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SOTDRT strikes again


MamaJunebug

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Headline over engaging photo of newly married couple:

 

Mr. Peter and Meredith Serven

 

source: servenclan.com

 

I mean, on the one hand, Mom didn't get around to using the Emily Post book on etiquette, that's understandable.

 

But .... didn't we learn this in fifth-grade English, in the unit on how to address envelopes?

 

IIRC, correct options (or at least, less awkward options) would be

 

Peter and Meredith Serven

Mr. & Mrs. Peter Serven

or even

Mr. Peter and Mrs. Meredith Serven

...... Oh, my head's starting to hurt.

 

Well, anyway: Mazel tov, you crazy kids!!!! Long and happy life together. :clap:

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I saw that, too, MamaJB! Who's doing the blogging over there? They're making the SOTDRT look bad!

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eh, I actually refuse to open mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs husband'sname Lastname.

I know it's 'right' but it tworks me off and I tend to shred it.

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For people who like to dot all their i's and cross all their t's, this is a big goof.

And in the same vein, he's also missing a tie and the hand on her knee looks bad.

I like her hair and dress from what we can see in this photo.

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Ouch - someone in that family needs a remedial English class!

Lotsa silence from the Servens these days - wonder what's up??

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Well, Meredith could have been added as an afterthought. She is the womenz after all, what importance is she?

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eh, I actually refuse to open mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs husband'sname Lastname.

I know it's 'right' but it tworks me off and I tend to shred it.

Yeah, it's kind of disgusting which is why I think the fundies would be all over it. I always go by Ms. whenever forms ask me. If anyone called me Mrs. Husband'sname (if I get married) I'll hit them.

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When someone calls me Mrs. [my last name], I look around for my MIL.

It doesn't happen that often any more, but when it does, I correct them by saying, "I'm [first name] [last name]. What can I do for you?" It was my choice to take my husband's last name, which I did, but I certainly didn't take his first name.

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I've had that in formal settings. Hearing myself referred to as Ms [name] or Miss [name] is totally, totally weird. Let alone friends or family being referred to that way...

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My parents (mother and stepfather) hyphenated and both of them use both last names. My stepfather did not officially change his, because it is a PITA for men, but he uses both in social situations.

Why can women change to a husband's last name like NBD but men need a court order?

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eh, I actually refuse to open mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs husband'sname Lastname.

I know it's 'right' but it tworks me off and I tend to shred it.

A guy friend of mine got a supply of free address labels reading "Mr. and Mrs. Elizabeth (his wife's name) Smith (his & her married surname)". He got a kick out of it and uses them with pride.

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In Quebec, women cannot legally take their husband's name anymore, except after many years if they argue for common usage, and even so I believe the medical records refuse to use the married name. Personally I think that's obnoxious and inconvenient, I prefer being able to chose to change my last name. They claim it has to do with medical records, but Canadians from other provinces call BS since all of their health systems can manage it just fine.

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I avoided the whole thing by keeping my maiden name. Oh, the fundies would hate me. :D

Me, too!! It has helped in a NUMBER of ways -- DH's last name is difficult to pronounce/spell correctly and having this difference has helped me professionally as the work I do requires me to have anonymity, as best I can.

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I've had that in formal settings. Hearing myself referred to as Ms [name] or Miss [name] is totally, totally weird. Let alone friends or family being referred to that way...

I feel the same way. I chose to take my husband's last name, but hearing myself referred to as Ms./Mrs. Husband's last name is still weird. It's because I don't think of myself as Ms./Mrs. Husband's last name, I think of myself as my first name.

It always irritates me when, in the grocery store, the checkout person would say, "Have a nice day, [my first name]; or Ms./Mrs. [Husband's last name]!" Um, I don't know you, so please don't try to pretend or force this type of familiarity on a relationship we don't even have. It doesn't make me feel like a more valued customer when you tack on my name to your departing greeting, it just makes me feel weird.

I also don't have much use for titles beyond mom, dad, grandma, grandpa. When referring to a relative, I'll say, "She's my aunt." But I don't address my aunt as Aunt So-and-so. Same goes for being called aunt. I told my nephew (on my husband's side) that he doesn't have to call me Aunt [my name]. Just [my name] is fine. He said he was just being respectful, and I told him I appreciate that, but I really prefer to be called by my first name.

As for in school, the Mr./Ms./ First Name or Last Name is fine for other people, but I wish it was considered OK to call your instructor by his or her first name if that's what he or she prefers. I get that it's supposed to set up a level of respect while also reminding students that they aren't an equal rank with their instructors, but I'd prefer to be called by my first name. I have no need for titles, really, unless it's for describing relationships between people.

Sorry to veer off topic. I do have one more thing to say, though, in regards to the announcement. My husband received an invitation from his cousin (well, several cousins) that was addressed to him. On the inside, the RSVP card said "[Husband's name] + 1." We were either married at the time or engaged, and I'd been around for several years and had met his aunts (the ones who most likely gave the info to the bride/groom-to-be) many times. Now that's klassy! :D

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Headline over engaging photo of newly married couple:

Mr. Peter and Meredith Serven

source: servenclan.com

I mean, on the one hand, Mom didn't get around to using the Emily Post book on etiquette, that's understandable.

But .... didn't we learn this in fifth-grade English, in the unit on how to address envelopes?

IIRC, correct options (or at least, less awkward options) would be

Peter and Meredith Serven

Mr. & Mrs. Peter Serven

or even

Mr. Peter and Mrs. Meredith Serven

...... Oh, my head's starting to hurt.

Well, anyway: Mazel tov, you crazy kids!!!! Long and happy life together. :clap:

Yep, the whole thing just made me cringe. So many other proper options! I wonder what Meredith thinks about not having a "royal" title like, oh, say "Mrs."?

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Mr. & Mrs. Peter Serven

This one always bugs me tons. What happened to her first name?!?!?

Here in Germany, she can take his name, he can take hers, or one of them can hyphenate. They have to choose ONE name for the children though. I think that is so their name won't be Müller-Rabe-Schmidt-Einheim-Meier or something.

I used to think I'll definitely keep my name, since it's unique, but these days I honestly don't care. Marriage shouldn't be about that. I think we'll just roll a dice or something.

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I'm terribly rusty regarding the rules of etiquette but I remember being told that in a formal setting you would call a woman Mrs. (husband's first name) (husband's last name) if her husband was alive and Mrs. (her first name) (husband's last name) if she was a widow. Is this correct?

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When my sister, who is also a physician, got married, her husband really wanted her to change her last name. It's a PITA to change your name as a physician so she said she would only if he would do all the paperwork. They've been married 15 years now and she still has her "maiden" name.

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