Jinjer 59: Cooking with Prepared Spice Mix

[viii]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Girl Defined just posted a clip interviewing Jinger. Yet again she’s sticking up for her parents saying they gave her the sweetest childhood and they always want what’s best for me, blah blah blah. Sure Jinger. 

This is why I don't think she's grown that much. 

I was raised in a religious cult and I'm able to criticize my parents. I know that there are a lot of things I don't understand (they were young and sucked in), but I'm still able to separate my loving parents from the horrible things that happened. 

Jinger clearly isn't there yet if she's doubling down on defending her parents. 

[woonaluna]

Agreed - she can’t stop for one moment to think her parents may be flawed. She spent most of the book saying she followed Gothard, as if she had any choice! She was a child in a cult! It makes no sense 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, viii said:

This is why I don't think she's grown that much. 

I was raised in a religious cult and I'm able to criticize my parents. I know that there are a lot of things I don't understand (they were young and sucked in), but I'm still able to separate my loving parents from the horrible things that happened. 

Jinger clearly isn't there yet if she's doubling down on defending her parents. 

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, she just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire while trying to still please everyone around her. She shits on Gothard but now she has MacArthur to lead her husband astray. If she decides to denounce MacArthur, she will say Jeremy was just doing what he thought was best for their family and of course it’s not his fault. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[woonaluna]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, she just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire while trying to still please everyone around her. She shots on Gothard but now she has MacArthur to lead her husband astray. If she decides to denounce MacArthur, she will say Jeremy was just doing what he thought was best for their family and of course it’s not his fault. 

Yup, exactly. Her husband has dragged her from one cult into another, and she has no basis to distinguish one from the other. 

I will say it made me laugh that she quoted John Piper(!!) to combat Gothard. There is no reflection, and definitely no healing happening. She needs a real therapist. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, woonaluna said:

Yup, exactly. Her husband has dragged her from one cult into another, and she has no basis to distinguish one from the other. 

I will say it made me laugh that she quoted John Piper(!!) to combat Gothard. There is no reflection, and definitely no healing happening. She needs a real therapist. 

I guarantee if she went to a real therapist, one of the first things a therapist would do after all the intake and formalities is talk about her parents. And Jinger would get extremely defensive when the therapist would point out harmful things her parents did to her and siblings in their childhood. She would probably nope on out of there. 

[woonaluna]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I guarantee if she went to a real therapist, one of the first things a therapist would do after all the intake and formalities is talk about her parents. And Jinger would get extremely defensive when the therapist would point out harmful things her parents did to her and siblings in their childhood. She would probably nope on out of there. 

When I started therapy I was pretty defensive of my parents, too. I stuck with it because I was too much of a people pleaser to leave! But I doubt she would even get that far.

[Knight of Ni]

Its like she doesn't realize that she followed Gothard because of her parents. She can't seem to admit that to herself that they are tied together.

[viii]

She does need therapy - from an actual, credited therapist, NOT a Christian counsellor. I am so sick of Christians taking a weekend webinar and calling themselves capable of dealing with people's trauma. If anything, they just make it worse. 

[Giraffe]

Wow. It sounds like she still lives with a massive amount of cognitive dissonance. I hope she starts seeing the flaws in MacArthur supported biblical “counseling” and finds a real therapist who can help her work through the abuse and neglect she experienced at the hands of her Gothardite parents. I hope she feels rage from the victim blaming that goes on in the “biblical counseling” movement and it drives her to find real, actual therapy, whether the therapist is a Christian or not. 

[libgirl2]

6 hours ago, viii said:

She does need therapy - from an actual, credited therapist, NOT a Christian counsellor. I am so sick of Christians taking a weekend webinar and calling themselves capable of dealing with people's trauma. If anything, they just make it worse. 

Isn't Phillip Rodrigues studying counseling in addition to whatever else he is studying? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Isn't Phillip Rodrigues studying counseling in addition to whatever else he is studying? 

