Jinger's 18th birthday... the countdown!

[annalena]

I really think their only shot is Susanna, if they wanted to leave.

[darkplumaged]

I don't envision any of the older kids making a sudden, radical break with fundieism. Instead, I think some of them will fall away gradually, after they've gotten married and been away from home for a while. (Assuming they actually leave home and don't spend the rest of their days on the Duggar compound.)

It's really anyone's guess with the younger kids. JB and Michelle will be in their 60s by the time J20 is 18; it's hard to imagine they'll have the energy to enforce the rules for another 19 years. It's also hard to imagine they'll supervise another 19 courtships to the degree they did Josh's.

I actually don't see JB and Michelle as Maxwell-style control freaks. I think they're gullible and naive, prone to being snowed by anyone who speaks their language. I think JB could very easily be tricked into accepting potential spouses who won't toe the Gothard line--as long as they say all the right things before the wedding.

[marmalade]

I totally agree. The J'Slaves don't have anyone to help them break free. On one thread here, someone menionted if Deanna or Amy would help the girls leave home or break out of the lifestyle and I honestly don't see Deanna or Amy helping the girls out. I think they would fear a conflict with JB. Mary won't help either. The J'Slaves in some ways are behind other young women that are their same ages. Jana is 21 with no work experience outside the home. Some young women her name age have had jobs for 3-6 years. I do wonder if the J'Slaves ever have their own spending money or have some idea of how to write checks and stuff like that.

Someone wrote a great article over at Recovering Grace about the crippling effect of "sibling as best friend." Sadly, it's yet another mechanism built into the cult system that makes it that much more difficult to flee.

I think they'd have to go the Razing Ruth route and flee out of state, maybe to Michelle's relatives in Ohio? Teh ghey sister would be awesome irony. Yeah, it would be a year before they could get in-state tuition at a community college, but a girl could teach music to Christian homeschooled kids or babysit for money while she gets a tutor to get her abilities up to snuff so she doesn't spend 4 years at CC like Ruth did before she could go to "real" college. With the price of college now, a lot of kids are going to CC for their GC credits as it is.

I say "she" because I doubt any of the older boys (until Josiah) will bolt; Boob has enough businesses for the oldest three (I see Joseph as a roving handyman for both brothers and Boob, who is working less and less these days). I don't see Josiah as the mechanical or salesman type at all, so that pretty much takes him out of daddy's "ministry" of businesses. As much as I'd love to see Jinger make a break for it, no one is going anywhere until the show is canceled and the spotlight is off them a bit.

Hell, if the rumors are true about the two Keller kids left at home, the ATI retention rate in that family will only be 25% (2/8) and one of those is staying for money.

[3 is enough]

Hell, if the rumors are true about the two Keller kids left at home, the ATI retention rate in that family will only be 25% (2/8) and one of those is staying for money.

Haven't heard that rumour. Please share!

[lilwriter85]

As for the two Keller kids, Susannah left home and moved to Texas. I believe she lives with Rebekah. Daniel the son got out of the ATI/Gothard lifestyle and he doesn't act as headship over his wife.

[marmalade]

Haven't heard that rumour. Please share!

I think Daniel, who seems genuinely angry at the parents, hinted something about his brothers (I think one is approaching legal age and didn't realize Suze was only 19!) on FB a while back. I want to say it was around the time when the big blowup happened and they scrubbed alot of posts and went private for a while.

Those boys have something the Duggars don't; a safe haven who will back them up they choose to leave. The Duggars would have to create a network, but limiting their communications (unless someone can pull an aunt aside during a visit and work out details). I'm sure the Duggars limit ALL calls, emails and texts made from electronic devices that they pay for. When the Duggar kids were supposedly texting in the hospital when Jason was injured, who's to know they weren't playing games? Who can they text without supervision, even JD/Jana/Jill? Hell, Smuggar couldn't talk with Anna without a chaperone until their wedding night and the Bates kid has every text inspected by the parents.

What a way to live. :confusion-helpsos:

[muffynbear]

I can see Josiah leaving the compound and maybe Jill. Jessa, I think enjoys being a fundie princess and daddy's girl but at the same time, if Jessa were a "normal, non fundie" young lady, I think she would be a party animal . I don't know about Jinger, she's hard to read sometimes.

[annalena]

Jill? Really? I can't see Jill leave at hall.

i'm saying GO HANNIE! ..but this will take a while.

[Patsy]

I only associate countdowns like this (from outsiders, I mean) with really creepy men's magazines :(

I don't think she's going to suddenly make a break for it.

[annalena]

Oh yeah, I once saw one "120 days till Olsen twins are legal!" Not necessary to mention it was a while ago. :)

I mean we can all hope and stuff, but fact is, no one has left so far and Jessa has been 18 for a while.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Nobody's leaving if they want money..... Plus who knows where they'll get to go this year? She couldn't have gone to Europe on her own! Travel might just be worth a few more years at home!

