M is for Mama 15

[JermajestyDuggar]

Sorry wrong thread! Although my response made sense here too because Jill Rod and Braggie are so much alike. 

Edited January 27, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[SuperNova]

On 1/26/2023 at 3:58 AM, danvillebelle said:

She said, "we need to avoid doing offensive things and put a guard over our mouths (keyboards)". 

Thanks for the recap.

I find this quote particularly interesting. There's things that I do or say that Abbie would consider offensive based on her Christianity, not because I'm actively trying to offend. It's not anyone else's job to police themselves to Abbie's liking. People will be people and it makes much more sense to try and teach charitable listening and how to ignore others (perceived) negativity. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Thanks for the recap.

I find this quote particularly interesting. There's things that I do or say that Abbie would consider offensive based on her Christianity, not because I'm actively trying to offend. It's not anyone else's job to police themselves to Abbie's liking. People will be people and it makes much more sense to try and teach charitable listening and how to ignore others (perceived) negativity. 

I agree to a point of course. If by offensive she means racist, sexist or homophobic, then I agree with her. But I know she doesn’t mean that. I think she just wants others to bite their tongues but not her. Because she thinks nothing she says is offensive. Because Bible. 

[Ozlsn]

On 1/26/2023 at 6:42 AM, neuroticcat said:

I think b/c it’s impossible for Abbie (and fundamentalist view of women) to let women live how they want, she assumes feminists & others want to prescribe a life for women. 

I sometimes wonder how various fundies would have turned out if they or their parents hadn't fallen down the rabbit hole. Abbie is living exactly how she "wants" but isn't that happy, despite it being the "correct" way. She definitely chose this path, but can't admit that it might not have been the best fit for her - even less so now that she's built a brand around it. I think she would have been much happier if she'd rethought her fertility-for-Jesus policy a lot earlier, and looked into following some of her actual interests.

[Cults-r-us]

31 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I sometimes wonder how various fundies would have turned out if they or their parents hadn't fallen down the rabbit hole. Abbie is living exactly how she "wants" but isn't that happy, despite it being the "correct" way. She definitely chose this path, but can't admit that it might not have been the best fit for her - even less so now that she's built a brand around it. I think she would have been much happier if she'd rethought her fertility-for-Jesus policy a lot earlier, and looked into following some of her actual interests.

Even if Abbie didn't have a slew of kids and was free to pursue her interests, could she be happy? Is there happiness for a narcissist, who must endlessly run on the hamster wheel seeking narcissistic supply? She can't make friends because, lacking self-awareness, compassion and empathy, she can't be a friend. She thrives not on interpersonal relationship, but rather receiving ceaseless validation. Not only is Abbie exhausting, she must exhaust herself.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

I sometimes wonder how various fundies would have turned out if they or their parents hadn't fallen down the rabbit hole. Abbie is living exactly how she "wants" but isn't that happy, despite it being the "correct" way. She definitely chose this path, but can't admit that it might not have been the best fit for her - even less so now that she's built a brand around it. I think she would have been much happier if she'd rethought her fertility-for-Jesus policy a lot earlier, and looked into following some of her actual interests.

What’s weird about Braggie is that she seems to be living her mom’s dream. I can’t remember the exact posts but I think her mother wanted a lot of kids but only had 2. I wouldn’t be surprised if she put the notion into Braggie’s head at a young age that she should have as many kids as god says (except she uses something to space them out so she’s lying). 

Edited January 28, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Cults-r-us]

7 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

What’s weird about Braggie is that she seems to be living her mom’s dream. I can’t remember the exact posts but I think her mother wanted a lot of kids but only had 2. I wouldn’t be surprised if the put the notion into Braggie’s head at a young age that she should have as many kids as god says (except she uses something to space them out so she’s lying). 

If having a slew of kids was her dream, maybe that is why Abbie's mother is so willing to help. One woman's dream (having 10 kids) is another woman's nightmare.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, Cults-r-us said:

If having a slew of kids was her dream, maybe that is why Abbie's mother is so willing to help. One woman's dream (having 10 kids) is another woman's nightmare.

That’s what I’ve always suspected. I think she’s the one who pushed the idea so she must feel like she has to help. Plus I think she indulged the shit out of Braggie growing up and basically still indulges her as an adult. 

[SassyPants]

In the few clips I’ve seen of Abbie’s mom interacting with her GCs, she seems fairly detached. I think her mom might be the tree that the Abbie apple fell from. Her mom presents as flat as Abbie.