I think anyone doing pastoral studies or missionary studies at least take one class on “counseling.” That word is thrown around a lot but they are almost never talking about professional counseling. Back in the day, pastors were a community’s biggest counselors. No one would go to a psychiatrist with their problems but they would go to their pastor. Of course many of them gave horrible sexist homophobic advice. Now that professional counseling is less stigmatized and more available, people seek out their pastors less. However it still happens. Especially in fundie churches. MacArthur and his cronies do counseling at their church and of course harm people. Just like they harmed Ms Grey by telling her to stay with her abusive husband. I’m sure they would tell Jinger to stay with Jeremy even if he was abusing her. 

[libgirl2]

5 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think anyone doing pastoral studies or missionary studies at least take one class on “counseling.” That word is thrown around a lot but they are almost never talking about professional counseling. Back in the day, pastors were a community’s biggest counselors. No one would go to a psychiatrist with their problems but they would go to their pastor. Of course many of them gave horrible sexist homophobic advice. Now that professional counseling is less stigmatized and more available, people seek out their pastors less. However it still happens. Especially in fundie churches. MacArthur and his cronies do counseling at their church and of course harm people. Just like they harmed Ms Grey by telling her to stay with her abusive husband. I’m sure they would tell Jinger to stay with Jeremy even if he was abusing her. 

My best friend was doing pastoral studies and had to take counseling courses, but this was far from one class or a "read the book" you find in these fundie circles. 

[woonaluna]

46 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Isn't Phillip Rodrigues studying counseling in addition to whatever else he is studying? 

Who is Rodrigues? Why would it matter? Are you defending Christian counseling as a valid form of mental health treatment?

[Giraffe]

53 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Isn't Phillip Rodrigues studying counseling in addition to whatever else he is studying? 

I’m going with no, not actual evidence-based counseling. Even if they call it counseling there’s no way a school like that would have real psychology courses. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by Giraffe

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, woonaluna said:

Who is Rodrigues? Why would it matter? Are you defending Christian counseling as a valid form of mental health treatment?

No, Phillip is in another notorious fundie family. He’s currently going to a joke of a Bible college because he wants to be a missionary in Hungary.

[woonaluna]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

No, Phillip is in another notorious fundie family. He’s currently going to a joke of a Bible college because he wants to be a missionary in Hungary.

Ah got it. Cringe.

[backyard sylph]

6 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Wow. It sounds like she still lives with a massive amount of cognitive dissonance. I hope she starts seeing the flaws in MacArthur supported biblical “counseling” and finds a real therapist who can help her work through the abuse and neglect she experienced at the hands of her Gothardite parents. I hope she feels rage from the victim blaming that goes on in the “biblical counseling” movement and it drives her to find real, actual therapy, whether the therapist is a Christian or not. 

I agree in a sense. I would bet all I do not have that she does feel anger or sadness about her parents, but it's mixed with loving memories and so she represses that side, feeling guilty for not being able to both inwardly and outwardly see them as champion parents. Those two opposing sensations are tough to reconcile without help.

My mom died over 33 years ago, and the other day I started crying AT WORK, wishing I could explain being autistic to her and why I seemed so alien, fussy and awkward and just plain weird to her charming popular relatively successful self, and somehow also finding myself feeling apologetic that she didn't always get me though she loved me massively and I don't know, just so much, not even sure what brought it on. She helped me be an independent person but never understood me, and then when she ended up in the grips of religious fervor (and then died from breast cancer, this whole weird deal,) I lost out on some keys to early adulthood that I needed from her. It's really messy, and we were never on TV. If anyone asks me about her, my answer is pretty much, "My mother was a saint," and I do feel that way. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by backyard sylph
left out important detail

[Bastet]

  The problem with Jinger getting real counseling is that she would want Jeremy’s approval first, and it’s unlikely he would give it. At the very least he’d be afraid word would get out and damage his career prospects. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Girl Defined just posted a clip interviewing Jinger. Yet again she’s sticking up for her parents saying they gave her the sweetest childhood and they always want what’s best for me, blah blah blah. Sure Jinger. 

