"Fertility Stewardship"

[SweetTexasCrude]

Looks like there's a movie in the works on "fertility stewardship" that examines (in a neutral and scholarly way, I'm sure) the phenomenon of couples putting off childbearing to accomplish worldly goals first.

Watch the trailer here: blessingsmissed.com/

[BravaAmica]

Oh, god, what a crock of shit. How dare people get an education and/or establish themselves in a job so they can provide for said kids. What the fuck?!

[SheWoreLemon]

How much sense does this make? "Family Gravity Media is working on a documentary about fertility stewardship. To introduce the documentary we produced a short film. The video above is the trailer for the short film." Aren't they throwing an extra step in there? Who needs a trailer to introduce the short film that's going to introduce your documentary?

I'll paraphrase the trailer for you so you don't have to watch it.

Couple A: Cute baby! How old is it?

Couple B: She's 2. Do you have a baby?

Couple A: Not yet, we have goals to accomplish first.

Shot of couple A photoshopped in front of the pyramids.

Narrator: Jack and Jill are one of an alarming number of couples who put off having babies until their late 20s or 30s...

Office celebration--boss says: "Jack, if you keep this up, you could be salesman of the year!" (Jill, hanging on Jack's arm, looks on happily)

Narrator (as Jack and Jill stroll hand in hand along a river): ....and are about to learn that putting off having babies means missing blessings. DUH DUH DUH

Ok, let's think about this. Jack just got an award for being a top salesman--wouldn't it make a lot more sense if it were Jill being the one getting the reward? Or maybe if it were Jack getting the reward, and then we pan to Jill making out with a co-worker behind his back instead of standing by his side being all proud of him?

And while I did joke about them being photoshopped in front of the pyramids because it was a cheap photo--how about if they really did go to Egypt and then came home to tons of credit card bills because they didn't buy used and save the difference?

What about if they actually used makeup to age the actors at the end of the trailer so it really looked as if they had aged more than the 30 seconds to shoot the trailer so I really could believe they had wasted their child-bearing years working for the man?

And why couldn't the narrator really make his voice go all dramatic and go DUH DUh DUH at the end, because without such cues, I'm not scared by this video trailer at all!

[GeoBQn]

Whenever anybody starts in on this crap, I think of my grandmothers.

Maternal grandmother: Married at 22. Had only miscarriages until she was in her late thirties, when she had three children in five years.

Paternal grandmother: Didn't get married until she was 35. (Not for lack of opportunity either. She turned down two marriage proposals before she met my grandfather.) Had my uncle at 36 and my dad at 37--all without fertility drugs.

One-size-fits-all is lousy for T-shirts, and even worse for people. If they think people shouldn't put off kids for college or grad school, why stop there? Should teens bother with high school? What do they consider the ideal age to start having children? 14? What about women like me, who have fertility problems or potential problems? Are we "allowed" to have an education and career? Should I let my husband leave me to go find a more fertile woman?

[Brainsample]

Family Gravity Media is working on a documentary about fertility stewardship.

They may think they're making a documentary about "fertility stewardship," but it seems more like a film about their fertility cult and Social Darwinism about how to breed enough people to take over the world.

Sola Gravida! The Sixth Sola.

[Brainsample]

And why do I keep thinking of the Scientology Films they show you at the "Church of" when you go in to check the place out? Here's all that can be yours when you join with the hive mind!

[StarrieEyedKat]

Wow, that was...really cheap to make apparently? I've seen high school film projects that are more polished than that.

[darkplumaged]

Jack and Jill are one of an alarming number of couples who put off having babies until their late 20s or 30s...

Imagine... putting off children until your late 20s! TEH HORROR!1!11!!1

I can think of two friends who had children before their late 20s. Both have older husbands. Otherwise, everyone else I know who has children had them at 28 or later--even my conservative Christian friend who got married at 23. That's what most people do here: they go to college, get settled in a career, and have children when it makes sense for them. Very immoral and ungodly, I know: waiting to have children until you are emotionally mature and can provide for their needs.

The sad irony of this fertility-cult nonsense is that some of its most passionate proponents are childless at nearly-30 and beyond: Sarah Maxwell, Rebecca Loomis, those stupid Ah the Life "girls."

[finleeport]

Its funny that their named Jack and Jill, they could try to climb up the 'hill' of 1950s family picture delusion. And if Jack falls down and Jill comes tumbling after, they're gonna have one hard hit of reality.

Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales have darker means, they're not that really innocent.

[doggie]

They going to ignore all the SAHD's who are not reproducing and just getting old?

[zoestercoaster]

"Fertility Stewardship" makes fertility sound like something you have to maintain, like a lawn.

[zoestercoaster]

Imagine... putting off children until your late 20s! TEH HORROR!1!11!!1

I can think of two friends who had children before their late 20s. Both have older husbands. Otherwise, everyone else I know who has children had them at 28 or later--even my conservative Christian friend who got married at 23. That's what most people do here: they go to college, get settled in a career, and have children when it makes sense for them. Very immoral and ungodly, I know: waiting to have children until you are emotionally mature and can provide for their needs.

How dare you. You're ready to have kids whenever your husband says you are.

[zoestercoaster]

Imagine... putting off children until your late 20s! TEH HORROR!1!11!!1

I can think of two friends who had children before their late 20s. Both have older husbands. Otherwise, everyone else I know who has children had them at 28 or later--even my conservative Christian friend who got married at 23. That's what most people do here: they go to college, get settled in a career, and have children when it makes sense for them. Very immoral and ungodly, I know: waiting to have children until you are emotionally mature and can provide for their needs.

How dare you. You're ready to have kids whenever your husband says you are.

[sandee]

per wikipedia "Stewardship is an ethic that embodies responsible planning and management of resources."

Sorry- waiting to have kids until you are in a position to provide for them (and not having 15 of them) sounds like better "fertility stewardship" to me.

Having as many kids as you can as soon as you can in no way embodies responsibility.

[aelar]

People who have a strong desire to parent a large family usually make it a priority to start having kids when they're younger. If you only want one or two kids, waiting until your mid to late thirties is not generally an issue. I think most people today are aware that it takes longer to get pregnant the older you get, and that certain other risks rise. But we're talking small percentages, and if things don't work out, older, established couples are in a great position to provide a good home to an adopted child.

I think fertility worshipers are really frightened by and angry at the idea of people preferring to only have one or two kids. Honestly, if the Earth weren't already vastly overpopulated, I might be concerned myself, because having fewer kids, or none, really does make for an easier life, with more time, money, and energy for oneself, compared to raising a brood. Seems sort of selfish to leave all the work of maintaining the population to the few people who want huge families. But since we're not in danger of running out of people (not even white Christian ones) it seems like a good thing that today, only the people who really have a passion for raising passels of kids have to do it.

The problem with Quiverfullers is they try to guilt people who aren't emotionally psyched about (or financially capable of) having lots of kids into doing it anyway. Seems like poor stewardship of one's fertility to me, but what do I know, I had my only kid at 37, and always intended to stop at one because I love comfort and time for myself.

[darkplumaged]

How dare you. You're ready to have kids whenever your husband says you are.

Then that explains why I don't have them. My manly headship is even less ready than I am, and I must submit to him in all things.

[terranova]

My partner and I are probably the Jack and Jill of this story. We're both 31, have been together (not married) for 7 years, so we could in theory have had kids when we were 24, instead we waited until we both felt mature enough emotionally and financially to start trying. We started trying in January 2010, got pregnant in March 2011 and are due at Christmas.

Looking back, I can't imagine having a baby 7 years ago. Neither of us were ready (he didn't even want kids for the first few years we were together), and now we are, we have a nice savings account, he has a good steady job, we have a good car, we have enough money for me to take a year off work and we're really excited!

Having kids young might work for some people and I applaud those who make it work, but it wouldn't have been a lot of fun for us.

[FuManchu]

I'm not sure that gives the impression they mean it to give. "If you delay having children, you'll be able to have nice holidays, you'll be popular and respected at work, and you'll have leisure time to spend with your wife." Where do I sign up?

[apple1]

(Disclaimer: I do take some of these numbers with a "grain of salt").

TV news I just saw had a blurb on how much it costs to raise a child to age 18, not including college. Bottom line- 2 kids = nearly a half million $ expenditure.

As I said to my husband, you wonder why it seems like we have no money?

FYI- Adult kids cost even more because you keep trying to help them over the humps of their lives (at least we do, when we can).

