Who wants to do the Bible study based on Twilight?

[fundiefan]

I tried to give it a fair chance too. The first day I got it, I could only get like, 12 pages in, and it was so boring and stupid that I tossed it aside and moved on. Untill about 2 weeks later when I had to hand it in to the library, so I slogged through it as best I could. Holy shit. I'm a huge HP fan, and I'll admit Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone starts off a bit slow, but holy shit. 200 pages of wangst. 200 pages of the only interesting thing being Edward acting like a creepy douche canoe. I really didn't get the appeal.

I kind of scanned through a lot of the stuff immediately after the baseball game (really?), so it wasn't until Bella got to Phoenix where things actually got interesting. I read the rest of the series, hoping that was par for the course, but noooo. 200-300 pages of Edward being a creepy douche canoe, and then 50-100 pages of action.

Don't even get me started on Breaking Dawn. I'm still trying to figure out how the fuck the film adaptation got split into 2 parts. Because it's wedding, honeymoon, knocked up, vampire c-section, OH SHIT THEY THINK HALF-VAMPIRE BABY IS ILLEGAL VAMPIRE TODDLER, and then... absolutely fucking nothing. All of that can be covered in one 2.5 hour film. It's not Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, for damn sure.

Not, but it is definitely an HP wannabe. Harry Potter 7 in two parts was immensely profitable. The producers of Twilight were not going to let that chance slip away; they are riding HP's coattails. It never would have worked had HP not done it first and had the first of the Twilight;s been released within months of HP 7.2.

I was kind of stuck with the book. I was on a vacation and ran out of reading material. The only thing that wasn't a Harlequin in the resort gift shop was Twilight. I read it in a day on the beach then needed more new reading material and it was still a choice of Harlequin or Eclipse. After the second, I had to read the last two. Breaking Dawn just about killed me. It took me a week to read it because I just couldn't force myself through more than a chapter or two at a time.

[alba]

Also, from what I've read of the last book, Edward wanted her to have an abortion to save her life, but she was all "I have a special bond with this baby, I don't care if I die giving birth!". Way to be anti-feminist, Stephanie Meyer.

I actually thought that was one of the less anti-feminist moments in the series. If feminism is about choice, then Bella's choice to risk her life for her child should be equally valid as another woman's choice to have an abortion, no? I would have found it more anti-feminist if Edward tried to force her into having an abortion to protect her.

I don't think that what she chooses is the best message to be sending to impressionable young girls, but I think it's better than her submitting to Edward's will.

[MerryHappy]

Twilight lost me when grown men starting "imprinting" on children.

[Effie]

Bella's life, I hate to say it, is the one that is presented as normative to Mormon girls. That life is: "I am nothing without a man." (Actually, it's worse than that, it's "I can't get to the highest level of heaven without a man.") And so she puts up with all sorts of stalkerish shit, and even getting the crap beaten out of her during *sex* on her *honeymoon*, because Edward is her eternal intended. The whole thing just makes me want to barf. I don't have children, but if I did, I'd be saying, let's have a looong chat about these books and how they don't reflect reality. Except for the abuse part. That is all too true.

Bella is a very boring character. I mean, she has no hobbies and her main job after school is cooking for her father. So what does the smart, handsome and mysterious doctor's son Edward who has two degrees from Harvard see in her? Her beauty? I seriously doubt it's her personality...

I agree with you, Mirele. Edward keeps watching her at night, is jealous of her best friend and is behaving generally like a nasty controlling psychopath boyfriend. Why does she put up with that?

I hate that dad Swan hands over his daughter during the wedding. It's like she is given away from a man to another. Seriously, do people still do that during weddings? Or perhaps it's a cultural thing? It's very uncommon here, and there was an outcry last year when our crown princess decided that she wanted to be handed over by her daddy - the King. :roll:

Before the newly weds have sex for the first time, Bella goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth, brush her hair and of course shave her legs. :roll: Blaah.

Then Bella falls asleep after the sex, and wakes up with bruises all over her body and in a broken bed... and she wants to do it again. :o Bella tries to hide the bruises in her dressing gown and is wondering if she was not good enough. That's something she has been worried about even in the earlier films - to be enough, be good enough for the amazing Edward. But yes, she is, assures her wonderful husband, it was his best night ever, but he can't control his desires... :?

Then follows a two-week honeymoon, where Bella tries to seduce Edward by sticking out her butt and wearing sexy lingerie. Boom, suddenly the woman becomes an object - and then becomes an abortion drama.

