how to do it days before their wedding. Come on. They're guys, with penises - you know, they have probably thought some things out by that point. They would have to be incredibly dense to have not figured it out. Really, do you think Cleve's dad gave him the talk the other day and that's the first he'd ever heard of it?

[Eliowy]

Personally i know that none of the girls in my group did. I mean sleep overs the biggest thing hen we were 16 was gossiping about clare holding hands with jim :P. So so sad. Rape was forced sex but we did't really know what sex was so it didn't help. Then one girl got married at 17 and was so distraught she told us and we freaked. It sounded so so so gross and we had no idea why anyone would ever want to do that. After i got out i learned so much and it started making sense. I suppose part of the reason we never were told was to prevent us from trying it. It only made stuff scary. I got my period and had no idea what the heck was happening. I thought i was gonna die. My mom flipped out and told me i had to start acting more like a woman (i was 12) and that i could now get pregnant if i even thought about a boy :oops: . Yep traumatized

[keeperrox]

(abuse that I thought was just "hurting me" suddenly was understood to be rape, etc. I had nobody to talk to about this though as I was convinced the whole thing was my fault.)

Oh my. I'm so sorry you went through this. If that isn't an argument for comprehensive sex ed, I don't know what is. You need to know what is happening with and to your body.

[fundiefan]

It's taken a lot of counseling for me to get to the point where I realize that NOTHING I did could have caused it to happen. I'm so lucky that my husband realized what had happened to me as a child and encouraged me to pursue counseling even though I thought I was mostly over it. I can't emphasize enough that if something like this has happened to someone it's still okay to go to counseling as an adult about it and it can be very beneficial.

You're pretty amazing. Your husband is too.

[fundiefan]

*Resists the urge to rant about that movie*.

There is a thread in worldly distraction about the worst movie ever. I didn't respond because I had too many for too many different reasons. This, however, is at the top of the list.

Admittedly, I love the book. It's an interesting look into the unknowns of two women who had a hand in history. The movie? Trash.

[moreorlessnu]

Most of those people do homebirths which are attended by their sisters or sisters-in-law.. I think they might imagine some things.

My guess is that the Mortons have a very modest home birth. For Katie's 1st birth, her father was in the room (but at the head of the bed as Mrs. Morton explained). With all those people in the room, my guess is the midwives keep the covers arranged to maintain modesty.

[quiningseven]

It reminds me of the scene in the joy luck club where (I think) Ying-Ying describes her wedding night and all she had been told was that sometimes husbands peed inside their wives in the middle of the night instead of using commode. She thought she knew what to expect as she had changed baby diapers and was shocked when what she saw was not a little baby penis. :P

[StarrieEyedKat]

There is a thread in worldly distraction about the worst movie ever. I didn't respond because I had too many for too many different reasons. This, however, is at the top of the list.

Admittedly, I love the book. It's an interesting look into the unknowns of two women who had a hand in history. The movie? Trash.

Love the book, even though it's not very accurate, but the movie was SUCH a let down.

[applesandbacon]

I had a fundie room mate in college (a secular school, she was studying music) whose parents weren't going to give her the "talk" until the night before her wedding. All she knew was that if a man and a woman "slept" together, the woman might get pregnant. She told me that she fell asleep on the couch with her male dog one day and when she woke up she thought she might be pregnant. She was 16 at the time. :o

I tried to explain some things to her, but she actually plugged her ears! Shortly after, her mother drove up from their house to visit us in our dorm room. I got the sense that she was very displeased with me. :lol:

The foolishness of this astounds me. I know most fundies aren't allowed to go to college, but even so, these girls are going to be alone sometimes and may not even know if they've been molested or raped. From a medical standpoint, parents who take this approach are incredibly negligent.

[Linnea]

Personally i know that none of the girls in my group did. I mean sleep overs the biggest thing hen we were 16 was gossiping about clare holding hands with jim :P. So so sad. Rape was forced sex but we did't really know what sex was so it didn't help. Then one girl got married at 17 and was so distraught she told us and we freaked. It sounded so so so gross and we had no idea why anyone would ever want to do that. After i got out i learned so much and it started making sense. I suppose part of the reason we never were told was to prevent us from trying it. It only made stuff scary. I got my period and had no idea what the heck was happening. I thought i was gonna die. My mom flipped out and told me i had to start acting more like a woman (i was 12) and that i could now get pregnant if i even thought about a boy :oops: . Yep traumatized

If you ask me, this is child abuse. I'm sorry that happened to you.

And hugs to pixydust and snarkbilly, and anyone else who's been abused and didn't have the words to tell about it.

[crazyforkate]

A fundy-lite/fundie borderline girl I knew wasn't even told about periods, and when she got it, she thought she was going to die. I, the liberal Anglican, had to let her know what sex was and describe the various forms of birth control (still have no idea why her parents let her hang out with me). Not telling a little girl about periods/sex/other things is absolutely criminal.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I want to send out big hugs to pixydust and snarkbillie and anyone else that has survived being abused. It isn't easy, I know. Hugs, Peace and real Joy to us all!

[Rachel333]

I find it hard to imagine reaching adulthood without knowing how sex works. I didn't get the sex talk until I was about 14 (hated it; it was just awkwardness for no purpose in my opinion, since they had also given me a Christian sex ed book), but I had known how it worked for years thanks to the S volume of our set of encyclopedias.

[AnnoDomini]

One of my sisters is 9, and I'm pretty sure she's been told nothing about sex (except possibly how babies are made). Should I be worried? If she started her period early, like, now, she'd FREAK OUT. She seems to have emotional problems and is super-easily upset.

[VeraAnne]

AD, I think by 9 she should understand that her body is going to be changing and that she's going to start her period, and she should have a general idea of how reproduction works.

[snarkbillie]

I have a 10 year old and she knows what happens during puberty (hair, curves, boobies, bloating, periods, mood swings, etc.) and how babies are made (sperm and egg) but I'm not entirely sure she knows how the sperm gets to the egg. I'm hoping to get a book and discuss it with her this summer at a mother/daughter weekend or something. She probably has already figured it out, but you know... maybe not? I never had "the talk" so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to tell her or when. I know she's not close to starting her period because I've been watching for the other stuff that happens first and it's not there.

[Rachel333]

I have several sisters around the same age (a little older, actually) and I'm pretty sure they also know absolutely nothing about reproduction and puberty. I started my period kind of late, so I'm sure they've got a while to go yet, too, but I think they're getting too old to know so little.

[Miss M]

I want to send out big hugs to pixydust and snarkbillie and anyone else that has survived being abused. It isn't easy, I know. Hugs, Peace and real Joy to us all!

Sending hugs also!