Bad News for Bathroom Baby

[Witsec7]

I have dear friends who are LDS and the female and I have talked about BC and LDS. She's ok with it 8 kids, but she used BC to space her pregnancies for her own health and the health of her kids.

[Patsy]

DO IT!!!! DO IT DO IT DO IT SO IT DOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I thought it would make her pause and think for even a second, I might consider it. She is just... ugh. I don't have words.

[Witsec7]

I couldn't resist I had to post a comment about her fat laden Thanksgiving meal. No wonder she's not losing weight. She may be eating fresh and organic but slathering the entree and two sides with cheese is probably why her LDLs were so high. Oh and free range turkey is too expensive?? Where the hell does she shop? Sure their not as inexpensive as a butter ball, but for a woman who will buy a camera lens for a half a grand or spend $100 a plate when dining out, or take three trips to Europe in a 10 month period of time, well she's just being silly.

[karupin]

My worry is that TW will consider one session as 'trying enough' and paint the situation as "BB cannot be fixed by any therapist! We tried sooo hard, but all therapists are monsters!"

[ThisOlGirl]

I thought the bad news was going to be that TW isn't running off to BYU. Some have suggested that T1 might actually do better with dad and grandparents for awhile, and I think I agree.

Edited because I don't know the difference between Boise State University and Brigham Young University. Idaho on the brain lately.

[Rosa]

You would think he'd be better off at the grandparents, but these are the folks who raised TW :(

[kunoichi66]

WHAT?

Let me say something....I've been in different types of therapy. I was in them for EIGHT YEARS.

Quick fix, therapy is not.

She needs to grow up.

[contrary]

link?

xyxadfsdfsdlurwere (apparently, i need 10 characters to post)

[tanksmom]

Whether she means that she couldn't fit the therapy into her oh so packed schedule or since there was no definite end she dropped the therapist is disgusting. I don't believe that you need to craft your whole schedule around your children but you should be reasonable. Therapy takes time. One child my only need a few months while another will need a few years.

I truly want to smack her upside the head until she realizes that the longer she waits to start therapy the longer it takes. Maybe she got upset when she found out that she would actually need to work with T1? One or two appointments a week won't magically fix anything.

[fundamentalistnomore]

I've read thatwifeblog before. At first I felt sad for her because she seemed to be a bit depressed. I wondered if she had PPD, combine that with a husband who married her, despite his misgivings about her weight. Now I just think she's a narcissist.

[Feberin]

Whether she means that she couldn't fit the therapy into her oh so packed schedule or since there was no definite end she dropped the therapist is disgusting. I don't believe that you need to craft your whole schedule around your children but you should be reasonable. Therapy takes time. One child my only need a few months while another will need a few years.

I truly want to smack her upside the head until she realizes that the longer she waits to start therapy the longer it takes. Maybe she got upset when she found out that she would actually need to work with T1? One or two appointments a week won't magically fix anything.

Yeah I think she expected the therapist would come in do her magic and T1 would be "fixed". Or at least she would see improvement immeditally. I also think she was baffled by the idea of having to do additional work with T1 between sessions. Also this post from her when she first discussed his delays scares me:

I just can’t stop thinking that if I just tried harder to never be on the computer when he is awake, or if I would follow him around and talk to him incessantly labeling things when we go to the park, or talk to him in a sing-song voice every moment during dinner that therapy wouldn’t be necessary. Then I think he’s just too far gone and I need to just accept I ruined him. Then I think about having the next one and I realize that it’s not going to be possible to do give T2 the attention I irrationally think T1 must have needed to avoid delays. Then I just feel guilty all over again.

Now I'm not a perfect mother and sometimes get on the computer when my son is awake but never for longer then ten minutes and most of the time it's for a task like getting directions or a recipe not just wasting time online. But I don't spend HOURS online while my son plays in a cage. And while I might not incessantly label things when we go to a park or use a sing song voice (I never do that one unless we're singing) but I do talk to him and label things as part of our daily interactions. I also think the fact that she seems to be ready to just "give up" on a child who is still so young is worrisome. And the fact that she doesn't see how it's possible to give the second one the attention she thinks the first needed also worries me. Is she honestly giving up on a child that has not yet been concieved? I really don't think things like not spending a lot of time on the computer, talking to your child and interacting with them are basic mothering skills not some going above and beyond thing. I hope they get a new therapist and she doesn't give up completely on this kid.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

Where is the damn father in all of this? Does he do anything beside locking up the cheese?

[Linnea]

link?

xyxadfsdfsdlurwere (apparently, i need 10 characters to post)

Her blog is thatwifeblog dot com. Her twitter is @ jenna cole.

[Heaps of Eeps]

Via her formspring...

http://4ms.me/tmROvD........

They struggle with the choices T1 makes...wtf.

