Maxwell 55: Anna and Mary Adventures at ABC - Freedom!

[JermajestyDuggar]

This was on the ABC sports page. It looks like it’s common to get married over the summer even if you haven’t graduated yet. Samuel is graduating this May. I’m thinking maybe he will propose in the spring and then they can get married next summer before Mary’s senior year. 

[Lady Grass Lake]

On 9/18/2022 at 6:51 PM, HeartsAFundie said:

When I was in Hawaii in 2016 on business/vacation, I went on a bus tour to Pearl Harbor.  On the way home, someone actually asked if they could smoke on the bus, which I and my husband found very amusing.  Of course, the driver denied the request.  When we returned home and I was back to work, I relayed this story to a co-worker, who was born in 1991 and was absolutely shocked and horrified that someone would even have the audacity to ask.  He honestly couldn't fathom anyone ever doing that because in his lifetime, it just wouldn't happen.

In 2002, we took our son, then 6 years old, to a dude ranch in upstate New York.  We were in the ranch's video arcade.  My son points to the back wall and says "Mommy, look at this funny video game machine over here!  What does it do? How do you play it?"  It was a cigarette machine.  He had no idea what it was for.  But I certainly knew what it was and what it was for when I was my son's age in 1971.

 

I remember at age 8 or  9 being given a quarter and sent to the neighborhood store to get Mom a pack of cigarettes.  My parents between the two of them, smoked 5 packs of cigarettes a day.  I can remember being in a car in the middle of winter, trapped as they both chain smoked, while my siblings and I begged to be able to open the windows just a crack for fresh air, and being told NO.  I would get bronchitus several times a winter.  I did not and do not smoke to this day.   My father died of lung cancer.   I can remember sitting in his hospital room with my 5 siblings and hearing the prognosis of lung cancer and that the type of cancer was the type that multiplies quickly.  The Dr. then asked us, who smoked......4 hands raised,  but no me or my brother.  The Dr. then looked at my 4 sisters and said "This is you in the future, STOP SMOKING NOW."   They were highly offended.  

[IsmeWeatherwax]

I stopped smoking in Feb 2017, purely because of finances. I finally stopped vaping in June 2020. The freedom you have not craving nicotine is absolutely the best!

[Jana814]

I’ve mentioned this before. I never smoked a day in my life. I know several people who smoked in high school all but 2 have stopped. 

[quiversR4hunting]

23 hours ago, Howl said:

Relatively recently (past 10 years?)  my city banned smoking in public indoor venues.  There was a LOT of screaming and pearl clutching from bars and especially bars that were also music venues, because who would go to a bar if you couldn't smoke?  It all worked out somehow and nobody went out of business. 

Most restaurants with patios have an outdoor smoking section. 

The Big State University I worked for before retiring banned smoking on campus and smokers were penalized on health insurance.  There were a few die-hard smoking employees who had "secret" spots to light up outside. 

 

In my state the patio isn't supposed to have smoking if there is food being served. So the people have to go out of the patio section (usually parking lot) and smoke. Some old bars still skirt the issue on this but most comply. My state banned indoor restaurant smoking in 2010. I waited tables in the 90s and the diner had 2 sections, smoking and second hand and if too many smokers were in there the air would turn blue (smokeater couldn't keep up). My entire family doesn't smoke so it was tough coming home reeking of it after shift. in college I worked at a Radisson and even though smoking was allowed most didn't 

I was in Russia in 1992 and I remember a little kid (age 10 or younger) ask me for a cig. I was so sad he had started smoking so young.  

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This was on the ABC sports page. It looks like it’s common to get married over the summer even if you haven’t graduated yet. Samuel is graduating this May. I’m thinking maybe he will propose in the spring and then they can get married next summer before Mary’s senior year. 

I'm impressed they are still going to school, even though it is this school. By their wording "volley of weddings" made me think all these ladies were on the volleyball team and was very impressed they were still playing but that probably wasn't what they meant and just used the word volley for fun. 

