Rebecca K. !!!!!!!11111!!!!!! *sensitive*

[WonderingInWA]

Okay, I know this is going WAY out there, but the more I look at photos of her and her living conditions and her family photos and reading what she writes (and making some conclusions about her literacy in general), is there a chance this poor girl is being physically abused?

Before I end up with an onslaught of hate messages, I want to defend myself. She looks really sad. Every smile on her face looks forced. The photos of her sister are the same -- forced smiles. Nobody in her immediate family looks genuinely happy...except her father. He completely grosses me out and I can't even put my finger on exactly why.

This girl is 20 years old, homeschooled (and not very well, it would seem), her family appears to be living on the poverty level (again, totally my opinion), and she just has that look in her eyes of "someone, please see this and save me".

Okay, bring it on, FJers!

And for those not familiar with her blog, it is listed below. Scroll back as far as you like:

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/

[Haligh the Liar]

I don't think she's abused (any more than other girls forced into SAHDhood are), I think she just lives such a boring, Maxwellesque life that there is nothing to be excited about.

If you look at the pictures on her blog, there's really nothing there. Pictures of food, people vaccuming, someone reading a bible, etc. There's nothing wrong with slice of life type pictures, but it looks like there's no life to take a slice of- housework, fellowship, bible, over and over again.

[NurseNell]

I looked through her blog and agree Haligh, just an incredibly boring life. Thanksgiving was at Rebecca's house and it looks like a nice house. There were some photos taken at someone else's house and that house looked pretty poor. I think Rebecca and her sister have natural smiles.

[annalena]

They all look incredibly plan and pale. Maybe Lyndsie could come and sell them some make-up.

Their life looks dull.

[WonderingInWA]

She mentioned on her blog that they were hosting Tgiving, so I am assuming the photos were taken at her (trailer) house. How depressing. She's 20, her parents have to be at least 35, and they are living in a trailer?

Oh, I love the idea that Lyndsie could help these girls be a bit more attractive with several layers of makeup! Too bad Lyndsie has cut herself off from us -- she could be making some money!

I don't know, I still think the dad in this picture looks like he's got some predatory instincts. I know it's wrong to accuse falsely, but I have an instinct feel about him.

[annalena]

I have that feeling about so many fundie dads...

You really think her parents are that young?

[FloraDoraDolly]

Rebecca's family didn't strike me as being very poor. I haven't looked at her whole blog, but based on the photos I've seen I didn't even realize that they live in a trailer. The place doesn't have that 8 Mile look about it. I don't get the impression that they are wealthy people, but they just seem like ordinary, working class folks to me. And with only two daughters at home, you don't see anyone sleeping on industrial shelving or anything like that.

[terranova]

I can't make any individual judgements on the lifestyles of these girls, but I was looking at the baptism photos on the main page and wondering how common sexual abuse must be in these tight knit fundie communities. These girls are taught to obey men, and to what end? I seriously seriously hope this is not happening, but it does make me cringe looking at the photos.

[LIzzieB]

I'm concerned that one of the babies (George) pictured appears to have a cleft palate. I don't know much about this, but don't they usually try to operate when babies are young to stop them from having troubles with feeding and developing language? They appear to have a special bottle to feed him, but wouldn't you be seeking treatment for this?

Very happy to be wrong if someone more knowledgable weighs in!

[Sola]

I'd be very surprised if there was any abuse there at all. They're poor but there is nothing wrong with being poor.

Rebecca seems sweet, if a little lacking in critical thinking skills. I would say the same of the rest of the family too.

As for baby George; as far as I am aware it depends on the severity of the cleft. A simple cleft involving only the lip tends to be fixed pretty early as it is only a simply surgery. A more complex cleft would take several surgeries and I personally would feel wary of putting such a tiny baby through that.

He does seem to be under the care of a doctor according to the blog posts.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't think I have read or seen anything at all to indicate abuse. Her father is physically 'unfortunate-looking'. I don't think an abuser can be identified by their looks.

How do we know that they live in a trailer?

[MrsKay]

It's hard to tell just with photos, but it looks like Baby George might have "just" a cleft lip, and not palate. That makes it less severe, and almost as much a cosmetic issue as it is for feeding etc., when it comes to waiting for surgery. If it's not as severe as a total cleft palate, I can understand why they might want to wait until he's a bit bigger.

Aha, further reading reveals something about heart failure. So it's probably a low priority compared to the risk of something going wrong with his heart during surgery.

I don't think she looks abused; she just looks like she has a very sheltered, boring life.

[CelticGoddess]

I'd be very surprised if there was any abuse there at all. They're poor but there is nothing wrong with being poor.

Rebecca seems sweet, if a little lacking in critical thinking skills. I would say the same of the rest of the family too.

