Snarkworthy Purity Post

[BravaAmica]

Being trained in purity, but allowed to go to a very conservative public school, makes for a very paranoid young girl. I was convinced that any boy who showed any interest in me, was a heathen, who just wanted to defile me. How anyone can grow up normal in such an environment is beyond me.

I know a woman (Evangelical, but lately is leaning towards Fundy Lite) whose sole goal for her two daughters (aged 5 and 3)- her gorgeous, bright, intelligent daughters- is that they are virgins on their respective wedding nights. She totally believes that women who have sex before marriage give everything away and that their future husband will think they are pieces of crap. (Which I think is hypocritical because she did everything but shag before she got married. I guess because there was no wiener up in there it's okay.)

She does not have the same standard for her son (7), because it's not a man's fault because women tempt men.

That breaks my heart. I can see the spirit going out of the older girl little by little.

[Crackedeggs]

I know a woman (Evangelical, but lately is leaning towards Fundy Lite) whose sole goal for her two daughters (aged 5 and 3)- her gorgeous, bright, intelligent daughters- is that they are virgins on their respective wedding nights. She totally believes that women who have sex before marriage give everything away and that their future husband will think they are pieces of crap. (Which I think is hypocritical because she did everything but shag before she got married. I guess because there was no wiener up in there it's okay.)

She does not have the same standard for her son (7), because it's not a man's fault because women tempt men.

That breaks my heart. I can see the spirit going out of the older girl little by little.

why oh why oh why does our world hate women so much.. especially the women themselves.

[BravaAmica]

why oh why oh why does our world hate women so much.. especially the women themselves.

I know!! And she's got a masters degree and works outside the home in a dream job in her field. Yet she's pushing these antiquated values on her daughters under the guise of being a good Christian. I'm so disgusted with her attitude I've pretty much stopped hanging out with her. (I don't want to burn the bridge completely because our boys enjoy playing together.)

[punkiepie]

You know what, you self righteous...person (refraining from profanity) ...because of everything I had been taught, I waited 28 years before I "went down the road of premarital sex." I had such a warped view of sexuality that for the longest time I was certain that any sexual contact would send me straight to hell. For the longest time, I was afraid of my own feelings and desires and was terrified of actually coming into contact with the opposite sex. Eventually, I met a wonderful man, who taught me that my feelings were natural. He loves me completely. Yes, we have had teh ebil premarital sex, but he loves me for who I am and that's more than I ever truly expected. When my mom found out about the "nature" of our relationship, she freaked out and practically disowned me. We are now back to the point that she simply ignores everything about me that she doesn't like. I often wonder, can you really love someone if you ignore all the things you don't like about them. I know my boyfriend loves me. He puts up with my tossing and turning at night (and my snoring). Even in this day and age, he waited over a year before we had sex. He was incredibly patient and caring. He knew where I was coming from and met me where I was. All of the focus fundies put on purity, only leads to a messed up view of sexuality.

Oh that sounds so much like my story, although I only held out until 23. When my mom found out she freaked out and harlot, deflowered, whore were just a few of the lovely names. It took awhile to get over my completely warped fundie view of sex and what it meant. My mom also just pretends she doesn't see what she doesn't approve of and that's how we're able to coexist.

[kb2]

Ugh, what a twit. How many blogs does she need? (She links to her other blogs on the side.) She has a really whiney post on her "Created to be his" blog about how she's a person and gets her feelings hurt when people tell her she's a know-it-all. Fun fact: the entire world is made up of people, and they can get their feelings hurt when you tell them you have a divinely inspired duty to let them know you're better than them.

[dormouse]

This is one of the highest amount of in-your-face "I'm better than you"s I've seen, even for a fundie blog. Who does she think she is?

And if the only reason for her having nightmares is that her friend is starting to date, I think she had it pretty easy in her life so far.

[Paisy]

Jason told me later that me not swooning all over him is actually what intrigued him about me. A few times he thought: What is wrong with her?

My most favorite part.

[Koala]

Her pregnancy announcement. HOLY HELL :shock: Is it just me, or is that one of the weirdest things you've ever read? :?

God Almighty has seen fit to touch me intimately and physically and has blessed my womb with a life! A soul! A little one. I am beyond humbled. I am 7 weeks into my pregnancy and I covet your prayers. Please pray that this little life will be a mighty prince or princess for the Kingdom of Christ!

[Guest Anonymous]

Her pregnancy announcement. HOLY HELL :shock: Is it just me, or is that one of the weirdest things you've ever read? :?

That squicks me right out. I second your :shock: .

[doggie]

You have to wonder what its like when they put so much value on sex and then its just not all that.

because it is all they have their sex lives are going to suck so bad purity is the best they will ever have out of it.

