Artemis (Cynthia Jeub) 4: Plotting The Grift for the New Location

[waltraute]

17 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

No one innately deserves luxury items.

As you've stated, "deserve" is such a loaded word. The rich can purchase luxury items that the poor typically cannot, and "deserve" has nothing to do with it. Right now, that's the world we live in, and most of us have to make choices based on our income stream regarding our wants and needs. Sometimes, a want can move into the need category simply for mental or emotional health reasons, but that can mean a different need then goes neglected if our resources are limited. It's a choice and many of us make those choices daily, so I'm not going to claim someone is inherently bad for choosing a $50 mental health cheesecake over and above paying for something I deem more responsible, just that it would not be my choice, and I certainly wouldn't give someone else money to make that choice. But that's because my income is limited and I can't be doling it out, willy-nilly.

Continuing to make those types of choices and asking others to fund them seems an exercise in futility both for the asker and the giver. I would love for everyone in the world to be able to afford a $50 cheesecake (or whatever their luxury equivalent is) and it has nothing to do with deserving or not deserving. That isn't our current reality, however, and I have to pick and choose where my money and sympathy go.

ETA: I know where my money and sympathy are NOT going.

Edited November 2 by waltraute

[klein_roeschen]

6 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

There are many scientific articles and studies on how resilience works. Obviously, on average, children from a loving, financially stable home have better odds at leading happy, healthy, successful lives as adults who are functioning well in society than children growing up neglected, abused and in a financially unstable home. Yet there are some children who manage to beat the odds, who grow up under devastating circumstances and still manage to overcome the trauma and go on to become happy, healthy, successful adults - why? No one knows for sure.

I would be careful to blame anyone who doesn’t manage to do so, though, just because there are some who do manage. Those are the exception to the rule. Also, an outward appearance of being a functioning adult doesn’t mean someone is actually thriving. They may have all kinds of struggles with mental health (PTSD, eating disorders, compulsive disorders, anxiety, you name it…), even when they appear to have it all together from the outside.

Maybe it's the old nature vs nuture. The human brain still has a lot of stuff we don't unterstand or can't meassure at the moment. Or maybe that resilience isn't the only characteristic that is at play here. You also need determination to reach your goals. You need critical thinking to see what went wrong in the past to change your future. You need to ability to dream to shape your future. All things that Art seems to don't have.

I would be a poster child for a failed adult when you only see my childhood. My parents where more tied to their beer bottles than to their children. I was bullied from kindergarten through to the moment I quit school at 16. I spend the next 2 years not really much leaving the home, except for the library for new books. I lived in that time mostly in a dream world inside my head because reality was to painfull. But I didn't stay there, because I couldn't endure that also. I wanted to reach a place where I could be proud of myself and not be associated with the failures that my parents where. My parents died when I was 20 and 23 and that freed me in some way. I got my school diploma at 19. I have 2 professional degrees, one gotten at 22 and the other at 28. I think for some time now about getting another degree, part because I want some changes and in part to prove myself to myself. But I still have a lot baggage that I will never will loose. I was diagnosed with anxiety in my mid 30s and diagnosed with ADHD just weeks shy of my 40th birthday. I'm still single and will it be for the rest of my life because I never learned to fully trust other people. But I'm now at a point to where I don't care about that. And while on some days the idea of just staying in bed playing on my laptop seems marvelous, I can't imagine living that way.

[Foursquare]

Is Art posting requests on FB? I can't seem to find them anymore, although I don't remember making a comment that would have gotten me blocked. 

[GreenBeans]

2 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

And while on some days the idea of just staying in bed playing on my laptop seems marvelous, I can't imagine living that way.

I think we all feel that way sometimes. But yeah, there’s a big difference between taking a “stay in bed and do nothing but binging a Netflix series” day every once in a while when you’re on a day off or when you’re sick in bed with a head cold, and living like that every single day. The former can be so nice and relaxing, the latter becomes boring and makes you feel like crap after a while.

You can be so proud of yourself for overcoming your upbringing! It takes so much strength and determination to build a life when you’ve been dealt such an unfair hand to start with!

[klein_roeschen]

30 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

I think we all feel that way sometimes. But yeah, there’s a big difference between taking a “stay in bed and do nothing but binging a Netflix series” day every once in a while when you’re on a day off or when you’re sick in bed with a head cold, and living like that every single day. The former can be so nice and relaxing, the latter becomes boring and makes you feel like crap after a while.