And during Wednesday’s ask anything, Abbie shared that one of the ways she and Shaun spend time together is by sharing a shower a couple of times a week (+ the weekly date night). Yes, we already knew that -good God, don’t they do anything else together? Garden? Bake? Worship? Bible study? Volunteer Get creative-

[danvillebelle]

Hey guys, Braggie finally got the faucet connected to her master bathtub!  And it only took five and a half years! 

In another one of her strange flexes, she spent a whole fb post basically bragging about how long it took them to finish the house, including the fact that her kids had no constructed beds for the first two years they lived there.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

32 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Hey guys, Braggie finally got the faucet connected to her master bathtub!  And it only took five and a half years! 

In another one of her strange flexes, she spent a whole fb post basically bragging about how long it took them to finish the house, including the fact that her kids had no constructed beds for the first two years they lived there.  

Yeah we knew that. The kids slept on mattresses on the floor. Which isn’t a big deal to me. Mattresses on floors are still comfortable. And the faucet not being hooked up for 5 years shows that it’s totally unnecessary. She can easily live without a bath tub in her master bathroom. So what’s the point? So much stuff in her home is unnecessary. 

[FluffySnowball]

On 1/28/2023 at 4:20 AM, SassyPants said:

In the few clips I’ve seen of Abbie’s mom interacting with her GCs, she seems fairly detached. I think her mom might be the tree that the Abbie apple fell from. Her mom presents as flat as Abbie.

And during Wednesday’s ask anything, Abbie shared that one of the ways she and Shaun spend time together is by sharing a shower a couple of times a week (+ the weekly date night). Yes, we already knew that -good God, don’t they do anything else together? Garden? Bake? Worship? Bible study? Volunteer Get creative-

Serious question: is the shower story a way for Abby to say she and Shaun have sex? Like, what’s the point of telling it otherwise? It’s such a weird detail for me tbh…

Additionally, I gotta admit I’m no fan of showering with my partner, it just doesn’t feel romantic to me but rather cold. But to each their own. Being in the bathtub together, on the other hand, is something I find really nice, though it always leads to sex and I don’t run around telling everyone that (except for on the Internet apparently lol). 

[danvillebelle]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yeah we knew that. The kids slept on mattresses on the floor. Which isn’t a big deal to me. Mattresses on floors are still comfortable. And the faucet not being hooked up for 5 years shows that it’s totally unnecessary. She can easily live without a bath tub in her master bathroom. So what’s the point? So much stuff in her home is unnecessary. 

Oh agreed - there were a few short periods when my daughters slept on a mattress on the floor as toddlers, and my grandson has a floor bed now (he's 16 mo).  It's her bragging about it that's weird.  

I giggled at the comments section of her post - one person basically said old-fashioned soaking tubs like Braggie's are a waste of space and she hated hers; they're huge and by the time it's full the water is already quickly cooling off and goes cold in a matter of minutes.  But they look pretty, which I'm sure is the reason Braggie got hers anyway.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Oh agreed - there were a few short periods when my daughters slept on a mattress on the floor as toddlers, and my grandson has a floor bed now (he's 16 mo).  It's her bragging about it that's weird.  

I giggled at the comments section of her post - one person basically said old-fashioned soaking tubs like Braggie's are a waste of space and she hated hers; they're huge and by the time it's full the water is already quickly cooling off and goes cold in a matter of minutes.  But they look pretty, which I'm sure is the reason Braggie got hers anyway.

I doubt she will use it more than once a year. I agree with the poster that it’s a waste. Like so much in that house. 

[Giraffe]

2 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

Serious question: is the shower story a way for Abby to say she and Shaun have sex? Like, what’s the point of telling it otherwise? It’s such a weird detail for me tbh…

That was my thought, too. Plus a shower doesn’t mean they’re automatically spending lots of time together. It could be a 10 minute shower and that’s the extent of their “date” for that night. I don’t care how people spend their date nights but her talking about showering together comes across as a stupid attend grabbing flex more than “aww, they spend quality time together each date night!”

[JermajestyDuggar]

I know showers are always supposed to be sexy but they aren’t. I doubt it’s sexy to watch me shave my pits and legs. And if my husband farts, the hot steamy shower will make it worse. 

Edited January 29, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[SuperNova]

5 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Hey guys, Braggie finally got the faucet connected to her master bathtub!  And it only took five and a half years! 

In another one of her strange flexes, she spent a whole fb post basically bragging about how long it took them to finish the house, including the fact that her kids had no constructed beds for the first two years they lived there.  

It looks awful. The built up block of wood to make the fixtures fit looks like poor planning. Hopefully there's a few leftover boxes of tile to attempt to blend it in. It will be the perfect place to stub your toe. The tub doesn't even line up with the window and chandelier and the mirror is poorly hung. For someone who prides themselves on detail, Abbie's bathroom is a mess. 

