Joy & Austin 33: Pregnant Again

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, Keys said:

 

 

Ahh, thank you guys! My husband and are not very assertive people, but we’ve definitely learned the hard way when to put our foot down in situations like this (i.e. I was asked to babysit said niece and nephew regularly during my mat leave when I was newly postpartum… I love them to bits but that was a hard no). 

WTF?!!! Good job on the hard pass but omg, how incredible rude & entitled for them to even ask!

[Cam]

One of the key words above is “boundaries”. I can’t believe it’s taken me decades to assert myself and set better boundaries with absolutely everyone in my life. The past few years I’ve learned so much in this area. I started setting them after numerous red flags with my siblings. That led to my realizing that even with my husband, I did not have to give in all the time for his spur of the moment ideas. What a game changer. (So much of my behavior was social conditioning that as a female, I was supposed to yield, and make others’ feelings and choices more important than my own.)

A big bone of contention with my husband was my stepson, his wife and our two grandchildren would visit, stay three or four days, bring no food, came and went as they pleased while we catered to them and watched the grandkids. I love them but it would exhaust me. Plus it made me feel servant-like. My husband and I had huge fights about it because he would not ask anything of his son. I did not see why they could not just come for an overnighter. They only live three hours away, it’s not like they lived across the country! It took quite a long time to create boundaries in this situation.
 

So I guess another key is you and your husband should try to be on the same page and back each other up. It’s not asking too much for your guests to respect the boundaries you set.
 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cam

[JDuggs]

The Forsyths went out to California to visit the Vuolos. A closer relationship between Joy and Jinger was not something I expected to see. Things still seem a little frosty between the Forsyths and the Dillards. They don’t appear to socialize at all. All I can guess is that Austin can’t stand Derick, (but for some reason can tolerate Jeremy.) And Jessa seems to be out there by herself doing her own thing without anyone really. I’m still very interested in the sibling dynamics.

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

[Kiki03910]

9 hours ago, JDuggs said:

The Forsyths went out to California to visit the Vuolos. A closer relationship between Joy and Jinger was not something I expected to see. Things still seem a little frosty between the Forsyths and the Dillards. They don’t appear to socialize at all. All I can guess is that Austin can’t stand Derick, (but for some reason can tolerate Jeremy.) And Jessa seems to be out there by herself doing her own thing without anyone really. I’m still very interested in the sibling dynamics.

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

 

 

Lmao at Derick vs Jeremy. If you put a gun to my head, I'm #TeamDerick.

 

*pukes, then lectures him incessantly on his prejudiced beliefs*

[Idlewild]

I would guess that Jeremy is a condescending asshat, but puts on a good show of welcoming the bumpkins to his glamorous life, whereas Derick is probably just a condescending asshat who struggles to hide his irritation with people less intelligent than himself.

[Cam]

Wow. That’s the normal-est photo of Jinger I’ve ever seen. She and Joy look a far cry away from the sickening, ruffled prairie, modesty-panel-covered dresses their mother insisted on them wearing as young girls. 

Sibling dynamics interest me too. I think they fluctuate. I have many siblings and relationships with them ebb and flow for varied reasons. 

Would you say Joy and Austin’s visit was strategically scheduled to show endorsement of Jinger’s book? Seems that way to me. I makes me hopeful that Joy will limit her family size like Jinger. Maybe Joy will stop at four. 

The brothers-in-law dynamic is separate from the siblings and tons of reasons for that beginning with the way men don’t prioritize relationships the way women do. All they really have to do is hang out and keep quiet while the sisters visit. 

Maybe Jill acts too big sistery towards Joy who prefers being seen as an adult so they don’t socialize much. Not sure about Jessa. They say she’s been quiet on social media for awhile. 

Edited February 16, 2023 by Cam

[Mama Mia]

40 minutes ago, Cam said:

Wow. That’s the normal-est photo of Jinger I’ve ever seen. She and Joy look a far cry away from the sickening, ruffled prairie, modesty-panel-covered dresses their mother insisted on them wearing as young girls. 