You can be so proud of yourself for overcoming your upbringing! It takes so much strength and determination to build a life when you’ve been dealt such an unfair hand to start with!

I stayed in bed a few weeks ago when I had covid. Couldn't stand it after 2 days and switched to the livingroom and sitting on the couch and I have a really comfy bed. But even then, the dog needed to be walked, so I had to leave the house every day. And even sick and walking slower then an old grannie on a walker, the walking and fresh air felt good on the body and mind. 

And thank you very much for your kind words. Reading this reminds me what I achieved and will be stored for the days when I feel like a failure. And I think the thing that separetes me and all the others that build I live after a terrible childhood and people like Artemis: having the drive and determination to change ones situation. The drive to be different, to discover what live has to offer. The determination to change so the past won't be also the future. And I see that in variing degrees in the Anderson kids. And I see that this was trained and maybe beaten out early in the Rod kids.

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

12 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

There are many scientific articles and studies on how resilience works. Obviously, on average, children from a loving, financially stable home have better odds at leading happy, healthy, successful lives as adults who are functioning well in society than children growing up neglected, abused and in a financially unstable home. Yet there are some children who manage to beat the odds, who grow up under devastating circumstances and still manage to overcome the trauma and go on to become happy, healthy, successful adults - why? No one knows for sure.

I would be careful to blame anyone who doesn’t manage to do so, though, just because there are some who do manage. Those are the exception to the rule. Also, an outward appearance of being a functioning adult doesn’t mean someone is actually thriving. They may have all kinds of struggles with mental health (PTSD, eating disorders, compulsive disorders, anxiety, you name it…), even when they appear to have it all together from the outside.

quite a bit on ERIC .gov which is free... 

2 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

I stayed in bed a few weeks ago when I had covid. Couldn't stand it after 2 days and switched to the livingroom and sitting on the couch and I have a really comfy bed. But even then, the dog needed to be walked, so I had to leave the house every day. And even sick and walking slower then an old grannie on a walker, the walking and fresh air felt good on the body and mind. 

And thank you very much for your kind words. Reading this reminds me what I achieved and will be stored for the days when I feel like a failure. And I think the thing that separetes me and all the others that build I live after a terrible childhood and people like Artemis: having the drive and determination to change ones situation. The drive to be different, to discover what live has to offer. The determination to change so the past won't be also the future. And I see that in variing degrees in the Anderson kids. And I see that this was trained and maybe beaten out early in the Rod kids.

Exactly this! Have there been days I just want/wanted to lay in bed and not deal with anything? Absolutely! Were/are there days like that because I need(ed) the mental break - so I didn't break? Yes. Sometimes just need to zone out. Sometimes just need downtime. ("and some tines, three tines ..." nope, that's *Pretty Woman* LOL). It's ok to have veg out time; healthy to. But every day I would be bored out of my mind and stir crazy. I luv my downtime - big switch since pandemic. I've also been thru layoffs, etc. So I know the difference, and myself - I need both to recharge - socializing and downtime. It's a lot easier not working with the public anymore, and not having cortisol and adrenaline surging thru me daily due to exPOS! Plus, you do need a break and time away from your partner, too. None of that can be good for Art or Ryan.

I think resilience and determination really are key. I know for myself anyway. And have seen the different manifestations in family and friends, too. (pushing thru or not being resilient)

...and some days, or partial days, I'm just lazy lol 

Edited November 2 by LongTimeLurkerOG

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

21 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Good for you taking your life back.  It sounds like you have some catching up to do and have earned some extra treats.  

Thank you! 💙

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

Ok I am absolutely not starting that thread drift, but just to say, and move on... any time I'm browsing around and see: 

Spoiler

"duvet"

I LMFAO!!! and think of fj

Cheers. End. Full. Stop. 😂 

Edited November 3 by LongTimeLurkerOG

[keepercjr]

Art is trying to write more this month on substack.  This is the 2nd entry for the month (the other one wasn't very interesting)

Here is "The Limitations of being Disabled"

Quote

My inner world is full of broken promises. I have ideas about what I will do, but reality has other plans. Often, I have entire to-do lists in my head, then the first thing on the list is overwhelming for me. This is partially because I deal with chronic pain and mental health barriers. It’s also because since I was a child, more has been expected of me than was realistic. Every day, I tell myself that I am capable of more than I actually am.

It’s frustrating to realize I can’t do what I set out to do.

