True Feminity blog-anyone follow?

[browngrl]

Sooo, I posted a comment on her blog letting her know that I was the one who started this thread.. I hope I don't disappoint some of you to find that I actually agree with her in many respects.

I looked at the comments on the post to try and figure out who you were. I think you are "Ashley Joydana". Am I right?

edited because apparently I can't read

[masagoroll]

It weirds me out that she is literally such a mom WANNABE. She is taking prenatal vitamins, sewing diapers, and making freaking cloth wipes. Just where does she think this baby is going to come from?

It makes much more sense to give the best of your time and hard work to your children and your husband—not your boss or coworkers. Mothers have so much to offer, and it seems a pity their energy should be used up working on a career for a company that at the end of the day cares very little about them. Even having worked in an office with a good environment and people that I really liked, I knew that it was nothing to be compared to the atmosphere and the support I have at home.

She is just assuming so much. Not everyone works in a boring office doing meaningless work for a company. People work in academia, social services, and, in my case, teaching! People do jobs that are emotionally fulfilling and helpful to the world. Not to mention, some moms DO pull in tons of money and have high-powered jobs in the business world.

How nice to know that she was a nanny who was judging her charge's mother all the time for working...she sounds like a peach.

I do admire her carefree attitude in her response post to people snarking on her, but she is being silly to say we hate her. We don't hate her...a lot of us just think she's foolish and annoying. Big difference. It does look fun to make quilts, though. Do you need a sewing machine?

One more thing to laugh at--the description of this guest blogger on her blog! I am

Bambi has been married to her middle school crush for sixteen years. She and her husband have seven blessings, with one now being knitted in the womb. Bambi blogs about marriage, motherhood and family discipleship at her blog: In the Nursery of the Nation.

[Boogalou]

From commenter Ashley somethingorother:

I actually read that post about you last night in that particular...forum. It's basically just a bunch of people who look for conservative Christians to make fun of, it's actually a little sad but at the same time it's funny. They're just curious people I suppose. Let them have their fun because at the end of the day...We serve an almighty God and we're following His word and accomplishing what He wants us to do. No matter where we go in this world we're going to encounter persecution...wear it as a badge of honour! :)

P.s They all think you're pretty, so that's a plus (somewhat) lol

God Bless,

Ashley-Joy :)

There goes that persecution again! And also, God is for doilies and against feminism I suppose.

[Austin]

I must say I am astounded by this girls' know-it-all attitude! She writes of marriage and child rearing and the right way to do both and she is a 22 year old single girl with no kids! She is always reviewing books on how to be the Perfect Christian Wife and putting lace doilies and crap on her table tops. Also she showcases her modest outfit of the day. Some Duggarite type will be in heaven when they meet her.

Since this is Kdw's first post, it would seem she is playing both sides of the fence - lol.

I guess it's convenient when trolls just announce themselves as such.

[Kdw]

She has not posted my commented yet-maybe she won't. I told her that i was the one who started this thread and basically that she IS a feminist because she supports herself, speaks her mind and lives a life she chooses. Also that it would be Unchristian to suggest that God creates inferior products and that women are equal to men. I actually live a very "traditional" life as a mother of 5 since I stay home and work and my husband works outside of hhe home.

I apologized for the doily comment saying that I was frustrated that she acts as though her lifes work is to makenthings pretty for men and that God has much more in store for her than that. I also pointed out that being a mother is a far cry from what you think it will be like!

When I said I hope I don't disappoint anyone here, I meant as someone who has only posted a few times I didn't want to come across as someone who was anti-stay at home moms or any sort of traditional roles for women and then say something different in my comment on her page (which apparently she is not going to post)

[formergothardite]

So what do you agree with her about?

ETA: The way you wrote it it sounds like you are saying that you hope we aren't disapointed that you agree with her. Why would we be disapointed unless you were agreeing with her on some offensive things?

[Kdw]

I didn't want to "disappoint" you in the fact that I actually am a stay at home mom living a traditional role, and a Christian, when so many posters here seems to be anti-religion altogether and might not like that I stay home versus "working" .

What I agree with her about is that being a wife and mother IS a wonderful thing to be valued and revered. :)

[emmiedahl]

I am willing to bet that half of this board is religious, maybe more. Probably about a quarter either are or have been a SAHM. Obviously you did not read too far.

