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Joy & Austin 33: Pregnant Again


Coconut Flan

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On 3/19/2023 at 3:07 AM, Mrs Ms said:

I don’t even think you need to actually dislike a sibling to have nothing to do with them. I am pretty close to all of my siblings but one. I care for that one as much as I care for any person I know,  but we just have zero desire to hang out or even communicate. No idea what they think of me and really don’t care. We didn’t grow up together, but that hasn’t stopped me being close with their full blood sibling. 🤷‍♀️

I am the youngest of three girls. My sisters are 5 & 7 years older than I am. I'm the only one who lives close-ish to our parents, I'm about a hour away. But I'm also the only one who is married with a kiddo. 
When my parents were in really bad shape last year (Mom Parkinson's, Dad's dementia), the sister who is 5 years older than I am, moved in with them. She left her house behind, worked remotely and was their full time care giver. I stepped in to give her a few weeks off - but getting the older sister to do ANYTHING was like pulling teeth. She went on sabbatical from her professor job so she could write a book - and was driving all over (from Maine to Indiana) to crash on friends couches to do research or go to the dentist etc. But she would NOT commit to taking a week of being at our parents house. She was "busy" - but had definite opinions on how my other sister and I could manage our time and lives better to be there. (Never mind that SHE was the only one who had neither a fixed schedule or really, fixed residence... WE had to arrange our lives better). 

Sister who is 5 years older and I fought like crazy as kids. I have scars from it. But I think both of us find the one who is 7 years old - that she is just... selfish. And completely lacking in empathy. I don't think - once my parents are gone - we'll have a lot to do with her. I talk to her on birthdays (if I accidentally answer the phone on mine - because she will talk to you for HOURS about her life, never yours) and the occasional holiday. But ... ugh.

 

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@Meggo I'm so sorry you have those issues with your sister. I have three girls and spaced similarly apart too.  and they fought so much when they were younger I was afraid they'd never ever be close, but thankfully they are now. Both your parents have some pretty big health issues there- that sounds like such a tough place to be, taking care of them and having a family of your own. ❤️

Edited by fluffernutter
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4 hours ago, Meggo said:

I wonder what praying about the pants sounds like.
"Dear Lord, please give us direction on if Joy should wear pants. We know there is war going on, and natural disasters all over the place, hunger, poverty, violence - but pants, Lord - should she wear pants?" 

I wonder if any of them prayed about wearing pants and god told them they shouldn’t. Do we think that Kendra prayed about the pants? I doubt it. Any one of them who prays about the pants ends up hearing from god that it’s A OK. What a coincidence.

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I think Joy at first didn’t care about the pants issue. Wearing skirts just wasn’t a big deal to her. But when she and her sisters stepped back to examine the issue biblically, they didn’t find the strong case for skirts. Some people like Kendra probably just don’t care about pants and don’t want to dig deep and pray about it. And there are crazies like Timothy Rodrigues’s courting partner Heidi who’s willing to go skirts only as a condition of their relationship. I doubt she prayed on it and became convicted. It seems it was more like “Whatever, skirts are fine.”

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5 hours ago, Meggo said:

I am the youngest of three girls. My sisters are 5 & 7 years older than I am. I'm the only one who lives close-ish to our parents, I'm about a hour away. But I'm also the only one who is married with a kiddo. 
When my parents were in really bad shape last year (Mom Parkinson's, Dad's dementia), the sister who is 5 years older than I am, moved in with them. She left her house behind, worked remotely and was their full time care giver. I stepped in to give her a few weeks off - but getting the older sister to do ANYTHING was like pulling teeth. She went on sabbatical from her professor job so she could write a book - and was driving all over (from Maine to Indiana) to crash on friends couches to do research or go to the dentist etc. But she would NOT commit to taking a week of being at our parents house. She was "busy" - but had definite opinions on how my other sister and I could manage our time and lives better to be there. (Never mind that SHE was the only one who had neither a fixed schedule or really, fixed residence... WE had to arrange our lives better). 