The disabled community often utilizes Spoon Theory to explain our limitations to able-bodied and neurotypical people. While it has been helpful in communicating how we don’t have as much energy as others, it’s also worth noting that we don’t have the same number of spoons from day to day.

Before I was disabled, I could generally expect that I’d wake up each morning with the capacity to shower, make breakfast, prepare for a full day of work, etc., unless I woke up sniffly or something.

This is not what it’s like to be disabled.

Chronic illness is literally being varying degrees of sick all the time. Some days we can do more than other days, but we don’t always know where our limit is until we’ve smacked into it. It can look like being physically stuck, forced to sit down in the middle of a task due to pain or exhaustion.

This often happens to me when I’m doing the dishes: I unload the dishwasher, rinse and load up the dirty dishes, and as I’m washing the pots and pans, I suddenly get terrible shooting pain that begins in my lower back and turns to cramping down my legs. If I don’t sit down within a minute or so, the pain builds until it’s unbearable.

Usually when I’m explaining this to an able-bodied person, this is the part where the unsolicited advice begins: have I seen a doctor? What about a physical therapist? Am I on medications for the pain? Do I exercise and stretch? Have I tried yoga?

The answer to every one of these questions is yes.

Nonetheless, I have chronic pain that is difficult to manage.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to be able to work on my feet for full shifts. I used to be able to keep busy throughout the day. I was not born with a chronic illness, it came about within the past several years and was officially diagnosed in 2020. Diagnosis is not instant. Physical therapy and yoga have been helpful, but even those wouldn’t be possible most of the time without medication for the pain. It doesn’t make the pain go away altogether, either. The meds just bring the pain down to a more manageable level…mostly.

Anyway, I say all this to explain that my mind is often busy with unrealistic plans. I think about what I want to do, but I am unable to follow through, despite the best intentions and willingness. There are some things that help me get around the mental barriers, like psychiatric medication and mindset shifts. Overall, however, the main barrier is a physical one: my body does not cooperate.

The frustration of being disabled is that I seldom have the capacity for a basic set of tasks. What I used to be able to accomplish in one day, I’m now lucky to get done in a week. I can’t do what I expect myself to do. I am learning how to give myself compassion and adjust my expectations and goals accordingly.

It is also important to explain this because it helps people who are striving to understand. If you are one of those people, I appreciate you.

Artemis Stardust writes about escaping and recovering from a fundamentalist upbringing in a large family. They are non-binary and disabled, and their writings reflect on changing perspectives surrounding mental health, trauma, politics, and the existential. Subscribe below if you’d like (paying for bonus content is optional)!

I wonder what chronic illness Art has.  They claim back pain from conditions during child hood but I don't think I would claim back pain is a chronic illness.  I notice they never talk about what Ryan contributes to the household.  I know Ryan has some disabilities but the scenario Art puts forward is that Art does *everything* in the relationship.  I would love a post on the division of labor in /their day to day lives.  Who loads and move the laundry? Who folds? Does Ryan ever cook or do dishes?  Who cleans the litter box? Who changes the sheets?  Who sweeps the floor?  Who feeds the cats?  It doesn't sound like their life is any different living near family than it was in Seattle. 

As far as deserving things - I think Art feels that this is how their lives will be forever.  They are *disabled* and will never be able to work or earn money like the rest of us.  So they deserve the nice things too.  I get disability.  I have a chronic (often terminal but new meds are changing things) illness.  Some days I am so so tired, other days I feel good.  Either way, the 7 year old needs to be woken up, fed, lunch made and driven to school.  Animals need fed.  House needs cleaned/straightened up.  Laundry needs done/folded.  I do it because it needs done.  I don't have the luxury of spending the day in bed.  This morning I laid in bed for a while after I woke up and it was nice.  But eventually I needed to get up because the kid was hungry (husband works on Sundays) and I have a chicken inside right now because something is wrong with her and she needed to be hand fed.  My house isn't perfect and could be neater and I wish I knew what to cook for every meal but its the reality of my life.  Its a good life.  I don't deal with chronic pain so I can't understand that perspective clearly.  But I think Art could do better in their life.  They just need to want to.

[Ozlsn]

On 11/3/2024 at 5:05 AM, Foursquare said:

Is Art posting requests on FB? I can't seem to find them anymore, although I don't remember making a comment that would have gotten me blocked. 

From a quick search yes, but they pop up in between a lot of meme posts.