[Rachel333]

Her pregnancy announcement. HOLY HELL :shock: Is it just me, or is that one of the weirdest things you've ever read? :?

Yikes. That's very... sexy.

[doggie]

Yikes. That's very... sexy.

sure sounds like she had an affair with god. wonder if she confessed to hubby?

[slickcat79]

God Almighty has seen fit to touch me intimately and physically and has blessed my womb with a life!

WHAT the ever-loving hell? :shock: thirded. Someone should really tell Jason about his role as the new Joseph in KB's little fairy tale.

Wow, she had such a defrauding wedding dress! Bare arms :twisted:

And for someone who is all about having a "god first marriage" or whatever she goes on about, girlfriend is OBSESSED with weddings. She has pics from her wedding up on all sorts of random dates, her whole background is wedding cake/flowers, nearly every entry is about being a bride and the trappings that go along with it. Just one more "pure" little girl whose whole reason for being is getting married, and now she doesn't know what to do with the rest of her life.

[alphaeta08]

God Almighty has seen fit to touch me intimately and physically and has blessed my womb with a life! A soul! A little one. I am beyond humbled. I am 7 weeks into my pregnancy and I covet your prayers. Please pray that this little life will be a mighty prince or princess for the Kingdom of Christ!

Oooh, that's... special. I mean, I lol'd, but it's disturbing, too. :?

Why did I "give it all away?" I don't know, I (well, we, obviously) just felt like it one day, so... there you go. Sorry I'm not sorry! That would probably scare the crap out of her: that a lot of us really don't care that we "gave it all away." It just so isn't a big deal, or a factor in my life. I guess I've got other stuff going on, and I suspect a lot of you do, too! 8-)

[chemist1217]

Couldn't help myself and left this response. I'm sure it won't go over well, but I just can't stand that self-rightous bullshit she is spouting

Since you asked.....

Why did you give it all away? I didn’t give it away. I made an active decision to share my love (in a physical as well as emotional way) with the man I love. It wasn’t stolen from me, I wasn’t coerced into it, I don’t regret it for a minute. Love is not finite. Just as you claim the love of God is infinite, the human heart and mind are capable of infinite amounts of love and affection. Having sex with someone does not rip that capability from you, it simply changes the manner in which to love. Because I made the decision to share this act with my now husband, my love morphed into something deeper than I could have imagined

What was your reason? I am an adult, I am control of my mind and my body, and I wanted to share myself with the man I loved. No other reason than love

What justified your actions? That I have the power to make my own decisions and no one has the right to judge those

Don't you know that there is a better way? Do you not see the damage you have done? I’m perfectly happy with my decision. I have done no damage to myself, to my husband, to anyone that I know, or to anyone I don’t know. What I do in my bedroom, in my own time, is private information between me and the man (or woman, depending on the person we are talking about) in question. Having sex (when it is your decision) deepens your bond, allows you to share a part of you that you can’t do in words, increases trust and overall sense of belonging. If you feel your better way is to not have sex before marriage, then that is your “better wayâ€. However, forcing this way on everyone is not right. No two people are alike, so no two experiences will be the same

Did you do it because you wanted to feel loved and accepted? Why not turn to God who loves you so much He gave His Son to die for you? Why not turn to the Author of love? Why? Why? I don’t subscribe to your religion, but even if I did, I wouldn’t see the need to deprive myself of life experiences that I CHOSE to have. Being a good person isn’t predicated on the notion that you must lock yourself away in a tower and never experience the life that God (if you believe in God) created for you! If you choose to refrain from premaritial sex, and that is your decision, then you have my complete respect in your decision. All I ask, is the same from you.

[HijabiLady]

Her pregnancy announcement. HOLY HELL :shock: Is it just me, or is that one of the weirdest things you've ever read? :?

Just...ew.

I had some miscarriages in my first trimester so I am always surprised people announce early pregnancies to the world at large. I tend to keep a closed mouth until in my 2nd trimester because I am paranoid now.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Zombie thread, I know. Found it trying to find the stupid poem about women needing to be led (we need a 'search phrase' option), and this stuff make's me so angry.

[wtfrenchtoast]

Ooh, I can finally play her question game now that I've gone and made myself impure and worthless!

Why did you give it all away?

Give what away? I didn't give anything to anyone. If anything I gained a new experience, as did my partner. Sure, he'd had sex before, but he got the new experience of having sex with me. Win-win as far as I'm concerned.

What was your reason?

I was horny. And he was cute and smelled nice.

What justified your actions?

I did.

Don't you know that there is a better way?

Sure, there are probably better ways to have sex. But the few ways I tried were still pretty fantastic.

Do you not see the damage you have done?

