Maxwell 55: Anna and Mary Adventures at ABC - Freedom!

[SPHASH]

20 minutes ago, ClareDeLune said:

Sarah looked radiant and happy and that's all that really matters, but they had better hospitality for his birthday party than for Sarah's wedding, and I can't seem to get over that.

It's lovely that Chelsy stepped up (and by extension John) but Sarah did so much for the whole family for 40 years and she got a few cakes and cookies at her reception, from the church ladies. I want to go back in time and take Steve's hot food counter away from his birthday party. 🤣

https://blog.titus2.com/2021/08/07/happy-70th-steve/

Rereading that post made remember how defrauding Joe and Jesse's legs are.😝

[Black Aliss]

On 11/14/2022 at 12:17 PM, SPHASH said:

I like the ring security idea.

That was adorable. And a great way to find a role for three boys!

[Black Aliss]

On 11/15/2022 at 7:31 AM, Hane said:

I absolutely love how Chelsy’s blog post seems to be a big fat eff you to Stevehovah, but done so subtly that only insiders would identify it as such!

You mean like how the ladies of the church put together a nice reception? And Chelsy and John hosted the "after-party"?

I can only image the horror on Steve's face when Chelsy's friend (presumably also Sarah's friend) showed up in church wearing that tank top, with bra straps showing.

On 11/15/2022 at 9:47 AM, hoipolloi said:

Absolutely. Given the timetable, I'm now thinking that Sarah's emancipation could have begun 2-3 years before she eventually moved out on her own in 2021. Chelsy & John married in 2017 when, according to Chelsy, Sarah became good friends with the photographer, Laura, who gave her "lots of advice on navigating online dating." 

It's also possible that Steve found out about Sarah's online chatting, lost his shit over it, reminded her that his house=his rules, and she said, "Fine! I'll get my own place!"

[FloraDoraDolly]

I don't know anything about Laura, or the pastor of the Maxwells' church. I expect they have certain beliefs that are very different from mine (even though I am a mainline Christian). But they helped Sarah, Anna, and Mary break free from the hold that their parents had over them, and all three are now living their own lives. So hooray for Laura and for the pastor!

[Captain Obvious]

10 hours ago, ClareDeLune said:

Sarah looked radiant and happy and that's all that really matters, but they had better hospitality for his birthday party than for Sarah's wedding, and I can't seem to get over that.

It's lovely that Chelsy stepped up (and by extension John) but Sarah did so much for the whole family for 40 years and she got a few cakes and cookies at her reception, from the church ladies. I want to go back in time and take Steve's hot food counter away from his birthday party. 🤣

https://blog.titus2.com/2021/08/07/happy-70th-steve/

To be fair, the wedding was an afternoon event, as fundie weddings usually are, so snacks/cookies were more appropriate for that time of day.

Steve's birthday celebration was during the evening, so you can expect a dinner to be served. I mean, it's not like they would hold anything at 9pm or after dinner, because kids were there - so a dinner would definitely be expected at that time of day.

[NoseyNellie]

@Captain Obvious and with the afternoon wedding the point it a quick snack and make this party short cause the couple wants to get outta dodge FAST!   Which makes Chelsy hosting the garden party so nice.. Everyone DID get to eat and socialize and catch up in a casual and relaxed way.  What makes that even MORE fun is that we can imagine Steve sitting on the outskirts fuming as he hears all the friends and relatives just bubbling over with excitement that Sarah and Kory were the perfect couple, going on about the change in her, how happy they are for her moving and living with her husband.  The tidbits of convo that give the older granddaughters hope that they will not be living at home until 40, that Mary and Anna are already feeling relief  over.. they know they have their sister and younger sister in laws on their sides...

[ClareDeLune]

1 hour ago, Captain Obvious said:

To be fair, the wedding was an afternoon event, as fundie weddings usually are, so snacks/cookies were more appropriate for that time of day.

Steve's birthday celebration was during the evening, so you can expect a dinner to be served. I mean, it's not like they would hold anything at 9pm or after dinner, because kids were there - so a dinner would definitely be expected at that time of day.

I just looked on the maxwell blog on the weddings tag and I don't know but all the other weddings seemed to have so many personal touches from the family. Slideshows from childhood and more than one cupcake each. BUT half the photos are in terrible sepia or have ghoulish vignetting so if Sarah got a good photographer then that's one thing she had over the others! 

[Bethy]

12 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

That was adorable. And a great way to find a role for three boys!

I was at a wedding once with Ring Security (in that case it seemed to be designed to not humiliate a boy who was really much too old to sedately walk down the aisle carrying the rings on a lacy pillow) and they used the Mission: Impossible theme for his entrance.

I kinda hope they did that at Sarah's wedding. Because I'm sure that music would've "offended" some people who needed to be offended.

12 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I can only image the horror on Steve's face when Chelsy's friend (presumably also Sarah's friend) showed up in church wearing that tank top, with bra straps showing.