2 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I know Ryan has some disabilities but the scenario Art puts forward is that Art does *everything* in the relationship.  I would love a post on the division of labor in /their day to day lives.  Who loads and move the laundry? Who folds? Does Ryan ever cook or do dishes?  Who cleans the litter box? Who changes the sheets?  Who sweeps the floor?  Who feeds the cats?  It doesn't sound like their life is any different living near family than it was in Seattle. 

Art has said Ryan has post-covid syndrome (long covid, or whatever the current name is) which depending on severity could quite conceivably mean that Art is doing everything in the relationship and would also be acting as a carer on top of everything else.

Unfortunately I can't see anything changing while they stay together.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I doubt Art has an actual diagnosis because if they did and shared it, it would dispose people more favorably to their grifting.  If you have fibromyalgia or PTSD, say so.  But they would probably claim there's a stigma around it and that's why they don't want to get specific.  I've no doubt they're feeling pain.  Mens sana in corpore sano, right?

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

Art has said Ryan has post-covid syndrome (long covid, or whatever the current name is) which depending on severity could quite conceivably mean that Art is doing everything in the relationship and would also be acting as a carer on top of everything else.

I've read that a percentage of people with lingering covid issues (yeah what's the latest name) are still very disabled, but as time has gone on more and more are finding something that works to help them.  Anecdotal, but everyone I know who had long/lingering covid pursued help and is now back to work and most back to normal or close to it.  I may be completely misreading the situation, but I get the feeling Ryan doesn't try very much.  If all one does is lie in bed, then strength and stamina are not going to miraculously increase.  I say this as the woman who has had to rehab from six steps with a walker in February to get back to normal or better.

[MargieB]

According to Ryann's Give Butter Grifting campaign three years ago for a wheelchair so he could get around better, he suffers from the physical problems of fibromyalgia, neuralgia, and migraine. He raised $3100 for a brand new wheelchair that Medicaid would not cover since he could usually get around the apartment okay.  

One of the things that really bothers me is that they both always seem to have to have the best.  An expensive wheel chair (for someone who rarely goes anywhere), a $50.00 cheesecake, Doordash, Uber, and even the Instapot.  None of these items are necessary in my opinion.  They make absolutely NO attempt to be responsible with money.

I really wonder what they are going to do when their gravy train runs dry.  Artemis seems to be making an attempt to seem more sympathetic to people -- I think they are getting worried about "funding".

[Coconut Flan]

4 hours ago, MargieB said:

fibromyalgia, neuralgia, and migraine.

Another side eye from me.  I have all three of those plus at least three other far more serious and more debilitating conditions.  I've said before that yes I would have qualified for disability since my 20s, but chose a much more fulfilling life and would make that decision all over again. It's sad to basically waste a life.  There are treatments that are effective for all three of those conditions.  So far I've never seen any of those treatments mentioned.

[Coconut Flan]

If sittting for longer than 30 minutes is so bad for people, imagine what lying in bed for hours does.  I'd be completely deconditioned and depressed.  On that note I think it's time for a wal to the park.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/steps-per-day-moderate-activity-an2_l_6727aab3e4b0c08c52a58591

[Jasmar]

18 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I've read that a percentage of people with lingering covid issues (yeah what's the latest name) are still very disabled, but as time has gone on more and more are finding something that works to help them.  Anecdotal, but everyone I know who had long/lingering covid pursued help and is now back to work and most back to normal or close to it.  I may be completely misreading the situation, but I get the feeling Ryan doesn't try very much.  If all one does is lie in bed, then strength and stamina are not going to miraculously increase.  I say this as the woman who has had to rehab from six steps with a walker in February to get back to normal or better.

My middle daughter has long COVID, after catching it that first, pre-vaccine summer as a grocery worker. It has exacerbated her natural dysautonomia to the point that she had to move back in with the rest of us last fall. She’s spent the last year working hard with doctors to get some semblance of a life back. We’re lucky that she’s on our state’s excellent expanded Medicaid, or she’d be out of luck (which, why did Art & Ry move away from Washington which also has excellent Medicaid??). She’s slowly starting to get better in many of the problem areas, although it’s taken working with naturopath/MD combinations of providers. Even though we now have five adults in a 975sf apartment, if she hadn’t been able to come back here she would be homeless and sick. 

Life really sucks sometimes. I don’t even know what I think about A&R, but it hits me hard.