And look at all the bare shoulders and decollete being shown in all the wedding gowns! I am so glad the Maxwell ladies can attend here even if it is still fundie, they are at least seeing different types of fundie. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

In my state the patio isn't supposed to have smoking if there is food being served. So the people have to go out of the patio section (usually parking lot) and smoke. Some old bars still skirt the issue on this but most comply. My state banned indoor restaurant smoking in 2010. I waited tables in the 90s and the diner had 2 sections, smoking and second hand and if too many smokers were in there the air would turn blue (smokeater couldn't keep up). My entire family doesn't smoke so it was tough coming home reeking of it after shift. in college I worked at a Radisson and even though smoking was allowed most didn't 

I was in Russia in 1992 and I remember a little kid (age 10 or younger) ask me for a cig. I was so sad he had started smoking so young.  

I'm impressed they are still going to school, even though it is this school. By their wording "volley of weddings" made me think all these ladies were on the volleyball team and was very impressed they were still playing but that probably wasn't what they meant and just used the word volley for fun. 

And look at all the bare shoulders and decollete being shown in all the wedding gowns! I am so glad the Maxwell ladies can attend here even if it is still fundie, they are at least seeing different types of fundie. 

Yes, they are on the women’s volleyball team for ABC. They play Crown College (the Bates approved fundie college) and there is quite the contrast of uniforms! The Crown volleyball shorts are very baggy and almost go to their knees like culottes. I wonder if Crown will ever relax their ridiculous dress code. 

[Johannah]

I’m assuming they’re a little more lax about the interracial dating rules than Crown?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Johannah said:

I’m assuming they’re a little more lax about the interracial dating rules than Crown?

I think most colleges have changed their stance on interracial dating because even the most racist fundies wouldn’t actually be open about their being against interracial marriage. I’m guessing there are tons of very racist fundies who would shit if their child dated someone from another race. But they wouldn’t post about it on Facebook like they post about their anti-gay marriage beliefs. Because they would get an insane amount of pushback. And they know it.

[Nothing if not critical]

18 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, they are on the women’s volleyball team for ABC. They play Crown College (the Bates approved fundie college) and there is quite the contrast of uniforms! The Crown volleyball shorts are very baggy and almost go to their knees like culottes. I wonder if Crown will ever relax their ridiculous dress code. 

Are there any pictures available online? Would love to see this.

[duggerme]

59 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

 I'm impressed they are still going to school, even though it is this school. By their wording "volley of weddings" made me think all these ladies were on the volleyball team and was very impressed they were still playing but that probably wasn't what they meant and just used the word volley for fun. 

 

I took it the same way, and one is noted as the Captain.  I also noticed that NONE of the wedding dresses were remotely fundie modest, and there appears to be at least one of the grooms who is non-white.  For some reason That just makes me really happy.  My sphere of influence doesn’t include teens looking for college right now, but if it did, and they were set on attending a Christian school, I would probably suggest they check out ABC. 
 

just saw others comments- nothing new here…

Edited September 26, 2022 by duggerme
Others posted the same thing while I was typing

[Johannah]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think most colleges have changed their stance on interracial dating because even the most racist fundies wouldn’t actually be open about their being against interracial marriage. I’m guessing there are tons of very racist fundies who would shit if their child dated someone from another race. But they wouldn’t post about it on Facebook like they post about their anti-gay marriage beliefs. Because they would get an insane amount of pushback. And they know it.

I just looked at the Crown handbook for a refresher and found this gem of a policy on student pregnancy. I guess Crown students are never rape victims. And if they are, they’re shit out of luck. 
 

“Pregnancy Policy

Scripture urges believers to seek wise and godly counsel when faced with significant or difficult life choices. Therefore, should a Crown College student become pregnant while unmarried, she is encouraged to communicate with Residence Life staff, Counseling Services, or Health Services. The College wants to assist those involved in an unplanned pregnancy while at Crown to consider the options available to them within the Christian moral framework. These include marriage of the parents, single parenthood, or offering the child for adoption.

Student Development personnel stand ready to help those involved as they consider the meaning of their actions, deal with the consequences, and experience the forgiveness that comes from repentance. The College is committed to responding in a redemptive manner, seeking to balance compassion with accountability. Students can be expected to be treated with Christian love as they deal with their new circumstances.

Every effort will be made to ensure confidentiality, but the life and health of the mother and child and the spiritual well-being of the parents and the Crown College community are our primary concerns. Continuity of on-campus residency and/or enrollment as a student at Crown College will be considered in light of what is best for all those involved.”