[Witsec7]

I didn't want to "disappoint" you in the fact that I actually am a stay at home mom living a traditional role, and a Christian, when so many posters here seems to be anti-religion altogether and might not like that I stay home versus "working" .

Have you read here much?

If you do you'll find that the large majority of us feel feminism is about women making choices.

she says sneaking off to get the popcorn cart

[Kdw]

I haven't read too much, but got the feeling from some of the posts that after fundie upbringings a lot of posters had sour feelings about religion. I agree that feminism is about Choice and Respect. I choose to be a stay at home mom and my husband respects me very much. And I respect MYSELF even more.

[Aurora]

It weirds me out that she is literally such a mom WANNABE. She is taking prenatal vitamins, sewing diapers, and making freaking cloth wipes. Just where does she think this baby is going to come from?

She is just assuming so much. Not everyone works in a boring office doing meaningless work for a company. People work in academia, social services, and, in my case, teaching! People do jobs that are emotionally fulfilling and helpful to the world. Not to mention, some moms DO pull in tons of money and have high-powered jobs in the business world.

+1. Does she not see how illogical this argument is? If this were true, why wouldn't it apply to fathers as well? Why should they have to use their energy working for a company that doesn't care about them?

Oh, and re her argument about women only making minimum wage and therefore it not being worthwhile to work: I worked hard to get my education, and now make much more than minimum wage, thank you very much. (Where did she learn this stuff? Verbatim from her parents?)

[Witsec7]

I really do hope none of her prospective employers read her blog. Her negative view of working women could impact her ability to obtain employment as a nanny.

[Kdw]

I thought that same thing myself PP. And if she is so stressed out after nannying that she cant cook dinner for 2hours how is she actually going to be with her children all day long and then feed them without having a break?

[nutella addict]

I thought that same thing myself PP. And if she is so stressed out after nannying that she cant cook dinner for 2hours how is she actually going to be with her children all day long and then feed them without having a break?

This.

This is what I want to know. I work with children as well, and while sometimes I am tired after, I have NEVER needed 2 hours break. I don't understand how she thinks motherhood will be easier than nannying? I mean I'm not a mother myself, but really? Love, if you can't handle part of the day without being exhausted, how will you handle 24/7?

Oh, and, for the record, I am actually a Christian, and I love children and want as many as I can have *responsibly*, and if financially I can afford to stay home and that would be most beneficial to the family, then I would, happily. As it is, there's a good chance I'll be making more than my future husband, provided I finish my education properly, in which case it wouldn't make all that much sense. I appreciate my *choice* in these matters. If that makes me a heathen anti-Christian feminist, then I guess I have a wildly different interpretation of the Bible. Most of this forum is NOT what the people we snark on seem to think it is, alas.

[formergothardite]

I haven't read too much, but got the feeling from some of the posts that after fundie upbringings a lot of posters had sour feelings about religion. I agree that feminism is about Choice and Respect. I choose to be a stay at home mom and my husband respects me very much. And I respect MYSELF even more.

I think most of the sour feelings are towards crazy fundie religions. I'm Christian and a SAHM. I don't know why people always think this board is full of people who are anti-SAHM and hate Christians. People here have a pretty much live and let live philosophy I have found, but that clashes with fundies who think everyone has to do things their way are they are going to hell.

[Austin]

I think most of the sour feelings are towards crazy fundie religions. I'm Christian and a SAHM. I don't know why people always think this board is full of people who are anti-SAHM and hate Christians. People here have a pretty much live and let live philosophy I have found, but that clashes with fundies who think everyone has to do things their way are they are going to hell.

Clearly you (Kdw) didn't read too much. Many of us are or have been SAHMs and I've not taken a poll, but at least half of the board are practicing a faith of some kind or another, largely Christian. We have sour feelings about patriarchy. Get a clue.

[Kdw]

Sheesh, Austin. Excuse me for not being all-knowing about every poster on this board! I really don't know what in the world I did to piss you off. I have been 100% honest and am not a troll or shit-stirrer in your words.

In my initial post on the Lilpeasinmypod thread I explained that I found this board in following her. Then the Duggars made their announcement and the reading was very interesting here. I do enjoy reading Christian mom blogs, but ones like True Feminity make me nuts with the self-superiority attitude and thought this would be an interesting place to discuss.