As for baby George; as far as I am aware it depends on the severity of the cleft. A simple cleft involving only the lip tends to be fixed pretty early as it is only a simply surgery. A more complex cleft would take several surgeries and I personally would feel wary of putting such a tiny baby through that.

He does seem to be under the care of a doctor according to the blog posts.

It appears from the photo's that he has a partial cleft lip. I noticed the haberman feeder. I would assume, becuase of that, he has a cleft of the soft palate.

As far as surgery, it all depends on the surgeon. My son had his surgeries at 5mos for his lip (late, due to ftt. It would have been done around 3mos), his soft palate was repaired at 18mos and his hard palate was repaired at 3 years. He did have an obturator (artificial palate). My son had a very wide cleft and total involvement. Other families I worked with (I was on the board for a cleft lip/palate support group) had very similar experiences.

[clibbyjo]

I am assuming she knows they live in a trailer due to the fake ceilings? Trailers usually have those panels,not real ceilings make of drywall or plaster.(I am not a trailer expert and have only been in a few, but this is what I have noticed. Don't give me attitude either, my parents lived in a trailer when I was born and bought a house when I was 2, so I guess I am a trailer baby myself :))

Back to the topic, I am creeped out by that whole family. Something is going on with both girls, but I cannot put my finger on it. Maybe it is just the way they stare with the crazy eyes and lack of makeup that plays up the dark eye circles? I don't know. They look unhappy to me and insecure,but that could just be the way they are raised. They are both adults now, I do think if there was an abuse situation they would have gone to live with the cousins or something as they seem close enough with Leona or those Wilkinson people they are always discussing. At least I hope. :think:

[GenerationCedarchip]

They seem incredibly sheltered, but I don't get that abuse vibe when I look through the blog. The pictures seem like stuff I saw in my old fundie church growing up. The "fundie nobility" don't live like this, but it actually looks like a pretty normal life for the rank and file fundie families. This girl's horizons seem sadly narrow, but not more than the usual.

[WonderingInWA]

Yes, the Thanksgiving photos appear to have been taken in a trailer based on the seams in the ceiling and walls and that "low-rise" ceiling (gotta fit under an overpass on the freeway, don't you know!). Not that there is anything wrong with living in a trailer as long as it's a roof over your head, but I do think that's her house and not that of a relative. How sad is that?

Her mother looks like she could have missed a meal or two or a LOT which is really un-fundie, isn't it? Most of the fundie's I've found eat healthily.

Her father smiles proudly. I'm probably reading way too much into him, but he really looks like an untrustworthy fellow. It would not surprise me at all if he is sexually abusing his daughters. His wife is no prize, so why not go for the next best thing? Sorry, I know this is probably super offensive, but he REALLY sets off my radar and I can't explain why.

[gustava]

Living in a trailer is not snarkable, folks. Get a grip.

[WonderingInWA]

Living in a trailer is not snarkable, folks. Get a grip.

Well, aren't you a party poop! It really is snarkable. Nothing but the best to keep that wife and those adult daughters at home! What's sad is that this kind of thing probably happens more than we know. It's just that this particular girl is sharing photos of it.

[emmiedahl]

Living in a tiny, rundown trailer is completely snarkable, and I say this as someone who grew up in that and similar dwellings.

[Witsec1]

Well, aren't you a party poop! It really is snarkable. Nothing but the best to keep that wife and those adult daughters at home! What's sad is that this kind of thing probably happens more than we know. It's just that this particular girl is sharing photos of it.

Why? Also, you can tell someone is an abuser by the way they look? That's right up there with Mark Driscoll who can "see" when people have been abused.

Edited to say, why is living in a trailer or being low-income inherently snarkable?

[emmiedahl]

Living in a trailer or being poor is personally snarkworthy to me when the people in question claim that their lifestyle is superior and when they are purposely keeping half of their earning power out of the market by choice.

See also: the Jeubs.

I have lived in a rundown trailer and I am currently temporarily low-income. Not that this gives me a right to be a dick to people, but is this trailer not filled with people who are basically refusing to work out of religious principle?

[darkplumaged]

It's also possible that they live in a modular/manufactured home, not a trailer per se.

I also think her dad is rather creepy-looking, but that's probably not a fair basis for assessing his character.

[VodouDoll]

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/2011/11/lately.html

If you scroll down to the shots of women taking a walk, are those the women in her family? Joanna, Hannah, Susanna, Annah? Why didn't poor Rebecca get a name that ends with an nah sound? Maybe her parents were bored of it by the time she came around.

[contrary]

whether or not we can agree on the snarkability of the trailer or the father's questionable demeanor, i think we can all agree that the vow renewal photos are v. v. snarkable.

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/2011/10/happy-belated-anniversary.html

[contrary]

oh lord, and then i go back another page and find the cakes they are paid (?????) to decorate!

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/2011/10/recent-cakes.html