Katie and Travis 5: Baby Makes Three

[CanadianMamam]

33 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

Yes, and while unlimited one on one attention is not ideal either, normal size families will always make the time and have enough attention to focus ONLY on the newborn. My son wasn’t the first grandchild on either side, but you bet both sets of grandparents were and are taking the time to get to know him properly and focus on just him. It works because they only have 3-4 (and no more counting). 

I'm an only child, so I obviously got lots of one-on-one time and I know how much I appreciated it, so I make a point of spending time with my 3 kids one-on-one. But it is a lot easier to do that with 3 than 19. 

I am not the oldest grandchild on either side but I am the youngest on one side and was very much "the baby" (my cousin's on that side are much older), so again plenty of one-on-one time and formed close relationships with my family because of it. 

[Dandruff]

On 4/27/2023 at 10:26 PM, CanadianMamam said:

It is a combination of Kayla and Cameron (her husband). 

They could name a daughter "Camera"...

[GreenBeans]

11 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

They could name a daughter "Camera"...

Anyone else thinking of siblings “Cameron” and “Pameron” on Modern Family? 😂

[Nothing if not critical]

My maternal grandparents had 26 grandchildren and honestly no personal relationship to any of us, as far as I know. I used to meet them twice a year for Christmas and Easter. My grandma was busy cooking and then spent the rest of the day sitting in an armchair smiling and not saying much. My grandpa would take the whole gaggle of grandkids out for a walk in the woods. We adored him but I have no memory of ever talking to him one on one. Of course I was one of the younger grands and they were pretty old by then (they died when I was a teen). My older cousins may have different memories.

 

[0 kids n not countin]

Bradley was the first Bates grandchild, correct? Did he get this much attention after he was born?  It's hard for me to recall.

[freethemall]

1 hour ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

Bradley was the first Bates grandchild, correct? Did he get this much attention after he was born?  It's hard for me to recall.

Bradley came first but then within a few months Allie Jane and Carson were born and then it was all fast and furious from there. I think they did get a lot of attention but also the Bates didn't have nearly the same kind of social media presence with everyone being semi-influencers documenting everything in YouTube vlogs and perfectly filtered instagram posts.

Here's a list of all the Bates grandkids with birthdates, via Fundie Wiki:

https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Bates_Grandchildren

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, freethemall said:

Bradley came first but then within a few months Allie Jane and Carson were born and then it was all fast and furious from there. I think they did get a lot of attention but also the Bates didn't have nearly the same kind of social media presence with everyone being semi-influencers documenting everything in YouTube vlogs and perfectly filtered instagram posts.

Here's a list of all the Bates grandkids with birthdates, via Fundie Wiki:

https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Bates_Grandchildren

And when Bradley was born, Jeb and Judson were still toddlers. It Is hard to gush too much over your grandchildren when you have small children of your own.

Edited April 29, 2023 by CanadianMamam

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Bradley was the one I believe that KJ went out and bought an insane amount of toys at a thrift shop for him. And didn't they have a large party for his 1st? With more toys?

[front hugs > duggs]

30 minutes ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

Bradley was the one I believe that KJ went out and bought an insane amount of toys at a thrift shop for him. And didn't they have a large party for his 1st? With more toys?

Yes, this is right. And I believe they also announced baby number 2 at his first party. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

KJ treats her two youngest boys like her grandchildren. They have less rules and more toys than the older ones. 

[gobucks]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

KJ treats her two youngest boys like her grandchildren. They have less rules and more toys than the older ones. 

You can tell this is true because Zach will make snarky comments sometimes about the older kids and the younger kids in the family. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, gobucks said:

You can tell this is true because Zach will make snarky comments sometimes about the older kids and the younger kids in the family. 

It’s bound to happen in a family with 19. Josie is babied in the Duggar family, Janessa is babied in the Rod family. And the two boys are spoiled in the Bates family. 

