Maxwell 55: Anna and Mary Adventures at ABC - Freedom!

[Bethy]

15 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

 No sign of Mary's beau that I can see.  

I think I spy him in the backyard party photo, over on the right with some other guys, giving a thumbs-up.

Know who I don't see? Steve and Teri. GiGi is there (glad to see that after our concern at NOT seeing her in early wedding family group shots) presumably with Aunt Tami, and I'm pretty sure I see all the siblings except Joe (but I do see Elissa, so I'm sure he's there) but no sign of Steve and Teri.

[illegalpets]

On 11/9/2022 at 7:47 PM, Cults-r-us said:

But where they live is not flat, flat, flat. That flat part is 3-4 hours west. Nonetheless, I hope they find jobs where they're happy.

I was talking about Kansas!

[theologygeek]

My thoughts on the pictures...  How wonderful to see Sarah so happy!  She made a beautiful bride.  Mary and Anna look fantastic.  Chelsy's kids are so cute.  Anna Marie's daughters are still in those ugly dresses.  For some reason her daughters always look scared.  She needs to put those girls in shorts and let them roll in the mud, dig for buried treasure, and catch bugs.  Let kids be kids.  Loved the yard pics.  They're in shorts and pants now and probably don't give a hoot what anyone says.  Sam was there.  

[Fun-Dee]

2 hours ago, Bethy said:

I think I spy him in the backyard party photo, over on the right with some other guys, giving a thumbs-up.

Know who I don't see? Steve and Teri. GiGi is there (glad to see that after our concern at NOT seeing her in early wedding family group shots) presumably with Aunt Tami, and I'm pretty sure I see all the siblings except Joe (but I do see Elissa, so I'm sure he's there) but no sign of Steve and Teri.

Good eye!  I think that's Joe right next to him.  He's the only one with a beard other than Nathan, who is balding. 

[Hane]

I absolutely love how Chelsy’s blog post seems to be a big fat eff you to Stevehovah, but done so subtly that only insiders would identify it as such!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Honestly, I don’t much miss the Maxwell blog. They really didn’t give us that much info anyway. If the blog was still up, I bet Steve and Teri would have said nothing about Sarah meeting Kory online. They would say very little about Mary and Anna’s lives on campus. We get way more info from ABC Facebook and Chelsy. 

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

We get way more info from ABC Facebook and Chelsy. 

True, and this makes me wonder if Steve & Teri check on their daughters on ABC's social media as much as we do.

With Chelsey's revelations about Sarah & Kory meeting online + the coaching that Chelseyʻs friend gave to Sarah on how to negotiate online interactions, I also wonder if Sarah's online dating activity preceded or followed the move into her own home.

Weʻll never know, of course, but we can wonder!

[theologygeek]

29 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

True, and this makes me wonder if Steve & Teri check on their daughters on ABC's social media as much as we do.

With Chelsey's revelations about Sarah & Kory meeting online + the coaching that Chelseyʻs friend gave to Sarah on how to negotiate online interactions, I also wonder if Sarah's online dating activity preceded or followed the move into her own home.

Weʻll never know, of course, but we can wonder!

Teri had said that she was Sarah's internet buddy or however she worded it.  She could see everything that Sarah did online.  That was only a few years ago.  I  give Sarah a lot of credit.  She was probably terrified at the thought but she went out of her comfort zone.  That is not easy when you're conditioned for years to believe a certain way.  

[hoipolloi]

6 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

That is not easy when you're conditioned for years to believe a certain way.  

Absolutely. Given the timetable, I'm now thinking that Sarah's emancipation could have begun 2-3 years before she eventually moved out on her own in 2021. Chelsy & John married in 2017 when, according to Chelsy, Sarah became good friends with the photographer, Laura, who gave her "lots of advice on navigating online dating." 

So, the conditioning of years could take at least a couple of years to undo.

