'If your crap is Christian, I'll eat it' - a rant

[tehgoobster]

4Tu9moIJ3uM

unf... so beautiful

I am OBSESSED with Rachmaninoff's Vespers! "Now Let Thy Servant Depart" is my favorite. (Rachmaninoff is amazing in general, though. Don't even get me started on how much I love his Piano Concerto No. 2.)

Anyway, while we're on the subject of Christian art and entertainment, I think its biggest problem these days is that it's either too shallow or too preachy/overly didactic, especially at the expense of complexity and nuance. Two of my all-time favorite books are Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov and Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky was a devout Orthodox Christian, and his books are ultimately written from an Orthodox POV, but they're beloved by many atheists, Christians, and non-Christians alike. I think that part of the reason for that is because he understood how conflicted and flawed people could be; he understood that life could often be messy and painful and that there aren't always simple solutions for problems that may arise. It seems to me that in a lot of Christian entertainment these days, characters find Jesus and all is well. The trouble is, life doesn't always (or even usually) work that way. I guess what I'm trying to say is that a lot of modern Christian entertainment comes across as ... simplistic.

[tehgoobster]

I love SouthPark's take on it, with Cartman singing about making love to Jesus all day and night.

I love that episode!

"It seems you really love Christ. No, it appears that you are actually in love with Christ." :lol:

[Shirley MacLaine]

"I want to get down on my knees and start pleasin' Jesus,

I want to feel his sweet salvation all over my face"

[desertvixen]

It's just a rip off of the amazing Prince Of Egypt, a movie that has flawless fluid perfect animation (and music, Hans Zimmer is a genius) . There is no need to remake it in lifeless CGI animation with no texturing

I think I'm going to cry... what objection could they have had to the Prince of Egypt?

[Guest Anonymous]

I think I'm going to cry... what objection could they have had to the Prince of Egypt?

I can think of several:

No mention of Christianity

The characters were drawn as Semites, not Anglo-Saxons

[emmiedahl]

ffs, Christianity did not exist at the time!

I cry when they walk through the sea and sing. It was surprising when I saw the movie for the first time because of the Hebrew prayer. Apparently they consulted with rabbis to get the whole story right; I think they did a great job.

[jenny_islander]

The Judeo-Christian tradition uses metaphors about sheep that have nothing to do with the stew pot.

1. "All we like sheep have gone astray." People acting en masse can egg one another on to do really stupid things, the way sheep can wander into the pricker bushes, poisonous weeds, bogs, ravines . . .

2. Kings, spiritual teachers, and other leaders as shepherds. The shepherd must be patient, knowledgeable, gentle, and a strong defender. The bad shepherd abandons his sheep when danger strikes.

3. Jesus the Good Shepherd, with a lamb across His shoulders. The last I heard, the oldest dated depiction of Jesus used this visual metaphor. Good shepherds notice when a lamb is growing tired and carry it until it feels better. This metaphor has been twisted by modern fundamentalist preachers into the lie about "breaking the lambs leg" in order to make it stay close. Now there's a metaphor that leads to the stew pot.

[bbfreethinker]

1. "All we like sheep have gone astray." People acting en masse can egg one another on to do really stupid things, the way sheep can wander into the pricker bushes, poisonous weeds, bogs, ravines . . .

Kind of like Vision Forum and ATI followers? ;)

[emmiedahl]

It was a sheep herding society, so that was a parallel that the populace could understand. Sheep were wealth, like money. It seems silly in modern society, but I guess it was probably meaningful back then.

[jenny_islander]

At least one translation in a language of the circumpolar North uses baby seals as a replacement metaphor in some passages.

