Steve Maxwell's rude e-mail reply

[junebug]

I guess I'm guilty of being slightly interested in Chris & Anna. So the other day I commented on the Maxwell blog and I asked how they're doing & if they could do an update. I got this reply back:

 

 

Quote

We gave Nathan and Melanie a lot of room/privacy when they were first married and we have with C &A as well. Something to consider.

 

 

Well excuuuuuuse me!

[luv2laugh]

Wow he didn't have to be so nasty! Maybe something is going on with them that he doesn't want others to know..

[Jessica]

For being part of a movement that supposedly considers life to be so sacred and such a huge blessing they sure don't seem very excited about their grandbaby. "Anna is doing well and looking forward to the end of morning sickness" isn't really invading their privacy.

[Guest Anonymous]

Was that in an email or on the blog comments? Did you get a bible verse too?

So rude! :lol:

Anyway, welcome to FJ! Have you been lurking long? How do you 'know' the Maxwells? :D

[junebug]

Was that in an email or on the blog comments?

I asked in the comments section of a post and he emailed me the response. And no, I didn't get a verse!

[dormouse]

For being part of a movement that supposedly considers life to be so sacred and such a huge blessing they sure don't seem very excited about their grandbaby. "Anna is doing well and looking forward to the end of morning sickness" isn't really invading their privacy.

I noticed that about fundie grandparents, they don't look that happy. Same thing for the Duggars: I imagined they would be more excited, after all don't they say that babies are a blessing from God? Aren't they happy that their children are following in their footsteps? The mainstream Christians or non-religious people I know who are grandparents were all crazy-overjoyed upon learning the news.

[YPestis]

The email does sound rude. I don't know if Steve just doesn't know email etiquette or if he was just grumpy when he was replying. I figure Christopher and Anna didn't want to share their baby stuff because they are more private, or perhaps seen what happened with Nathan and Melenie and didn't want to potentially deal with fallout from a bad pregnancy. I can respect that. The Maxwells could be more polite about it as their "ministry" seems to include sharing aspects of their family life. If they didn't want people to pry, they should just send a general "everyone is looking forward to the baby" comment and leave it at that. No need to sound so offended.

[darkplumaged]

What an ass.

That's a real generous, warm-hearted reply, Steve-o. I can really tell that the spirit of Christ dwells within you. :roll:

[browngrl]

steve was just looking out for you ....he was probably worried you would make a idol out of baby news :D

[Justme]

I guess I'm guilty of being slightly interested in Chris & Anna. So the other day I commented on the Maxwell blog and I asked how they're doing & if they could do an update. I got this reply back:

Well excuuuuuuse me!

Nathan & Melanie have been married over 10 years. How are you suppose to know how much "privacy" they gave them? ! I don't even think they had the blog then!

I'm guessing they've been asked that question a ton lately and he's tired of it! He doesn't want to share the spotlight!!

[junebug]

Anyway, welcome to FJ! Have you been lurking long? How do you 'know' the Maxwells? :D

Sorry, didn't see this part of your question! I've been lurking since the other forum, and I think I posted there a few times, but can't remember. I've been following the Maxwells for a few years, before they had Uriah, I think. I love that there are more families like this! It's crazy! That other post about another family having their baby sleep in the bathroom? Yikes!

[Kitten]

I imagined they would be more excited, after all don't they say that babies are a blessing from God? Aren't they happy that their children are following in their footsteps?

Well, not if you're a narcissistic attention whore like JB. Grandchildren take the spotlight away from HIM.

There's also the "baby mama" syndrome. I was acquainted with a Catholic family a few years ago that had 10+ children. The mom once said "I only feel alive when I have a new baby to hold." I suspect that many of the women feel this way (Michelle D. for sure). Being a new mom means you get all kinds of special treatment and attention. Being a grandmother means you have to watch your daughter (in-law) getting all the gifts and oohs and aahs.

I suspect it's the same for all these other QF/ATI/VF parents - they love getting all the attention showered upon them as they have baby after baby, but it's just not the same when that attention goes to another member of the family. They simply can't bear to take a back seat to anyone.

[tehgoobster]

That definitely does sound kind of rude. It would have been fine if he'd been like, "We'd like to give them a bit of privacy like we did with Nathan and Melanie, but thank you for keeping them in mind and asking about them." It's the "something to consider" part that rubs me the wrong way. It's like he's chiding you for not being considerate or thoughtful or something. :roll:

[DamnPrecious]

That definitely does sound kind of rude. It would have been fine if he'd been like, "We'd like to give them a bit of privacy like we did with Nathan and Melanie, but thank you for keeping them in mind and asking about them." It's the "something to consider" part that rubs me the wrong way. It's like he's chiding you for not being considerate or thoughtful or something. :roll:

That is what bothers me. It's like calling you stupid.

[Eclipse]

What an ass hat.

Isn't asking about an expecting couple common courtesy? And for a family whose livelihood is about selling how great they are and sharing all the details of their lives as part of their ministry, it seems inconsiderate, condescending and shooting himself in the foot.

[Aurora]

Srsly. "How DARE you be so rude as to ask after the well-being of my family?"

I wonder if Chris and Anna don't keep in touch enough and he is bitter/embarrassed?