[GreenBeans]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s bound to happen in a family with 19. Josie is babied in the Duggar family, Janessa is babied in the Rod family. And the two boys are spoiled in the Bates family. 

Yep. The parents are in “grandparent mode” by then. And another thing that is easy to forget: of course the attention the two youngest boys get will make it seem like they’re spoiled, because it is such a stark contrast compared to the older kids who grew up between 19 siblings, but compared to an average family with two kids it’s probably just normal attention.

Edited April 30, 2023 by GreenBeans
Riffles

[HeartsAFundie]

On 4/29/2023 at 1:34 AM, GreenBeans said:

Even though they all claim to make sure 1:1 time happens, it’s literally impossible to make it happen in any meaningful way. Their days don’t have more than 24 hours either, and between sleep, chores, school (*cough*), church, family activities and work (at least for the fathers), that probably adds up to leaving something like 1 hour of undivided parental attention per child per month, and that’s if and when it fits into the schedule, not necessarily when that child would NEED their parents. There’s no way these parents really know their kids and are there for them whenever they need them.

My dad's best friend's sister had 10 children.  The oldest was born in 1955-1956 and the youngest was born in 1974-1975.  I asked my dad's friend very recently whatever happened to all 10 of them.  Here's what he told me: #1 got involved with drugs and died in his 40s; #2 married, divorced, remarried and has two adult sons from the first marriage that don't talk to her as everyone in the family, who apparently don't bother with her either, sees her as a conniving shrew;  #3 developed severe MS and is in a nursing home; #4 graduated college, married, has at least 2 daughters, owns a home and works full time (he is the most successful of all 10 according to my dad's friend); #5 is a happy, non-hurting soul who has never worked, collects SSI for mental issues, has a couple of kids and lives with his long-term girlfriend; #6 married young, had several kids and became a Jehovah's Witness; #7 married, had kids, left his wife to make meth in the Midwest (I believe #1 joined him at one point) has been off the grid for years and on a deadbeat dad list for owing an ungodly amount of child support; #8 married young, had at least one child, struggles a bit financially but surviving; #9 married HS sweetheart, divorced, remarried, had 2 kids, then second husband died of a brain tumor; #10, the youngest, pretty much said "Screw it",  moved to the western part of the state, apparently keeps to himself and is not in close contact with his siblings.  He also told me that one of them-either #1 or #3-was homeless at one point.   

After listening to my dad's friend, there is no way I believe that kids in double digit families get all the care, help and attention that they should. How could any parent be physically and mentally available for all these diverse life scenarios that their kids are going through?   

 

Edited May 1, 2023 by HeartsAFundie

[Kiki03910]

On 4/28/2023 at 9:26 PM, GreenBeans said:

It’s crazy, there is no way all these grand kids have any kind of meaningful relationship with their grandparents. How is anyone supposed to keep track of that many grandchildren? They’ll have to focus and keep a calendar to even remember to send everyone a birthday card, there is simply no way they will be able to keep track of all 24 (and counting…) kids’ individual personalities and get to know them by more than name and age.

Just like their own kids, I'd say.

[Keys]

Katie posted that single use plastic bags are banned in New Jersey now, with a pic of the trunk of their car filled with loose groceries. Is that new in the US? We haven’t had plastic bags for quite some time where I am in Canada… people bring reusable bags or baskets to the grocery stores. 
 

 

[SassyPants]

I’m in CA and we’ve been using reusable bags for many years. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Some states have banned plastic grocery bags. Most states have not. 

I bring my own bags and most cashiers don't seem confused. Bur new cashiers don't know what to do. And other shoppers sometimes give me funny looks.

Edited May 5, 2023 by WatchingTheTireFireBurn

[Tdoc72]

49 minutes ago, Keys said:

Katie posted that single use plastic bags are banned in New Jersey now, with a pic of the trunk of their car filled with loose groceries. Is that new in the US? We haven’t had plastic bags for quite some time where I am in Canada… people bring reusable bags or baskets to the grocery stores. 
 

