Robert Pattinson is not hot

[Guest Anonymous]

OMG, Lissar, Cleolinda is why I started watching the movies.

Okay, here's the deal. Hadn't watched the movies or read the books. Driving home, raining, bored, had just gone to dentist and didn't want to go back to work. Stopped at movie theater. Only thing starting was Breaking Dawn. I was like, "don't know it all, know basic story, wanna munch popcorn and see vampire baby." Watched movie. Totally appalled by how horribly bad it was. Just so, so bad. Bad bad. Not even awesome bad like "Saving Silverman" or "Spice World." Just bad.

So I Google it when I get home and somehow find Cleolinda, who is a goddess on earth and I would totally get totes homosexual for her because she is made of awesome.

Hence, I borrowed all three movies - watched two last night and now watching third tonight WHILE reading Cleolinda.

Cleolinda + Twilight + Grey Goose = very happy and laughy Gizmola!!

Ahhhh! That's awesome. *Fistbump of Cleolinda Fangirl Solidarity*

[browncoatslytherin]

i shall have to read more blogs of this cleolinda...i like her views on twilight!

[Constance Vigilance]

Ahhhh! That's awesome. *Fistbump of Cleolinda Fangirl Solidarity*

We've all read the Secret Diaries, yes? I know there was some fanwank about that, don't remember what it was, but man I laughed at those for years.

I will have to make my way to the Twilight stuff!

[browncoatslytherin]

We've all read the Secret Diaries, yes? I know there was some fanwank about that, don't remember what it was, but man I laughed at those for years.

I will have to make my way to the Twilight stuff!

secret diaries? do you mean lord of the rings secret diaries?? in that case, glad to meet another fan! i read those years and years ago and absolutely DIED.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Robert Pattinson's appeal is completely lost on me. But he does seem rather personable in interviews. Kristen Stewart is about as personable as dryer lint.

[LynnKaboom]

My mom thinks Robert Pattinson is hot, and keeps going on about how she wishes he was older. Which creeps me out, because he's what, 3-5 years older than me?

I just can't think he's hot because he is pretty much a carbon copy of this douchey guy who was in my computer science class in 11th grade. He thought he was the sexiest man alive, and had a hugely overinflated ego. Every time I see him I can't help but go "WTF?! Who thought it was a good idea to put (that guy) in a movie?!"

[Shirley MacLaine]

In the books he congratulated Jacob for forcibly kissing his daughter, then laughed at her for breaking her hand when she hit him for it. Did they take that out of the movie?

I was all :shock: . And he's a freaking police officer! I'd hate to report a sexual assault to that douchebag.

I don't remember that! Awww, dang.

[Angri-la]

I had to review the first Twilight film for a local rag, and had absolutely no idea about the hype beforehand. Seriously, I knew, as my best friend writes good vampire novels that do not get the attention they deserve, that they existed, and were written by a Mormon, but that was it. Well, and that it was partially shot in my town. Yes, the prom hotel burned down, but not before they had at least 3 "Twilight Proms".

Cut to naive me, arriving to the premiere to cop cars, and a line of women snaking around the cinema. I received some seriously nasty looks, waltzing past the line with my press pass. Inside, I, quite literally, ran into a tall Native American man with the whitest teeth I'd ever seen. I overheard him say to a woman "I don't want to be here".

Get into the theatre: there are about 4 men in the audience. There was a freaking FANFICTION contest, and I had to sit through teens-middle aged ladies reading their fan fic. The one that won ended with Edward telling Bella he went vegan, or some nonsense. Then, I find out the tall kid I ran into is someone named Taylor, who is in the movie. Huh.

Then the movie plays. I get glared at several times for laughing out loud at some of the turgid dialogue, and simpering main character. I stay to the end. I didn't win a ticket to the afterparty. My review was not a good one, and I got a ton of hate mail, even though it was a grown up paper, they all sounded like a 14 year old educated at the SOTDRT. Just....not my thing.

Personally, I think Peter Facinelli is way hotter than Robert Pattinson.

[browncoatslytherin]

Personally, I think Peter Facinelli is way hotter than Robert Pattinson.

OMG i agree with you. just. wow. :shock:

[AnnoDomini]

Pattinson is more attractive in non-Twilight roles. And some of us very much enjoy pale and skinny. I don't care for the ashen tone in Twilight but his skin tone is quite nice in, say, Remember Me. He's got freckles on his back and I can't hate on that. Also, he's more attractive when he has his English accent (see Cedric Diggory in 'Goblet of Fire'). He'll probably be interesting, even handsome, in his 30s-40s.

[wtfrenchtoast]

I have to admit, I kind of love Robert Pattinson. I got Harry Potter valentines for my friends one year, and kept the one with him on it. I just like to pretend his Twilight role doesn't exist. He's much more attractive outside of being Edward.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Get into the theatre: there are about 4 men in the audience. There was a freaking FANFICTION contest, and I had to sit through teens-middle aged ladies reading their fan fic. The one that won ended with Edward telling Bella he went vegan, or some nonsense.

Oh my god, that sounds terrible/excruciating/hilarious/awesome? I don't even know. All of those things.

[FaustianSlip]

Okay, I like pale and lanky as much as the next girl (I mean, every time I watch M*A*S*H I'm crushing away on Hawkeye Pierce, and a tower of tanned muscle, he is not), but Pattinson is just... no. Not attractive. He was kind of cute when he was Cedric, but now he's just... blegh.

Has anyone seen the Rifftrax commentaries of the movies? They're done by the same guys who did Mystery Science Theater, and while I've only seen the one for the first movie, it was awesome. I about wet myself laughing when I watched it on a long plane ride (after getting over my fears that someone would think that I was watching the Twilight movie just to, you know, watch the movie). I may actually get the others on Netflix solely to buy the Rifftrax and watch them. But yeah, the first movie, at least, was just awful.

Meanwhile, George Takei, bless him, has formed the Star Alliance, uniting Star Trek and Star Wars fans in their mutual opposition to all things Twilight. Right on, George.

[QueenSyd]

Well yeah he looks pale and weird in the Twilight movies and that is not a attractive, but I finally watched Water for Elephants last night and he looked yummmm.

[emeraldskull]

Robert Pattinson is sooo not attractive to me. Taylor Lautner is more so, but his eyes are too squinty... as was said above, he DOES look like an alpaca! LOL... I'm not really into the whole twilight thing, never was... maybe I'm just not "getting" 104 year old vampires in love with minors. :-P

My absolute FAVORITE review of twilight is on Cracked.com: http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

[Constance Vigilance]

I keep remembering the Taylor/alpaca thing while I'm just going about my daily life and taking giggling fits. It's so true.

[QueenSyd]

Oh, and Taylor Lautner...his voice squicks me out big time.

[blondezilla]

Thank you! I admit, I love the Twilight books (yeah, yeah, I know) but the movies just don't do it for me. Pattinson looks like a foot. He was kind of adorable in HP, but I've always fancied myself more of a Snape kinda girl. hehe I likes my men rugged...none of that metrosexual pretty boy nonsense.

[emeraldskull]

He was kind of adorable in HP, but I've always fancied myself more of a Snape kinda girl. hehe I likes my men rugged...none of that metrosexual pretty boy nonsense.

Mmmm, NOW we're talking! Snape is SOME kinda sexy... :-D :-D