[Soldevi]

When they mock other people, they are speaking words of wisdom with graceful attitude.

When we mock them, we are saying horrible things with pure hate.

And THEY are the ones who should preach about love and truth. Yet post after post they tell how they don't want others to live their life in peace and happiness and how they are persecuted when they tell their opinions oftentimes in a very hateful way. Oh, and the lack of source critisism...I'd like to see some original thinking sometimes.

Hate speech isn't any more acceptable when you throw God or Bible verse in it. And please, stop telling others how full of grace they are when they wish unhappiness to other people. Full of hypocritical shite, I say, not grace.

[ohpotteryourotter]

I think I'm one of the more optimistic people on this forum, lol.

I have hope for her yet. Unlike Lina, who is way too prideful to ever admit defeat, this girl.....what is her name?.....will one day find out the reality and I'm confident she is humble enough to admit the error of her ways.

It seems she doesn't have much first-hand experience with fundies and I can totally see her start using birth control after her first or second kid.

I think she doesn't fit in with others her age where she lives and wants to rebel, which is fine, but she's doing it a tad extremely. Like I said, she'll come around.

[Kdw]

I am irritated that she hasn't posted my comment, but is posting all of her supporters saying "I can't believe anyone would hate you". I wonder if it's because I clearly stated that I don't hate her? Hmmm.......

[Annette]

I think the diapers are for an etsy store, not a personal stash.

[formergothardite]

For all the lurkers who are commenting on her blog, we don't snark homemakers, a good chunk of us are. We snark people who think that everyone has to live like they do or they are doing it wrong. No, reading her blog isn't going to bring me closer to God or make me rethink my life. I think she is silly and a crappy nanny who should have been fired for talking bad about the parents of the child she cared for.

[Boogalou]

It is shocking that there is not a single negative comment there! I think sometimes bloggers post these "oh woe is me" posts just to drum up some sympathy. Poor her, persecuted by the doily hating feminists who hate housewives (of which, the woman from true femininity is not). I did enjoy this comment though:

It seems to me that while they may not currently share your views, there is at least a small chance that some of them, having had the opportunity to reflect on the contents of your blogs, may in time come to realize that there is much goodness to commend them and, in particular, that your principled objections to feminism should be adopted, rather than ridiculed.

AH YES! Feminsim is TEH EBIL!!!!!! I see it so clearly now, thanks to those "principled objections":

1. Our culture is dominated by feminism

2. There is rarely anything in the media today that would be insulting to a woman

3. As Proverbs 19:11 says, "it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."

4. The Feminist movement was rebellious and shockingly indecent to the society of its time. *Dies from the indecency of pants*

5. Words like "slave" and "servant" have negative connotations (no shit) but women need to be them to her husband.

Good bye feminism, hello true femininity! I have seen th elight :chores-laundry:

[anonymous girl]

Hello everyone.

I found out about this forum as I kind of follow Tiffany's blog. I know her personally (I won't say how so she doesn't figure out who I am), and I actually have hoped for a time that she would be able to see how others view her. I am a Christian myself, and I have always been really afraid that people would see her blog and think that all Christians are stupid and judgmental. And the people that comment on her blog posts.... sooo annoying, and so misguided.

You guys, I feel, handled everything generally well. She is very patronizing and extremely judgmental. She has been to me, too. I have to say though that I cringed at many of the things that you guys said, because I cant help but feel bad for her. She was homeschooled all of her life, then went to a sheltered Christian school and really did not associate with anyone other than her close-knit group of friends. She now lives at home. Her parents aren't actually of the same mind that she is- for some reason she just really clung to slightly fundamentalist ways of thinking. She has been sheltered her whole life. I know she is giving advice on things she doesn't know about first hand, and she may go a bit far in the way she presents it, but at least she is trying to be prepared.

A lot of you were very nice, but knowing her and trying to be careful myself not to hurt her feelings while still disagreeing with her on MANY points, I just want you to keep in mind that she is a human! Saying things like she is waiting for an immaculate conception is just really hurtful, I would imagine. Or saying that she looks like she is 32. I would be a hypocrite to say that it is wrong to look at her blog for a bit of entertainment sometimes, but keep in mind she is a person with feelings, and you are posting things online where she can see them.

I just want to clear a few things up, for her sake.