[keepercjr]

8 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

My middle daughter has long COVID, after catching it that first, pre-vaccine summer as a grocery worker. It has exacerbated her natural dysautonomia to the point that she had to move back in with the rest of us last fall. She’s spent the last year working hard with doctors to get some semblance of a life back. We’re lucky that she’s on our state’s excellent expanded Medicaid, or she’d be out of luck (which, why did Art & Ry move away from Washington which also has excellent Medicaid??). She’s slowly starting to get better in many of the problem areas, although it’s taken working with naturopath/MD combinations of providers. Even though we now have five adults in a 975sf apartment, if she hadn’t been able to come back here she would be homeless and sick. 

Life really sucks sometimes. I don’t even know what I think about A&R, but it hits me hard.

I'm so glad your daughter is seeing some improvement.  We don't see any of this from Art/Ryan.  The only medical stuff they touch on is the mold exposure thing for Ryan.  No mention of trying different therapies or doctors/approaches to treat his long covid symptoms.

[MariaariaM]

Long covid seems to be just a named variety of ME/CFS. In the long run we probably won't distinguish between the two. And it can indeed be debilitating, as can chronic back pain. But treating a body with chronic back pain the way you'd treat a body with the worst forms of ME/CFS would be the absolute worst strategy. And I feel like Art is shaping their everyday life after Ryan's. 

[Ozlsn]

3 hours ago, MariaariaM said:

Long covid seems to be just a named variety of ME/CFS. In the long run we probably won't distinguish between the two.

Post-viral syndromes appear to be becoming more recognised as such. The advantage with covid is that there is a clear link to a viral infection and often a clear diagnosis of that infection in a much larger than usual population, which makes it harder to fob off as being anxiety, "all in your mind" etc. and hopefully will lead to better treatments. I sincerely hope so at least!

4 hours ago, MariaariaM said:

But treating a body with chronic back pain the way you'd treat a body with the worst forms of ME/CFS would be the absolute worst strategy. And I feel like Art is shaping their everyday life after Ryan's. 

I can understand not wanting to do anything to trigger off the pain (she says, while favouring the knee which hurts). I hope Art is seeing someone about the pain, but from the blog entry quoted above it doesn't seem like it.

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

3 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Post-viral syndromes appear to be becoming more recognised as such. The advantage with covid is that there is a clear link to a viral infection and often a clear diagnosis of that infection in a much larger than usual population, which makes it harder to fob off as being anxiety, "all in your mind" etc. and hopefully will lead to better treatments. I sincerely hope so at least!

I can understand not wanting to do anything to trigger off the pain (she says, while favouring the knee which hurts). I hope Art is seeing someone about the pain, but from the blog entry quoted above it doesn't seem like it.

Same, but I know if I don't move my back won't get better, or at least will get worse actually. Car accidents and shit. Massage therapy is great, too. and I know I should do more/often, but have also been told by doctors, etc. to give myself a break and some grace. I'm working on it 😁

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

On 11/1/2024 at 4:34 PM, Giraffe said:

I think this is partly why they're so confusing to me. Many people have the privilege of saying "I have the money for this expensive item or that expensive item but not both. This item is more important to me than that item so I'll get the higher end of this and the cheap version of that." But Art seems to believe they deserve high end everything. That's simply not realistic for most of us. And many people don't have the luxury of anything more expensive. So it's hard to have any amount of sympathy for them when every fucking thing they're demanding is out of most people's financial means. A $50 cheesecake? Are you fucking kicking me?!  But yet like you said, I would think $1000 for a laptop could get them a decent enough laptop. They'd insist the $5000 alienware is the ONLY one that will meet their needs!

eta: I'm not saying it's always bad to buy a $50 cheesecake. Just using their own ridiculousness to make a point. 

All this. Last year I commented here about how every "need" of theirs seems to be the high end model. If they were asking for a car it could just be a beater someone had that was on its last wheels. That wouldn't be enough, they'd really want a luxury car or a Tesla because the Tesla would not need gas and be better for the environment. They'd also need an SUV style so it could hold their mobility devices (instead of getting a rack attachment/platform thing to hold the device if that works for their devices) and oh yes, it would need heated seats because of back pain. And let's not forget the "ARTSTAR" personalized license plate. 

A relation by marriage grew up in a family that was financially comfortable and when he married his wife while in college, they both decided that it was totally worth it to buy the BEST of whatever product/item they needed. Within a few years they were needing financial counseling because they were living way beyond their means, and these are people with good paying jobs. It was a serious reality check for them and a reminder to all of us that you can't always get the best of everything. Like you said, almost all of us have to budget and prioritize those luxuries in life. I would have LOVED a $2k engagement ring when I finally got engaged at age 40. But I also knew we had just purchased a house and had a lot of expenses that didn't care about shiny jewelry. So I found a stunning moissanite stone and a beautiful sterling silver setting with wedding band and $350 later, we were both just as thrilled. 

