Maxwell 56: Mary Found Freedom to Get Engaged

[SassyPants]

Oh man the HCP discussion. I am currently in a circuitous battle with the state of CA about a HCP for my nearing 90 parents. My mom recently broke her back d/t my father falling and knocking her down in the process. My mom is using a walker and my dad, the one with even greater balance issues, is using a cane. So much BS back and forthing. As if late 80 YOs are gaming the system.

[Coconut Flan]

Why so hard?  My Mom's doctor signed the form I filled out and the state processed it.  I already had one for me, but got one for Mom so when the kids drove her they'd have a legal one.  

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Why so hard?  My Mom's doctor signed the form I filled out and the state processed it.  I already had one for me, but got one for Mom so when the kids drove her they'd have a legal one.  

Back and forthing with needing additional information from the Dr. It’s been since September- We’ve been trying to do it all online, as we live 3 hours from my folks.

[Bethy]

On 1/9/2023 at 12:51 AM, DonutWench said:

It’s dumb regardless, but that reads to me as “don’t do it one campus” vs. “don’t do it at all,” so it doesn’t seem like they would.

It's kind of a crapshoot what's actually enforced, particularly if this was done during Christmas vacation. I know there were people at my fundie-lite college who got in trouble for drinking during a break, and at some point they amended the handbook to say that dancing at family events such as weddings was not a handbook offense (to differentiate between doing the Chicken Dance at your cousin's wedding vs. going clubbing every weekend, as there were apparently people worried about the former when the rule really was about the latter.) So rules like drinking and dancing "counted" off campus, even on breaks between terms, but no one was saying you had to be in class dress from 8-4 every day or speak in a quiet voice in the hallway between 7PM and 7AM while you were home, so I'm not really sure where the line was as far as what was enforced.

9 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I'd be looking through Song of Solomon - I think there's some behavior in there that might shock them. 

Or Genesis. There's a whole lot "hand under his thigh" that went along with covenants that were made between men. And I think thigh is a polite term. Apparently "testify" has a lot to do with the part of the male anatomy that it kinda sorta sounds like.

Edited January 11, 2023 by Bethy
Wrong word

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Back and forthing with needing additional information from the Dr. It’s been since September- We’ve been trying to do it all online, as we live 3 hours from my folks.

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but that's crazy.  I've heard of a couple applications denied (reasonably) but never back and forth like that.  Mr. Flan took mine into the nearest DMV office and I had Mom with me when I took hers in.  They asked Mr. Flan why I didn't bring my own paperwork in and he said she's in too much pain to get in here from the parking lot and that ended that.  One look at my 87 or 88 year old mother and nothing was said at all.  Maybe they've been overwhelmed with dubious online claims since the pandemic.  That's all I have.  

[Expectopatronus]

12 hours ago, 4boysmum said:

We have a placard for our son and we absolutely only use it when he is getting in or out of the car.  Sometimes we can't get a handicapped spot at a busy place like the grocery store-- there are many valid reasons to qualify for a placard, and often more cars with placards than available spots.  If I can get a regular spot that's still reasonably close to the door I will sometimes take it to leave the handicapped spot for someone with bulkier equipment like a wheelchair (my son mostly uses forearm crutches and doesn't need the extra space if he's not in his chair).  People who have been living with disabilities long-term understand the struggle and usually try to help each other out.

So, yeah, it does really grind my gears when I see cars without placards taking up the spots, or people who have placards for family members but abuse the privilege.  Especially when they use the "I'll only be here for a minute" excuse while my kid with crutches and braces halfway up his thighs, who can't feel his lower legs and feet at all, is trying to walk across the parking lot, slipping on ice, and falling (yes, this really happened to us once).

The other thing that drives me crazy is people with no kids or older kids using the spots for parents with young children. I’m trying to carry a toddler who will not ride in the cart, push the cart through a snowy parking lot and a young couple got into their flashy car and peeled away. They took a spot labeled as reserved for families with young kids which meant I was at the far end of the lot. Grrr

[anniebgood]

I have disabled license plates and sometimes get the side eye from people who think I don't have the placard and are taking up a spot. My back is very bad so it's a silent disability. I have a placard but it's in the 2nd car just in case. 
When I got the license plates I just went into AAA and showed my placard and asked if it was possible. It was and I got them. 

[SassyPants]

7 hours ago, Zee said:

Anna’s “friend” went to Kansas for Christmas break per ABC Instagram story 🤭

I hope this is a positive in Anna’s life. Of all the Maxwell women she seems the most naturally equipped to be an energetic and enthusiastic wife and mother. 

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but that's crazy.  I've heard of a couple applications denied (reasonably) but never back and forth like that.  Mr. Flan took mine into the nearest DMV office and I had Mom with me when I took hers in.  They asked Mr. Flan why I didn't bring my own paperwork in and he said she's in too much pain to get in here from the parking lot and that ended that.  One look at my 87 or 88 year old mother and nothing was said at all.  Maybe they've been overwhelmed with dubious online claims since the pandemic.  That's all I have.  

