M is for Mama 15

[tankgirl]

A tub was important for us when our kids were young, but as they get to the age they can do more themselves I find our kids taking more showers then baths. Bath bombs and bubble bath used to be major go to's for Christmas but over the past year we found they barely get used, which is a clear sign of the swap. I do like having a tub for the occasional soak, but in our next place it will no longer be a priority. 

 

In regards to sharing I hate sharing a shower or bath, because ours are both average 1 person size and having young kids makes you long for any time you can get away and get some alone time 😅 Sorry Abbey I am one of those "Mediocre Mums" who does want time away from their kids, or at least time to pee and shower alone 😆

[fluffernutter]

I used to love baths. I grew up in an old apartment that didn't have a shower so an old claw-foot tub was all I Knew. Now I am in my 50's and can't really take a bath anymore. I miss them a lot. So I guess my dream used to be a jacuzzi or garden tub but it's now changed into one of those huge low-step showers that you can fit a big old bench in. Aging and arthritis blows. And you youngsters enjoy your shower couple time. We haven't done that for a long-ass time- maybe 2000's?  I don't know because my memory sucks now too. 🤣

[Coconut Flan]

25 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would look into some sort of clear coating system that might protect your tiles and grout from build up. There has to be something to protect old tiles and grout.

Lowe's and Home Depot both have products, but wax candles rubbed on the grout and car wax on grout and tiles have been recommended to me and work.  Gel Gloss is also highly recommended.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I used to love baths. I grew up in an old apartment that didn't have a shower so an old claw-foot tub was all I Knew. Now I am in my 50's and can't really take a bath anymore. I miss them a lot. So I guess my dream used to be a jacuzzi or garden tub but it's now changed into one of those huge low-step showers that you can fit a big old bench in. Aging and arthritis blows. And you youngsters enjoy your shower couple time. We haven't done that for a long-ass time- maybe 2000's?  I don't know because my memory sucks now too. 🤣

I just like big showers because it’s so much easier to shave my legs and I just like room to move. Plus I think some people like to wash their big dogs off in showers too. I’m not a dog person. But a big shower would be good for washing off dogs. And it would be good for hosing down multiple dirty kids. Big showers are just practical while huge separate tubs aren’t. 

[neuroticcat]

I think mattresses on the floor are a good idea for little kids, especially if you skip toddler beds and go from twin to crib. ImWe actually have a floating twin mattress so if a kid is sick or having trouble a parent can go in and just slumber party. 
 

In an earlier shower post she made it sound like it was part of the daily routine after dinner while her kids cleaned up the kitchen. I remember thinking she was referencing smexy time because a commenter asked if her kids were aware they showered together. And she said something like, yes, they are matter of fact and the kids all know where babies come from so 🤷🏻‍♀️

It stuck with me b/c my teenagers would be mortified if I told them to keep an eye on things while their dad and I had a shower together. 😳 and it feels vaguely inappropriate. Like, I get that sometimes teenagers might know what it means if mom and dad disappear for a “nap” but announcing it? 
 

Our house is loud and busy & many kids. Showering is a moment of privacy and being alone for me. 

Edited January 30, 2023 by neuroticcat

[Cults-r-us]

8 hours ago, SuperNova said:

It looks awful. The built up block of wood to make the fixtures fit looks like poor planning. Hopefully there's a few leftover boxes of tile to attempt to blend it in. It will be the perfect place to stub your toe. The tub doesn't even line up with the window and chandelier and the mirror is poorly hung. For someone who prides themselves on detail, Abbie's bathroom is a mess. 

I wonder what it cost her. The chandelier is odd.

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I think mattresses on the floor are a good idea for little kids, especially if you skip toddler beds and go from twin to crib. ImWe actually have a floating twin mattress so if a kid is sick or having trouble a parent can go in and just slumber party. 
 

In an earlier shower post she made it sound like it was part of the daily routine after dinner while her kids cleaned up the kitchen. I remember thinking she was referencing smexy time because a commenter asked if her kids were aware they showered together. And she said something like, yes, they are matter of fact and the kids all know where babies come from so 🤷🏻‍♀️

It stuck with me b/c my teenagers would be mortified if I told them to keep an eye on things while their dad and I had a shower together. 😳 and it feels vaguely inappropriate. Like, I get that sometimes teenagers might know what it means if mom and dad disappear for a “nap” but announcing it? 
 