Aside (sort of, but fits this thread anyway): Any available good thoughts (and prayers if you pray) are welcomed for my first adult daughter and her family. My grandchild is 7 months old. My SIL is supposed to find out today if he will have a job someplace else after his current job is "eliminated". Daughter's job was "eliminated" when she was to go back to work after her maternity leave. (Do NOT get me started).

[maybeizfundie]

I am seeing "Gravity" but my brain is reading "Gravida". Given the subject, very apropos.

And that's all I have to say. :D

[Koala]

Aside (sort of, but fits this thread anyway): Any available good thoughts (and prayers if you pray) are welcomed for my first adult daughter and her family. My grandchild is 7 months old. My SIL is supposed to find out today if he will have a job someplace else after his current job is "eliminated". Daughter's job was "eliminated" when she was to go back to work after her maternity leave. (Do NOT get me started).

Many good thoughts for your daughter and her family

[bananacat]

(Disclaimer: I do take some of these numbers with a "grain of salt").

TV news I just saw had a blurb on how much it costs to raise a child to age 18, not including college. Bottom line- 2 kids = nearly a half million $ expenditure.

As I said to my husband, you wonder why it seems like we have no money?

FYI- Adult kids cost even more because you keep trying to help them over the humps of their lives (at least we do, when we can).

Aside (sort of, but fits this thread anyway): Any available good thoughts (and prayers if you pray) are welcomed for my first adult daughter and her family. My grandchild is 7 months old. My SIL is supposed to find out today if he will have a job someplace else after his current job is "eliminated". Daughter's job was "eliminated" when she was to go back to work after her maternity leave. (Do NOT get me started).

But this amount of money seems like a lot to you because you actually care about your children and want to give them a full life. It's much cheaper to raise a fundie QF kid because you don't have to pay for frivolous things like sports, hobbies, clubs, nutritious food, or adequate clothing. Fundies don't care how much it costs to raise a typical child, because they only care about making sure that their kids grow up to remain in the cult and that the girls have their hymen intact on their wedding night. And it doesn't take as much money to isolate and indoctrinate your kids.

[atheistjd]

Add me to the list of successful career + free time & money to travel = some really good reasons to wait for birthin them babies (although I have none of those things now, least of all money, a girl can dream ; ). Also, sounds a heck of a lot more like stewardship than have as many as you can whenever you can without any plans whatsoever.

Warning: anecdote ahead:

My parents got married (way too) young, before my mother finished college. They were essentially QF (being born and raised anti-BC catholic and having fallen into Gothard-like religions after high school). They had me (at 21 and 23), were unable to ever have more children, STRUGGLED to keep us eating and sheltered, barely finished (and in some cases didn't) their undergrad and advanced degrees, and wound up divorced and not financially stable.

My in-laws, OTOH, got married after dating for several years, waited 6 to have one child, 6 more to have their second child. They are happily married, financially stable, have their desired amount of children and were able to put both children through private high schools and college, albeit with some hard work and careful planning.

Quiz:

Which of those scenarios sounds more like stewardship?

Which life sounds more appealing?

These people are cracked out of their mind to think god will provide if they just irresponsibly reproduce without a thought as to how to provide food, shelter, or an education for their children. This mentality makes me SO angry given my (pretty crappy, all things considered) upbringing. I look forward to giving my kids what I never had: happy, cultured, educated, loving parents who can afford the basic necessities and even (gasp) vacations and college education for them.

[longskirtlotsakids]

Well, you become fertile at age 14. So... at what point do they change out the film from a young 20's couple to a couple of 13 year olds? I mean, it's the same premise- if women are just babypoppers anyway, why bother with such trifles like high school? If it's a shame to not have babies when you are 25, why wait ten years from age 15 on? After all, everything else... like being able to drive a car, rent a home, etc.. that's selfish desires!

As far as the fertility issue, it's horseshit unless you are talking about sheer numbers. Most women want a pair, not a litter. They also leave out the convenient fact that all the infertility treatments have led to an increase in multiple births in older couples.

Can't wait to see this.

Did anyone else notice that the women "shopping" for her selfish clothing demands was in a frickin THRIFT STORE? Really? Are these people so scared of the Outside World they don't know what a high-end clothing store looks like?

I also laughed in the first two seconds of the trailer. That baby just looks funny. I think it's a combo of the camera shot and the funky hair.

Is it a requirement that all pro-life/whackdoodle films look like they are from 1992?

[apple1]

Many good thoughts for your daughter and her family

thank you