christian sexual awkwardness

[doggie]

I have always had sensitive breasts. Whenever my nipples are touched, even indirectly, I jump back kinda startled. It's not something I control. I let my husband kiss and touch my breasts, careful to avoid my nipples. Occasionally, if I feel up to it, I let him gently suck them. It's a special thing I do for him because I choose to.

I

my wife is the same way but only with my mouth. I have suffered greatly for 25 years but I have survived. She does not like to kiss either and that's most of it the moisture is what gets her I think. it's all about give and take in a relationship. no perfect ones out there.

[fundyfunland]

A lot of boys in my ninth grade health class had that reaction. The teacher was really into showing photos and not diagrams. A ninth grade boy has seen the groomed and "pretty" female parts in porn and Western art, but not the full unshaven adult body part. The difference is that most American boys see a real one and get over it before they are actually on their honeymoon.

So true. I was the same way when I was in high school & fondled my first penis. I was like, "yuck." But, I also thought OS from someone was gross too, because I guess I was ashamed of my netherbits - most likely from my Catholic upbringing. Needless to say, I got over all of this....very quickly! :D

[aubrietta]

It is insane how stressed out they all over the first time. I was raised all chastity-worshiping, my dad had my viginity pledge and the whole shebang, but I slept with my boyfriend when I was 18. We'd been dating for two months or so. We had kissed but I had put the brakes on anything more than that because of my guilt. One day I decided to just get over it by having sex, and so we did. There had been lots of foreplay and the sex was great. It didn't hurt and I had an orgasm. Maybe I'm an oddity? My experience has caused me to not really buy the impossibility of going from zero to sixty and enjoying it, because I did, but can certainly see that not being the case for everyone.

Several years later, I had a boyfriend who was hung like a dude in a porn flick. Sex was so painful because he was so enormous that I actually broke up with him - it wasn't only because of that, but I wasn't that into him and I just really, really didn't want to sleep with him anymore because I'd be so sore, so I kind of get the not being able to walk thing, but I've had quite a few partners, and he was the only one that was like that, so I don't get how the entire message board can be full of oversized cocks and super-tight twats. I just don't buy it.

I re-converted to conservative Christianity after several years of liberation (aka rebellion) and met and married a man in my church. We didn't have sex until our wedding night. He had a bit of performance anxiety, but really not much a problem and it certainly didn't last, and the night was sweet and tender all lovely, and thanks to five months of heavy petting in the back seat of his car during our engagement (we didn't kiss until we got engaged) I had an orgasm on our wedding night without a problem. I was SO ready to get into his pants, there was certainly no way it was going to take us five days or three days or even until the next morning to consummate our marriage!

I'm pretty convinced that all these marriage bed message board guys are absolute assholes. Sometimes I don't want my boobs touched, or my neck touched or whatever, and you just re-direct. In my experience, the guys I've been with are a bit like puppies, or three year olds, it's not hard to distract them to something else, and if they are reasonably decent human beings, they get the drift and move on, they don't need to post on message boards whining about not enough boob access, they just played nice and we all had a good time. Isn't that was good, loving sex is about?

[lawfulevil]

I bled off and on for at least the first year, but I had a resilient hymen, I think... at least considering all the trouble with tampons. My best friend's brother and his long-time girlfriend had to have sex in the shower for the first year because she bled so much, poor thing, but she was into it!

I still occasionally bleed and get sore from particularly enthusiastic relations, but it's not bothersome in the moment.

It just isn't that big a deal, I suppose.

[alphaeta08]

Which one? Link please?

This... interesting submission :

I lovingly followed her to the bathroom and what an overwhelming joy when shared as she felt a blob drop off her body into the closet.It was the bleeding remains of the membrane which she had so carefully guarded her chastity for many years, but was no longer required now that she had exchanged the vows to share all she had with the love of her life.It was this culprit that had held us back this five days from ravishing the full experience of marital intimacy.

It's a bit much, to say the least. :|

[desertvixen]

so I don't get how the entire message board can be full of oversized cocks and super-tight twats. I just don't buy it.

I'm going to pick "Wishful Thinking With Regards To Size" for $200, please.

I'm pretty convinced that all these marriage bed message board guys are absolute assholes. Sometimes I don't want my boobs touched, or my neck touched or whatever, and you just re-direct. In my experience, the guys I've been with are a bit like puppies, or three year olds, it's not hard to distract them to something else, and if they are reasonably decent human beings, they get the drift and move on, they don't need to post on message boards whining about not enough boob access, they just played nice and we all had a good time. Isn't that was good, loving sex is about?

I think part of the problem is that they see themselves as locked to this one partner for the rest of their lives, and she is the only sexual partner they have had or will have. Yes, the idea of marriage lasting forever is wonderful (I support it, and would like that for my second marriage) but that's why the test drive is so damned important.

[Austin]

Not only did it NOT hurt (although I bled a little), I actually had to ask if he was in yet.

Words no guy ever wants to hear

[Annette]

This thread makes me sad: http://www.boards.themarriagebed.com/vi ... 70&t=51512

I mean, has this guy never met his right hand?!

[doggie]

This thread makes me sad: http://www.boards.themarriagebed.com/vi ... 70&t=51512

I mean, has this guy never met his right hand?!

that's bad. really bad. I know the right hand would feel better then a woman who does not want it. But if hubby does not really care about what his wife is feeling he will enjoy it regardless.

Where does the man needs release every 72 hours crap come from? that may be when I get really old but not yet. I don't think it is release she is talking about but sex. like I said where did this 72 hour crap come from. what there is a clock ticking down and if he does not get it every 72 hours he turns into a werewolf or what?

[moreorlessnu]

Ditto to whomever said these posts read like erotic fiction.