If it weren't for the fact that her wedding was on the 20th, and Steve had already posted the "naked and barefoot" Seriously screed, I'd think the two were related.

[Bethy]

2 hours ago, ClareDeLune said:

I just looked on the maxwell blog on the weddings tag and I don't know but all the other weddings seemed to have so many personal touches from the family. Slideshows from childhood and more than one cupcake each. BUT half the photos are in terrible sepia or have ghoulish vignetting so if Sarah got a good photographer then that's one thing she had over the others! 

I wish we could see the full album of Sarah's wedding photos but of course I'm sure the photographer leaves the choice about public posting up to the couple and I can definitely see Sarah wanting privacy. However I'd like to bet that we wouldn't see any getting-ready photos with empty hangers on racks or bright ugly extension cords, or bathroom stall doors, or any of the overdone sepia/vignetting you mention.

Speaking of getting ready - are we sure about what house she got ready in? In the picture from Chelsy's blog where Chelsy is helping Sarah, they look like they're in a kitchen. The oak cupboard doors and white door trim look like the Fathership kitchen, but the green doesn't seem quite the right shade, and also I can't find pics on the Maxblog that show any section of countertop that DOESN'T have tan tiled backsplash so I'm not sure. I hope Sarah was welcome to get ready in her parents' home if that's what she wanted. (I don't call it her childhood home, since she was in her late 20s - though living at home like a teenager - when they built it.) 

14 hours ago, ClareDeLune said:

Sarah looked radiant and happy and that's all that really matters, but they had better hospitality for his birthday party than for Sarah's wedding, and I can't seem to get over that.

It's lovely that Chelsy stepped up (and by extension John) but Sarah did so much for the whole family for 40 years and she got a few cakes and cookies at her reception, from the church ladies. I want to go back in time and take Steve's hot food counter away from his birthday party. 🤣

I would like to point out how much better the decorations were for Sarah's wedding. We don't really have a way to gauge what a Maxwell DAUGHTER wedding ought to look like, as this is the first one - previous Maxweddings were all the sons', and traditionally the family of the groom provides only the rehearsal dinner while the bride's family provides the reception. So whether the Maxwells themselves stepped up, or it was a mission of mercy by the church ladies, she had a beautiful setup for her reception which stands in contrast to Steve's stark, undecorated one.

[Foursquare]

In the picture of Sarah and Kory facing each other and holding hands in the church (with the minister), is Steve (on the left side) recording the wedding on his phone, or am I imagining things?

[Bethy]

8 minutes ago, Foursquare said:

In the picture of Sarah and Kory facing each other and holding hands in the church (with the minister), is Steve (on the left side) recording the wedding on his phone, or am I imagining things?

Impossible to tell whether he's recording or just taking a picture, but the light and dark patches on his screen correspond to Kory's suit and Sarah's dress from his vantage point.

[molecule]

It looks to me like Sarah is getting ready in a room at the church. I've belonged to several churches with those kinds of storage cabinets,  it looks like there is hand sanitizer or an emergency info sign to the left of the door,  and the tub on the counter has colorful items in it...so probably a Sunday school room.

Edited November 19, 2022 by molecule

[ElizaB]

I feel like we snark a lot about the lackluster food at Fundi weddings; but to be fair this isn't really a fundi thing- it is more of a certain geographic regions in the US thing. A "cake and punch" reception is what is completely normal in a lot of areas. They aren't doing it to be cheap or inhospitable- they are doing it because that is what a wedding reception is. 

What we should be all snarking on; however, is that NONE OF CHELSY'S KIDS ARE SITTING REAR FACING IN THE LAST PHOTO. Kids should be rear facing until AT LEAST 2. Preferably longer. She has definitely taken the Bont's approach to kids safety. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

I feel like we snark a lot about the lackluster food at Fundi weddings; but to be fair this isn't really a fundi thing- it is more of a certain geographic regions in the US thing. A "cake and punch" reception is what is completely normal in a lot of areas. They aren't doing it to be cheap or inhospitable- they are doing it because that is what a wedding reception is. 

What we should be all snarking on; however, is that NONE OF CHELSY'S KIDS ARE SITTING REAR FACING IN THE LAST PHOTO. Kids should be rear facing until AT LEAST 2. Preferably longer. She has definitely taken the Bont's approach to kids safety. 

Oh I would say out of all the Maxwell grandchildren, Chelsy and John’s are least safe. The Bontragers are anti vaccine, barely follow basic car seat guidelines, most likely won’t bother with helmets when they start to ride bikes, and she gives her kids raw milk. I’m sure there are a million more things like taking babies to chiropractors and believing in woo bullshit like amber necklaces. 

[Maggie Mae]

2 hours ago, ElizaB said:

I feel like we snark a lot about the lackluster food at Fundi weddings; but to be fair this isn't really a fundi thing- it is more of a certain geographic regions in the US thing. A "cake and punch" reception is what is completely normal in a lot of areas. They aren't doing it to be cheap or inhospitable- they are doing it because that is what a wedding reception is.