Sibling dynamics interest me too. I think they fluctuate. I have many siblings and relationships with them ebb and flow for varied reasons. 

Would you say Joy and Austin’s visit was strategically scheduled to show endorsement of Jinger’s book? Seems that way to me. I makes me hopeful that Joy will limit her family size like Jinger. Maybe Joy will stop at four. 

The brothers-in-law dynamic is separate from the siblings and tons of reasons for that beginning with the way men don’t prioritize relationships the way women do. All they really have to do is hang out and keep quiet while the sisters visit. 

Maybe Jill acts too big sistery towards Joy who prefers being seen as an adult so they don’t socialize much. Not sure about Jessa. They say she’s been quiet on social media for awhile. 

The sibling dynamics are one of the most interesting things about them. 

Joy and Jinger seem very different in terms of interests - but thinking about it they have a lot of timeline similarities.  When Jill got married Joy lost her sister-mom, and got even more bumped up to “big girl” status - with more responsibility and shoved away from the brothers she was so close to. Jinger had Jessa as her best friend and support structure for her more anxious personality - but she left to get married.  Then they were both the blindsided still at home victims when the molestation new broke and threw their lives in to chaos. Courted and married close together. Their kids are around the same age. Lots of things to draw them together.  Similarly Jill and Jessa shared a lot of those same experiences. 

Husbands personalities play a big role of course, but it’s also really easy to avoid any couple gatherings when you have young kids and don’t live next door. Jessa  might go to Jill’s baby shower, or Jill will drive to lunch with her mom and sisters - but Derrick and Ben and Austin can beg off on game night or a movie.  
 

 

 

 

 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

I can see Joy and Jinger having a lot in common. They both seem to be very conservative and religious still. They both have had to come to terms at some level with realizing what Josh did and becoming moms to little girls themselves.

I think both of them have upgraded with respect to their in laws. Compared to the duggars both those sets of in laws seem more normal while also being open and welcoming to the daughters in laws(so maybe this gave them something to compare the duggars against)

If I had to pust Austin and Jeremy into categories  they both are more "jock" than Derrick who reads "nerd." Maybe Jeremy and Austin connect on sportiness, even if not quite the same sports?

Both these guys seem concerned with making money and doing business. And I think both guys realize there's money to be made off their wives fame. I feel convinced that Austin is only reconciled to being filmed for youtube based on what they could make (I assume from Carlin's insider info).

As compared with Ben...who does what now? And contributes how? Ben I think is happy to be a kept man and let Jessa run the show.

I kinda feel like Derrick probably alienates all his in laws through his attitude.

I do think it's very interesting how siblings interact over time.

 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

2 minutes ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

As compared with Ben...who does what now?

Ben is a pastor at a smallish church.  That's where they got the house they're living in.  I can't imagine it pays well, so Jessa probably still brings in the lion's share of the money with her influencing.

[Cam]

21 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

The sibling dynamics are one of the most interesting things about them. 

Joy and Jinger seem very different in terms of interests - but thinking about it they have a lot of timeline similarities.  When Jill got married Joy lost her sister-mom, and got even more bumped up to “big girl” status - with more responsibility and shoved away from the brothers she was so close to. Jinger had Jessa as her best friend and support structure for her more anxious personality - but she left to get married.  Then they were both the blindsided still at home victims when the molestation new broke and threw their lives in to chaos. Courted and married close together. Their kids are around the same age. Lots of things to draw them together.  Similarly Jill and Jessa shared a lot of those same experiences. 

Husbands personalities play a big role of course, but it’s also really easy to avoid any couple gatherings when you have young kids and don’t live next door. Jessa  might go to Jill’s baby shower, or Jill will drive to lunch with her mom and sisters - but Derrick and Ben and Austin can beg off on game night or a movie.  
 

Good summary of what the Jinger/Joy dynamic could be influenced by. Definitely having young daughters had to affect how they view the molestations and the way it was all dealt with. I’m not sure how much discussion they’d even have about it; as sisters, there might be a knowing without putting things into words.