 

I’m in New Jersey (not far from them actually). The bag ban here in NJ started almost a year ago.  I think Delaware and Maryland have it to but not sure about rest of the US. It’s really not a big deal after you get used to it. I have a reusable bag of reusable bags in my car and just grab what I think I’ll need. If I do forget them, I just put stuff back in the cart and bag when I get to the car. Besides big items like toilet paper or jugs of milk, my car never looks like theirs. That’s poor planning and a zillion trips to the car to bring it all in. It’s better for the environment and the stores are probably saving money on buying bags (not that the pass the savings to consumers). The only downside for me is I used the plastic shopping bags for cat litter so I had to do something else. 

[Nothing if not critical]

We don't actually own a car, so we do all of our shopping on foot and I always bring four or five bags with me. I've done so for years, and on the rare occasions when I'm shopping spontaneously or forget the bags, I'll just buy a new reusable bag for our collection.

But I remember going shopping in the car with my parents way back in the eighties, and we always had a bunch of foldable boxes in the trunk. You can just leave them in the car, since they don't take up much space when folded, and you can just pack your stuff directly from the cart in the parking lot. 

There are so many simple and practical solutions that don't involve plastic bags...

[CanadianMamam]

6 hours ago, Keys said:

Katie posted that single use plastic bags are banned in New Jersey now, with a pic of the trunk of their car filled with loose groceries. Is that new in the US? We haven’t had plastic bags for quite some time where I am in Canada… people bring reusable bags or baskets to the grocery stores. 
 

 

I'm in Canada too and it was a slow roll here. We have had reusable grocery bags forever, but until last summer most places still offered plastic bags for a fee and then most of them stopped. The last grocery chain to still offer plastic bags stopped last month. 

I hate it, not because of the bags so much but because I use plastic bags to scoop my cat litter as they were the perfect size. 

[HereticHick]

Some folks in the US have been using reusable bags for years--esp. because some grocery chains encouraged them (or provided a discount), or if they shop at farmers markets, organic stores etc. Although we've been slower to adopt than Europe or Canada, it isn't like reusable bags are a brand new thing. A number of states ban plastic bags altogether, and in other places, individual counties (like mine in Maryland) and cities have banned them, or charge 5 cents for them.  Its ridiculous for Katy to act like this was a surprise. She should partner with some reusable bag companies and do some social media promotions.

If I remember correctly, ALDI, a favorite of fundies, charges for bags nationwide.

 

For a list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plastic_bag_bans_in_the_United_States 

[front hugs > duggs]

I saw that and shouted as my screen "get reusable bags dummy! it doesn't have to be like that". Common sense is not common in those circles apparently.

[SassyPants]

Full disclosure- since Covid I rarely go into a grocery store. I use Instacart and pay for delivery. Truthfully, I have been sick or caring for a sick family member for the past 5 months. It started with my husband, my dad, my mom and finally me. I’ve had the flu twice (both A and B), resulting bronchitis for 12 weeks now and Norovirus. I was really strict with isolation, masking, distancing and eased up last Fall, and BAM. I’ve had 2 Covid vaccines + 3 boosters and my annual flu shot. I’m one of those rare people who has never tested + for Covid. I really think isolating worked.

1 hour ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I saw that and shouted as my screen "get reusable bags dummy! it doesn't have to be like that". Common sense is not common in those circles apparently.

I think they train out and discourage common sense and problem solving because that gets people thinking, questioning and making different decisions.

[Smash!]

I get why plastic bags are banned. Still it annoys me. I‘m one of those spontaneous shoppers and usually when I‘m in a shop I either just forgot to put my reusable bag back in my backpack or it‘s too small for the things I bought and I end up paying for another bag. 

What I would like more than banning those bags is to recycle them: One of the grocery stores here just started a project where you can buy big bags, fill them with all the plastic you‘d usually throw in the trash, return the bag and they recycle it.