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Absolutely. Given the timetable, I'm now thinking that Sarah's emancipation could have begun 2-3 years before she eventually moved out on her own in 2021. Chelsy & John married in 2017 when, according to Chelsy, Sarah became good friends with the photographer, Laura, who gave her "lots of advice on navigating online dating." 

So, the conditioning of years could take at least a couple of years to undo.

Plus the approach of her 40th birthday could have been part of it. Some people don’t care about birthdays or numbers. But sometimes it forces people to think about where they thought they would be at 40. Maybe Sarah started thinking about where she thought she would be at 40. And she didn’t want to be stuck in the same house, with the same boring schedule, the same job, the same sister roommates and the same life she’s always had. 

[Loveday]

I met my husband in high school, but we didn't date then. I met him again about seven years after graduation--in a bar. Go figure.😏

[Nothing if not critical]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Plus the approach of her 40th birthday could have been part of it. Some people don’t care about birthdays or numbers. But sometimes it forces people to think about where they thought they would be at 40. Maybe Sarah started thinking about where she thought she would be at 40. And she didn’t want to be stuck in the same house, with the same boring schedule, the same job, the same sister roommates and the same life she’s always had. 

Yup. I remember when I turned 40, I thought that I was perfectly fine with it - because I had done and achieved everything I really wanted to until then. So it really was just a number. But if things had been different, I'd definitely have worried more. Not to say that there's a fixed set of things you have to achieve at any given point, just that I was where I wanted to be in life, and that made it so much better.

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Yup. I remember when I turned 40, I thought that I was perfectly fine with it - because I had done and achieved everything I really wanted to until then. So it really was just a number. But if things had been different, I'd definitely have worried more. Not to say that there's a fixed set of things you have to achieve at any given point, just that I was where I wanted to be in life, and that made it so much better.

I just turned 40 so it’s something I think about. I have lots of friends who turned 40 before me and we talk about it. So I figured Sarah must’ve thought about it at least a little. I don’t feel behind it like I haven’t succeeded in my goals. But I also don’t feel super successful in my life at 40. To be honest, I’ve been pretty apathetic about the whole thing. 

[browngrl]

I never had a problem with turning 40 or even 50. For me, the watershed moment was when I turned 30.

My sister had just gotten engaged and here I was alone. I spent the week leading up to my birthday having a pity party for myself - all culminating in spending my birthday alone and the "party game" I played was calculating how many more weekends I'd be spending alone till I died. Anyway I woke up the day after and decided enough was enough. I had so many good things going on that it was stupid to focus on one lack. I changed jobs to one I like better. Bought a new car. Went on a nice holiday. Took courses in things I enjoyed rather that as a way to meet someone eg learned how to sail. Life was good.

I credit being happy with myself as one of the things that attracted my husband in the first place. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I was 30 weeks pregnant when I turned 30 so I didn’t actually think much about it. I guess I was too busy. I will say 40 makes me feel much older than 39 did. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 10/31/2022 at 7:21 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

In my college friends group, one of our girlfriends got married the summer before senior year. Her groom had just graduated because he was one year ahead of us. We were all surprised. She wasn’t super religious. Just run of the mill Catholic. Her groom wasn’t super religious but his parents were fairly religious so maybe they pressured him to propose. I bet his parents would have been mad if they had lived together before marriage. Maybe that was part of it. But all of my other friends who met their husbands in college waited until after we all graduated to get married. 

I should have said old-time "Bible Colleges"--today's Christian Universities.

[caitrona]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was 30 weeks pregnant when I turned 30 so I didn’t actually think much about it. I guess I was too busy. I will say 40 makes me feel much older than 39 did. 

I had a 2 week old (kid 2, arrived 6 weeks early via c-section) and my mother decided it was the perfect time to throw me a surprise party.  ..... yeah.

40 didn't particularly phase me, but I just turned 45 and my body has decided that working is optional, so now I feel *really* old. 