[JermajestyDuggar]

If you have ever watched college or high school volleyball games, you know the uniforms have short shorts. It’s the norm. The women’s volleyball team at ABC have mid thigh shorts. So they are still longer than the usual short shorts but they are much shorter than the other schools they play. It is obvious the volleyball players at Crown wear basketball shorts. It doesn’t even look like they are trying to wear anything close to volleyball shorts. 

And here is ABC:

[Johannah]

From the ABC handbook on marriage…

”Marriages
In order to allow time for proper adjustments, students are not permitted to return to classes for two months after their wedding. Please schedule summer weddings to allow for this time.
Any student who marries during the school year must withdraw from classes for the rest of that semester.”

WTF???

[Coconut Flan]

ABC is wearing shorts exactly like my daughter's high school volleyball shorts.  Many high schools still use those.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

ABC is wearing shorts exactly like my daughter's high school volleyball shorts.  Many high schools still use those.  

That’s good. I always thought the really short ones must ride up way too much. The length ABC uses seems most practical to me. 

[Nothing if not critical]

24 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s good. I always thought the really short ones must ride up way too much. The length ABC uses seems most practical to me. 

Yeah, I was thinking those seem plenty short enough to me - and I'm definitely not fundie!

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Yeah, I was thinking those seem plenty short enough to me - and I'm definitely not fundie!

Me neither. My shorts are mid thigh and that’s what’s comfortable to me. The short shorts aren’t comfortable because I think they ride up. And I’m always messing with them. 

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

ABC is wearing shorts exactly like my daughter's high school volleyball shorts.  Many high schools still use those.  

That is great to hear! My daughter's school has the shorty short ones. A couple of them end up being like spanks (anyone remember cheerleading spanks?). 

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s good. I always thought the really short ones must ride up way too much. The length ABC uses seems most practical to me. 

Same! I run and I don't like the ride up. I have a pair of bike type shorts the length of ABC and that allows for a side pocket for my phone and key and all no thigh rub (and I am not big, I'm a size 6 or 8). 

I would love it if our district had those like the ones at ABC. It has nothing to do with modesty, it has to do with the picking the shorts out of their cracks all the time. The girls adjust their shorts ALL.THE.TIME. And it doesn't matter if the girl is big, small, short or tall or any combo. I think the slightly longer ones would be less adjustment.

As for the Crown shorts, no way. They could trip on the shorts (with their knee) when landing in a dive ball situation. Even men's VB teams don't wear shorts that long!

This is UCLA & Stanford

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, Johannah said:

Every effort will be made to ensure confidentiality, but the life and health of the mother and child and the spiritual well-being of the parents and the Crown College community are our primary concerns. Continuity of on-campus residency and/or enrollment as a student at Crown College will be considered in light of what is best for all those involved.”

Wow. I read that to mean: "We will absolutely be calling your parents and your pastor back home the very moment we find out you might be pregnant and if we think for even one second you might consider abortion we might plaster anti-abortion posters outside your dorm room door so all your neighbors will know to harass you about it. Also you had better look for accommodations now and don't bother registering for next semester because the minute you start showing you are OUT. It'd look bad, you know, to have an unwed pregnant student on campus." 

 

1 hour ago, Johannah said:

From the ABC handbook on marriage…

”Marriages
In order to allow time for proper adjustments, students are not permitted to return to classes for two months after their wedding. Please schedule summer weddings to allow for this time.
Any student who marries during the school year must withdraw from classes for the rest of that semester.”

WTF???

They probably figure the happy couple will be so busy banging all the time they won't be able to focus on school. And then of course after 2 months the wife might be pregnant and decide not to return to classes anyway since she'd successfully gotten her MRS degree and had a baby on the way already. It does seem that at ABC at least some of them do choose to return to finish school, which is encouraging. Either they really enjoy being on the volleyball team or they find some value in the education there to be willing to come back and finish up! 

I went to an all-women's college that had originally been associated with the SBC. They were barely tangential, fully liberal, and cut ties with the SBC while I was there (and seem to have never been an ABC or Crown style college - always offering a rigorous education), but there was still a lingering expectation among certain students that you were to graduate with the class ring on your right ring finger and a diamond on the left ring finger. Apparently until the 70's or so it was very common for graduation weekend to be followed by weddings the following weekend, and back when all the students ordered their Class Day dress in the same style and color from the same department store, those dresses were often used as bridesmaid dresses. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

That is great to hear! My daughter's school has the shorty short ones. A couple of them end up being like spanks (anyone remember cheerleading spanks?). 

