Mom's Corner 2

[Coconut Flan]

Coninued from here:

 

[kpmom]

2 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Coninued from here:

 

It’s true. If you want your kids in the summer camps, even just the day camps like  my kids went to, you need to start planning long before May.  They fill up quick. 
Same for any special summer school sessions. 
 

Of course neither of those would be of any interest to the isolated Maxwells. 

[hoipolloi]

20 minutes ago, kpmom said:

If you want your kids in the summer camps, even just the day camps like  my kids went to, you need to start planning long before May.

Yes, even years ago you had to have solid plans with reservations or deposits by March at the latest, often earlier than that.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I assume, that Teri expects people to schedule their summers in 15 minute increments.  

I'm trying to imagine 15 min increments during the zoo visit.

 

[anjulibai]

I signed my boys up for summer camp before Christmas.....yeah, you need to plan early. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Well the Maxwells are probably anti-Summer Camp. 

1. They're against schools and summer camp is basically a fun school.
2. They're against fun.
3. They're against kids being away from the parents for basically any length of time.
4. They're against meeting people from other cultures except to proselytize.

[SPHASH]

New Mom's Corner but it came from Steve's email.  At the bottom it acknowledges seven kids are now married, still 18 grands.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

32 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

New Mom's Corner but it came from Steve's email.  At the bottom it acknowledges seven kids are now married, still 18 grands.

Cool. They haven't posted it yet, so could you post it or at least the text? What's it about?

[SPHASH]

43 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Cool. They haven't posted it yet, so could you post it or at least the text? What's it about?

Summer is the best time to put together a schedule for your new school year.

“This is by far the absolute best scheduling tool I have EVER used. My children said they didn’t even feel like we were having school because of the balance it gave to our day!”  Stephanie B.

Recommended for summer organizing: Manager of Their Homes, Managers of Their Chores, and Managers of Their Schools. Consider all three in the Lose Frustration Special.

Be sure you have plenty of good reading material for your children. Now is the time to start or complete your Moody and Hilltop series. The Moody Family Series and Hilltop Adventures (Children’s Reading Book Special/$119 Savings of $20) They provide great role models.  

The Blessing of a Smile

I remember the time years ago, in the midst of my season of homeschooling when my husband looked at me one day and said, “Honey, I think you should smile more.” I don’t recall the exact circumstances, but I am sure it was not one of my more stellar days, and I didn’t receive his encouragement very well. I went off by myself into my bathroom and did a little experiment.

I looked at myself in the mirror and evaluated how I looked. Then I pretended to be unhappy with a child while correcting the child with an attitude. Immediately, I thought to myself, “Wow, Lord, if You had put little mirrors on my children’s foreheads so that I could see what they are seeing when I am displeased with their behavior, perhaps I would have more quickly come to the meek and quiet spirit that I long for.”

Finally, I smiled at myself in the mirror. The difference was astonishing. It was beyond amazing. There was no doubt in my mind which image I preferred looking at, and I could readily see why Steve suggested that I smile more. Truly, the smiling face was the one I desired for my family to see.

When a mom writes to me with struggles with her children, the first thing I usually ask her to do is to look each child in the eye at least once every day, smile at him, and tell him you love him. We get busy with life. We work with our children. We talk to them. We play with them. We do school with them. We disciple them. We are with them a great deal of time each day. Sometimes, though, we forget to simply quiet ourselves enough to catch their eye, smile into their face, and express the words that fill our hearts—”I love you!” We might say, “I love you” as we hug them during the day or tuck them in at night, but what about looking them in the eye when we say it?

There isn’t a verse in Scripture that says there is power in a smile, but this verse is pretty close: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13). Here the smile comes from the heart. For me, there were times when my heart was not merry, but I chose to put a smile on my face. From that, I discovered the decision to smile could also cheer up my heart.

A smile is a blessing to my family. They like to see a wife and a mother who is happy. A smile is a blessing to me. It expresses my feelings for my family, and it causes me to feel happier. A smile is also a blessing to my Lord because it says to Him that I am content in Him with whatever circumstances He has given to me. “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11).