It seems like Bella became pregnant right away. No one had thought of protection (abstinence is the only protection...) and that vampires could impregnate people.

The fetus grows as a parasite in Bella's stomach, and poses a risk to her life. Bella should have an abortion, but she does not. Because real women don't... :?

People try to persuade her, but apparently her maternal instincts are stronger than all other emotions... Bella says "It is my decision, not yours," which is definitely right. It's actually the only thing in the whole movie that I would endorse: a woman's right to her own body.

Very very disturbing... Also is it normal to want to sacrifice everything for a man?

[emmiedahl]

The father-handing-over thing is very common in the US, almost a stereotype. I was sad that my father was not alive to 'give me away', and my husband cried when he walked my stepdaughter down the aisle for her ring ceremony (not to be confused with the wedding; no non-Mormons were allowed!).

[Effie]

The father-handing-over thing is very common in the US, almost a stereotype. I was sad that my father was not alive to 'give me away', and my husband cried when he walked my stepdaughter down the aisle for her ring ceremony (not to be confused with the wedding; no non-Mormons were allowed!).

Oh okay, it's very uncommon here. We don't do that. I think our crown princess thought it was suitable for a princess though. However, even her church criticized her decision. :lol: A priest wrote her a letter, telling her that her decision would be contrary to Swedish tradition, and the Swedish Church's regime, which says that the couple should walk up the aisle together. There were many facebook pages about her decision. xD People were telling her that she could walk by herself, or that the future prince should be handed over by his mother instead.

[Maul the Koala]

I actually thought that was one of the less anti-feminist moments in the series. If feminism is about choice, then Bella's choice to risk her life for her child should be equally valid as another woman's choice to have an abortion, no? I would have found it more anti-feminist if Edward tried to force her into having an abortion to protect her.

I don't think that what she chooses is the best message to be sending to impressionable young girls, but I think it's better than her submitting to Edward's will.

I might be mis-remembering since there is no way I'm touching the book, but doesn't Edward beg Jacob to get Bella pregnant?

[LIzzieB]

Twilight is like literary junk food for me: you know it's bad for you, you feel kind of gross after consuming it, but at the time it's kind of fun. It sends some appalling messages and the writing is terrible (reading 20 references to Edward being a marble god is vomit-making) but somehow ends up being captivating. I can't explain it. I was introduced to Twilight by two co-workers in their mid-twenties who were obsessed by it. They just couldn't understand when I said that I thought New Moon was one of the dullest books I've ever read (a whole book about someone pining?!) and that if I had a boyfriend like Edward in Eclipse, that I would kick him in the nuts for being so overbearing and controlling.

Yes, Edward thinks that Bella wants a child, so in trying to convince her to abort the foetus to save her life, he tries to convince Jacob to impregnate Bella *safely* so she can have children if she wants. Of course, Bella just wants *Edward's* baby.

[O Latin]

I discovered Twilight right around the time that Breaking Dawn (the book) came out. I loved them, I think partly because at the time I was desperate for some guy to come along and marry me and save me from going to the out-of-state college that my parents had basically picked out for me. I even pre-ordered Breaking Dawn so it would be delivered the day it came out. I planned like two whole days to just sit and devour it, but I ended up going over to my friend's house to play Rock Band instead. It was the most disappointing end to a series ever. I was like, OMG that was waaaaaaaayyyyy too long and NOTHING HAPPENED! WTF!

Apparently the birth scene in the Breaking Dawn movie is pretty intense. A friend of mine went to the midnight opening and he was so grossed out that he had to go to the hospital. And he wasn't the only one. Another friend posted on Facebook that she almost threw up and other people were being taken out on stretchers.

[Kitty]

Apparently the birth scene in the Breaking Dawn movie is pretty intense. A friend of mine went to the midnight opening and he was so grossed out that he had to go to the hospital. And he wasn't the only one. Another friend posted on Facebook that she almost threw up and other people were being taken out on stretchers.

Holy shit.