Can you imagine the wife reading these (fabricated) posts, and thinking her husband is sleeping w/ someone else behind her back?

[StarrieEyedKat]

Can you imagine the wives reading these posts about VERY personal bedroom information? I would slaughter my husband if he went and posted on the web about my preferences on nipple sucking. :roll:

[AnnoDomini]

It's so sad seeing all the posts (so far) telling the wife that she's at fault, guilting her and telling her she just needs to give him what he wants. This post was especially egregious:

Sex should be looked at as a job, or duty, despite the fact that it can be an enjoyable one. Life is all about doing things that you don't want to, but you need to because you're a responsible adult. I often don't feel like going to work for whatever reason, but I do it because I have to. What happens when you don't don't feel like showering? Do you walk around funky all day or do you suck it up and deal with it? Sometimes I don't feel like being affectionate to my wife, or talking with her, or shopping with her, but it's important to her and I love her enough to make of important to me.

Sex is God's greatest gift to husbands and wives, aside from salvation, and deprivation is not Godly. In fact, deprivation breeds resentment.

Ya know what else breeds resentment, asshole? Constantly giving sex to one's demanding husband even though she don't want it and he knows it!

[CanadianHippie]

Ditto to whomever said these posts read like erotic fiction.

Can you imagine the wife reading these (fabricated) posts, and thinking her husband is sleeping w/ someone else behind her back?

To be honest, I do think a higher than normal percentage of the posters on that board are just doing it to get their jollies.

[lovefromgirl]

Are all of these men's wives 4'11" and 95 pounds? Are all of these men over 6' tall and well-built?

I mean, I can totally understand where there's *cough* a major size discrepancy. If his erect penis is the same size as your wrist (or, gulp, larger), yeah, PIV's going to be interesting. (And no, Google, it's not always freaking vaginismus.) But statistically speaking, some of these people must fall into the "average" category, not to mention "within a foot of each other in height".

[Witsec7]

Everyone on that forum types with one hand.

[doggie]

It's so sad seeing all the posts (so far) telling the wife that she's at fault, guilting her and telling her she just needs to give him what he wants. This post was especially egregious:

Ya know what else breeds resentment, asshole? Constantly giving sex to one's demanding husband even though she don't want it and he knows it!

The whole sex is a job thing. I bet her love life really sucks rocks. Enjoyable for him anyway. Sorry sex is not a job and not a duty. quit taking love advice from a 2000 yeal old book fool.

[Deleted12]

Haha, add me to the list of women who were like "Is it in yet?"

If he had been slightly less of a jerk, then I would feel guilty about scarring him for life, but thinking back on our entire relationship... nope, no guilt. :D

[aubrietta]

Everyone on that forum types with one hand.

This.

How can they think that "even looking at a woman lustfully is committing adultery" and yet it's totally fine to discuss every nitty gritty detail of other's sex lives? And it's co-ed? They're talking about other women's husband's penises and other men's wives boobs and vajajays. Cognitive dissonance exploding my brain.

[Shina]

that's bad. really bad. I know the right hand would feel better then a woman who does not want it. But if hubby does not really care about what his wife is feeling he will enjoy it regardless.

Where does the man needs release every 72 hours crap come from? that may be when I get really old but not yet. I don't think it is release she is talking about but sex. like I said where did this 72 hour crap come from. what there is a clock ticking down and if he does not get it every 72 hours he turns into a werewolf or what?

Grrr, this thread pisses me off. I am seriously thinking about joining that clusterfuck of stupid just to inject some non-asshole perspective. How much you bet they´d ban my evil feminist self in 2 seconds flat?

[Kitty]

I really need to stay out of this thread. :(

I've heard this crap from a whole lot of guys. Ones that I wasn't dating, ones that I was. Guys don't think about sex every 7 seconds. Guys can control themselves. Guys do not NEED sex. And certainly not every 72 hours. See, there's a thing called sex drive, and it's different in everyone.

I needed a long time to actually learn that what guys were telling me was NOT normal, acceptable, or okay. And it's taking me a long time to heal from all that shit, that started way back in tenth grade.

I was with three guys who would fit in well on that board, if they were married (and if all three were Christian, one was not). This isn't religion. I can't even say it's sex, at this point. It's arrogance and narcissism and abuse, and I hope all of the wives on that board run as far as they can. Or run these creepy, evil bastards over several times. It's the only way to be sure they won't simply move on to abusing someone else.

It is not any sexual partner's job to have sex just to appease the other partner. Absolutely not. Why don't people realize this?

[debrand]

Ugh.. just discovered this one in the male wedding night thread:

Really? Her very first sexual experience with him was something that was particularly triggering to her from past abuse and that's romantic. If she's comfortable and into it, then whatever, but why does overcoming trauma that quickly demonstrate how much she must love him? :shock:

I laughed at the first part of that story. At first, I thought that she was giving him oral sex but when it turned out to be just kissing that surprised him, I found it funny. He acts as though he had no idea what kissing was before she put her lips on his mouth. Even having to ask what someone was doing when they were giving you oral sex would seem odd but kissing? Really?

And yes, the last part is just sad.

[penguinagogo]

ok, horrified by that board, needing brain bleach

I am pretty sure most posters are purely in it fr jollies

what the hell happened to relating to yr partner as an actual human being with physical and emotional needs as complex and important as yr own?

The penis incopatibility theme is hilarious though...

its all a bit Lake Wobegon (where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.) Gaussian distribution chaps, ever heard of it?

[doggie]

now you know what SAHD's sex lives will be like.

[icecreamycakeycake]

wut?

http://boards.themarriagebed.com/viewto ... =4&t=51452

[Kitty]

wut?

http://boards.themarriagebed.com/viewto ... =4&t=51452

eeewwwww.