Could I challenge you to take the mirror test yourself? What kind of wife and mommy do you want your husband and children looking at—the one who is smiling, the one who is serious, or the one whose brow is furled and frowning? I would like to remind you to smile more. I would like to remind myself to smile more. There is a blessing in your smile. Don’t lose those precious blessings!

Trusting Jesus,
Teri Maxwell 

Teri Maxwell has been happily married to Steve for 48 years,
is the mother of eight, grandma of eighteen, and homeschooled for 30 years. All of her children have graduated from homeschool, and seven are married. Teri delights in
sharing what the Lord is teaching her with ladies across the world through books and her monthly e-mail.

Edited June 14, 2023 by SPHASH

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Not one word from Teri or Stevehovah about Mary's wedding.

Which may be a good thing as Teri's "Sonnet to Sarah's Season of Singleness" was so very cringe-y beyond belief. (It was God's will that Stevehovah ran off every/any man who showed up for Sarah.)

But Sarah has the last laugh. She seems freely, happily, joyously married to Kute Kory and living far away and out from under the Maxhellian rules.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Not one word from Teri or Stevehovah about Mary's wedding.

Which may be a good thing as Teri's "Sonnet to Sarah's Season of Singleness" was so very cringe-y beyond belief. (It was God's will that Stevehovah ran off every/any man who showed up for Sarah.)

But Sarah has the last laugh. She seems freely, happily, joyously married to Kute Kory and living far away and out from under the Maxhellian rules.

I agree. I'm very surprised they didn't say anything about Mary's wedding. I was expecting it in the newest Mom's Corner and I a little surprised they didn't mention it.

That being said we don't know that Steve "ran off every man who showed up for Sarah". Sarah may not have liked any of the men she met. They may not have been compatible. 

I will say one of the problems is that after they stopped touring they seemed too isolated to meet people.

It's seem telling that Sarah married a guy who is closer to the mainstream than what she grew up with. Maybe she was waiting for a moderate along. 

[Mrs Ms]

On 6/14/2023 at 2:46 PM, SPHASH said:

Summer is the best time to put together a schedule for your new school year.

“This is by far the absolute best scheduling tool I have EVER used. My children said they didn’t even feel like we were having school because of the balance it gave to our day!”  Stephanie B.

Recommended for summer organizing: Manager of Their Homes, Managers of Their Chores, and Managers of Their Schools. Consider all three in the Lose Frustration Special.

Be sure you have plenty of good reading material for your children. Now is the time to start or complete your Moody and Hilltop series. The Moody Family Series and Hilltop Adventures (Children’s Reading Book Special/$119 Savings of $20) They provide great role models.  

The Blessing of a Smile

I remember the time years ago, in the midst of my season of homeschooling when my husband looked at me one day and said, “Honey, I think you should smile more.” I don’t recall the exact circumstances, but I am sure it was not one of my more stellar days, and I didn’t receive his encouragement very well. I went off by myself into my bathroom and did a little experiment.

I looked at myself in the mirror and evaluated how I looked. Then I pretended to be unhappy with a child while correcting the child with an attitude. Immediately, I thought to myself, “Wow, Lord, if You had put little mirrors on my children’s foreheads so that I could see what they are seeing when I am displeased with their behavior, perhaps I would have more quickly come to the meek and quiet spirit that I long for.”

Finally, I smiled at myself in the mirror. The difference was astonishing. It was beyond amazing. There was no doubt in my mind which image I preferred looking at, and I could readily see why Steve suggested that I smile more. Truly, the smiling face was the one I desired for my family to see.

When a mom writes to me with struggles with her children, the first thing I usually ask her to do is to look each child in the eye at least once every day, smile at him, and tell him you love him. We get busy with life. We work with our children. We talk to them. We play with them. We do school with them. We disciple them. We are with them a great deal of time each day. Sometimes, though, we forget to simply quiet ourselves enough to catch their eye, smile into their face, and express the words that fill our hearts—”I love you!” We might say, “I love you” as we hug them during the day or tuck them in at night, but what about looking them in the eye when we say it?

