Maxwell 56: Mary Found Freedom to Get Engaged

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Steve's stepmother Cecile Bargar is on the list.

Did she attend the other weddings? 

[Caroline]

How are you seeing who's on the invitation list?

[Bethy]

18 hours ago, BigSandy said:

Oh man, they're DANCING in that second pic! Amazing!

See, for me it's not the pearl clutching about the "dancing" here - it's the fact that she's twirling. Think about this: it's a pretty standard part of childhood for most girls, something that's spontaneous and free. I loved twirling around in elementary school, loved getting dizzy enough to fall over. My daughter is that age now and always wants to twirl, wants me to twirl with her, wants me to take pics or video of her twirling. And unless we're in a tight space with sharp edges where she could fall and get hurt, I'm good with it, because I know I'll blink and she'll be a sullen teen camped out in her room staring at her phone. But think about Mary's childhood - we know from pics of the early days of the dog and pony show that she was swathed in a dresses that fit her more like a sleeping bag. We know from NR-Anna's posts that her days are so scheduled that she'd at one point set aside 15 minutes after lunch for Joshua to work on puzzles while she got the girls down for naps, and we know where we learned to do that. Was there time on the all-important schedule for twirling? Would it have been construed as "dancing" or some sort of vanity? Would her enormous dresses have gotten in the way? Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit on this but there's a kernel of truth there. I'm happy to see her twirling with her fiance, and looking very happy and free doing so.

[duggerme]

2 hours ago, Bethy said:

it's the fact that she's twirling. Think about this: it's a pretty standard part of childhood for most girls, something that's spontaneous and free. I loved twirling around in elementary school, loved getting dizzy enough to fall over. My daughter is that age now and always wants to twirl, wants me to twirl with her, wants me to take pics or video of her twirling. And unless we're in a tight space with sharp edges where she could fall and get hurt, I'm good with it,

my daughter was a twirler, well into high school.  In fact, she broke her foot by twirling and hitting the couch when she was 16.  She thought it was great, because she was able to use the close-in parking and the elevator at school as long as she wore the boot (walking cast), and could skip cheer practice. she kept the boot and used it to get early boarding a few times when she flew home from college and had a tight turnaround when she had something to go to when she was coming home.  (we used Southwest, so pre-boarding meant she got a seat closer to the front of the plane).  thanks for bring back a fun memory!

[Maggie Mae]

On 1/7/2023 at 2:12 PM, indianabones said:

I think a plant nursery is a bit of an odd place to take engagement photos, but I suppose your options are limited in winter if you don't want snow in your pictures.

I don't think it's that weird, but I do love that they have continued the Maxwell tradition of not checking the background for random objects like grocery carts, water bottles, and wet floor signs. 😂

Or maybe Christopher took these as well. 

Also their initials are S&M and I am 13 again, snickering at that. 

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, Caroline said:

How are you seeing who's on the invitation list?

This. What are we not seeing?

[Bethy]

9 minutes ago, marmalade said:

This. What are we not seeing?

It's a search bar. You have to type in the first and last name of the guest you think is going. Be very careful that you don't accidentally RSVP for somebody (I won't do it on my phone for that very reason.) You have to know first AND last and I wouldn't have thought to look for Steve's stepmother, plus I didn't know her first name.

Actually it's a little unnerving that this sort of thing exists. If you had a stalker, if they're a very good stalker they know who your friends are. They can find what events you're invited to just by locating the event website and searching your first and last name.

20 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't think it's that weird, but I do love that they have continued the Maxwell tradition of not checking the background for random objects like grocery carts, water bottles, and wet floor signs. 😂

Or maybe Christopher took these as well. 

Meh, this doesn't look like a proper engagement shoot, just a few casual pics taken by a friend with a decent cell phone. They needed pics for The Knot site and it was a good opportunity to twirl in a greenhouse and share a coffee.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

It does look like Samuel and Mary have touched before. However according to Appalachian Bible College:

Quote

2. Display of Affection There is to be no display of affection through physical contact (including holding hands) on the part of non-married couples on or off campus. Physical contact between members of the same gender must be within the bounds of biblically acceptable behavior.

It's from the student handbook. I hope they don't get in trouble for the photos. It's a really dumb policy.

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Physical contact between members of the same gender must be within the bounds of biblically acceptable behavior.

Please tell me exactly where in the Bible it outlines acceptable behavior and specifically prohibits holding hands.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve read from people who attended strict Bible colleges that a lot of the smaller rules weren’t actually enforced. I would be surprised if that rule was mostly ignored. 