[library_youth]

The library I work in has the music CDs shelved by genre, including a little section for Christian music. I was helping a lady find some CDs once and one of them happened to be in that section, and she exclaimed, "Oh, you have a Christian section! So my tax dollars ARE going toward something good!" As if anything labeled Christian automatically = good, and anything else = not good. Whatever. I kind of wanted to tell her "Well, actually, YOUR specific tax dollars went toward our collection of Richard Dawkins books." :twisted:

[Marian the Librarian]

The library I work in has the music CDs shelved by genre, including a little section for Christian music. I was helping a lady find some CDs once and one of them happened to be in that section, and she exclaimed, "Oh, you have a Christian section! So my tax dollars ARE going toward something good!" As if anything labeled Christian automatically = good, and anything else = not good. Whatever. I kind of wanted to tell her "Well, actually, YOUR specific tax dollars went toward our collection of Richard Dawkins books." :twisted:

Oh, to be a fly on the wall to watch that scenario unfold!! :clap:

[Too Many Fundies]

Anyone ever seen the animated movie The Ten Commandments? Me nether but I've watched some clips on youtube and it's clearly awful.

I do not get the point of making this expect to sell it to suckers. It's just a rip off of the amazing Prince Of Egypt, a movie that has flawless fluid perfect animation (and music, Hans Zimmer is a genius) . There is no need to remake it in lifeless CGI animation with no texturing :evil:

There's some other really bad ugly Christian animated movies that I know of, but I can't think of them right now :think:

I haven't seen it, but that clip really makes me mourn the death of cel-based animation. The Prince of Egypt was good. There's no reason to make another version of the same story just because the technology is "better". A lot of CGI just has no life to it (this isn't saying it all does, Pixar, anyone?).

[Deleted12]

Man, when HailSeitan (nee LeftyMom) and I went to Bethel church, the music was AWFUL, just AWFUL.

It was so vapid and it just didn't end.

I felt like an animal caught in a leg hold trap... I just wanted to chew off my own leg to escape the horror.

But the worst part was that the people in the church were acting like they were at Woodstock.

[Deleted05]

This is what pisses me off the most about fundies.

Not true. For those who look exactly like them, there's always Gleaning the Harvest:

http://gleaningtheharvest.com/

[emmiedahl]

I just want to say that Gleaning the Harvest is such a blessing. Here I was, wondering how to support my family without working or having to deal with all those social workers. These families have been gifted up to $115 each in the past year! That will certainly keep them in food, rent, shoes and medical care. Christian charities are amazing. I don't know why we need so much pesky government involvement when the faith community is so generous.

For poor women who want to homeschool but cannot afford books, the Dixons have a page on their site dedicated to homeschooling for free. Check it out! http://gleaningtheharvest.com/?page_id=16 According to this site, all I need are a few free religious printables and the occasional nature walk to educate my kids. I thought they needed math and language arts; the Dixons have convicted me that God's way is always enough.

In addition, the Dixons let us know about all the MLM opportunities out there! Now I can use my last pennies to be in their downstream! Great people. This is such a blessed opportunity for the poor! http://gleaningtheharvest.com/?p=1776 I can make tons of money from the comfort of my home! Yah-some!

/sarcasm

[lovelyinblack]

Anyone ever seen the animated movie The Ten Commandments? Me nether but I've watched some clips on youtube and it's clearly awful.

I do not get the point of making this expect to sell it to suckers. It's just a rip off of the amazing Prince Of Egypt, a movie that has flawless fluid perfect animation (and music, Hans Zimmer is a genius) . There is no need to remake it in lifeless CGI animation with no texturing

^ This

I've seen the first part of the ten commandments so far and all i can say right now is.... GAAAAAAAHH!!! The animation is awful the and dialog is horrid!! I'm going to watch the rest of this piece of crap and post my review.

[MyName]

Interrupting my reading on pg one to say...

I am a Christian, and I watch R-rated movies, if they're done well. :o

Yeah me too. I own The Hangover and Bridesmaids and have seen The Campaign and will probably buy it. Husband and I run around quoting Hangover jokes to each other.

[salsa]

Like the title of this thread... reminds me of a line spoken at The Marburg Colloquy, by, I believe, Martin Luther.... while discussing the specifics of Holy Communion

(he said, "If God had commanded me to eat dung, I'd do it...")

edited to add that last line because I'm in ah urry and I posted too quickly. Off to work now.