There isn’t a verse in Scripture that says there is power in a smile, but this verse is pretty close: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13). Here the smile comes from the heart. For me, there were times when my heart was not merry, but I chose to put a smile on my face. From that, I discovered the decision to smile could also cheer up my heart.

A smile is a blessing to my family. They like to see a wife and a mother who is happy. A smile is a blessing to me. It expresses my feelings for my family, and it causes me to feel happier. A smile is also a blessing to my Lord because it says to Him that I am content in Him with whatever circumstances He has given to me. “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11).

Could I challenge you to take the mirror test yourself? What kind of wife and mommy do you want your husband and children looking at—the one who is smiling, the one who is serious, or the one whose brow is furled and frowning? I would like to remind you to smile more. I would like to remind myself to smile more. There is a blessing in your smile. Don’t lose those precious blessings!

Trusting Jesus,
Teri Maxwell 

Teri Maxwell has been happily married to Steve for 48 years,
is the mother of eight, grandma of eighteen, and homeschooled for 30 years. All of her children have graduated from homeschool, and seven are married. Teri delights in
sharing what the Lord is teaching her with ladies across the world through books and her monthly e-mail.

Well that explains all the grimaces over the years! Raising the corners of your mouth and showing your teeth isn’t a smile if your eyes aren’t joining in.

Pretty rich that the guy who took away all her reasons to smile pulled the “honey, smile some more” shit. 😤

[fundiewatch]

I think that Chris knows how lucky he was meeting Anna M before they stopped traveling. And I think the older siblings have always felt badly for Sarah. 

[Bethy]

On 6/25/2023 at 11:06 AM, fundiewatch said:

I think that Chris knows how lucky he was meeting Anna M before they stopped traveling. And I think the older siblings have always felt badly for Sarah. 

I don't know how Nate and Chris (Chris in particular) feel about Sarah's husband. I think they're glad on several levels that she has one (if for no other reason than that they're less likely to be beholden to take her in once Steve and Teri are gone) but he's nothing like anyone we would have pictured her marrying during the dog and pony show years. Educated, sports-playing, fun-having, and didn't direct Sarah to pursue a no-touch courtship with him. I think WE would all agree she came out way ahead of where she'd be if she'd married in her early 20s to a man who lined up with Steve's teachings, but I wonder how her brothers - who descended into fundiedom with her, but would remember the before times even better than she would - feel about her husband today?

[hoipolloi]

12 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I wonder how her brothers - who descended into fundiedom with her, but would remember the before times even better than she would - feel about her husband today?

I wonder what they think of Kory's whole family who are sort of a mirror image of the Maxwells.

The Bollingers are also conservative Christians. They have 11 kids of whom many if not all went to college, both sons & daughters. None of them were expected to do their parentsʻ bidding as adults, much less live with them until they were married. One of his sisters wrote this essay while at college. Contrast what she says about her mother, especially, with what Steve & Teri have said and done:

Quote

My mom’s description of her own parenting style is simple yet profound. While dwelling on this theme, she said, “I think that parents need to love their children just the way they are, not make them into something that they’re not. If you love your children truly in a spiritual way, you’ll be happy with them the way they are.” She continues, “Maybe things won’t turn out exactly the way you want them to, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying or loving. You just have to see beyond today. You just have to keep praying they’ll become the person the Lord wants them to become. Sometimes it doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it doesn’t happen for years…”

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

@hoipolloi That text from Mama Bollinger is hard to gage though. It could be more accepting or more passive aggressive. Like people will say "I'll pray for you." meaning sending good thoughts and praying for you or more "you need Jesus" kind of prayers.

The new Mom's Corner isn't up on the website (meaning the June SPHASH posted above).

Edited June 27, 2023 by Bluebirdbluebell

[hoipolloi]

5 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It could be more accepting or more passive aggressive.

Perhaps. Have Steve or Teri every said anything like that? I donʻt recall that they did. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

New Mom's Corner up! They never put up the last one on the website, but this one for July is all about Mary's marriage.

It's called "May We Always Pray" and it's from July 11, 2023.

First Paragraph:

Quote

The end of May, our youngest daughter, Mary, was married to a wonderful young man named Samuel. They met at Bible college where both were mission’s majors.