[Granwych]

8 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Guess he won't be doing the photography for this one.

Guess the pictures will be better for this wedding, then.   

On 1/7/2023 at 10:03 PM, ClareDeLune said:

Every time someone tells a fun story I have gone to look it up, and I have learned that there is rarely any exaggeration or hyperbole here that could beat the bonkers things the Maxwells have done for real in their family.

When someone explained on here why you might want to get permission to smash eggs in a supermarket for the other illustration that was mentioned, it all made sense to me, and I think we do enjoy laughing at stories that have grown larger with the telling, sometimes.  But the treed cat is amazing.  I didn't even know that the verb 'to tree' something even existed, it sounds like something made up for a joke 🤣

The mom's hair is magnificent, she should have had the floating head honour for managing to extend her hair so far out from her scalp 🤣

“Teased up to Jesus,” as the saying goes.

[DonutWench]

3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It does look like Samuel and Mary have touched before. However according to Appalachian Bible College:

It's from the student handbook. I hope they don't get in trouble for the photos. It's a really dumb policy.

It’s dumb regardless, but that reads to me as “don’t do it one campus” vs. “don’t do it at all,” so it doesn’t seem like they would.

[indianabones]

13 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Large garden centers (our local chain is Molbak's) often have coffee shops inside.

Wait, there's more than one Molbak's?

[LurkerOverThePond]

A little late to the party, but those are some nice and fresh photos of them! They look absolutely smitten with each other. And I actually like the plant nursery idea for a photo shoot - it's definitely different and hopefully something they are both into. The last photo of them sitting and sharing a coffee is really nice and yeah, his hand is NOT in Steve-approved place... Go Mary and Sam!

[quiversR4hunting]

22 hours ago, duggerme said:

my daughter was a twirler, well into high school.  In fact, she broke her foot by twirling and hitting the couch when she was 16.  She thought it was great, because she was able to use the close-in parking and the elevator at school as long as she wore the boot (walking cast), and could skip cheer practice. she kept the boot and used it to get early boarding a few times when she flew home from college and had a tight turnaround when she had something to go to when she was coming home.  (we used Southwest, so pre-boarding meant she got a seat closer to the front of the plane).  thanks for bring back a fun memory!

What do you mean "close-in" parking? If you mean handicap spots, please tell me she had a handicap placard to use the spot. Also when she didn't need the boot I hope she stopped using a handicap spot or "close-in" spot. 

I get extremely ticked off when I see people block handicap spots - "just picking up someone quickly", someone parks over the diagonal lines used for wheel chair entrance and exit from the vehicle or block a ramp to side walks or park in a handicap spot without a placard or plate. I confront people about or put a postcard in their windshield that explains the rules.

Everyone that doesn't need handicap parking should be thankful they are able bodied and don't need the accommodation. 

[Coconut Flan]

22 hours ago, duggerme said:

she kept the boot and used it to get early boarding a few times when she flew home from college and had a tight turnaround when she had something to go to when she was coming home.  (we used Southwest, so pre-boarding meant she got a seat closer to the front of the plane).  thanks for bring back a fun memory!

Fraud is not a fun activity.  Using the boot when she no longer needed it is not a fun trick.  It's lying at minimum.  The more people who do things like that to get a spot they aren't entitled to the harder it makes it on people who actually do qualify and need the pre-boarding.  ::smh::

No wonder I've gotten hassled over using my valid handicapped parking placard.  

[quiversR4hunting]

3 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Fraud is not a fun activity.  Using the boot when she no longer needed it is not a fun trick.  It's lying at minimum.  The more people who do things like that to get a spot they aren't entitled to the harder it makes it on people who actually do qualify and need the pre-boarding.  ::smh::

No wonder I've gotten hassled over using my valid handicapped parking placard.  

I'm sorry you have been hassled with a placard. Not everyone that needs a placard has a noticeable disability some people need to back off. 

My neice got hassled at her HS, she was the driver for her brother who is in a motorized wheelchair. The security guard would hassle her if she was by herself and parking in a spot to pick him up. If she wasn't picking him up or dropping him off she parked in a regular spot (even with the placard).

[Black Aliss]

19 hours ago, indianabones said:

Wait, there's more than one Molbak's?

No. There used to be and I had forgotten that all (U Village, Pike Place, not sure about others) but the Woodinville store had closed during the last Great Recession.