Indeed, I don't. At all. I had a good time, so did he. No harm done.

Did you do it because you wanted to feel loved and accepted?

Nope. I sure didn't love him so I could hardly expect love. I did it because I wanted to.

Why not turn to God who loves you so much He gave His Son to die for you?

Because I don't believe in this God you speak of.

Why not turn to the Author of love?

Why would I turn to Nora Roberts? I don't even know her.

Why? Why?

Don't you think you're being a tiny bit overdramatic here?

Btw, the latest comment on that post is priceless!

[Kitty]

I've never understood the concept of virginity/purity being something that can be taken, or lost, or given as a gift. It can never be received-- you have your virginity from the beginning, but then you lose it. You no longer have it. That doesn't make any fucking sense at all, because virginity isn't anything tangible. It's not even like transferring anything online, because even then you are giving and receiving something that is real. Virginity as a state of inexperience makes more sense.

Why did I give it all away? What did I give away? I didn't give anything away at all. Even if virginity is something that can be given/taken, it's not everything. There is much more to a person than their virginity, MUCH more. People like you are why my first sexual partner (and the rest of his youth group, at the time) seriously believes that premarital sex is the third worst sin, behind atheism and murder. I'm an atheist who had sex with no plans of marriage. I would never attempt to kill anyone and being compared to a murderer is very, very offensive. You believe that the entire human race is nothing but worthless bags of water contained in filthy flesh, who can only do wrong unless they believe in Jesus. That's not a very healthy way to view humanity. You believe that all sins are equal, that in God's eyes, that a white lie is as evil as rape. You believe that pre-marital sex is as bad as murder. If you don't believe that, then stop acting like it.

What was my reason for having sex? I was 18 and horny and had the chance. Bite me.

What justified my actions? I wouldn't have done it if there weren't any condoms available. I did have one available. Again, bite me.

Do I know there is a better way? Well, I really wish I didn't sleep with the person I slept with. That would have been a lot better. I thought I knew him better than I really did. But, I've moved on to someone else, so go step on a Lego.

Do I not see the damage I have done? Wait, what damage did I do? He's the one who went all creepy, texting me when he knew it was inappropriate (early in the morning before I was out of bed, during class, etc.) and he cheated (well, sort of, it was an 'open relationship' but he never told me about the other girl... I thought Rule #1 of an open relationship was to be open with your partner about any other partners)

Did I do it because you wanted to feel loved and accepted? No. I did do some sexual things when I was younger because I wanted to be a 'good girlfriend', but by the time I had sex I was over all that shit. I already told you why I did it.

Why not turn to God who loves me so much he gave his son to die for me? Because he never existed and never has. He is a myth created by cavemen to explain natural phenomena that could not be explained otherwise before objective science. He is a myth that started to explain the world around a bunch of very confused members of the species Homo sapiens who didn't know why they were there, and then was warped to justify all kinds of abuse. This myth has been used as a weapon against women the world over, controlling the most intimate aspects of their existence and giving their very selves over to men. Why wouldn't I turn to the "author of love"? Because love is a mutual emotion that bonds two creatures together. Humans are not the only animals with the capacity for emotion, and many other animals care for each other and mate for life. From what I've heard about your God, he is not the author of love, or love itself as some of your kind like to put it. I would rather trust my own knowledge and intuition than your evil, non-existent God. Also, sending your son to die for someone else is a bit creepy. Of course, you're most likely Trinitarian so you think that Jesus was also God. It's less creepy if you're giving your own life for someone you love, but the concept of the Trinity has never made any sense to anyone.

Why? Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Stop being such a drama queen.

[Witsec7]

Do you not see the damage you have done?

Honey at my age a pulled muscle or two is worth all the effort.

[SpeakNow]

Whoever left this comment---GENIUS!

Why did you give it all away? I didn’t give it away. I made an active decision to share my love (in a physical as well as emotional way) with the man I love. It wasn’t stolen from me, I wasn’t coerced into it, I don’t regret it for a minute. Love is not finite. Just as you claim the love of God is infinite, the human heart and mind are capable of infinite amounts of love and affection. Having sex with someone does not rip that capability from you, it simply changes the manner in which to love. Because I made the decision to share this act with my now husband, my love morphed into something deeper than I could have imagined

What was your reason? I am an adult, I am control of my mind and my body, and I wanted to share myself with the man I loved. No other reason than love

What justified your actions? That I have the power to make my own decisions and no one has the right to judge those