 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

15 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Ben is a pastor at a smallish church.  That's where they got the house they're living in.  I can't imagine it pays well, so Jessa probably still brings in the lion's share of the money with her influencing.

Yeah exactly - he does what now?  I've known some pastors of small southern churches. They ain't making remodel a whole house and let wife stay at home with gaggle of kids money.

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

Yeah exactly - he does what now?  I've known some pastors of small southern churches. They ain't making remodel a whole house and let wife stay at home with gaggle of kids money.

And was it ever determined that he is the called Pastor and not just an associate or community minister? The home aside, because JB could have bartered for that in one of his many schemes, I thought the last we heard was that Ben was an associate preacher of some sort.

[AussieKrissy]

On 2/17/2023 at 2:01 AM, Cam said:

Wow. That’s the normal-est photo of Jinger I’ve ever seen. She and Joy look a far cry away from the sickening, ruffled prairie, modesty-panel-covered dresses their mother insisted on them wearing as young girls. 

It is a normal looking photo. 
jinger still looks strained though. She hasn’t unlearned the jut chin forward and big fake smile look of her mother. It makes her look like she is trying to hard and therefore covering up repressed emotions. (Which may or may not be the case). Now but most prob was back when she was at home. 

[OldFadedStar]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

And was it ever determined that he is the called Pastor and not just an associate or community minister? The home aside, because JB could have bartered for that in one of his many schemes, I thought the last we heard was that Ben was an associate preacher of some sort.

When I looked at the website, Ben was preaching every single Sunday. It's possible they have like a head pastor and a teaching pastor. I couldn't find any info on that when I looked a few months ago. I may try and see if I can find the website again. 

ETA: Found it. Ben is preaching most Sundays. He is guest speaking at another church this weekend and on their Facebook page they said that Ben has been the "lead pastor" of Immanuel Church for the past year. 

It's Immanuel Baptist Church in Springdale, AR.

Edited February 18, 2023 by OldFadedStar

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Joy posted a YouTube vlog about visiting jinger. It was more b-roll than Evan Stewart's videos which is saying something.

 

The only take away I have is wow. Jinger's house has a cool view.

[front hugs > duggs]

On 2/20/2023 at 9:10 PM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

Joy posted a YouTube vlog about visiting jinger. It was more b-roll than Evan Stewart's videos which is saying something.

 

The only take away I have is wow. Jinger's house has a cool view.

I feel like Joy struggled to show much of their trip because she was respecting Jinger’s policy of leaving the Vuolo kids off social media (not saying that’s a bad thing!)

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

33 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I feel like Joy struggled to show much of their trip because she was respecting Jinger’s policy of leaving the Vuolo kids off social media (not saying that’s a bad thing!)

That and maybe they didn't actually DO much of anything.  Which is fine, hanging out with family us fine. Trying to monetize it is weird tho

[LillyP]

On 2/10/2023 at 7:51 AM, Cam said:

A big bone of contention with my husband was my stepson, his wife and our two grandchildren would visit, stay three or four days, bring no food, came and went as they pleased while we catered to them and watched the grandkids. I love them but it would exhaust me. Plus it made me feel servant-like. My husband and I had huge fights about it because he would not ask anything of his son. I did not see why they could not just come for an overnighter. They only live three hours away, it’s not like they lived across the country! It took quite a long time to create boundaries in this situation.
 

So I guess another key is you and your husband should try to be on the same page and back each other up. It’s not asking too much for your guests to respect the boundaries you set.
 

This is a great example of why making expectations clear from the onset is super important because people have different ways of doing things when it comes to hosting guests, if it's something that's very different from the norm, they might be doing it without even knowing that it makes you mad. I think being good house guests is important regardless of who you're visiting, but within my family there's definitely a more relaxed mindset/expectation when visiting family. When we visit the grandparents they just automatically stock the house with things they know we like, without us asking or requesting. We always pick up/pay for lunch/dinner for everyone when we visit, but they're usually pushing us out the door to go do things while they keep the kids because let's be honest while they want to see us they really just want the grandkids...haha. That's just how our families are, so it would honestly never occur to me that I'd need to bring along all the food we plan to eat or stress about if the grandparents were watching the kids too much. 