Our house is loud and busy & many kids. Showering is a moment of privacy and being alone for me. 

Mattresses on the floor are great for little kids. If they roll off, it’s no big deal. But if I remember correctly, she has custom built in double bunk beds in the boys and girls rooms. I’m sure they cost a lot to make. And she has ended up with way more boys than girls. So maybe that was a poor choice. 

[Cults-r-us]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is the thing I’ve realized about the separate big bath tub and showers trend. Many people don’t even use their bath Ruth that much. I’ve talked to so many people who say they use their shower every day but their tub every few months. That just seems like a waste to me. I would much rather have a big shower and no tub because I will rarely use the tub. If a person is really into baths and would probably use it every single day, I might recommend a hot tub. Because they stay hot and have jets. I know it’s a lot of money. But if you use it all the time, it might be worth the money. And just don’t buy a big tub. 

I live in an old house and have only had a tub, and a small one at that. I realize a shower is probably more sanitary but it does feel good to soak in warm water every night. It's whatever you're used to.

5 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Thanks! I did too until I finally got one. The only way to get the shower really clean is with a toothbrush, razor blade, and a ton of elbow grease. The tiles are gorgeous but after over 70 years they're etched and they quickly become coated in soap scum that has to be scraped with a razor. Then in with the toothbrush to clean the grout. The walls and floors are better and can just be cleaned with a sponge, Tilex, and a few wet Swiffers.  But the shower is the bane of my existence. Be careful what you wish for!!

You might try a hand held steam cleaners. This thing is awesome on grout and comes with a vag of attachments.

[theotherelise]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Mattresses on the floor are great for little kids. If they roll off, it’s no big deal. But if I remember correctly, she has custom built in double bunk beds in the boys and girls rooms. I’m sure they cost a lot to make. And she has ended up with way more boys than girls. So maybe that was a poor choice. 

They could always make the boys playroom a second boys dorm. Then you could turn the little boys room into the boys hangout room. Or flip the two older boys to the small room and toss the rest in the dorm room. Are Toby and Titus still in the closet crib room? 

[FiveAcres]

The house plan of our current house had two features that sold me: the main bathroom has both a large, walk-in (or roll-in) shower as well as a large soaking tub. The main bedroom has enough room for two queen sized beds. We requested the builder put in additional accessibility features so I have a firmly anchored grab bar when I step in and out of the tub. I love my hot baths, but usually only take one every other day both so I don't dry my skin or use so much hot water. 

@Cults-r-usThanks for the recommendation of steam cleaners: will definitely investigate them for our shower stall. I firmly believe that no one should be allowed to design bathroom fixtures until they have worked as a housekeeper for a year. 

[anachronistic]

I love tubs. Showers are a necessary sensory ickiness I’d rather avoid. I end up with both because 4 days a week I go walking in my local Y’s therapy pool, which is 93 degrees.( They have a hot tub there but my doctors say it’s dirty and not to go in public hot tubs.) It’s heavenly. And I socialize a lot with the other people exercising there. Then I shower to wash off the chlorine.

I use my tub/shower combo at home so little these days it gets dusty. 

[danvillebelle]

We had a jetted tub in a house we lived in years go, and I did enjoy it.  It was a godsend during my last pregnancy; when I was huge I'd just get in there and float and it felt so good to be semi-weightless, lol.  But it was a pain to clean, and there's no way I'd have one now.  I'm 25 years older and clumsy, I'd be too afraid of falling getting in or out.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

We had a jetted tub in a house we lived in years go, and I did enjoy it.  It was a godsend during my last pregnancy; when I was huge I'd just get in there and float and it felt so good to be semi-weightless, lol.  But it was a pain to clean, and there's no way I'd have one now.  I'm 25 years older and clumsy, I'd be too afraid of falling getting in or out.

I watched a woman clean the jetted tub in a house she just bought. She used all these special detergents and she washed it multiple times and dirt kept coming out of the jets. That’s my biggest Hangup. It must be hard to clean all jetted tubs and hot tubs. Maybe that is why so many people don’t have jetted tubs in their new giant houses when you know they can probably afford it. Because it’s just too hard to clean. 