I want to go see it now, even though I know I'm one of those people who would have to be carried out on a stretcher. What? I'm the Kitty that curiosity killed :dance:

[CanadianHippie]

Agreed, the women in Harry Potter are amazing, including the author. What a story of picking yourself up by your bootstraps, being persistent, and working hard to forge a better life for you and your kid. I recently read this really fantastic article on Huffington Post called "Hermione Granger: The Heroine Women Have Been Waiting For." Was a great read!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-hib ... =fb&src=sp

I think Stephen King summed up the discrepancies between HP/Twilight pretty well: "Harry Potter is about doing what's right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." And you know what? I don't even understand why Edward and Jacob (the werewolf) are so enthralled with Bella. That part is NEVER explained, which only serves to make the story even more illogical and unbelievable. Bella is the most blah female character! She doesn't do anything noteworthy or heroic. She just sits around pining after her crush, moping, and feeling sorry for herself. And in the movies, the only "acting" Kristen Stewart has to do is portray this moping, blah, angst-ridden character. And IMO, angst can be done well (think Clare Danes in My So Called Life), but Bella just.....sucks. And yet we are supposed to believe that the 2 hottest boys in town are willing to lay down their lives to win her love every time you turn around.

I'll pass on that Twilight "Bible" study, thanks.

The heroine I spent 20 years waiting for is Beka Cooper!

[GryffindorFTW]

Apparently the birth scene in the Breaking Dawn movie is pretty intense. A friend of mine went to the midnight opening and he was so grossed out that he had to go to the hospital. And he wasn't the only one. Another friend posted on Facebook that she almost threw up and other people were being taken out on stretchers.

Is there any credible sauce on this? The movie is only rated PG-13; I just don't see how it could be that intense.

[Patsy]

Yup, I was always in the Jacob camp, too. I think he has some sketchy overprotective traits, too, but he's got nothing on Edward.

"Sorry you didn't get to marry Bella. But look, we've had a baby now, and she'll have an adult body in four years. Want to screw her then?"

"Well sure! Havin' sex with a four-year-old is okay if she looks legal!"

Such a repulsive series. The ideas behind parts of it are beyond the pale.

[ADoyle90815]

I tried to read the first Twilight book, but couldn't get into it at all, and I haven't read the rest. I guess it didn't appeal to me since I'm not 12, nor am I a bored Mormon housewife. On the other hand, it did cure my insomnia on the night I picked it up to read it. One reason I hated the series is that Edward is a controlling, abusive boyfriend/husband who stalked her by watching her sleep. The other reason why I have no desire to finish the series is that it's sickening that an adult would "imprint" on a child, as that makes him into a pedophile.

[Deleted12]

I've seen the first two movies but I think the books sound moronic.

I would go for Jacob just based on the fact that making out with a dude whose body temperature is 40 degrees sounds off-putting. Like srsly, keep your peen-sicle away from teh vag kthxbye.

[woolgeek]

Apparently the birth scene in the Breaking Dawn movie is pretty intense. A friend of mine went to the midnight opening and he was so grossed out that he had to go to the hospital. And he wasn't the only one. Another friend posted on Facebook that she almost threw up and other people were being taken out on stretchers.

Eh, that's some serious overreaction there.

The whole thing is shown from Bella's POV with random closeups of her face, so all you see is a hazy view of her bruised bellly with Edward and Jacob at the end of the table. Eddie leans over the comes back up with blood on his face after chewing the baby out but you don't actually see it happening.

I went and saw it for the pure snark factor. Even though I knew it was coming, I still wanted to punch Jacob in the face when he fell in mad baby love.

[alba]

I might be mis-remembering since there is no way I'm touching the book, but doesn't Edward beg Jacob to get Bella pregnant?

I don't think so, no. He seems to think that vampires can't impregnate women because vampire women can't get pregnant, and somehow that become 'vampires can't make babies'.

ETA: Sorry, I misread that as 'Doesn't Edward beg Bella to get pregnant'. Fail!

The heroine I spent 20 years waiting for is Beka Cooper!

I love Tamora Pierce's books :D

"Sorry you didn't get to marry Bella. But look, we've had a baby now, and she'll have an adult body in four years. Want to screw her then?"

"Well sure! Havin' sex with a four-year-old is okay if she looks legal!"

Such a repulsive series. The ideas behind parts of it are beyond the pale.

Uh, yeah, I think I'd managed to edit that bit out of my memory because it's so damn horrifying :whistle:

[VodouDoll]

I might be mis-remembering since there is no way I'm touching the book, but doesn't Edward beg Jacob to get Bella pregnant?

Yup!

“I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive,†[Edward] said, suddenly focused now. “If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.†He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.â€

What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn’t mind being shared?

“Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.â€

I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.

So tempting.

I felt like—like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.