[Guest LilaFowler]

None of the older kids will leave. They've been too brainwashed. Maybe from Jed/Jer on down, some of them will leave, but that's highly doubtful.

[MissSeptember]

Does being 18 mean anything to fundies? Do they know that 18 means they can do whatever they want? Their parents certainly aren't going to tell them what 18 means, so do they even realize they are now adults, and free?

18 to the rest of us means we can vote, buy cigarettes, get tattoos and piercings, buy lottery tickets, quit school, join the military, etc. I feel like most of those things mean nothing to fundies since they don't want (anyone) to do them anyway. Is turning 18 a big deal for them? My mom cried when I turned 18 (tears of joy and sadness).

Any former fundies care to share what turning 18 meant in their families?

[lilwriter85]

None of the older kids will leave. They've been too brainwashed. Maybe from Jed/Jer on down, some of them will leave, but that's highly doubtful.

I'm kind of thinking the same thing about the older kids. Josh probably won't leave the fundie lifestyle because he likes that he is a celebrity in the fundie world.

[annalena]

Josh? NEVER! He's all sorted and set!

No, it has to be one of the younger older ones (does that make sense?).

Actually, being 18 didn't mean I could get piercings. My father "forbid" me. When I was 19, I had my belly button pierced. He was acting like I had sold drugs or something and didn't talk to me for three days.

[Mythicwings]

:lol: annalena - did he ever get over it?

When I turned 18, it meant I could vote. That's pretty much it. That and a background disappointment (from my mother) that I wasn't engaged to anyone yet. The thought that it meant I could move out wasn't part of the picture.

[xReems]

I don't see Jinger, or any of the older ones for that matter, leaving the compound anytime soon. They were raised to fear the evil and secular world and that straying away would lead to destroying your life with drugs and alcohol. Even if they wanted to get up and go, the fear is going to get the best of them. I'm sure JB and J'chelle give their children the "option" to leave home and be independent, but it would not surprise me if they do the whole "Well, you can leave if you want but..." talk with them so they end up choosing living at home.

[annalena]

:lol: annalena - did he ever get over it?

Actually, he didn't. Funny thing, all three of his daughters have nipple piercings, too (TMI, I know, sorry) and only my "rebellious" sister, who never really cared about my parent's opinon, let them know.

He was convinced she had chose a wrong path in life and was destroying herself. Quote: "My children don't have holes stapled into their bodies". Like, they have healthy bodies and all, why destroy them?

He actually left the room, shaking is had in disapproval.

[PBrooke]

Jessa is vey headstrong, and set up about as well as a fundie girl could be, so I think the worst thing to her right now would be to be proven wrong, if that makes sense. She's going to defend her way of life fiercely, at least for now. Jill, on the other hand, has boatloads of compassion and seems a bit more like a follower, so I could see her being shaped simply by knowing different people. Remember how attached she was to that girl from el salvadore? Imagine if that girl hadn't been willing to convert, and they had real conversations about it. Plus being in the medical field could theoretically help.

[annalena]

Jessa is vey headstrong, and set up about as well as a fundie girl could be, so I think the worst thing to her right now would be to be proven wrong, if that makes sense. She's going to defend her way of life fiercely, at least for now. Jill, on the other hand, has boatloads of compassion and seems a bit more like a follower, so I could see her being shaped simply by knowing different people. Remember how attached she was to that girl from el salvadore? Imagine if that girl hadn't been willing to convert, and they had real conversations about it. Plus being in the medical field could theoretically help.

If she had a real degree!

[JenniferJuniper]

I'm inclined to agree about Jill. She's clearly much less a material girl than Jessa and Jinger and her sweet nature seems to make her more open towards other people. And being more open towards others could evolve into her become more open to their different ideas.

[jesusfreak]

I wonder if those over 18 keep their own passport/birth certificate/etc. If they have to ask their parents for those, simply leaving wouldn't be as easy or convenient.

[gilora]

Jill is a sweet woman, but undereducated and not too bright. She won't leave the compound unless Jim

Bob lets her marry.

Edited for grammar.

[tabitha2]

None of those females are geniuses nor are they intellectually curious let alone prone to self introspection.

[Mythicwings]

We can't know that about the girls. There could be genius in there that isn't allowed to be explored. If genius or intellectual curiosity is there, it is numbed by the constant repression of any sort of questioning, lack of real answers to any questions, or the SEVERE lack of encouragement to explore the answers for themselves since exploration = finding Satan. Please don't give up on the abilities of these kids, the chances are there are some bright ones in there whose brains are squashed with spiritual formaldehyde :( What do you think happens being raised like that, then sent to training camp? They weren't born like that.