Maxwell 55: Anna and Mary Adventures at ABC - Freedom!

[Mrs Ms]

I was a smoker. My much younger sister got bad croup which we realised was particularly triggered when we went to stay at her grandparents house where granddad smoked heavily. So I just always smoked outside and only took advantage of indoor smoking if everyone else was already (pubs, discos and similar)

In my late teens I worked as a caregiver. One coworker who was maybe five years older than me and treated me like dirt because of it and I were the only ones in the household of 15 who smoked. When we went to restaurants, she was gobsmacked that I didn’t just light up at the table with 13 nonsmokers and that even in winter I went outside. We were caring for people with fragile health and it had NEVER occurred to her! At least once she actually tried to shame me for it 😂 I’m so glad she was my direct supervisor only once a week.

When New Zealand banned indoor smoking a few years after I moved back I was so excited! And happily smoked outside for another 5 years.

[Cults-r-us]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I remember the cig machines! I was born in 1982. They were in a lot of restaurants and bowling alleys when I was a kid. Since my parents smoked, I always asked if they would get a pack from the machine so I could pull the lever. They always said no. Buying a carton was cheaper they would say. 

This is irrelevant but perhaps amusing. You perhaps recall my regaling tales on attending a conservative Nazarene college in the '80's? I remember my professor in maybe Christian Ethics (you had to take 15 credit hours of religion classes) asking: When have you sinned? When you thought of smoking? When you put your money in the cigarette machine? When you retrieved the pack or when you lit up? Sadly I don't remember the answer? Or the answer is not A, B, C, D but E. Who cares?

[Black Aliss]

On 9/16/2022 at 4:32 PM, treemom said:

is this Mary’s man? https://abc.edu/news-and-events/doulos/issues/2017/3/3.html

No. Mary's man is named Sam. I think this is his younger brother.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think David might be older than Sam. I think he’s already graduated from ABC, married in 2021, and is living in Uraguay. 

[AverageGiraffe]

13 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

I was a smoker. My much younger sister got bad croup which we realised was particularly triggered when we went to stay at her grandparents house where granddad smoked heavily. So I just always smoked outside and only took advantage of indoor smoking if everyone else was already (pubs, discos and similar)

In my late teens I worked as a caregiver. One coworker who was maybe five years older than me and treated me like dirt because of it and I were the only ones in the household of 15 who smoked. When we went to restaurants, she was gobsmacked that I didn’t just light up at the table with 13 nonsmokers and that even in winter I went outside. We were caring for people with fragile health and it had NEVER occurred to her! At least once she actually tried to shame me for it 😂 I’m so glad she was my direct supervisor only once a week.

When New Zealand banned indoor smoking a few years after I moved back I was so excited! And happily smoked outside for another 5 years.

I'm a smoker and was born in the late 80's. My parents didn't smoke and my state banned indoor smoking before I graduated high school (and I didn't start smoking until my early 20s). The idea of smoking inside or around non smokers is unfathomable to me. We went to a neighboring state a few years ago and you can still smoke indoors there. The bar smelled TERRIBLE, and I think he and I only smoked maybe one the entire evening because it just felt too weird to be lighting up on a barstool. I do smoke in my own car, but won't light up in anyone else's car (even other smokers, unless they do it first). If I'm out with non smokers I step several feet away, even when they say they don't care. It gets damn cold here in the winter and I take my ass outside still. 

I'm addicted, not oblivious-- I know it's gross and unhealthy and a terrible habit. I can't imagine subjecting people making better choices to my vice in an enclosed setting. The only time I don't have a lot of sympathy is when non-smokers come sit in the outdoor smoking section at my local watering hole, and complain about the smoke. Sorry my dude but this is where I'm SUPPOSED to be doing this, and if you don't like the smell of smoke you shouldn't sit down next to me and my lit cigarette. 