Before having kids I would have probably had a similar mindset (why not just stay one night), now with two little ones, a single over-nighter just would not be worth all the work it takes to pack up everything my kids need to spend the night down the street let alone a 3+ hour drive.  We just simply wouldn't come visit, which again, is fine because everyone does things differently. I really boils down to preference. It's OK not to enjoy having house guests or want to host people, it sounds like in this situation they might be better suited to staying a hotel when they come to down and just drop in for a quick visit. 

 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Joy posted a nothing youtube video.

Whoever is editing her videos is doing crap work. The sound levels from talking to MUSIC are all over the place. They keep sort of cutting her off in the editing. There's no sense of storyline.

It's like somebody dropped all the pieces and had to jam them back together real quick but some went under the couch and some aren't actually fitting but hey it's there. Ta dah!

They showed raw cookie dough in cast iron but then no result after baking in the "pizza oven" (which is apparently just a gas oven? I thought pizza oven was a heat it all up then turn off the heat to bake thing?)

I want to know how the cast iron cookies turned out. Gr!

I'm extra annoyed that joy now also has click bait titles. I can't imagine any scenario where Austin moves to LA. So...the click bait implies to me joy is considering divorce. (She is not. Just the stupid click bait title makes me follow this line of thought).

 

[marmalade]

That title made me AVOID the video. There's like a negative eleventy billion percent chance that those rubes move to LA. 🙄

[Cam]

8 hours ago, marmalade said:

That title made me AVOID the video. There's like a negative eleventy billion percent chance that those rubes move to LA. 🙄

Agreed. My mind immediately heard “It’s the Beverly HillBillies!” and its banjo theme song playing when envisioning Austin moving to El Aye. Altho, hey, maybe they’d consider it the basis of a reality show……..

Edited February 25, 2023 by Cam

[Jinder Roles]

On 2/16/2023 at 4:59 AM, Kiki03910 said:

Lmao at Derick vs Jeremy. If you put a gun to my head, I'm #TeamDerick.

 

*pukes, then lectures him incessantly on his prejudiced beliefs*

If you put one to mine I’d be #TeamJeremy🤢😷🫣. I hate him most off all fundie husbands but the man is diabolical. Very media savvy and calculated.  I hate when people execute their evil plans poorly(i.e Derick) 😂😂

*pukes, then exposes his hypocrisy to the world*

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

It was also weird for the click bait title that in no way did they even have a silly conversation about moving to LA.

It wasn't referenced at all unless I dazed out.

It might gave made some mildly interesting content if they had a conversation with jinger and Jermy saying "oh yeah what are some pros?" Abd then Joy or Austin actually say "but the cons! Such as..."

It does appear that their kids really had fun together. Joy and Jinger seemed like best friends and there were a few shots of Austin and Jermy walking around chatting in the background (I'm imagining a conversation about how wives youtubr channels are going. Oh you got a hello fresh sponsor? Nice)

  Seems like they all get along well.

[Idlewild]

@WatchingTheTireFireBurn oh yes, comparing notes- ‘Jinger’s shilling allows me to be a bow tie wearing pseudo intellectual religious academic, but with lots of meals out and expensive shoes!’

’Cool, Joy’s let’s me be a check shirt wearing house flipper, but with new vehicles and lots of trips and expensive hunting kit’

’but we are still the headships, right?’

[Queen Of Hearts]

19 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

 

I'm extra annoyed that joy now also has click bait titles. I can't imagine any scenario where Austin moves to LA. So...the click bait implies to me joy is considering divorce. (She is not. Just the stupid click bait title makes me follow this line of thought).

 

Same.  I hate this new trend with "influencers" to use click bait titles.  Such titles are the main reason I stopped following The Minimal Mom, because it was obvious she stopped caring about her message and started caring about the clicks and $.