[tanksmom]

I worked out of my house when my kids were little but I still took time to talk to them. Just because you are working does not mean that you ignore your children. If you don't have them stuck off somewhere it takes half a second to acknowledge that "Yes, you brought me a ball. Thank you!" or ask them to tell you what they are doing.

My kids are in speech therapy and have been for a few years. Every month they get clearer but they will still probably be taking it for awhile. But you know what? That's ok! I know that I am doing what's best for them and will continue to for as long as they need it. It doesn't mean that they are a lost cause that I should just shrug off.

TW your son is not an appliance that should be discarded once you find out it isn't working properly. If he has any delays you can make a difference in his life by working with him now. It's not a quick fix. Therapy takes time & dedication to work. If you have an issue with his therapist find another one ASAP. But don't blame your son or the therapist because you aren't willing to make it work.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm simply incapable of understanding the mentality of TW or AD's parents.

I have a nephew who has shown signs of being on the mild end of the autism spectrum. My sister AND HER HUSBAND were on it, had him evaluated by a professional, husband took off work for a year to spend more him working with him, they've been doing speech therapy and versions of ABA, he's part of a study where they have him on a special diet, and he's made enough progress to be attending a regular kindergarten class now.

They are constantly doing research, talking with other parents and professionals in the field. They also talk to my nephew constantly, encouraging him to ask appropriate questions, stay engaged and use his words. All of this IS working, but it's not effortless and it's not quick.

I get that my sister and BIL have more background knowledge, but still don't understand how anyone wouldn't be naturally concerned about how their child is doing, and want to do whatever they could to see their child thrive. :angry-banghead:

I wonder if TW thought that TI was just a cute living doll as a baby, and subconsciously wanted him to stay that way - a cute, undemanding blob that would stay in one place, and pose for photos without complaint. Normal parents find it fascinating to watch their babies emerge as toddlers, walking and talking and having actual personalities, but everything in TW's world seems to be against this happening. Where are daily walks and outings? When does he ever get to play with another human being? Does his mother ever express happiness instead of irritation at his attempts to communicate and move around?

Let's not let TH off the hook either. Yes, he works. Big deal. Is he blind to the needs of his son? Is all child rearing women's work to him?

[Linnea]

Is all child rearing women's work to him?

Apparently, yes. Note the plan for next summer: even though TH won't be back at his regular job yet, he won't have primary responsibility for T1; they'll be living with TW's parents, so Grandma can do it.

More thoughts about the therapy: T1 was working with both a speech therapist and a developmental therapist. There were concerns about his receptive speech (that is the right word, isn't it?) as well as his expressive speech. In other words, he seems not to understand language at a level appropriate for his age - can't follow simple commands, etc. So it seems to me that developmental therapy is ESSENTIAL to his progress. It's not just about getting him to spit out some words. But the dev. therapist is the one TW fired because she didn't seem "effective".

Also, in talking about her plans for going back to college, she blithely assumed that T1 would be "done" with therapy by next summer.

There just isn't enough facepalm in the world to express my dismay.

[StarrieEyedKat]

For Thanksgiving they all went around the table to express what they were thankful for - one frivolous thing and one "deep thing." She didn't mention her son, just her iPhone and her husband's ambition and job security. :cry:

[emmiedahl]

My baby may need some speech therapy in the future (we are still in the watching and waiting phase).

The therapist had better make it fun! Because the parents are supposed to be learning and doing the same things with the kid after the therapist leaves, right? The only way I can work with a baby all day on a particular issue is if it is hella interesting to the baby.

I think there are other reasons--for instance, the therapist might have said that he needs to be less confined, and to have more toys, and to have a proper bed in a real bedroom.

[Witsec7]

Thatwife made a commitment to cut back on her blogging and spend more time with her child and husband. Of course she's doing the Pinterrest, twitter etc almost nonstop. No mention of whether she and her headship are still having dinner on the couch in front of the tv. The woman is all about her internet image, and appealing to her supporters online.

I see my comment regarding the high fat content of their vegetarian holiday dinner has been scrubbed.

[Koala]

Via her formspring...

http://4ms.me/tmROvD........

They struggle with the choices T1 makes...wtf.

The link didn't work

[Heaps of Eeps]

The link didn't work

Sorry remove the ...... At the end of link.

She recently twittered that T1 rubbed deodorant all over his face..I wonder if she ever watches him at all.

[contrary]

for real, yo. i had never seen her blog before, but after a bit of poking around, and her post on 'a day in the life', i wonder if (a) she EVER held him to feed him, or if she always put him in his pen with a bottle, and (b) if she ever spent more than 20 minutes a day actively engaged with him.

[kunoichi66]

She recently twittered that T1 rubbed deodorant all over his face..I wonder if she ever watches him at all.

o.0

[FundiesInMyFamily]

the therapist might have said that he needs to be less confined, and to have more toys, and to have a proper bed in a real bedroom

I think you hit the nail on the head, EmmieDahl