What's that quote about De Nile being a really long river?

[Jinder Roles]

12 hours ago, viii said:

This is why I don't think she's grown that much. 

I was raised in a religious cult and I'm able to criticize my parents. I know that there are a lot of things I don't understand (they were young and sucked in), but I'm still able to separate my loving parents from the horrible things that happened. 

Jinger clearly isn't there yet if she's doubling down on defending her parents. 

Agreed. But the fact that she’s sitting down with Girl Defined is evidence enough😂 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, Jinder Roles said:

Agreed. But the fact that she’s sitting down with Girl Defined is evidence enough😂 

I agree. She was interviewed by Allie Beth Stuckey and GD. If she had fully deconstructed, neither would want to interview her. 

27 minutes ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

What's that quote about De Nile being a really long river?

I get why people do this. It’s so much easier and safer to live in denial. It’s painful to see your parents as the abusive people that they are. It’s hard work to work through all the emotions of it. It’s exhausting really. It’s much more pleasant and much easier to keep seeing them this way. People can live like this their entire lives unfortunately. I hope Jinjer doesn’t.

[SassyPants]

I think the disconnect for most of us is the fact that we try to compare Jinger’s current life to our own lives. You can only compare Jinger’s current life to her past life. So living with a man, having the sex, being the parent and at least partial decision maker, using BC, wearing pants, drinking and eating what you want, living near a big city, having money to buy nice clothes and good skin products, and most importantly, being able to move about without an Accountability buddy or someone controlling your schedule is all very freeing. I can guarantee you if Jinger keeps living in our world for the next 60 years, she’ll definitely have some growth and want to make some changes.

Compared to living in the TTH and under JB and M’s thumbs, Jinger’s  life is paradise, for now.

If she doesn’t evolve, change or adjust, she’s merely existing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

37 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I think the disconnect for most of us is the fact that we try to compare Jinger’s current life to our own lives. You can only compare Jinger’s current life to her past life. So living with a man, having the sex, being the parent and at least partial decision maker, using BC, wearing pants, drinking and eating what you want, living near a big city, having money to buy nice clothes and good skin products, and most importantly, being able to move about without an Accountability buddy or someone controlling your schedule is all very freeing. I can guarantee you if Jinger keeps living in our world for the next 60 years, she’ll definitely have some growth and want to make some changes.

Compared to living in the TTH and under JB and M’s thumbs, Jinger’s  life is paradise, for now.

If she doesn’t evolve, change or adjust, she’s merely existing.

It’s a similar sentiment as a woman leaving a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive marriage and happily getting into a relationship with a man who only emotionally abused her. 

[woonaluna]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s a similar sentiment as a woman leaving a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive marriage and happily getting into a relationship with a man who only emotionally abused her. 

Oof. True. 

[SassyPants]

40 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s a similar sentiment as a woman leaving a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive marriage and happily getting into a relationship with a man who only emotionally abused her. 

We know that because we’ve all lived in this world. Most of us probably were raised in homes where we went to school, had friends, were allowed to have relationships outside of the home and most importantly, encouraged to use our brains, challenge ourselves and make age appropriate decisions. I remember my dad used to say all the time that “his job as a parent was to make sure that he did not unleash idiots into and onto society.” He said it so often that brothers and I, as adults, told him we used to joke that we were going to get him a t-shirt with the words no idiots, encircled in red.

The Duggar kids were (and are) stunted by their upbringing. Jinger is a 29 YO trapped with the reasoning and life experiences of a 15 YO. She has a lot of catching up to do. I would never take any advice from a Duggar. They just do not have fully functioning reasoning, experiences or critical thinking skills.