The Hidden Value of a Man

[CanticleoftheTurning]

Published by Focus on the Family.

DH and I were reading through and snarking on my dad's website/blog (the BPD/NPD psychologically and verbally abusive fundie-ish Catholic) when we saw that he was talking about how "The Hidden Value of a Man" changed his life when he read it. I just am now trying to find info on it, and DH found a link to a sample PDF chapter:

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q= ... tcfo86dlIw

What do you think? Snarkworthy, or not?

Reading the sample chapter though, I can see why my dad freaked out when I talked about wanting to walk down the church aisle side by side with DH as equals. I explicitly said I didn't want to be given away and feel like chattel. That evening after I told my mom that, my dad sent me an email disowning me, and tearing into me by saying I was a radical liberal feminist in cahoots with a radical liberal feminist priest.

I've been meaning to work on a memoir about growing up with a BPD/NPD fundie homeschooling father, and right now I'm still trying to gather info about my father's mindset in order to talk about it more intelligently. I'm kinda in the same boat as AnnoDomini, working on trying to figure out what's fundie and what's not, what's unhealthy and what's healthy.

So, I'm putting this out to my radical liberal feminist FreeJinger friends to see what the hive vagina thinks. ;)

[CanticleoftheTurning]

Oh, DH found out that the author worked for Bill Gothard for 10 years, and has published a book about "key to a child's heart" or some such shit that is basically a manual for abusing kids--but don't worry! It's religious!

Geez. I wonder if my dad read that, too.

I'm even more scared for my siblings now. All the more reason to write a memoir.

[LadyBBR]

I read the sample chapter and I have no idea of what this "power" that men have is. I like that the author takes JD to task for being insensitive, abusive, uncaring, and controlling of his wife and family. It sounds like he was all of the those things, and if this is the crisis of men, I think the authors are right on!

[Austin]

This book was on our bookshelf for years. My husband doesn't remember where he got it and never read it, and it's since been packed off to the half-price bookstore.

I read the chapter you posted and it doesn't seem as bad as a lot of stuff I've read coming out of FOtF. However, it's kind of hard to see how this changed your dad's life, at least how you've described him. It would be interesting to know exactly how he thinks it changed him, because I'd hate to see how he was before given your description. :shock:

[CanadianHippie]

Published by Focus on the Family.

All I need to know I don't want to read it.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

This book was on our bookshelf for years. My husband doesn't remember where he got it and never read it, and it's since been packed off to the half-price bookstore.

I read the chapter you posted and it doesn't seem as bad as a lot of stuff I've read coming out of FOtF. However, it's kind of hard to see how this changed your dad's life, at least how you've described him. It would be interesting to know exactly how he thinks it changed him, because I'd hate to see how he was before given your description. :shock:

I'm glad to hear that the book isn't too off kilter...for a FotF book, that is :lol: I was afraid it would be on par with Colafrancesco's book, How to Change Your Husband. DH thinks they have it at the library near our house, so we might check it out and skim through it to see if any part of the book might be crazy, just in case. I suspect he will refer to the Hidden Value of a Man in the book he's planning on writing, about leadership for fathers and men of the family.

My dad's thing on his website doesn't give the specifics about how it changed his life--just that he recommends it to friends and they love it too. I think he probably read it years ago--I remember when I was 5 or 6 we drove to Colo Springs (we used to live in CO) and went to the FotF bookstore, and I think that was after he read that book.

My husband is also freaked out about how bad my dad must have used to be, because I would always say, "but he's doing so much better now!" back in my brainwashed days. My mom would only allude to my dad being "worse" when I was little, but "he's much better now."

And now, after being NC with them, I see that the "much better now" was actually pretty darn bad.

[snarkbillie]

I suspect he will refer to the Hidden Value of a Man in the book he's planning on writing, about leadership for fathers and men of the family.

OT but he might want to read "Tender Warrior" as well.