Josh and Anna 57: Singing the I'm Stuck in the SHU Blues

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

10 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

My 8 year old niece does too. Her paediatrician said it’s normal for kids with ADHD to wet the bed longer. My three year old is pretty good at using the potty during the day but has never been dry over night. She still needs oat milk to fall asleep and through out the night when she wakes up so her bladder is full. Her teeth are great and she is tiny so both her dentist and paediatrician have told me not to stress about her dependence on milk to sleep. She has never been a good sleeper. 

Oat milk isn't super high in calories (at least the brands I've seen). Can you give her something calorie denser?

Please ignore if this question is irrelevant/annoying. I have a toddler who sometimes wakes up hungry and is small so feel ya!

[Expectopatronus]

12 hours ago, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

Oat milk isn't super high in calories (at least the brands I've seen). Can you give her something calorie denser?

Please ignore if this question is irrelevant/annoying. I have a toddler who sometimes wakes up hungry and is small so feel ya!

 Not annoying at all! She is allergic to dairy so regular milk is out and I’m anaphylactic to nuts so that rules out almond, cashew milk etc. She won’t eat a snack before bed unfortunately. I kept her on Puramino Jr for as long as I could but it is hard to get where I live and super pricey. I weaned her off completely at 2.5 when she hit 25 lbs. If I can find it for a decent price, I could try that again at night. 

[Workingmom]

18 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

 Not annoying at all! She is allergic to dairy so regular milk is out and I’m anaphylactic to nuts so that rules out almond, cashew milk etc. She won’t eat a snack before bed unfortunately. I kept her on Puramino Jr for as long as I could but it is hard to get where I live and super pricey. I weaned her off completely at 2.5 when she hit 25 lbs. If I can find it for a decent price, I could try that again at night. 

Is soymilk maybe an option. It has more nutritional value . Both my daughters were allergic to dairy and drank soymilk after 18 months.

[Expectopatronus]

5 hours ago, Workingmom said:

Is soymilk maybe an option. It has more nutritional value . Both my daughters were allergic to dairy and drank soymilk after 18 months.

I asked her allergist about that and he said to avoid soy for now. We buy fortified oat milk so she gets vitamins and minerals but admittedly not much fats. I’m curious about goat milk so this may a conversation with her doctor. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

On 4/16/2023 at 10:55 AM, FeministShrew said:

Trigger warning :CSA

  Reveal hidden contents

I was sexually abused as a toddler and young child, by extended family members (and possibly a parent -I don’t want to think too much about that) and a neighbor. In addition to acting out in inappropriately sexual ways, I wet the bed until I was at least 11 or 12. Now (and even when my kids were little in the 90s), those would be red flags for parents, but I was laughed at shamed. 

I’d be very concerned about a parent who dismisses bed wetting issues.

Same. I guess amid all the abuse and neglect they decided to buy pull ups and ignore it. 

[lumpentheologie]

Late to this conversation, but I just wanted to say thanks to the parents who’ve talked about accidents and neurodiversity. I was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism in the last few years (in my late 30s). I still struggle with paying attention to my body and its needs when I’m wrapped up in what I’m doing, and while I haven’t had any accidents since I was a preteen (and that was traumatic enough) as an adult I’ve dealt with recurring urinary tract infections and pelvic floor issues from not peeing often enough. So just a heads up that you may want to continue to encourage your kids to remember to use the bathroom even when the accidents have stopped. 💙

[Father Son Holy Goat]

Have there been any Josh in the SHU updates?

[Coconut Flan]

He left the SHU, but still had weeks/months of visitor and commissary restrictions.

[Expectopatronus]

On 5/14/2023 at 9:07 AM, lumpentheologie said:

Late to this conversation, but I just wanted to say thanks to the parents who’ve talked about accidents and neurodiversity. I was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism in the last few years (in my late 30s). I still struggle with paying attention to my body and its needs when I’m wrapped up in what I’m doing, and while I haven’t had any accidents since I was a preteen (and that was traumatic enough) as an adult I’ve dealt with recurring urinary tract infections and pelvic floor issues from not peeing often enough. So just a heads up that you may want to continue to encourage your kids to remember to use the bathroom even when the accidents have stopped. 💙

Thank you for this!! My daughter uses the potty about 75% of the time but has two accidents per day and is not dry at night. She flies from one thing to the next and will be wheezing from running and still keep running. I can’t always get her to sit long enough to eat. Where I live, she won’t be assessed for ADHD until at least 7 but it helps to know that it isn’t necessarily my fault that she doesn’t always notice that she needs to go and will refuse while wetting her pants when I ask her to go. 
She was recently accepted into a different preschool than the one who rejected her so she has to be 100% accident free by September. 

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

He left the SHU, but still had weeks/months of visitor and commissary restrictions.

And a few months added to his sentence.

[flowergirl]

17 hours ago, marmalade said:

And a few months added to his sentence.

Why would he get months added? 

[OldFadedStar]

1 hour ago, flowergirl said:

Why would he get months added? 

I dont think *Technically* it was a few months added...

His initial release date included all the good behavior days from his entire sentence. So even though he was sentenced to 12.5 years I think, it was only like 11 years that he was going to serve. But he had some of those good behavior days revoked, therefore added back to his sentence. 

[Shannonsnarks]

Yep he will now be released 2 months later I believe that is if he doesn’t have more infractions which if he’s already had this a year in… there will be more 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

On 5/15/2023 at 11:00 PM, Coconut Flan said:

He left the SHU, but still had weeks/months of visitor and commissary restrictions.