Edited November 16, 2022 by caitrona
forgot a word

[sixcatatty]

On 11/14/2022 at 6:48 PM, SassyPants said:

Me too, actually outside of a bar. My fake ID didn’t pass muster, he was a friend of my group of friends and volunteered to give me a ride home on his motorcycle. I was racy like that in 1978?

I met mine at a poker game. I was the one playing poker.

[Lady Grass Lake]

On 11/1/2022 at 4:54 PM, hoipolloi said:

When I got married, in the Early Jurassic, my wedding dress cost $110. Of course, I never wore it again and it hung in a closet in my parentsʻ home for years till it was donated to a church thrift sale -- hopefully, it went on to live a happy second life as a dress-up outfit or something. 15 years later, my brother & SIL had a much bigger and fancier wedding. Her dress was amazing but I was even more amazed when she confided that sheʻd rented it. I was filled with admiration & thoughts of "Why didn't we think of that?"

Morals of these stories: by used if you can (although I usually can't find thrift store stuff that fits) or rent if that's possible, especially when it comes to fancy wedding duds.

There are groups all over the US and some in other countries, called Angel Gowns.   They take wedding dresses and use the materials to make funeral clothes for stillborn, or short lived babies.   They will look for thrift shop gowns but will also love to get gowns donated from anyone.   They make little envelopes for really early miscarriages, and dresses or suits for full term babies.  The gowns are packaged with a card, and some other gifts for the  parents and are donated to hospitals who give them free of charge to the grieving parents.  This hit home to me because my first child, a daughter, passed away the day after she was born.  I had complications from the c-section so my mother-in-law made the arrangements.  She asked me what I wanted to dress her in, and I just froze up.   How do you make a decision like that.   I remembered I had this really nice pink sleeper from a shower, so I said that.  My warped brain thought a frilly dress would be too cold.  I would have loved to have been given one of these gowns.  

[Cults-r-us]

14 hours ago, illegalpets said:

I was talking about Kansas!

So am I! Where they live is wooded, with hilly areas and farmland.

[MamaJunebug]

13 hours ago, theologygeek said:

My thoughts on the pictures...  How wonderful to see Sarah so happy!  She made a beautiful bride.  Mary and Anna look fantastic.  Chelsy's kids are so cute.  Anna Marie's daughters are still in those ugly dresses.  For some reason her daughters always look scared.  She needs to put those girls in shorts and let them roll in the mud, dig for buried treasure, and catch bugs.  Let kids be kids.  Loved the yard pics.  They're in shorts and pants now and probably don't give a hoot what anyone says.  Sam was there.  

Appears that Christopher is judging his baby sister’s choice of clothing. At least  the legs of the shorts almost cover the knees.  
 

Eastern Kansas is not flat-flat, but in no way do its little hills and valleys compare to the Appalachians.  Hope wherever Anna and Mary each settle, it’s with people who share mutual love and respect with them.  Any place is bearable if you have those things. 

Edited November 16, 2022 by MamaJunebug

[illegalpets]

30 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

So am I! Where they live is wooded, with hilly areas and farmland.

I gotcha…I am not terribly far away but it’s nowhere as lovely as WV landscape.   I would be sad.

[Teaistheway]

In my primary school in the '70s well behaved children were given the 'honour' of cleaning the teachers' staffroom after lunchbreak. The cigarette smoke was so thick it was hard to see and the ashtrays full to the brim; it's one of the reasons I've never smoked.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, Teaistheway said:

In my primary school in the '70s well behaved children were given the 'honour' of cleaning the teachers' staffroom after lunchbreak. The cigarette smoke was so thick it was hard to see and the ashtrays full to the brim; it's one of the reasons I've never smoked.

I remember smelling smoke when walking by the teacher break room in the 80s. By the 90s, teachers couldn’t smoke in break rooms anymore. 

[Caroline]

27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I remember smelling smoke when walking by the teacher break room in the 80s. By the 90s, teachers couldn’t smoke in break rooms anymore. 

When I started teaching in the 80's the STUDENTS had a designated smoking area outside - right underneath my classroom!  Yuck!