4 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Everyone that doesn't need handicap parking should be thankful they are able bodied and don't need the accommodation. 

This.  I have a handicap placard for 3 months because I had knee replacement surgery. Even when I was using a walker to get around I usually had to park far from store entrances because the handicap spaces were filled. Sometimes with cars actually displaying a placard or plates. More often because it was raining and people were only going to be in the store for a little while anyway. Seriously, that placard is basically useless. Fortunately my mobility is improving ahead of predictions and I won't use a handicapped space unless there are a couple of available ones and no other nearby spaces.

[feministxtian]

I have a placard. I only use it when I'm in pain, although I'll confess that when I go grocery shopping I'm not usually in pain when I get there but by the time I leave I am. I try not to abuse the privilege. 

[quiversR4hunting]

7 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I have a placard. I only use it when I'm in pain, although I'll confess that when I go grocery shopping I'm not usually in pain when I get there but by the time I leave I am. I try not to abuse the privilege. 

And that is exactly when you should use it! Grocery shopping is taxing - mentally and physically. Like my niece, she didn't have her brother when she was parking but she was picking him up so she needed the spot to allow the ramp.to lower, etc. 

[4boysmum]

We have a placard for our son and we absolutely only use it when he is getting in or out of the car.  Sometimes we can't get a handicapped spot at a busy place like the grocery store-- there are many valid reasons to qualify for a placard, and often more cars with placards than available spots.  If I can get a regular spot that's still reasonably close to the door I will sometimes take it to leave the handicapped spot for someone with bulkier equipment like a wheelchair (my son mostly uses forearm crutches and doesn't need the extra space if he's not in his chair).  People who have been living with disabilities long-term understand the struggle and usually try to help each other out.

So, yeah, it does really grind my gears when I see cars without placards taking up the spots, or people who have placards for family members but abuse the privilege.  Especially when they use the "I'll only be here for a minute" excuse while my kid with crutches and braces halfway up his thighs, who can't feel his lower legs and feet at all, is trying to walk across the parking lot, slipping on ice, and falling (yes, this really happened to us once).

[Howl]

Quote

Physical contact between members of the same gender must be within the bounds of biblically acceptable behavior.

Does it count if they don't list the relevant Bible verses? 

[Alisamer]

43 minutes ago, Howl said:

Does it count if they don't list the relevant Bible verses? 

I'd be looking through Song of Solomon - I think there's some behavior in there that might shock them. 

15 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I'm sorry you have been hassled with a placard. Not everyone that needs a placard has a noticeable disability some people need to back off. 

This. My sister has a placard. If we are with her, if there are spaces available (not the big spaces, though) we'll use them, but often we just drop her off at the entrance instead. She doesn't have a visible disability, but she's had a hip replacement after multiple childhood hip surgeries, and her ankle rebuilt twice plus back issues and such - she just can't walk or stand very long without a lot of pain. It's not so bad that she needs a walker or cane or anything most of the time, but is bad enough that at a large store she'll get a scooter if one is available. 

[Loveday]

In the last year or two of my mother's life, I usually would drop her off at the door of wherever we were, whether it was a doctor's office, the grocery store, or a restaurant. I'd put the flashers on, get out, help her out and get her sorted with her rollator and cane, and then quickly park after seeing her to the door. We did have a placard, but by that point, it was too much for her to even walk that short a distance. I usually picked her up at the curb as well, but occasionally I'd park in the handicap spot with intentions of getting her to walk even if she didn't feel like it. It was never so far that I'd feel like I was torturing her; she just walked so little by that point that it was in her best interest to once in awhile at least walk that far! But most of the time I just parked in a regular spot and then had her wait for me to come pick her up. I figured someone else could use that spot even though, with the placard, we were allowed to use it.

I still have the placard, and it's still in date. I guess I should turn it in, but it just sits in the glove box. There are days when my knees and feet are hurting so much I'm sorely tempted to just hang it from the mirror and park in a handicap spot, but I couldn't live with myself if I did that. Until I'm actually diagnosed with a disability that allows me to legitimately use one, I'll just park and walk the distance. Walking is good, it might keep me from actually needing that placard a little bit longer!

TL;DR: DON'T use a handicap spot unless you're legally entitled to one. And if you do, DON'T talk about it on teh internetz like it's a totally acceptable thing to do. You will be chastised. 😕 

Edited January 10, 2023 by Loveday
Punctuation is important.

[Zee]

Anna’s “friend” went to Kansas for Christmas break per ABC Instagram story 🤭