Sister who is 5 years older and I fought like crazy as kids. I have scars from it. But I think both of us find the one who is 7 years old - that she is just... selfish. And completely lacking in empathy. I don't think - once my parents are gone - we'll have a lot to do with her. I talk to her on birthdays (if I accidentally answer the phone on mine - because she will talk to you for HOURS about her life, never yours) and the occasional holiday. But ... ugh.

 

I have a younger sister very like your older sister. I haven’t spoken to her since our parents died. Probably never will again. My brother is a poor wee soul (aged61), he drifts in then out again. Not sure if they still speak. My poor Nana would have been devastated if she had known how the family was going to fracture after her death due to my Narc mother and Sister. Families are strange things. 

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13 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

I have a younger sister very like your older sister. I haven’t spoken to her since our parents died. Probably never will again. My brother is a poor wee soul (aged61), he drifts in then out again. Not sure if they still speak. My poor Nana would have been devastated if she had known how the family was going to fracture after her death due to my Narc mother and Sister. Families are strange things. 

I am currently kind of waiting for my grandmother's death so I can finally be free and fully cut ties with my abusive family members. I just can't let gran's heart break, my mum's her only child, a topic that's already enough of heartbreak in her life. I havte how complicated this is.

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Joy also said she didn’t miss the show, and felt it should have finished sooner than it did. 

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On 3/20/2023 at 3:29 PM, Gobsmacked said:

I have a younger sister very like your older sister. I haven’t spoken to her since our parents died. Probably never will again. My brother is a poor wee soul (aged61), he drifts in then out again. Not sure if they still speak. My poor Nana would have been devastated if she had known how the family was going to fracture after her death due to my Narc mother and Sister. Families are strange things. 

   I think my parents would also be saddened by my thin relationship with my sister. We are on speaking terms, but after a particularly bad abusive outburst from her, I confine my interactions with her to texting. That way I can respond selectively to what she says and keep things from going off the rails. I feel bad about this. She is basically a good person, but I think she has unresolved issues from our childhood, and I’m a stand-in for our mother whom she resents still. I don’t think she is happy; she has outbursts of anger at people other than me, but I know I’m powerless to help her.  It isn’t a good feeling. 

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13 hours ago, Bastet said:

   I think my parents would also be saddened by my thin relationship with my sister. We are on speaking terms, but after a particularly bad abusive outburst from her, I confine my interactions with her to texting. That way I can respond selectively to what she says and keep things from going off the rails. I feel bad about this. She is basically a good person, but I think she has unresolved issues from our childhood, and I’m a stand-in for our mother whom she resents still. I don’t think she is happy; she has outbursts of anger at people other than me, but I know I’m powerless to help her.  It isn’t a good feeling. 

My parents seem to understand the weird dynamic. It's like the whole house holds its breath when she's there and exhales when she leaves. She's just a very prickly person to be around. When I was there last summer, and she came to take her shift - my mom wasn't really happy that she was there and wanted me to stay longer. (I should also note - I'm a hour away - AND an international border) We all understand that this sister is prickly and we all just go out of our ways to make sure we don't incur the wrath ... I doubt we'll have much of a relationship once my parents are gone. She doesn't really seem to like us. Or people in general. (weirdly - she's almost exactly like my dad) 

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13 hours ago, Bastet said:

   I think my parents would also be saddened by my thin relationship with my sister. We are on speaking terms, but after a particularly bad abusive outburst from her, I confine my interactions with her to texting. That way I can respond selectively to what she says and keep things from going off the rails.

Exactly. Texting is such a help. My siblings and I have a group text that is used randomly. I don’t always need to respond to comments and/or I can “like” or “love” something without making further comment. What I especially like is that they all see my words at the same time and can interpret them as they like individually. It isn’t me telling one sister something and then she reinterprets it with her own spin on it to fit her agenda and then tells another sibling, often putting me in a bad light when I meant nothing wrong in the first place. Because that’s what used to happen. It took me soooo long to wise up.

Edited by Cam
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