Edited January 31, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Coconut Flan]

Too hard to clean is why we remodeled the master bath in this house and removed a jetted tub in the process.  It was a great idea because it would be far too hazardous for me to try to get into and out of one now.   

[Hane]

I miss the humongous old claw-footed tub in my first apartment. It was deep enough that you could soak up to your neck and the water would stay nice and warm forever, and big enough that Ex-Mr.-Hane-#1 and I could sit in it together and read. The apartment was in an 1910s two-family house and also had two huge pantries.

Those were its only advantages: it had no central heating and zero insulation and leaky window frames. All that for the low, low price of $115/month! (in 1973)

[danvillebelle]

I listened so you don't have to: M is for Mama Podcast episode 4.  Title:

"Filling Our Kids' Love Tanks" (It's Not as Complicated as it Seems!) 

What a doozy.  Braggie sets up a ridiculous strawman argument that society expects parents' quality time with their children to be "pony rides and cotton candy" (she used that phrase twice; methinks someone wanted pony rides as a child and didn't get them).  She then shares (sarcasm alert) the utterly original idea that we can bond with our kids through simple everyday activities and normal parenting things like reading them books and playing games with them!  She seriously had the tone of being one of the only people who apparently believes this or thought of it.  

Another strawman:  she thinks society doesn't expect kids to help around the house *at all*, and that, and I quote, "teenagers have cotton candy for brains and so can't be expected to do anything worthwhile."  Excuse me?  How fucking out of touch with the times do you have to be to not know the UNBELIEVABLE academic and societal pressures so many of today's teens are under?  She lives in a la-la land she created in her own head, where everyone else's parenting sucks and hers is the bestest ever.  She shared that when their kids turn 10, they do a special trip with the same-sex parent - of course, the boys do manly-man outdoor things with Shaun, and the girls go to Dallas to shop and get pedicures with Braggie.  Must keep all gender norms intact.  

Random BEC:  in the video she is wearing a beige/tan sweater and it makes her look like a corpse.  Utterly washed out.

"Um" count in 29 minutes: 79

[Pammy]

On 1/29/2023 at 7:05 PM, neuroticcat said:

In an earlier shower post she made it sound like it was part of the daily routine after dinner while her kids cleaned up the kitchen. I remember thinking she was referencing smexy time because a commenter asked if her kids were aware they showered together. And she said something like, yes, they are matter of fact and the kids all know where babies come from so 🤷🏻‍♀️

It stuck with me b/c my teenagers would be mortified if I told them to keep an eye on things while their dad and I had a shower together. 😳 and it feels vaguely inappropriate. Like, I get that sometimes teenagers might know what it means if mom and dad disappear for a “nap” but announcing it? 
 

Our house is loud and busy & many kids. Showering is a moment of privacy and being alone for me. 

My spouse and I regularly shower together, and have done that since before our kids were born. It's not about sex. It's just a thing we do together because we don't have a lot of other things we do together, and we both need to shower, and there's only one shower. It gives us a chance to talk, and maybe wash each other's backs.

Our (now) teenagers, are not (to my knowledge) mortified to know this is how their parents shower. We have always showered that way. Maybe they think all parents shower together? It's just like the way they know that we get changed in the same room and sleep in the same bed. It's just a married-people way of having togetherness that has been normal all their lives.

Now if she has taught the kids that shower-time is part of "where babies come from" -- that's pretty sketchy. (For us, despite teaching our kids about sex and conception from a young age, we never actually drew lines between that type of general scientific info and specific info like where / when / how often their parents were engaging in the actual act.)

[Zebedee]

God, I love having a bath. I will avoid showers as much as possible. I hate having the water on my head, and when it is cold, somehow stepping out of a shower is so much worse than getting out of the bath. I also hate waking up, so drinking coffee in the bath, maybe reading a bit, is nice and relaxing, and puts me in a good mood. Waking up by showering is guaranteed to put me in a filthy temper, for at least an hour. It doesn't need to be a massive bath - I'm not particularly tall, so actually, a normal sized bath is ideal. And I don't need or want jets. I just want to sit quietly in nice warm water, and wake up peacefully. Having water beating down on my head, or even worse - spraying at me from all sides - just sounds horrendous.