[lizziesmom]

Thanks for the rant. No.really. I have had the same thought. Why does Christian=better? wtf?

My step-grandmother recently fell and broke her hip while on vacation. She had to be put in a rehab facility in the area until she was well enough to travel home. They were substandard to say the least. When my mother showed up in town and started throwing tantrums to licensing, someone told her that the facility is run by 'good Christian people'. So that makes it okay that they are charging Medicare for rehab when there is not a single person trained in rehabilitating in the facility. We moved Grandma home early using an expensive medical transport, but that one stuck in Mom's craw in a serious way.

Apparently Jews just don't realize how important it is to be Christian.

I am not Jewish but this just points out how ridiculous the whole "Christian" thing is. Fundies hold it up like it's a good thing and it's going entice me in. They don't realize that to me trumpeting the 'good Christian' deal has the opposite effect. I am automatically suspect and disinclined to listen to whatever is being sold.

[lizziesmom]

Left Behind - oh yikes! I only tried to read one, but that is some bad writing. FWIW, I think they are way more popular in fundie lite and mainstream evangelical circles than with actual fundies. I've heard a lot of fundies trash them.

Kinda unrelated: I always get the title of the books mixed up with Left Below, the hilarious Simpsons parody. :lol:

The authors of the Left Behind series use their profits to fund 'acceptable' political candidates. Be warned.

[caito]

OP (is OP still around? lol) I LOVE YOUR AVATAR OMG MORLA FTW <3

I shrivel up and die every time someone mentions that one of the fundie films is their favorite. "I love Fireproof it saved my marriage!" Like if they like that crap, what else do they like? Are they fans of horrible comedies like Paul Blart and...I dunno...some random Eddie Murphy movie? I'm such a movie snob. *sticks nose in air*

[Deleted01]

Anyone ever seen the animated movie The Ten Commandments? Me nether but I've watched some clips on youtube and it's clearly awful.

I do not get the point of making this expect to sell it to suckers. It's just a rip off of the amazing Prince Of Egypt, a movie that has flawless fluid perfect animation (and music, Hans Zimmer is a genius) . There is no need to remake it in lifeless CGI animation with no texturing :evil:

There's some other really bad ugly Christian animated movies that I know of, but I can't think of them right now :think:

I am gobsmacked that they've defrauded my beloved Prince of Egypt with a cheap substitute. To this day, I cry when Moses' mother sends him down the river. And when they cross the Red Sea. My daughters did a ballet dance to "Miracles" one year....and I cried.

ETA I'm a former (and repentant) Left Behind kool-aid drinker. Even when I agreed with the dispensational premise, it became crystal clear around book #3 that they were purposely stretching things out to sell more books. I was so disgusted with "Glorious Appearing" I didn't read anything else after that. If they cut out all the times that Scripture was quoted, GA would have been about 5 pages long. Not to mention the fact that Paul Meier wrote The Third Millenium in 1993 (pre-LB) which basically was the entire LB series in one book.

[Swamptribe]

It's ironic, but any person, or business that has ever cheated, or tried to cheat me in the past has presented themselves as 'christian'. I am not trying to claim here that Christians are dishonest. The pattern I noticed is that 'christian' is used as a marketing ploy by many businesses and individuals to try and portray themselves as more honest and trustworthy than their competitors. The Christian market is huge here in the US, and businesses try to take advantage of that.

[jenny_islander]

This is what pisses me off the most about fundies.

Unfortunately it isn't just the fundies who fall prey to this. My own Anglican congregation was all a-boil over that bishop (not in our diocese) who was not only gay, but married to a woman. Some people were angry because he had come out and others were angry because he had broken his vows. In the midst of the brouhaha, the priest read a letter in lieu of her sermon. The letter was from a bishop in Nigeria, pointing out that while he agreed that fornication was a sin, did we know that for about 12 cents a day we could keep one more Nigerian kid from dying of the shits due to there being no water purification system in the country at all?

Yeah, we shut up about Bishop Robinson's Johnson after that. :oops:

EDITED for accuracy.