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Getting kicked out at 18...


BlondeAgent007

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I left voluntarily at 18. Actually, I moved out like two days after I graduated high school. Moved ten hours away to live with the man that's now my husband. Didn't even get the dorm experience -- we rented a little apartment just off campus. I'd been working full-time juggling two/three jobs on top of going to school since I was sixteen. My mom was driving me nuts. I really needed to get out.

I had a few friends whose parents really seemed to want them out of the house when university-time came, with the dorm experience being the next step in a gradual progression to living on their own. Said parents also paid for part of/all of the university education.

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My parents made me move away to college at 20 because I was enjoying myself entirely too much at home and not getting on with my life. They supported me when I went away to school.

My husband and his parents both agree that letting him live at home was not, long term, wise.

(but they liked having him, he liked being there...it was win win in lots of aspects.)

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My parents made me move away to college at 20 because I was enjoying myself entirely too much at home and not getting on with my life. They supported me when I went away to school.

My brother, who is 47, is currently living with my elderly parents due to his long-term unemployment. This is a huge benefit to me, because otherwise I would be going crazy trying to deal with two elderly people and their myriad health problems as well as work my job.

JimBoob and J'chelle seem to think that people who are not like them don't have families, I think.

I think that may be the very source of their BS. Their family is a real family and all families not like them hate each other and don't care about each other and do not value family.

My 36 year old cousin moved in with his mom & step-dad when he got a divorce. Financially, it was the best thing for him as he went through the process of divorcing and everyone coming to a new normal, including his ex wife and their kids. My aunt, his mom, has also been battling cancer for almost four years and while she was in a relatively healthy place when he first moved back in, she is now nearing the end. It's been an ugly, scary, painful thing for everyone. My cousin stayed when she got sick again instead of moving out as initially planned when things in his life got settled. He is now with her every day after work and does a lot to take care of her and the house and help his step-dad. Overall, all three of them are helping each other out, because of need and because they are family and that's what family does.

This cousin initially moved out, by his own choice, at the age of 22. Yes, he chose to stay with his mom for four whole years after turning 18 and his mom did not force him to leave. He didn't go to college, he worked. His mom remarried and was moving, he was given the option of moving with her and her new husband. He decided the time was right to go it on his own and he did.

Take that, Duggars. My heathen family loves and cares about and supports each other, without force or manipulation.

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Only one of my stepchildren left at 18, but he had a full-ride scholarship to Cal Poly that covered his dorm and food and such.

My stepdaughter lived at home and went to community college while saving for university. She now has a degree. The next youngest lived at home and worked while taking part-time college classes. He moved out when his car was paid off and the right roommate situation came along. The youngest stepchild did basically the same thing; he paid off his car and built a pretty popular gaming blog while working and going to school. My oldest child (who is a few years younger than my youngest stepchild) plans to do the same as my stepdaughter: to go to community college and live at home while saving for university.

The only parents I know who kicked their kids out either paid for them to go to a university or kicked them out because of undesirable behavior.

I should add that my two younger stepsons have moved back home and then out again a few times each. Our doors are always open for our kids. I don't think that is unusual. My rule is that they have to be doing something good for themselves, not laying around all day. I am more than willing to help out a kid who needs it. My parents let me live at home for a while after my break-up with my oldest son's father as well. I paid rent and did my share of the housekeeping, but it was nice just not to come home to an empty house.

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I grew up with a lot of kids who got kicked out at 18/graduation, whichever came sooner. Usually they had step-parents, but not always - I think the "once you're 18 you're an adult, out of my house, grow up, join the Army if you can't think of anything else" idea is pretty strong in some areas/social groups.

It's not everywhere, and it's gotten weaker in the last few years for sure, but the last time JimBoob and Mullet had contact with the real world was in ARKANSAS in, what, 1980? I'm sure it was rampant then/there.

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It's just threatening them basically. If you DON'T follow what I say.. you're going to be KICKED out!

Also, it's a justification to the public why the kids stay at home versus moving out before being married for not having to say: " I like having them under control".

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I don't doubt the girls in particular are constantly told horror stories about what happens to unprotected young ladies out in the big, bad, world and reminded how grateful they should be to remain under Daddy's guidance protection.