[Hane]

@AverageGiraffe, in high school in the late ‘60s, I attended a (totally non-religious) smoking prevention seminar presented by a Seventh Day Adventist group. It was impressive because it stuck to science, not scare tactics, and explained the metabolic functions that make it so hard to quit smoking.

My mom loved her cigarettes, until she had her first major heart attack at 52. I told her, “If *you* can quit smoking, anyone can!” So she said, “You forget I had to quit cold turkey while being pumped full of Valium in the CCU!”

[FiveAcres]

41 minutes ago, Hane said:

@AverageGiraffe, in high school in the late ‘60s, I attended a (totally non-religious) smoking prevention seminar presented by a Seventh Day Adventist group. It was impressive because it stuck to science, not scare tactics, and explained the metabolic functions that make it so hard to quit smoking.

My mom loved her cigarettes, until she had her first major heart attack at 52. I told her, “If *you* can quit smoking, anyone can!” So she said, “You forget I had to quit cold turkey while being pumped full of Valium in the CCU!”

But, still, she apparently stuck with it afterwards (as did my grandmother after she did cold turkey while hospitalized.) Some people don't seem to be able to keep off of it even after they should, in theory, be past the worse of the physical withdrawal. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My parents still smoke. Even after open heart surgery and many other smoking related problems. I understand it’s an addiction. I don’t shame people for their addictions. If they seek my help, I will be as supportive as I can. But everyone is different. Quitting looks different for everyone. Everyone’s biology is different. Everyone’s support system is different. Everyone’s stressors are different. 

[AverageGiraffe]

19 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My parents still smoke. Even after open heart surgery and many other smoking related problems. I understand it’s an addiction. I don’t shame people for their addictions. If they seek my help, I will be as supportive as I can. But everyone is different. Quitting looks different for everyone. Everyone’s biology is different. Everyone’s support system is different. Everyone’s stressors are different. 

Quitting is incredibly hard. I have friends who have quit the hard, life-ruining drugs but can't kick nicotine. I'd love to quit, and I think I'm getting close to being ready to do it, but it's just not as simple as "not doing it". I'll never give anyone grief for how much they smoke or how long they're a smoker. I just figure if I'm going to have a bad vice, I'll keep it away from those who don't do it as much as possible.

[Alisamer]

On 9/16/2022 at 9:20 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

The great thing about doors is that they are very easy to change if you hate the color. You could go with eggplant, and if you hate it, you can paint it again. And if you don’t like that, you can paint it again! You only need a sample sized paint or just a pint. Those are much cheaper than a gallon. And it’s pretty quick to paint a door. 
 

Other colors that might go well with gray and brick: navy, very light sage green, or maybe a light butter yellow.

I'm debating what color my front door will end up. I like the idea of red because of the folklore - protection from evil, a sign of welcome, etc. But I might pick something else. The house is an orangey red brick. Black would be classic. Fuschia would be kind of awesome. IDK. 

I do know if I have to paint the ceiling of the porch (and garage) I'm going with haint blue - it's a Southern low-country tradition adopted from the Gullah culture, which is not mine, but I think it's generalized enough now to be appreciation rather than appropriation. It's a pale aqua leaning blue that's meant to repel bad spirits and ghosts. But it's also said that because it looks like the sky it can help keep wasps and bugs away from the people on the porch. And it's pretty. I could do the door that color as well, I guess. 

On 9/17/2022 at 12:47 PM, Black Aliss said:

I am so excited/happy for you and your new home!

Thank you! It looks like we might maybe have the closing as early as next Monday! I'm super excited. It's going to be a TON of work, but it'll be awesome, I think. I'm trying very hard not to get anything big for the house until we actually own it and get most of my furniture in, but I do know I'm going to need a table because I've decided the den is actually going to be the dining room. I don't need a den AND a living room. So the smaller den, which has a peninsula separating it from the kitchen (and has the fireplace) will be the dining room and my little bistro table will not be sufficient. I can't wait to get IN the house and figure out the layout for the living room. It's big, as big as the den and kitchen combined, so I'm thinking it can have more than just one big seating area - I just have to make sure I leave room for the Christmas tree in front of the window. 