Well, that settles that I guess. They did seem to hit it off right away from the moment they met. 

Quote

Sam graduated in May. Now they are on staff at our church for about two years, interning and preparing to be sent out by our church, fully supported as international church planters. We are excited to have them here for their training and then to see how God will use them on the mission field.

Steve would rather they stay here and buy a debt free house, but he can't complain too much since proselytizing is the center of his faith. Everyone needs to convert or God will send them to hell.

Second Paragraph:

Quote

At wedding time, Samuels’s dad shared with us how he and Sam’s mom had been praying for Mary, although they didn’t know who she was, since Sam was born. We thought how wonderful that was, recalling our prayers for our children growing up. As first generation, born-again Christians, without role models, Steve and I didn’t think about praying for spouses for our children until our first ones approached marriageable age. Before that, we were simply wrapped up in praying for the immediate needs of our children as we endeavored to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4b).

The older I get the weirder it seems that people obsess about their kids finding partners from a young age. Although I laughed when Mrs. Morgenstern pulled out the letter "For My Daughter Who is Getting Married" and then told Rhoda that she wrote it the day she was born. 

I also side-eye Steve and Teri saying they didn't have role models. It seems passive aggressive especially of Teri's parents, who lived near them and seemed supportive.

Third Paragraph:

Quote

Then when our oldest children reached their teen years, we began praying for future marriages, and we prayed that God would bring each child a godly spouse, according to His will, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).We also asked the Lord for a spouse where the two of them could serve God better together than either could separately. 

How about a spouse to make them happy? Or a spouse who would be a good match in personality? I guess those things are unimportant, especially if Jesus is supposed to be their whole personality.

Quote

Mary is twenty years younger than her oldest brother, and we started praying for spouses for our younger children when we were for the older ones.

There's a word left out. It should read "when we were praying for the older ones."

Quote

So that means she and Samuel had prayer support for their future marriage from Steve and me as well from Samuel’s parents from their infancy.

A match over twenty years in the making! 

Fourth Paragraph:

Quote

Here’s what Samuel’s mom told us about she and her husband’s praying for Samuel concerning a spouse as he grew older. 

I wonder if she said this during the wedding/reception.

Fifth Paragraph:

Quote

“As Samuel was forming his plans for his future, we prayed for a wife to complement him and be a team with him. We prayed she would love the Lord. We prayed she would be ready serve the Lord in missions (even to the more primitive places that Samuel is drawn to).”

I'm not a big fan of complementarianism, but it's mainstream in Baptist. I think being a team with your spouse is a good idea. 

As for "primitive places", yikes! I'd be careful what I'd describe as primitive. It's too bad most of the castaways on a certain island are dead, "like Robinson Crusoe, it's primitive as a can be.(link)"

Sixth Paragraph:

Quote

Aren’t those beautiful prayers for a child? We can attest to God’s answering those heartfelt cries in bringing Samuel and Mary together, both of them desiring a life of mission work, even to remote areas.

I think those prayers are more suitable for an adult. (I know they might mean adult child, but also they were praying from when he was born.)

Seventh Paragraph:

Quote

In one of our married son’s homes, when we are there at family Bible time in the evening, we usually hear him pray for spouses for his children, even though all his children are young. He and his wife are not waiting until their children are ready for marriage to ask God to work toward that end. 

And what happens if like Sarah some are not married for a long time? Or if someone doesn't want to get married? I pray that these children realize they have options in life. You shouldn't have to get married. 

Also I don't think your daughters/sons were single longer than other fundies, because of lack of prayer! I think they were single in part, because after you stopped touring, you stopped meeting people! You have to meet to find spouses.  This is what happens when you don't go to church, school, etc. How were your kids suppose to meet people during this time? Also being picky in requirements for a spouse probably didn't help.

Eighth Paragraph:

Quote

Steve remembers talking to a friend and asking him if he prayed for a spouse for his teen-age daughter. He told Steve he had been praying about that since BEFORE his daughter was born. 