My in laws have a weird bath. It isn't especially deep, but it is weirdly wide, which makes it harder to get out of. They also have an outdoor hot tub, which I refuse to go anywhere near, even though my partner is fastidious about the cleaning. Plus, they do weird things like use it in winter, and then get out when it is snowing... 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I listened so you don't have to: M is for Mama Podcast episode 4.  Title:

"Filling Our Kids' Love Tanks" (It's Not as Complicated as it Seems!) 

What a doozy.  Braggie sets up a ridiculous strawman argument that society expects parents' quality time with their children to be "pony rides and cotton candy" (she used that phrase twice; methinks someone wanted pony rides as a child and didn't get them).  She then shares (sarcasm alert) the utterly original idea that we can bond with our kids through simple everyday activities and normal parenting things like reading them books and playing games with them!  She seriously had the tone of being one of the only people who apparently believes this or thought of it.  

Another strawman:  she thinks society doesn't expect kids to help around the house *at all*, and that, and I quote, "teenagers have cotton candy for brains and so can't be expected to do anything worthwhile."  Excuse me?  How fucking out of touch with the times do you have to be to not know the UNBELIEVABLE academic and societal pressures so many of today's teens are under?  She lives in a la-la land she created in her own head, where everyone else's parenting sucks and hers is the bestest ever.  She shared that when their kids turn 10, they do a special trip with the same-sex parent - of course, the boys do manly-man outdoor things with Shaun, and the girls go to Dallas to shop and get pedicures with Braggie.  Must keep all gender norms intact.  

Random BEC:  in the video she is wearing a beige/tan sweater and it makes her look like a corpse.  Utterly washed out.

"Um" count in 29 minutes: 79

I seriously doubt that Abbie is playing Ticket to Ride with her children on the regular (Or Candy Land with the younger kids). I think when she speaks of playing games or reading to the kids outside of their homeschool activities, she is talking about Shaun playing with the older kids, the older kids playing with the younger kids or the times she pays her mother to entertain her kids. Abbie is akin to a 4 Star General. She commands and everyone else does, and then she swoops in to take credit. She’s nothing but a shiny, hood ornament.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I listened so you don't have to: M is for Mama Podcast episode 4.  Title:

"Filling Our Kids' Love Tanks" (It's Not as Complicated as it Seems!) 

What a doozy.  Braggie sets up a ridiculous strawman argument that society expects parents' quality time with their children to be "pony rides and cotton candy" (she used that phrase twice; methinks someone wanted pony rides as a child and didn't get them).  She then shares (sarcasm alert) the utterly original idea that we can bond with our kids through simple everyday activities and normal parenting things like reading them books and playing games with them!  She seriously had the tone of being one of the only people who apparently believes this or thought of it.  

Another strawman:  she thinks society doesn't expect kids to help around the house *at all*, and that, and I quote, "teenagers have cotton candy for brains and so can't be expected to do anything worthwhile."  Excuse me?  How fucking out of touch with the times do you have to be to not know the UNBELIEVABLE academic and societal pressures so many of today's teens are under?  She lives in a la-la land she created in her own head, where everyone else's parenting sucks and hers is the bestest ever.  She shared that when their kids turn 10, they do a special trip with the same-sex parent - of course, the boys do manly-man outdoor things with Shaun, and the girls go to Dallas to shop and get pedicures with Braggie.  Must keep all gender norms intact.  

Random BEC:  in the video she is wearing a beige/tan sweater and it makes her look like a corpse.  Utterly washed out.

"Um" count in 29 minutes: 79

She honestly has no idea how the average American family exists. I know many families with school age kids. It’s very typical to do regular activities like playing a game or reading a book with their kids. It’s not constant amusement parks and ponies for fucks sake. Yes, parents like to take their kids to fun places sometimes but no one can afford that shit everyday! She lies in order to make her own parenting look better in comparison.  She’s so fucking ordinary and she hates it. 

[zeebaneighba]

23 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I watched a woman clean the jetted tub in a house she just bought. She used all these special detergents and she washed it multiple times and dirt kept coming out of the jets. That’s my biggest Hangup. It must be hard to clean all jetted tubs and hot tubs. Maybe that is why so many people don’t have jetted tubs in their new giant houses when you know they can probably afford it. Because it’s just too hard to clean. 