For him the commissary restrictions were probably the worst.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

After watching the documentary, I understand much better why Josh and his victims minimized the abuse so much. Josh may well have thought that he hadn’t done anything wrong. ATI/IBLP was like a machine for manufacturing predators and victims. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I just thought of another benefit to the documentary and the books, won’t Josh’s fellow inmates be able to get their hands on these things and quote them to him? Little Governor is in for it! 

[Knight of Ni]

1 hour ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I just thought of another benefit to the documentary and the books, won’t Josh’s fellow inmates be able to get their hands on these things and quote them to him? Little Governor is in for it! 

Especially if he tried to downplay what he did to his sisters. The lies of they were asleep when it happen are blown wide open now

[Mama Mia]

On 6/3/2023 at 7:20 PM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

After watching the documentary, I understand much better why Josh and his victims minimized the abuse so much. Josh may well have thought that he hadn’t done anything wrong. ATI/IBLP was like a machine for manufacturing predators and victims. 

What I can’t work out in my head is how they can simultaneously be so dismissive and minimizing of sexual assault - but also have such incredibly stringent rules on normal consensual sexual behavior/curiosity? 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

What I can’t work out in my head is how they can simultaneously be so dismissive and minimizing of sexual assault - but also have such incredibly stringent rules on normal consensual sexual behavior/curiosity? 

It’s an extension of the fact that they treated 7-8 YO Jana and Jill as adults by placing them in charge of and responsible for 6 month babies, yet treated adult Jana and Jill like 5 YOs when it came to appropriate freedoms autonomy and life choices. It’s all so dysfunctional.

[lumpentheologie]

1 hour ago, Mama Mia said:

What I can’t work out in my head is how they can simultaneously be so dismissive and minimizing of sexual assault - but also have such incredibly stringent rules on normal consensual sexual behavior/curiosity? 

It’s super weird. But I think anything their own menfolk do would be treated fairly leniently. After all, they’re good Christians so it’s not really their fault if they’re tempted by a toddler’s shoulder or Satan builds a fortress in their heart. It’s their women and the rest of us evil sinners who get the full force of their judgment. 

[anjulibai]

2 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

What I can’t work out in my head is how they can simultaneously be so dismissive and minimizing of sexual assault - but also have such incredibly stringent rules on normal consensual sexual behavior/curiosity? 

Because it's not really about morality, but about controlling others. 

[Pammy]

3 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

What I can’t work out in my head is how they can simultaneously be so dismissive and minimizing of sexual assault - but also have such incredibly stringent rules on normal consensual sexual behavior/curiosity? 

Both attitudes stem from the same thing: it's because they believe in an excessively powerful version of "lust".

In the one case when boys/men "give in to lust" -- well, that's only to be expected. Lust is a primeval power that is nearly impossible to resist, and every male person must fight against it 24h-a-day for their whole lives. Such a difficult thing! Nobody's perfect! Mistakes are expected. Sexual assault is just one such mistake: repent and try not to do it again. Pornography is a mistake. Fantasy is a mistake. Kissing a girl is a mistake. Feeling curious while a diaper gets changed is a mistake. There are all kinds of mistakes, and they are all (allegedly) the same severity (they are all sins, and they are all lust) and they all have the same solution (repentance and forgiveness). There's no need for nuance.

In the other case, knowing that "lust" is such a horribly strong power, good people do all that they can to minimize how hard various situations are for the poor, poor menfolk to endure. A woman 'consenting' is just throwing gasoline on a fire: who would do that to someone? It doesn't make it better if the girl *wants* the boy to kiss her: it makes it worse. If she had been a better gatekeeper he would not have sinned. Therefore good women never consent to anything until marriage (when it's magically not lust any more) and they never display interest, show tempting flesh, or "lead someone on". The stringent rules "help" everybody cope with this terrible force.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

6 hours ago, Pammy said:

Both attitudes stem from the same thing: it's because they believe in an excessively powerful version of "lust".

In the one case when boys/men "give in to lust" -- well, that's only to be expected. Lust is a primeval power that is nearly impossible to resist, and every male person must fight against it 24h-a-day for their whole lives. Such a difficult thing! Nobody's perfect! Mistakes are expected. Sexual assault is just one such mistake: repent and try not to do it again. Pornography is a mistake. Fantasy is a mistake. Kissing a girl is a mistake. Feeling curious while a diaper gets changed is a mistake. There are all kinds of mistakes, and they are all (allegedly) the same severity (they are all sins, and they are all lust) and they all have the same solution (repentance and forgiveness). There's no need for nuance.

In the other case, knowing that "lust" is such a horribly strong power, good people do all that they can to minimize how hard various situations are for the poor, poor menfolk to endure. A woman 'consenting' is just throwing gasoline on a fire: who would do that to someone? It doesn't make it better if the girl *wants* the boy to kiss her: it makes it worse. If she had been a better gatekeeper he would not have sinned. Therefore good women never consent to anything until marriage (when it's magically not lust any more) and they never display interest, show tempting flesh, or "lead someone on". The stringent rules "help" everybody cope with this terrible force.

Or you could just, I don’t know, be normal and accept that people are sexual beings?

[OrchidBlossom]

I’ve been gone for forever (life, you know, gets in the way and such!) but I just watched the documentary and figured I had to come pop back in with y’all. It did definitely add a new layer and nuance to my understanding of how normalized this really is within quiverfull culture. Of course I knew that, but it’s hard to really *know* it because it seems so objectively wrong. 

[neuroticcat]

Well this is a disgusting clip circulating from Pa Keller.

He says the “Blacks” (enslaved people) from 150-years ago “humbled themselves & repented.”

(Of what he doesn’t say).

But God then acted via white presidents to end slavery? Plus he talks about kind good plantation owners. His whole point seems to be anti-civil rights protests. 
 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuCzFGYpt1a/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Edited June 29, 2023 by neuroticcat