Why I Feel For Fundie Children

[Want More Babies]

This lady was asking for advice on an email group. Hopefully her son can hang in there three more years and then make a break for it.

They take something normal, like texting, having friends, etc. and make it EBIL.

I am trying to think what advice to give her since she asked for it. Maybe let her son be "normal". The more she takes away the better at sneaking he will get.

Let me try to make this quick, Our 15 yo son goes to a public school(i wished

not) has an ipod which he has been texting using a text free service and private

messaging on Facebook. I have been suspecting somethings, and we changed the

pass word about a month ago and he figured it out.

now after confronting him yesterday, I have the ipod, the password is changed

again.

I searched around on it and found questionable people on his friend list,

he is texting about 5 girls from school and some he has met at ball games

(grandfather is a bus driver and he was going with him to the games, i thought

he was watching him)

and he is secretly seeing a girl from church by sneaking around at church to be

together. I do know she has fondled him based on a text that was on the ipod.

they have been caught a few times when they are supposed to be coming from the

class rooms.

What am I to do?? I have raised him up understanding that this sort of thing is

wrong, how we feel about it. so he knows the standards and morals that we hold

and I have shared the scriptures with him.

I want to take the ipod away forever, what am I to do? what do I say?

[FlorenceHamilton]

This lady was asking for advice on an email group. Hopefully her son can hang in there three more years and then make a break for it.

They take something normal, like texting, having friends, etc. and make it EBIL.

I am trying to think what advice to give her since she asked for it. Maybe let her son be "normal". The more she takes away the better at sneaking he will get.

Let me try to make this quick, Our 15 yo son goes to a public school(i wished

not) has an ipod which he has been texting using a text free service and private

messaging on Facebook. I have been suspecting somethings, and we changed the

pass word about a month ago and he figured it out.

now after confronting him yesterday, I have the ipod, the password is changed

again.

I searched around on it and found questionable people on his friend list,

he is texting about 5 girls from school and some he has met at ball games

(grandfather is a bus driver and he was going with him to the games, i thought

he was watching him)

and he is secretly seeing a girl from church by sneaking around at church to be

together. I do know she has fondled him based on a text that was on the ipod.

they have been caught a few times when they are supposed to be coming from the

class rooms.

What am I to do?? I have raised him up understanding that this sort of thing is

wrong, how we feel about it. so he knows the standards and morals that we hold

and I have shared the scriptures with him.

I want to take the ipod away forever, what am I to do? what do I say?

Answer: Teach him about respecting himself and about respecting other people. Teach him that it is normal to develop strong feelings for girls at times and that it is his responsibility to control his impulses. Tell him and show him that you respect him and you hold him to the high standards that you set. Raise the bar for him. Teach him that life is full of temptations and this will not be the first nor will it be the last. As a human being, he is responsible for his actions. He is expected to think before he acts, even when the impulse to act is very very strong. When he is more grown up and mature, he will be better able to navigate the world of male/female interaction.

Teach him about safety and protection in the event that he feels compelled to act upon his desires. Tell him that the consequences of his actions will follow him the rest of his life. He is at risk for disease and he is at risk to face parenthood while still a child himself. You should have been teaching him this bit by bit every day of his life. Insteas of training him up, you should be teaching him to think and to grow up. I suggest you start soon. You do not have much time left to help him become a thinking adult person.

[Jazzyjen]

I think I would just be thankful for them being normal teenagers who hadn't done anything. I have 2, and I'll be thrilled if this is the worst I have to deal with.

[Yo Nurse]

FlorenceHamilton, I agree with your entire post! I feel for fundy children because I don't feel that their parents enjoy them in the least. They always seem to be correcting them or beating on them, not just watching them do cool kid things.My friends who have kids just seem to delight in the funny stuff they do and not dwell on the wrong things they do. They just correct them and move on.

I remember reading the post of that vile she-beast Kendall, who seemed to love her daughter best when the child thanked her father for beating her. I just had no words for the messed up nature of that interaction and felt the child would be better off raised by wolves than under Kendall's care. Actually, I felt that way after reading most of the fundies we snark on.

[Austin]

I think I would just be thankful for them being normal teenagers who hadn't done anything. I have 2, and I'll be thrilled if this is the worst I have to deal with.

No kidding. Big deal, the kid has an iPod, is texting, and hanging around with girls. He's fifteen, for heaven's sake!

I'm sure the "advice" will be along the lines of "get him out of the ebil government school", "take his iPod and throw it in a river", and sequester him in the house and "don't let him out of your sight".

I hope his "rebellious" spirit is intact enogh that he'll make a run for it in a couple of years. She should talk to parents who have real problems with their teens, poor hothouse flower.

FH, your post is great!

[liltwinstar]

So...she's mad because her 15 year old son is texting other 15 year old girls??

Wow, yeah, way to make a mountain out of a molehill...It hought she was going to say something like he was looking at porn or texting much older men/women he met in chatrooms or something.

My personal opinion is that she shouldn't take away the ipod. She should invite the girlfriend over and make the gf a normal part of their lives, in addition to the boy's other friends (both male and female).

She should also read some child/adolescent development books to educate herself on what is normal behavior for a child her son's age, so that she can help him develop into a normal adult capable of normal relationships with women. Also, if she hasn't already, she should discuss biology/reproductive health with him. Regardless of "moral" values, he deserves to know both how his own body works and how women's bodies work. What he chooses to do with that information is up to him (and God, if he believes in God).

Somehow I doubt she would like my opinion...

[gustava]

She says her son is using a "text free service". Wish I had one of those!!!! Wonder who's paying for it?

[buddingmedievalist]

She says her son is using a "text free service". Wish I had one of those!!!! Wonder who's paying for it?

I think you can download an app for the iPod touch that lets it send texts for free

[emmiedahl]

Yes, there are free text apps that you can download for an iPod Touch.

srsly, I am wondering what she calls fondling. Did the girl hug him? How many bases can you get past in the hall at church?

[O Latin]

Wow. I'm generally in favor of pretty strict rules for teenagers, but jeez, the kid is talking to his friends. Not the end of the world. It reminds me of my friend who's always mad at his 14-year-old for, gasp, going on Facebook after school. And he's not even remotely fundie, he just thinks his son should never do anything but homework.