Joy & Austin 34: Baby Three

[GreenBeans]

On 11/12/2024 at 4:18 PM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I'm torn about asking for a clear drape this time around because I'm still not actually sure if I'll be okay in the moment (my husband was a trooper but he isn't into bloodbaths like I am and was glad he could sit at my head).

This made me realize that my husband and I never really talked about what it was like for him to experience my c-section. It wasn’t planned, and then suddenly had to happen within minutes. He scrubbed up and was there, I think at my head, but I have no idea how much of the actual surgery he saw. He did tell me afterwards that he was really worried about me at one point, because I wasn’t doing well and suddenly the atmosphere and tone changed and everyone apparently started acting really focused.

I never realized things were that serious at the time, but looking back I feel like I am really lucky that everything turned out fine, both for me and our son. It was a tough recovery (for me more than for my son - he had to be monitored for 4 days and was fine after that, but I remember I was in so much pain, the first time I managed to go for a short walk was five weeks (!) after the birth).

After my experience, I feel for fundie women who are expected to be pregnant and give birth nonstop, again and again and again, from the day they get married until they enter menopause some 20 years later. I feel like pregnancy and recovery after the birth basically stole a year of my life I’ll never get back. I know there are women who enjoy pregnancy and have quick, easy and uncomplicated births, but what about fundie women like me? Are they still going to have eleventy kids and be miserable their entire lives?

[LillyP]

On 11/9/2024 at 11:53 AM, Mama Mia said:

I’m sorry you went through all that. Can I ask why you had to be awake for the c-sections? I’ve always understood general anesthesia to be an option? In my 3 c-sections I had various degrees of anesthesia. The first - unplanned, baby turned breech before labor, I had a spinal, but they had to put me out because it didn’t take well enough. So I totally understand your fear of feeling them cutting, it is not irrational at all! 2 nd was complete emergency, they put me out as fast as possible to save the baby. 3rd was planned with awake anesthetic and went fine. It’s horrifying your Dr didn’t understand your fear with your 2nd and at least offer a general anesthetic.  Phobias and fears don’t need to be rational to be respected. 

Being for me, neither of my my c-sections were an extreme emergent situation. My first I'd been in labor all day and water had been broken for 24 hours. It was clear I was not going to progress (even after being on Pitocin all day). So they had no medical reason to put me all the way out. Trust me, I *BEGGED* them to put me out, but they wouldn't. There are more risks to being put fully under than just calming my anxiety. My second was scheduled. That's pretty standard here in the US and they aren't going to fully put you to sleep for a c-section unless it's medically necessary. The anesthesiologist did go HEAVY on whatever they were giving me, so I basically was incoherent for my first. My second the nurses calmed me down and it ended up being fine. I was definitely very visibly upset with my second, but I don't think I was near as hysterical as I was with my first because I at least knew what to expect. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I'm coming back to this with a fresh perspective because I had an unexpectedly early csection on the 15th.  Went to my appointment (37 weeks) and had a high blood pressure reading again so they decided to take the baby out early - nobody had told me this was the plan and they were very apologetic to surprise me.  But I'm the sort to roll with things so after a bit of crying about not having more time to focus on just my oldest, no big deal.  I absolutely loved my anesthesiologist - he was confident and calm and had a good sense of humor.  He popped back and forth to update me on my vitals and the surgery since the obsetrician was busy.  I asked about full anesthesia because of the questions here and he said it's just not ideal for the baby so they try not to do it if at all possible.  That made sense since they need the baby alert and crying to clear its airways well after its delivered, not sedated.  I'm guessing once the baby is out, if mother is panicking they would push some propofol or versed or something to finish sewing her up, but I didn't ask because at that point I was busy focusing on my own procedure.

[nolongerIFBx]

1 hour ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I'm coming back to this with a fresh perspective because I had an unexpectedly early csection on the 15th.  Went to my appointment (37 weeks) and had a high blood pressure reading again so they decided to take the baby out early - nobody had told me this was the plan and they were very apologetic to surprise me.  But I'm the sort to roll with things so after a bit of crying about not having more time to focus on just my oldest, no big deal.  I absolutely loved my anesthesiologist - he was confident and calm and had a good sense of humor.  He popped back and forth to update me on my vitals and the surgery since the obsetrician was busy.  I asked about full anesthesia because of the questions here and he said it's just not ideal for the baby so they try not to do it if at all possible.  That made sense since they need the baby alert and crying to clear its airways well after its delivered, not sedated.  I'm guessing once the baby is out, if mother is panicking they would push some propofol or versed or something to finish sewing her up, but I didn't ask because at that point I was busy focusing on my own procedure.

Congrats and I hope that you are healing well and adjusting to the new family member!

[AprilQuilt]

Congratulations @GuineaPigCourtship! Hope you are all doing well. 

I was in a similar position 8 weeks ago in that my growth scans were inconsistent so they decided to book me in for a scheduled c section to get the baby out. Not as urgent as your situation and I had the weekend to get used to it, but I totally relate to how emotional that feels when suddenly the hour is upon you, maybe not how you'd hoped, and on top of everything else you know your older child's life is going to change.

My c section was lovely. It was my second (first baby was breech and I'd hoped to get to labour this time) - the anaesthetist was warm and chatty and the whole team was great. I was far more conscious of everything they were doing to me this time and how weird it felt, but it was still a pleasant experience.

As for general anaesthetic, I understand the need for it in specific scenarios but it's not ideal for the reasons other posters have explained. Also, being awake for my daughter's birth, getting to see her right away and have her near me was really special. She had skin to skin with me while I was being stitched up and calmed down right away listening to my voice. You can't do that if you're under a general anaesthetic. A GA means mum and baby are separated until the mum's come round, which isn't optimal for baby. My friend had an emergency section under GA and struggles with having missed the first few hours of her son's life. Because it was GA her partner wasn't allowed in the room either so for the first 20 minutes of his life he had nobody but medical staff with him. Obviously it was unavoidable and it was necessary to save her and her son's lives, but it's not the best start.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

It was slightly more traumatic this time because baby was early and not breathing well, so I didn't get to see him while they were sewing me up.  They briefly presented him to me and then whisked him away for about 5 hours to work on his airway.  I'm generally a very practical person rather than an overly emotional person and even though I knew it was brief and all for the best, I was so upset getting wheeled back to the room without him.  It was very different than the post-delivery euphoria I had holding my daughter.  It also meant I didn't put him down at all for the first several days - or really at all yet, honestly.  I couldn't put him in the bassinet because it was too far away from me, even just being a foot away.  We're all doing better now but I haen't gotten sick of watching him breathe.  Physically, I've healed amazingly and could have been back at work full time by the 2 week mark.

[louisa05]

On 1/16/2024 at 1:42 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

My thoughts are always do what you want with your hair and forget about cultural expectations and norms. I hate the idea that all women must have certain haircuts based on age/sex/religion. I have an actual negative reaction to seeing women in strict Pentecostal sects with hair past their knees. Because I know they don’t have a choice. Women and men should be able to choose what to do with their body without others shaming them or bullying.

 I am past 50 and have long hair. Of my college friends, only one has cut her hair short. Our mothers were firmly of the "you must cut your hair short after a certain age" generation and the age was somewhere around 35-40. I feel like Gen X doesn't care about those rules.