[FeministShrew]

I have to admit, I covet that tub. One of my favorite things has always been a nice hot soak in a tub while listening to music. I chose our apartment floor plan specifically because the bathroom had a tub, not a giant soaking tub, but still big enough to soak my aching back & legs. I was so disappointed to find only a walk-in shower with a seat.    Found out that only first floor units have tubs; we’re on the third/top floor. 
If we’re ever able to buy a house (and it’s not looking so good), it definitely has to have a tub big enough for me to stretch out in.

I always wanted my kids to have nice bedrooms and beds, because when I was a kid my room was my safe haven. My son always ended up sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor, even though I tried multiple types of bed - double, bunk, futon. Finally realized it’s because his legs are so long he just preferred to stretch out on the floor. (He’s been somewhere around 6’5” since he was a teenager. My daughter is maybe 5’4”.) But at least I tried.

Mr. Shrew and I shower together most nights. It’s a nice time to talk about our days without the distraction of phones or iPads, and I don’t think it’s ever led to sex, lol. In addition to my unsexy shaving activity, he’s shaving his head, and I’m the one who’s doing the shower farts. It’s also not the only quality time we spend together. It works for us.

[JermajestyDuggar]

This is the thing I’ve realized about the separate big bath tub and showers trend. Many people don’t even use their bath Ruth that much. I’ve talked to so many people who say they use their shower every day but their tub every few months. That just seems like a waste to me. I would much rather have a big shower and no tub because I will rarely use the tub. If a person is really into baths and would probably use it every single day, I might recommend a hot tub. Because they stay hot and have jets. I know it’s a lot of money. But if you use it all the time, it might be worth the money. And just don’t buy a big tub. 

[theotherelise]

The last time my husband and I showered together, it was explicitly foreplay. But I told him I needed to wash my hair and so give me a min first. I always turn the shower on and let it get warm before getting in. I hadn’t even gotten in before husband came in. Like, dude, my hair is long and thick and curly. I need more than 30 seconds! 

I really value time alone, so I don’t want to shower together unless it’s for fun times. And both of us love baths! I don’t have room for anything bigger than standard tub in my en suite, but someday I want to put a soaker tub in the basement bathroom and make it kind of spa like. 

[SuperNova]

The days of Mr and I showering together ended when we moved into our current home. The bathroom is the original one from the 1940's and the shower is built for exactly one person. It looks very much like the one in the picture except my bathroom is blue. There's a huge separate tub that no one has ever used in the five years we've been here. 

[danvillebelle]

OMG SuperNova, I seriously covet that bathroom!  It's amazing! 

We are not tub people, and the older my husband gets the more of a safety issue it's going to be.  He's 6'4, and he has to both step over the tub and duck at the same time to get under the built-in shower door.  We plan to redo our bathroom in the next few years and we want one of those showers that's completely flush with the floor.  Our BIL built one for my late FIL when he lived with them, and it was awesome. 

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

OMG SuperNova, I seriously covet that bathroom!  It's amazing! 

Thanks! I did too until I finally got one. The only way to get the shower really clean is with a toothbrush, razor blade, and a ton of elbow grease. The tiles are gorgeous but after over 70 years they're etched and they quickly become coated in soap scum that has to be scraped with a razor. Then in with the toothbrush to clean the grout. The walls and floors are better and can just be cleaned with a sponge, Tilex, and a few wet Swiffers.  But the shower is the bane of my existence. Be careful what you wish for!!

[bea]

We have a ridiculously large bathroom with a mammoth soaking tub that I barely ever use.  it's TOO DEEP.  I'm not very tall and getting in and out takes actual work.

That weird insert between her floor and the fixtures would be grounds for me getting angry at contractors.  It's a workaround for having fixtures the wrong length.

This is our bathroom and it is ABSURD, you can see the tub on your left, it is really deep and huge but not, oddly, jetted -  we did not build this and frankly I would have skipped the tub and gone for a bigger closet, but that's me.
 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Thanks! I did too until I finally got one. The only way to get the shower really clean is with a toothbrush, razor blade, and a ton of elbow grease. The tiles are gorgeous but after over 70 years they're etched and they quickly become coated in soap scum that has to be scraped with a razor. Then in with the toothbrush to clean the grout. The walls and floors are better and can just be cleaned with a sponge, Tilex, and a few wet Swiffers.  But the shower is the bane of my existence. Be careful what you wish for!!

I would look into some sort of clear coating system that might protect your tiles and grout from build up. There has to be something to protect old tiles and grout.