As I was trolling the Pearl videos yesterday, I came across this classic.

If you wear a sleeveless blouse to the gas station, expect to become a victim of human slave trafficking. Now get back to ironing my shirts....

Oh my god!!!!!! :o :o :o wtf?

"Truckers are big traffickers..." :twisted:

"grunge down" :roll:

If you wear a sleeveless blouse to the gas station, expect to become a victim of human slave trafficking. Now get back to ironing my shirts...
when you said that, I was laughing my head off because I thought you were being sarcastic. I hadn't had my innocence shattered watching the video yet and didn't know that it was pretty much a direct quote, just summing up the message!. wow!!! :lol:
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I grew up with a lot of kids who got kicked out at 18/graduation, whichever came sooner. Usually they had step-parents, but not always - I think the "once you're 18 you're an adult, out of my house, grow up, join the Army if you can't think of anything else" idea is pretty strong in some areas/social groups.

I think you are right about stepparents. Shortly after I turned 18, the landlord of the house my mom rented for very cheap for the last two decades or so passed away, and the new landlord wanted the house for himself, to eventually flip and sell for a huge profit (typical gentrifying neighborhood). I was legally an adult, I was head over heels in love with Evil Ex, and my mom had also started seeing someone, so we decided to go separate ways. By the time I found out the ex was violent, my mom was living in a tiny 1-bedroom apartment with her boyfriend. Same thing for my dad and his new wife. None of them had the space to take me back, especially since I had pets I was very attached to and refused to part with.

Recently, a 19-year-old girl on my Facebook said she couldn't get along with her mom anymore, and that she wanted to move out. She is my mom's best friend's daughter. I wrote her a lenghty message about how, looking back, I wish I had stayed home longer, even if I was just angry at my mom when I was that age. Plus, her parents are still together and own their house, she has a whole basement for herself, so she is way more comfortable than I was in the small 2-bedroom townhouse I shared with my mom. I told her that it is never easy to live with your parents when you are a young adult, but it's an investment for the future: you can go to school without having to worry about bills to pay, have relationships without fear of being homeless if the guy turns out to be a violent douchenozzle, etc.

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My parents would be a Duggar Paradox. They were what I'd qualify as "fundie-lite" during my last years of high school, but the woman who adopted me at 13 after my mother died had already raised 3 girls and my dad deferred to her as the go-to person.

Because she didn't graduate from high school, she had the attitude that if you wanted ANYTHING in life (car/insurance, college), you had to earn it, parents be damned. My dad, who had a master's degree, basically forgot all the work it took to get it and turned his back on education like a lot of members of his political party do today. The parents gave my brother support only because his learning disabilities were finally addressed when he was around 12 and they shipped him off to private schools once the Christian school attached to their church failed to provide adequate education for him. But I just floated around without guidance, taking college prep classes, but with no help on college apps, tax records or even money for the SAT when I was between jobs and broke.

All five of us got luggage and an ultimatum for our 18th birthdays (even my brother, who was a year behind in school). We had a month to decide whether to stay home, pay rent, work or go to school - had to do both to afford rent - AND abide by their rules, which included curfews and church attendance. They made it virtually impossible for anyone to stay including my sisters, who were raised in a secular household once my mother left Catholicism when they were in middle school.

I pretty much hit the "glass ceiling" in terms of what I could do in the job market since I refused to compromise myself and go into sales, so that's why I'm in school in my 40's. I need a degree to be a fucking secretary around these parts, but I'm getting my master's in education. My dad was alive to see me get my acceptance letter to his alma mater, but my mother died before I went back to school. He was proud of me (and I'm ironically using the money he left me to finance my education, beyond what grants give me, so I don't have to work like most students do today), but I think my mother would be seriously jealous. After all, I edited her writing from ages 12-17; she was a smart lady, but man her writing was abysmal.

So what does Boob do with the fact that religious people threw their two youngest out into the big bad world with little preparation (thank heavens I worked at a bank and was already mature beyond my years...my brother, not so much) and no education - my brother never even got his GED. Nice Christian parental support there, eh boss?

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