I  have never heard of that before the Duggars/Maxwells. Even on the "dry" side of my family, they still get the VA/community center/church basement and have a buffet/potluck/plated meal, hire a dj, and have cake, even if it's gross and boring. I can't imagine expecting people to given up an entire day, buy a gift, drive/fly in, and just have cake and a communal bowl of sugar water. How is that celebratory? Not to mention, gowns and suits are expensive, you've spent the time and money to get hair, makeup, nails done. You put on nice shoes and expensive foundation garments. Why not have a wedding followed by a celebration? Spend time together dancing and singing and talking? Let your hair fall out a bit. Do the dumb dances with the kids and old people. Have a drink or two, enjoy yourself. 

I just think it seems sad. I  went to a wedding once for a friend of a friend. It was really small and weird, and we had to wait for two hours while they did pictures, then we went into the basement and ate - appetizers/tapas, cake, and virgin mixed drinks. It wasn't very joyful, and there wasn't dancing but at least they tried to do something nice for their guests. 

[Black Aliss]

A relative got married this summer. There was a dress code for the attendees--evening gowns (it was an afternoon wedding) in specific colors. I sent my regrets and a nice gift card. Thought I was probably missing out on a meal worthy of the formal requirements but no, I heard later, they served pizza.

[Coconut Flan]

I grew up in the south.  I didn't attend a wedding that served more than cake, cookies, mints, nuts, and punch until my own.  I broke out the crazy and served mini-ham biscuits that my grandmother made along with the standard menu.  If anyone had served a full meal or had dancing or a big party, it would have been the town gossip for ten years.  

It would have been shameful not to have a full sit down rehearsal dinner though.  

Edited November 20, 2022 by Coconut Flan

[Teaistheway]

3 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I grew up in the south.  I didn't attend a wedding that served more than cake, cookies, mints, nuts, and punch until my own.

I've never been to a wedding here (England) that hasn't had a full sit down three course meal with wine (usually champagne) in a nice venue followed by an evening disco/buffet. I actually like the idea that people decide to get married and then do with simple catering and without huge fuss/expense and years of planning and stress.

[Melissa1977]

7 hours ago, ElizaB said:

What we should be all snarking on; however, is that NONE OF CHELSY'S KIDS ARE SITTING REAR FACING IN THE LAST PHOTO. Kids should be rear facing until AT LEAST 2. Preferably longer. She has definitely taken the Bont's approach to kids safety

I noticed that. Another thing I noticed is that both boys hold their own hands at the wedding pictures. Maybe I'm reading too much, but considering the "no touch" training Chelsy and John did to them, the picture made me feel uncomfortable. Friendly reminder Chelsy put them on strict schedules since newborns, plus the sleep and notouch training. They dress cute, but they are raised as hard as Christopher kids.

[Howl]

On 11/18/2022 at 11:37 PM, FloraDoraDolly said:

But they helped Sarah, Anna, and Mary break free from the hold that their parents had over them, and all three are now living their own lives. So hooray for Laura and for the pastor!

Plus Teri going to that church and playing an active role!  Steve is likely more of an oppressive, suffocating, controlling husband than we can possibly imagine.  I'm sure Teri loves him, but the references to Teri not being able to remind Steve of this or that because it's forbidden -- so awful. 

That makes it even more important that she's out and about interacting with her fellow humans at church and having even the tiniest amount of personal agency. 

[crawfishgirl]

On 11/19/2022 at 10:54 PM, Coconut Flan said:

I grew up in the south.  I didn't attend a wedding that served more than cake, cookies, mints, nuts, and punch until my own.  I broke out the crazy and served mini-ham biscuits that my grandmother made along with the standard menu.  If anyone had served a full meal or had dancing or a big party, it would have been the town gossip for ten years.  

It would have been shameful not to have a full sit down rehearsal dinner though.  

I think it depends on the particular state in the south.  I grew up in Louisiana, and the weddings there were so much fun.  Lots of food, alcohol, music and dancing.  The state may have its issues, but it likes a good party.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think the wedding norms have changed over time. What was the norm in 1970 isn’t the norm in 2022. 

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, crawfishgirl said:

I think it depends on the particular state in the south.  I grew up in Louisiana, and the weddings there were so much fun.  Lots of food, alcohol, music and dancing.  The state may have its issues, but it likes a good party.  

Not everyone in Louisiana is the same color, creed or income level.  A white Baptist wedding in Louisiana is not the same as a Cajun Catholic one. : )

[crawfishgirl]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Not everyone in Louisiana is the same color, creed or income level.  A white Baptist wedding in Louisiana is not the same as a Cajun Catholic one. : )

True!  I'm from the central / southern part of the state, and while I'm not Catholic, they predominate in that area.  The northern part of the state is more Baptist, and probably not as fun.

[fellowunfundie]

Mary Maxwell is engaged, per fb profile picture update 16 hours ago.