Don't you know that there is a better way? Do you not see the damage you have done? I’m perfectly happy with my decision. I have done no damage to myself, to my husband, to anyone that I know, or to anyone I don’t know. What I do in my bedroom, in my own time, is private information between me and the man (or woman, depending on the person we are talking about) in question. Having sex (when it is your decision) deepens your bond, allows you to share a part of you that you can’t do in words, increases trust and overall sense of belonging. If you feel your better way is to not have sex before marriage, then that is your “better wayâ€. However, forcing this way on everyone is not right. No two people are alike, so no two experiences will be the same

Did you do it because you wanted to feel loved and accepted? Why not turn to God who loves you so much He gave His Son to die for you? Why not turn to the Author of love? Why? Why? I don’t subscribe to your religion, but even if I did, I wouldn’t see the need to deprive myself of life experiences that I CHOSE to have. Being a good person isn’t predicated on the notion that you must lock yourself away in a tower and never experience the life that God (if you believe in God) created for you! If you choose to refrain from premaritial sex, and that is your decision, then you have my complete respect in your decision. All I ask, is the same from you.

[VaSportsMom]

Her pregnancy announcement. HOLY HELL :shock: Is it just me, or is that one of the weirdest things you've ever read? :?

Holy hell is right. I rarely ever comment here (I lurk tons) but that "announcement" just leaves me speechless. Who comes up with that crap?

[emmiedahl]

Well, to get overly personal, my almost 17 year old son has had sex in a committed relationship. The relationship blew up in the nastiest possible way. He was heartbroken and then he got over it. He is stronger and wiser; he has given no part of himself to anyone. It is better to have loved and lost. This experience will be a lesson he carries with him throughout his life about getting too committed to someone because they are pretty and like the same bands. He could foreseeably avoid a disastrous marriage because of what he learned from the relationship. The ex-girlfriend is not broken or less than whole either. I am sure she learned some valuable things that she will use as life lessons. Adolescent relationships usually go this way. It's fine, really.

Teen sex is just not that big of deal as long as no one gets pregnant or catches a disease that is not curable with antibiotics. Give them condoms and stash a morning after pill and make it clear that only respectful, mutually consensual sex is ever okay.

[MissBeaufort]

What justified your actions?

I did.

THIS! Thisthisthis. I am beholden to no one but myself, thank you, and I don't need to justify myself to anybody (except, of course, my partner - though I wouldn't call that a justification as such). Not to my parents, not to my pastor, and certainly not to my friends.

I homeschooled through high school, and I had several people who were practically strangers come up out of nowhere and tell Mr Beaufort and I not to have sex when we were at homeschooling events together. Well, guess what? We did, it was great, and there was no emotional scarring. We happen to be still together, but if we weren't, I know 100% that we would have no regrets. I think my so-called friends who were very fundy (who I was stupid enough to tell) were actually more scarred by the event than I was. Why anybody would think those kind of comments are appropriate is just beyond my understanding. For people who seem to think sex is the anathema, they sure do spend a lot of time talking about it.

[Beammeup]

OK, just went and read her "testimony" - as if the whole things isn't creepy enough, since Daddy both gave her away and performed the ceremony, he got to tell the husband when he was allowed to kiss her. Ugh. These people GROSS. ME. OUT.

I'm watching the wedding (cause I can't sleep) and the Daddy starts talking about how he's giving Grant a virgin.

And Grant, the best present that Kristin can give you, and I as a father in law can give you is the fact that you are going to receive a woman who has prepared herself for you. Her first kiss will be with Grant Lee. Her first unintelligible hold tonight will be with Grant Lee, God Willing. But what a prize. What a prize. What a great possession to have. She made herself ready.

Someone please pass me the barf bag, because I'm about to hurl.

Dad then goes on to how she read I kissed Dating goodbye and all the ridicule, laughing, names etc she suffered for some author's sake. He said she's so proud that she's giving her husband her everything. In a prayer he thanks God that Kristin has earned the RIGHT to wear the white dress and veil.

I'm soo squeeked out. My virginity was never mentioned at my wedding in the LDS temple. It was very much assumed that my husband and I had never had sex, and they'd be right, but one of us wasn't "pure" at our wedding, and the other didn't really feel cheated, robbed, or as if something had been taken from them. It so squeeks me out how focused on sex these wedding are.

Also HOLY COW what a long wedding. It's like they are torturing the poor boy making him sit through prayer after prayer and song after song and sermon after sermon to kiss her, FINALLY. Poor girl has to even sing a danged song under the veil because Daddy keeps her covered for some reason the whole ceremony. Don't most people raise the veil after they walk down the aisle?

I easily could have missed some more ickyness because I started skipping around, because I sure think this dad/Pastor LOVES to hear him self blow hot air.

However if someone could tell me why these Christians are blowing the shofar, having a chuppah, and breaking the glass, I would really appreciate that. HEY someone yelled Mazel Tov!

edited for riffled