[fundiefan]

I discovered Twilight right around the time that Breaking Dawn (the book) came out. I loved them, I think partly because at the time I was desperate for some guy to come along and marry me and save me from going to the out-of-state college that my parents had basically picked out for me. I even pre-ordered Breaking Dawn so it would be delivered the day it came out. I planned like two whole days to just sit and devour it, but I ended up going over to my friend's house to play Rock Band instead. It was the most disappointing end to a series ever. I was like, OMG that was waaaaaaaayyyyy too long and NOTHING HAPPENED! WTF!

Apparently the birth scene in the Breaking Dawn movie is pretty intense. A friend of mine went to the midnight opening and he was so grossed out that he had to go to the hospital. And he wasn't the only one. Another friend posted on Facebook that she almost threw up and other people were being taken out on stretchers.

Sorry. I gotta' call foul. Stretchers? Going to the hospital because of the scene? What, exactly did he - and/or the doctors - do at the hospital, a minimum of 15 minutes after (unless the hospital was across the street) seeing a scene in a movie?

My 16 year old niece and her friends went to see it and they had a lot to say about it - what they loved, what they hated and what they were disappointed in. Not one mentioned anything being so bad that people were taken out on stretchers or going to the hospital. One of my best friends went with her daughter & daughter's friends and she had very little to say about it because she doesn't like the series much more than I do but she went to take the girls. She gave absolutely no indication that there were hospital inducing scenes or stretchers on the ready. Neither of these groups even mentioned the birth scene; at least not in any context that made it worth remembering.

I don't buy it. It could be a gory scene, no doubt. Its description in the book was probably Stephanie Meyer's best writing of the series since it was outside the scope of "Bella loves Edward, Jacob loves Bella, feel sorry for the poor girl". But, for all the hype of the movie, all the reviews, professional and personal, not one said a single thing was said about that scene being so bad that it sent people to the hospital or out of the theater on stretchers, or even running to the bathroom.

[O Latin]

Well, my friend swears it was the movie that sent him to the hospital (he's not a big Twilight fan, so this probably makes a good excuse for him to say, "see, I shouldn't watch Twilight movies"), but from the way he described it it sounds like he was massively dehydrated or something (he said all they did at the hospital was give him tons of fluid), which, yeah, not the movie's fault. He's also kind of a drama king, so it may not have actually been as bad as he made it out to be.

I never did get an explanation from the other friend about the people being taken out on stretchers, so I don't know what the deal is there. She said the birth scene made her almost throw up, which I can buy, because I know there are scenes in certain movies that I can't watch because I start gagging.

It's probably just a coincidence (or a bad batch of popcorn or something), I just thought it was funny that there were so many people getting sick at the same movie.

[Deleted12]

So it was a total major barf-o-rama?

I read the NYTimes review:

Crucially and as important, Mr. Condon, whose earlier films include “Dreamgirls†and “Gods and Monsters,†can also offer up, and without a suggestion of filmmaker embarrassment, the sight of Mr. Lautner ripping off his shirt. As Jacob, Edward’s long-suffering, oft-rejected rival for Bella’s affection, Mr. Lautner has plenty of reasons to strip angry: he can turn into a wolf, for starters, and Jacob’s musculature has long been one of the most special of the movies’ effects. That’s reason enough for Mr. Condon to get the character’s shirt off, as is the unavoidable truth that Mr. Lautner, whose pumped physique and flat affect bring to mind one of those friendly pizza delivery boys in a pornographic movie, remains a dish best served with as few words and clothes as possible.

:D

[keen23]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again- The vampire pregnancy/birth scene is totally stolen from Anne Rice's Lasher books. It's ridiculous how similar the two are. Sure, Lasher wasn't a vampire, but he was some type of immortal creature.

[emmiedahl]

I read that book (Lasher) and it was amazing. I don't remember a lot, but I like me some Anne Rice. My 9 yo read Christ the Lord and really enjoyed it.

[Deleted12]

FTL: Extended discussion of Mormon tropes in teh Twilight:

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

[Samantha]

I read Twilight my senior year of high school when I came down with mono. At the time I thought that there was nothing wrong with Bella's life being pretty much over when Edward was gone. Plenty of women that I knew acted that way.

I enjoyed the books in the same way that I enjoy any kind of junk food or crappy reality show. It was something to do while laying in bed falling in and out of conciousness.

Now that I'm a little older, I realize that the behavior in this book by all parties is not normal.

FTL: Extended discussion of Mormon tropes in teh Twilight:

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

I love you for this! It is really quite accurate and so funny.