It's called being realistic and being an adult. We have to make these choices every day. 

[Jigsaw3]

Yes, it's about choices.

As I recall, a lot of the $50 birthday cheesecake backlash was because it wasn't just the cheesecake -- it was an expensive book, a badly-planned day trip, AND the cheesecake. Any ONE of those things would have probably been ok (everyone deserves something to make them happy on their birthday!) but the total ask was ludicrously expensive, especially since there were reasonable cheaper alternatives to each item on the list. Choose one.

In retrospect it was probably a fishing expedition for cash in general, not just for birthday gifts, but it just seemed really out of touch.

[keepercjr]

On 11/17/2024 at 1:56 PM, Jigsaw3 said:

Yes, it's about choices.

As I recall, a lot of the $50 birthday cheesecake backlash was because it wasn't just the cheesecake -- it was an expensive book, a badly-planned day trip, AND the cheesecake. Any ONE of those things would have probably been ok (everyone deserves something to make them happy on their birthday!) but the total ask was ludicrously expensive, especially since there were reasonable cheaper alternatives to each item on the list. Choose one.

In retrospect it was probably a fishing expedition for cash in general, not just for birthday gifts, but it just seemed really out of touch.

A while back Art shared a facebook post from someone else raising money.  She said she had an opportunity to visit Italy and was fundraising for it.  Reading further, I expected to see something like "I am staying with a friend so I am just trying to raise enough money for airfare" or something similar.  No.  She was fundraising for the ENTIRE thing.  That isn't "an opportunity" to visit another country.  That is expecting someone else to pay for your entire vacation.  I get needing to get away.  Fundraise for the $500 you need to spend the weekend in a town a few hours away.  Not several thousand for a vacation across the world for yourself.  My family is planning to go to Tahiti next summer (maybe - what we would be going for and who we would be going with is dependent on an event happening and I am not sure it is going to happen).  I have been saving money since last year.  It is a luxury I am able to put away money every month but my budget was well thought out and planned since there will be 4 or 5 of us I am saving for. 

[Giraffe]

30 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

A while back Art shared a facebook post from someone else raising money.  She said she had an opportunity to visit Italy and was fundraising for it.  Reading further, I expected to see something like "I am staying with a friend so I am just trying to raise enough money for airfare" or something similar.  No.  She was fundraising for the ENTIRE thing.  That isn't "an opportunity" to visit another country.  That is expecting someone else to pay for your entire vacation.  I get needing to get away.  Fundraise for the $500 you need to spend the weekend in a town a few hours away.  Not several thousand for a vacation across the world for yourself.  My family is planning to go to Tahiti next summer (maybe - what we would be going for and who we would be going with is dependent on an event happening and I am not sure it is going to happen).  I have been saving money since last year.  It is a luxury I am able to put away money every month but my budget was well thought out and planned since there will be 4 or 5 of us I am saving for. 

Wow, how selfless of one grifter to promote the cause of another grifter! /s

 

Art may have even less self awareness than JRod!

Edited November 19 by Giraffe

[Maggie Mae]

On 11/17/2024 at 12:56 PM, Jigsaw3 said:

Yes, it's about choices.

As I recall, a lot of the $50 birthday cheesecake backlash was because it wasn't just the cheesecake -- it was an expensive book, a badly-planned day trip, AND the cheesecake. Any ONE of those things would have probably been ok (everyone deserves something to make them happy on their birthday!) but the total ask was ludicrously expensive, especially since there were reasonable cheaper alternatives to each item on the list. Choose one.

In retrospect it was probably a fishing expedition for cash in general, not just for birthday gifts, but it just seemed really out of touch.

I finally figured out who has the $50 cheesecake - Freya by Pike's Place. So does Bakery Nouveau.  Bakery Nouveau sells it by the slice as well - $7.25.  WHY not just ask for two slices? Use the SNAP card for the free passes to the museum.  Walk to the aquarium/museum or use LIME (they have accessible scooters) to get up hills if necessary.  But nooooo Art wants a full Uber experience for a few blocks, a ridiculously expensive cheesecake, and full priced tickets when free ones are available.