[gardenvarietycitizen]

That definitely does sound kind of rude. It would have been fine if he'd been like, "We'd like to give them a bit of privacy like we did with Nathan and Melanie, but thank you for keeping them in mind and asking about them." It's the "something to consider" part that rubs me the wrong way. It's like he's chiding you for not being considerate or thoughtful or something. :roll:

Actually I wonder if he realizes that this forum (or others, I don't know) snark on him and speculate about his kids' fertility and the rest, and so feels he's being stalked, and is lashing out. I.e., "we give our family privacy, maybe you stalkers should give it a try" or similar sarcastic tone.

At which point, well, okay, but you can't put up a blog about the minutiae of your life, complete with real names, go on and on about the wonder of having kids, announce one of the main "characters" is pregnant, and not expect people to be asking about it!! :violin:

[junebug]

I was surprised when I read that "something to consider" line. It's like, you have a public blog. It's not like I'm stalking you. I only know what I read, and I know that you post tons of pictures and chronicled their courtship/engagement & posted the live link to their wedding. Those are not ways of showing us they want their life to be private.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I agree that Steve was rude and out of line here. This family blogs almost daily, revealing all the mundane details of their life. It's only natural that their readers are interested in how Anna's pregnancy is coming along. And if Anna and Christopher want privacy, that's perfectly OK, but a response like the one suggested by tehgoobster would have been more polite.

[tehgoobster]

Actually I wonder if he realizes that this forum (or others, I don't know) snark on him and speculate about his kids' fertility and the rest, and so feels he's being stalked, and is lashing out. I.e., "we give our family privacy, maybe you stalkers should give it a try" or similar sarcastic tone.

At which point, well, okay, but you can't put up a blog about the minutiae of your life, complete with real names, go on and on about the wonder of having kids, announce one of the main "characters" is pregnant, and not expect people to be asking about it!! :violin:

That's a possibility, but he likely had no idea if the OP was one of us or one of their fundie readers. I can see why he'd be pissy if he knew he was talking to a Free Jingerite, but being rude to someone who may or may not be a faithful follower of your family is pretty lamesauce, especially since he's trying to hawk his wares to those people.

[Creaky Mom]

That is what bothers me. It's like calling you stupid.

Condescending.

I think this trait of his was discussed on the old board.

It's just so shocking and revealing to be on the receiving end of his abruptness since it's so at odds with the what a blessing, sweet as pie, dull as white bread blog reports.

IMHO this gives a glimpse of what Terri has to live with.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

This is what I just don't get - these families post public blogs about their lives, sharing daily activities, family announcements, even intimate details and lots of TMI, then freak out when people take an interest in their lives. Why are you blogging?

It reminds me of when JK+8 first came out, Kate said in a couple of interviews that "the fans" really freaked her out and it bothered her that they spoke to her like they knew her and her family. It's like HELLO, your entire life is on tv. What did you expect?? Some of these family bloggers act just the same.

[FloraDoraDolly]

This is what I just don't get - these families post public blogs about their lives, sharing daily activities, family announcements, even intimate details and lots of TMI, then freak out when people take an interest in their lives. Why are you blogging?

It reminds me of when JK+8 first came out, Kate said in a couple of interviews that "the fans" really freaked her out and it bothered her that they spoke to her like they knew her and her family. It's like HELLO, your entire life is on tv. What did you expect?? Some of these family bloggers act just the same.

I know what you mean, especially with the intimate details and the TMI. These people tell the whole world about things that I would only discuss with family or close friends, not with strangers on the Internet and NEVER on reality TV.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

god what a jerk he is! hmm what to reply...

Thanks Steve, great advice!

why are there fossils from 1 billion years ago if the bible says the earth is 6000 years old? And what's with neanderthals? Something to think about...'

douche

[QueenMother]

I guess I'm guilty of being slightly interested in Chris & Anna. So the other day I commented on the Maxwell blog and I asked how they're doing & if they could do an update. I got this reply back:

Well excuuuuuuse me!

They do give "a lot of room privacy" and this is a result of the fact that Nathan/Melaine and now Christopher/Anna, before marrying, had never been alone in a room/space together. They'd never shared a deep personal conversation. Giving them privacy is a good thing. Leaving them alone so they can actually finally get to know each other and hopefully really fall in love with each other and just this "I think I know you and I think I love you" love that courtship produces.

I am not a supporter of courtship, especially the way the Christopher and Anna went about it. Christopher decided to to court Anna because Sarah told Steve and Teri that she thought Sarah would be a good choice of a godly wife. Steve then told Christopher to pray about courting Sarah. The next day he's contacting Sarah's father, and they communicate, via email, for the next 3-4 months before Sarah's father gives his stamp of approval for the courtship. Sarah's father speaks with sarah and fills her in on his communication with Christopher and says a courtship is approved. Finally Christopher and Anna can talk, either in person, email, or skype and ALWAYS another adult is in the room with them, and often times several adults are with them. Never are they alone. NEVER. Most of the time Sarah's mother had read the emails coming from Christopher before she did so there isn't any way to sneak a message in. They had no privacy to discuss anything deep and personal. They talked about Bible study and favorite foods.

Christopher and Anna married each other without even knowing each other. Imagine? I would guess that even now, after a year of marriage, they both still close and lock the bathroom door.

I honestly think that Steve and Teri stepping back and letting them have their space is a good thing. I do think Steve could have been kinder in his response but I suspect that is his way of separating himself from a conversation with a female? He would not enter into a discussion with a female, so i can see him being rude and to the point to end it. I'm am in no way saying he is right, in fact I think he could be a lot kinder and offer a very nice gentle explanation as to why he does not want to speak for C&A.