(1) Although she has a very interesting, old-fashioned sense of style, this is truly her style. It has nothing to do with her faith, and she is not trying to say that any modern forms of decorating are bad. She really just likes antiquey, old fashioned things.

(2) She does not only wear skirts. I really think she is just trying to not scare off her fan-base, many of whom probably think that wearing pants is immodest. She takes a better safe than sorry route on this.

(3) She takes pre-natals solely for hair and nail purposes. I have known her a long time, and she has always wanted longer, healthier hair. She heard that pre-natals can help (which I have heard too), and that is why she started taking them.

(4) She is not making cloth diapers to store up for her future children. She sells them on etsy.

(5) She is not dying to get married and have children. Many people have come along that have been interested in her, but she has turned them down. She is not desperate.

(6) She is not courting because of religious beliefs. She is not against dating. She would date someone, but it just so happens the guy she is with believes in courting. She dated someone for like 4 years before they broke up and she met this new guy.

(7)She has come a long way, which some of you alluded to. And I think she will keep becoming more open minded.

For some reason, I just really felt like I needed to post this. Sorry it was long and drawn out. I guess my take away points are that she does come across (and may very well be) judgmental, and I agree with that. But please, just try not to exaggerate things, and try to remember she is a human being and just because you aren't saying things to her face doesn't mean they won't be hurtful to her or stay with her for a long time.

I guess I just hope that if people were saying things like this about me I would want someone to stand up for me, too. :)

[anonymous girl]

Hello everyone.

I found out about this forum as I kind of follow Tiffany's blog. I know her personally (I won't say how so she doesn't figure out who I am), and I actually have hoped for a time that she would be able to see how others view her. I am a Christian myself, and I have always been really afraid that people would see her blog and think that all Christians are stupid and judgmental. And the people that comment on her blog posts.... sooo annoying, and so misguided.

You guys, I feel, handled everything generally well. She is very patronizing and extremely judgmental. She has been to me, too. I have to say though that I cringed at many of the things that you guys said, because I cant help but feel bad for her. She was homeschooled all of her life, then went to a sheltered Christian school and really did not associate with anyone other than her close-knit group of friends. She now lives at home. Her parents aren't actually of the same mind that she is- for some reason she just really clung to slightly fundamentalist ways of thinking. She has been sheltered her whole life. I know she is giving advice on things she doesn't know about first hand, and she may go a bit far in the way she presents it, but at least she is trying to be prepared.

A lot of you were very nice, but knowing her and trying to be careful myself not to hurt her feelings while still disagreeing with her on MANY points, I just want you to keep in mind that she is a human! Saying things like she is waiting for an immaculate conception is just really hurtful, I would imagine. Or saying that she looks like she is 32. I would be a hypocrite to say that it is wrong to look at her blog for a bit of entertainment sometimes, but keep in mind she is a person with feelings, and you are posting things online where she can see them.

I just want to clear a few things up, for her sake.

(1) Although she has a very interesting, old-fashioned sense of style, this is truly her style. It has nothing to do with her faith, and she is not trying to say that any modern forms of decorating are bad. She really just likes antiquey, old fashioned things.

(2) She does not only wear skirts. I really think she is just trying to not scare off her fan-base, many of whom probably think that wearing pants is immodest. She takes a better safe than sorry route on this.

(3) She takes pre-natals solely for hair and nail purposes. I have known her a long time, and she has always wanted longer, healthier hair. She heard that pre-natals can help (which I have heard too), and that is why she started taking them.

(4) She is not making cloth diapers to store up for her future children. She sells them on etsy.

(5) She is not dying to get married and have children. Many people have come along that have been interested in her, but she has turned them down. She is not desperate.

(6) She is not courting because of religious beliefs. She is not against dating. She would date someone, but it just so happens the guy she is with believes in courting. She dated someone for like 4 years before they broke up and she met this new guy.

(7)She has come a long way, which some of you alluded to. And I think she will keep becoming more open minded.

For some reason, I just really felt like I needed to post this. Sorry it was long and drawn out. I guess my take away points are that she does come across (and may very well be) judgmental, and I agree with that. But please, just try not to exaggerate things, and try to remember she is a human being and just because you aren't saying things to her face doesn't mean they won't be hurtful to her or stay with her for a long time.

I guess I just hope that if people were saying things like this about me I would want someone to stand up for me, too. :)