Maybe it’s because we’ve never gone into a DMV office? 

[HeartsAFundie]

I had a temporary handicapped placard issued to me for a year in June 2019 while undergoing a bilateral hip replacement-both hips were done within 9 weeks of each other.  It was supposed to be for 6 months but I argued for an additional 6 because I was returning to work in January, I live in New England and with my later work start time I would be relegated to parking in the back of the lot where it was much icier, so naturally I had a fear of falling.  If I lived in a warmer climate I never would have asked for the extension.  Then in March 2020 the pandemic hit.  I was working remotely then so the whole thing became a non-issue and I ended up sending the placard back before it expired.  Plus I was doing much better so why keep something I don't really need?  Save the parking spaces for those that need them. 

Edited January 11, 2023 by HeartsAFundie

[Coconut Flan]

27 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Maybe it’s because we’ve never gone into a DMV office? 

It's possible.  If they see two frail older people with assistive devices it just might end the run around.  At any rate you should get an instant response.  With Mom's state ID there was an issue and I was able to say I was there at both the divorce and re-marriage and the supervisor had me sign as a witness and they quit quibbling over Mom needing every single document to just get an ID.  

[Queen Of Hearts]

9 hours ago, Zee said:

Anna’s “friend” went to Kansas for Christmas break per ABC Instagram story 🤭

Who is Anna's friend?

[ClareDeLune]

9 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Who is Anna's friend?

I presume it means Alex Eichhorn but I didn't see anything on insta.  But I only know of @ABCAdmissions I presume there are other accounts.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I saw the story up on Instagram and Alex did say he got the chance to go to Kansas when asked his favorite part of winter break. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I don't usually follow this forum, but I saw the announcement pic, and had to ask if anybody has suggested 'Maxhell 57: Fifty Shades of Sam & Mary' as a topic title?

[Zee]

2 hours ago, ClareDeLune said:

I presume it means Alex Eichhorn but I didn't see anything on insta.  But I only know of @ABCAdmissions I presume there are other accounts.

Yes that is who I meant. I couldn’t remember his name. 

[HereticHick]

Perhaps the photo shoot location? https://www.cafeequinox.com/ 

[ClareDeLune]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I saw the story up on Instagram and Alex did say he got the chance to go to Kansas when asked his favorite part of winter break. 

Was it on ABCAdmissions?  I feel like there must be another account I'm missing but I have searched and cant find anything.  I'm not asking for private info, but if there is a public college account I'd love to know, please 😃

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, ClareDeLune said:

Was it on ABCAdmissions?  I feel like there must be another account I'm missing but I have searched and cant find anything.  I'm not asking for private info, but if there is a public college account I'd love to know, please 😃

I think it was. I think it was on their Instagram stories.

[ClareDeLune]

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it was. I think it was on their Instagram stories.

ah ok thanks. I must be more dilligent in my ABC study!

[indianabones]

1 hour ago, ClareDeLune said:

ah ok thanks. I must be more dilligent in my ABC study!

Don't worry, we'll have you reciting the alphabet in no time!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

So, with this Alex--does that mean Anna may tie the knot, too? All the Maxwells, hatched and matched and ready to hatch new little Maxwells?

[ClareDeLune]

3 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

So, with this Alex--does that mean Anna may tie the knot, too? All the Maxwells, hatched and matched and ready to hatch new little Maxwells?

I kind of hope not.  He's only 22 and no matter how good-hearted he is, that is quite an age difference.  Anna is the one who has tech skills, construction skills, all the outdoorsy sporting interest as well as the children and home-making skills. She is still young enough to do whatever she wants with her degree before settling down.  I would love to see her go off and forge her own path.

She has been pretty much brought up to be some man's helper though, so maybe Alex will strike it lucky (If being a Max son-in-law isn't a dealbreaker).

[JermajestyDuggar]

It would be kind of nice if Anna is just you know, dating. And not rushing into marriage with Alex. And if they break up, that’s ok. 2 of her brothers had broken courtships/engagements and they moved on with life. Not all romantic relationships end in marriage. Nor should they.

[HereticHick]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It would be kind of nice if Anna is just you know, dating. And not rushing into marriage with Alex. And if they break up, that’s ok. 2 of her brothers had broken courtships/engagements and they moved on with life. Not all romantic relationships end in marriage. Nor should they.

It would also be nice if Alex is simply a platonic friend to Anna (and Mary and Samuel--aren't they on the soccer team together?)

[danvillebelle]

Random college rules rant from my alma mater, which was not fundie in the least, just Christian - young women who were caught fooling around in their dorm rooms with a guy were seriously punished, sometimes to the point of being expelled.  BUT - if a girl got pregnant on campus then scurried away and *married* the father, they were welcomed with open arms.