Same! I run and I don't like the ride up. I have a pair of bike type shorts the length of ABC and that allows for a side pocket for my phone and key and all no thigh rub (and I am not big, I'm a size 6 or 8). 

I would love it if our district had those like the ones at ABC. It has nothing to do with modesty, it has to do with the picking the shorts out of their cracks all the time. The girls adjust their shorts ALL.THE.TIME. And it doesn't matter if the girl is big, small, short or tall or any combo. I think the slightly longer ones would be less adjustment.

As for the Crown shorts, no way. They could trip on the shorts (with their knee) when landing in a dive ball situation. Even men's VB teams don't wear shorts that long!

This is UCLA & Stanford

I agree. Adjusting shorts is a distraction. And no one wants any sort of distraction when playing sports. It would be like me wearing my hair down while playing softball. I would constantly be brushing it out of my face. That’s a distraction. 

Edited September 26, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[hoipolloi]

3 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Wow. I read that to mean: "We will absolutely be calling your parents and your pastor back home the very moment we find out you might be pregnant and if we think for even one second you might consider abortion we might plaster anti-abortion posters outside your dorm room door so all your neighbors will know to harass you about it. Also you had better look for accommodations now and don't bother registering for next semester because the minute you start showing you are OUT. It'd look bad, you know, to have an unwed pregnant student on campus." 

Totally agree. Mean while the penis-holder who was presumably involved and 50% responsible is not mentioned. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

BEC here, but I wonder how many Crown College women get abortions on the very very very QT. Somewhere where no one will find out. 

It can be done, I knew several in college who had abortions and no one ever found out.  I was the non-fundie, no judgement friend/ acquaintance who helped make the appointments/ travel arrangements

To this day I think I'm the only person who knew they were pregnant, much less had an abortion. Not even the involved penis holder knew.   

I went to a state university, but in the south, with more than our fair share of good sweet fundie Christian girls. All of whom were virgins saving themselves for marriage.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

BEC here, but I wonder how many Crown College women get abortions on the very very very QT. Somewhere where no one will find out. 

It can be done, I knew several in college who had abortions and no one ever found out.  I was the non-fundie, no judgement friend/ acquaintance who helped make the appointments/ travel arrangements

To this day I think I'm the only person who knew they were pregnant, much less had an abortion. Not even the involved penis holder knew.   

I went to a state university, but in the south, with more than our fair share of good sweet fundie Christian girls. All of whom were virgins saving themselves for marriage.  

I think plenty. And there are multiple reasons why. 

1) when you are raised fundie, you aren’t given comprehensive sex Ed, you are told hormonal birth control causes abortions, and you are told to no sexual until marriage and that’s it. So if you do have sex, you are likely not protected. Because you weren’t taught about condoms or birth control. Which means you’re more likely to get pregnant. 

2) unwed pregnancies are punished more harshly in fundie colleges and groups. Which is obvious when looking at fundie college rules. These females have more of an incentive to hide it and terminate the pregnancy. They know the school, their friends, and even family won’t be supportive. They will get shamed if even worse. So getting a secret abortion would benefit them in many ways. 
 

Fundies put women in a huge bind by doing these two things in particular. If you want to set a young woman up to have an unplanned pregnancy and abortion, do the things fundies do. 

[Maggie Mae]

8 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

In my state the patio isn't supposed to have smoking if there is food being served.

I don't know if that's a rule here, but I know that smokers have to stay at least 25 ft from all entrances, windows, and air intakes. 50 for hospitals. I know that there is one bar that has a "smoking area" which is an enclosed room with no roof, and I think it might be 5 ft from entrance to bars but I don't really know. I've never seen a restaurant that allows smoking on the patio, and I'd be really annoyed if someone started smoking while I was trying to enjoy a nice meal in the sun. 

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

8 hours ago, Johannah said:

“Pregnancy Policy

Scripture urges believers to seek wise and godly counsel when faced with significant or difficult life choices. Therefore, should a Crown College student become pregnant while unmarried, she is encouraged to communicate with Residence Life staff, Counseling Services, or Health Services. The College wants to assist those involved in an unplanned pregnancy while at Crown to consider the options available to them within the Christian moral framework. These include marriage of the parents, single parenthood, or offering the child for adoption.

I am actually shocked they would list single parenthood as acceptable.