I swore off jetted tubs when I used to watch a show on TLC where this British lady would come in and clean peoples' houses.  The disgusting crud that would come out of those things!  IIRC, she used denture cleaning tablets in just enough water to cover the jets.

[Hane]

OT anecdote re the “where do babies come from?” discussion:

In explaining contraception to my daughter (about age 12?), I mentioned that her stepfather had had a vasectomy before I met him, so that was why we had no kids together. Her response: “Oh. I just thought that you didn’t ’do it’…often.”

[QuiverFullOfGoats]

6 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I listened so you don't have to: M is for Mama Podcast episode 4.  Title:

"Filling Our Kids' Love Tanks" (It's Not as Complicated as it Seems!) 

What a doozy.  Braggie sets up a ridiculous strawman argument that society expects parents' quality time with their children to be "pony rides and cotton candy" (she used that phrase twice; methinks someone wanted pony rides as a child and didn't get them).  She then shares (sarcasm alert) the utterly original idea that we can bond with our kids through simple everyday activities and normal parenting things like reading them books and playing games with them!  She seriously had the tone of being one of the only people who apparently believes this or thought of it.  

Another strawman:  she thinks society doesn't expect kids to help around the house *at all*, and that, and I quote, "teenagers have cotton candy for brains and so can't be expected to do anything worthwhile."  Excuse me?  How fucking out of touch with the times do you have to be to not know the UNBELIEVABLE academic and societal pressures so many of today's teens are under?  She lives in a la-la land she created in her own head, where everyone else's parenting sucks and hers is the bestest ever.  She shared that when their kids turn 10, they do a special trip with the same-sex parent - of course, the boys do manly-man outdoor things with Shaun, and the girls go to Dallas to shop and get pedicures with Braggie.  Must keep all gender norms intact.  

Random BEC:  in the video she is wearing a beige/tan sweater and it makes her look like a corpse.  Utterly washed out.

"Um" count in 29 minutes: 79

You are doing the Lord’s work.😆

[Bluebirdbluebell]

9 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I listened so you don't have to: M is for Mama Podcast episode 4.  Title:

"Filling Our Kids' Love Tanks" (It's Not as Complicated as it Seems!) 

What a doozy.  Braggie sets up a ridiculous strawman argument that society expects parents' quality time with their children to be "pony rides and cotton candy" (she used that phrase twice; methinks someone wanted pony rides as a child and didn't get them).  She then shares (sarcasm alert) the utterly original idea that we can bond with our kids through simple everyday activities and normal parenting things like reading them books and playing games with them!  She seriously had the tone of being one of the only people who apparently believes this or thought of it.  

Another strawman:  she thinks society doesn't expect kids to help around the house *at all*, and that, and I quote, "teenagers have cotton candy for brains and so can't be expected to do anything worthwhile."  Excuse me?  How fucking out of touch with the times do you have to be to not know the UNBELIEVABLE academic and societal pressures so many of today's teens are under?  She lives in a la-la land she created in her own head, where everyone else's parenting sucks and hers is the bestest ever.  She shared that when their kids turn 10, they do a special trip with the same-sex parent - of course, the boys do manly-man outdoor things with Shaun, and the girls go to Dallas to shop and get pedicures with Braggie.  Must keep all gender norms intact.  

Random BEC:  in the video she is wearing a beige/tan sweater and it makes her look like a corpse.  Utterly washed out.

"Um" count in 29 minutes: 79

It's a new level of being out of touch that she thinks other people don't spend time with their kids. Or think their kids can do chores. Nobody thinks parenting is all pony rides and cotton candy. 

This idea that their family is unique and special is pretty common among fundies, conservative Christians, etc.

Edited February 2, 2023 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Cults-r-us]

11 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I seriously doubt that Abbie is playing Ticket to Ride with her children on the regular (Or Candy Land with the younger kids). I think when she speaks of playing games or reading to the kids outside of their homeschool activities, she is talking about Shaun playing with the older kids, the older kids playing with the younger kids or the times she pays her mother to entertain her kids. Abbie is akin to a 4 Star General. She commands and everyone else does, and then she swoops in to take credit. She’s nothing but a shiny, hood ornament.

I dunno. She plays mindf--- with everybody, including her fans.