This is weird. There is more to life than just Jesus, marriage and baby-making. Even the bible says so. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (link)

Ninth Paragraph:

Quote

The spouse your child marries is a big deal in the future of his relationship with Christ, serving in His kingdom, and raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I would hope for more than just in a spouse, and I hope for more than just this for everyone. Camaraderie, companionship, attraction, etc. are things I would wish for.

Quote

 That spouse can either encourage in those spiritual areas, totally derail and undermine them, or simply be neutral, which in the end is probably negative. 

Nothing would derail my faith more than a spouse who used their religion as weapon and hurt me with it. Whether physical violence justified by biblical headship, forcing me to have more children because Jesus, belittling me and my role in our marriage, etc. would all hurt my relationship with God.

Quote

You know this from your own marriage and from those you observe around you

I know couples like my parents, who don't agree on faith and still have a strong marriage. Also the person who values religion has strong faith.

Tenth Paragraph:

Quote

Not only will your child and spouse raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but Scripture tells us that marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32).

Not Jesus marrying the church again! I know it's part of Christianity, but some people take it way too literally. For example Joshua Butler (link).  Caution: This link is disturbing.

Eleventh Paragraph:

Quote

May I encourage you as you pray for your children that you are sure to include praying for a godly spouse for your children and even praying for that future spouse as well? What are those of you who are grandmothers? Are you are praying these prayers for your grandchildren?

I think it's weird to pray for minor children that they will find spouses. Is it harmless? Maybe. I would ask adult children if they're looking for a spouse and if you can pray for them. I wouldn't want fundies praying for me, because I don't want to marry a fundie. I hate that anyone (fundie or not) pushes their kids into marriage. Marriage is a big decision, especially if your religious beliefs don't allow for divorce. I hope people who want to get married, find love and get married. I hope that if the marriage goes badly, they can leave. 

Not very practical advice, but I suppose as good as it gets about Mary's marriage. I wish Sam and Mary a lifetime of happiness.

Edited July 12, 2023 by Bluebirdbluebell

[GreenBeans]

On 6/14/2023 at 4:46 AM, SPHASH said:

When a mom writes to me with struggles with her children, the first thing I usually ask her to do is to look each child in the eye at least once every day, smile at him, and tell him you love him. We get busy with life. We work with our children. We talk to them. We play with them. We do school with them. We disciple them. We are with them a great deal of time each day. Sometimes, though, we forget to simply quiet ourselves enough to catch their eye, smile into their face, and express the words that fill our hearts—”I love you!”

Wow. I smile at my son countless times a day for sure (and I’m an evil working mom who is out of the house most of the day). I can’t imagine having to force or remind myself to have to smile at my child. How would anyone think this is normal or even good parenting?

[GreenBeans]

55 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

He and his wife are not waiting until their children are ready for marriage to ask God to work toward that end. 

The weirdest thing about this praying for marriage thing is the picture it paints of their god. I mean, do they seriously think you have to start praying early to make sure god gets behind it? Is it like signing up for a daycare with limited spots as soon as a child is born, because if you don’t, well tough luck?

[anachronistic]

It is pretty common in the northeast to sign up for daycare as soon as you know you are pregnant to make sure that there is a slot for them. (This is how one of my siblings ended up telling their daycare provider months before any of their families even knew.) So maybe in fact the Maxwells should have started praying for spouses for Steve's sperm, and then there would not be such a long wait for Sarah….

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Teri's advice reminds me of Ducky Geoff Botkin's story of praying for his daughter Elizabeth's ovaries and future children when she was born.

Didn't seem to do much good as she was well in her 30s before she married and no children in sight yet.

Of course Ducky Geoff kept his daughters home to serve him so there weren't many opportunities to meet prospective hubs. 

I wonder if Anna Sophia should follow Sarah's example of on-line dating? Of course she'd have to leave the compound, move away, and get her own place.

[GreenBeans]

5 hours ago, anachronistic said:

It is pretty common in the northeast to sign up for daycare as soon as you know you are pregnant to make sure that there is a slot for them

Same here, but I didn’t think that’s how god works. 😁

[SPHASH]

New Mom's Corner Up.  Teri included a pic of the Maxgrands 

 

[SassyPants]

Isn’t there one kid missing from the photo^?