I started a thread over in the various Quivers area so I don't keep going on and on in other threads so much. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'm debating what color my front door will end up. I like the idea of red because of the folklore - protection from evil, a sign of welcome, etc. But I might pick something else. The house is an orangey red brick. Black would be classic. Fuschia would be kind of awesome. IDK. 

I do know if I have to paint the ceiling of the porch (and garage) I'm going with haint blue - it's a Southern low-country tradition adopted from the Gullah culture, which is not mine, but I think it's generalized enough now to be appreciation rather than appropriation. It's a pale aqua leaning blue that's meant to repel bad spirits and ghosts. But it's also said that because it looks like the sky it can help keep wasps and bugs away from the people on the porch. And it's pretty. I could do the door that color as well, I guess. 

Thank you! It looks like we might maybe have the closing as early as next Monday! I'm super excited. It's going to be a TON of work, but it'll be awesome, I think. I'm trying very hard not to get anything big for the house until we actually own it and get most of my furniture in, but I do know I'm going to need a table because I've decided the den is actually going to be the dining room. I don't need a den AND a living room. So the smaller den, which has a peninsula separating it from the kitchen (and has the fireplace) will be the dining room and my little bistro table will not be sufficient. I can't wait to get IN the house and figure out the layout for the living room. It's big, as big as the den and kitchen combined, so I'm thinking it can have more than just one big seating area - I just have to make sure I leave room for the Christmas tree in front of the window. 

I started a thread over in the various Quivers area so I don't keep going on and on in other threads so much. 

 

I love green doors. Mine is green. Look into some shades of green. There are so many that look good with red brick. Olive, sage, emerald, and Hunter greens would all be great choices imo. 

[Alisamer]

21 minutes ago, AverageGiraffe said:

Quitting is incredibly hard. I have friends who have quit the hard, life-ruining drugs but can't kick nicotine. I'd love to quit, and I think I'm getting close to being ready to do it, but it's just not as simple as "not doing it". I'll never give anyone grief for how much they smoke or how long they're a smoker. I just figure if I'm going to have a bad vice, I'll keep it away from those who don't do it as much as possible.

One of my co-workers took some medicine - Chantix? maybe? She was very successful on it, and was a non-smoker for a couple years. But then her husband had a major motorcycle accident. She didn't start smoking again during the several weeks he was in the hospital, but after he was home and the behavioral results of his TBI started to rear up she eventually started smoking again. It's a tough addiction.

I can't be around smoke, I discovered. It used to not bother me much but I roomed with a smoker one year in college (by choice, she had the bed by the window and I had an air purifier pointed at the head of my bed) and I stayed so sick the whole year. It just knocks my immune system right down. I am very appreciative of smokers who are courteous about it, I know it's an addiction and a difficult one.

[Black Aliss]

6 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'm debating what color my front door will end up. I like the idea of red because of the folklore - protection from evil, a sign of welcome, etc. But I might pick something else. The house is an orangey red brick. Black would be classic. Fuschia would be kind of awesome. IDK. 

This made me giggle because I thought of this (with apologies to diehard Bob Ross and Rolling Stones fans): 

Spoiler

 

[AverageGiraffe]

1 minute ago, Alisamer said:

One of my co-workers took some medicine - Chantix? maybe? She was very successful on it, and was a non-smoker for a couple years. But then her husband had a major motorcycle accident. She didn't start smoking again during the several weeks he was in the hospital, but after he was home and the behavioral results of his TBI started to rear up she eventually started smoking again. It's a tough addiction.

I can't be around smoke, I discovered. It used to not bother me much but I roomed with a smoker one year in college (by choice, she had the bed by the window and I had an air purifier pointed at the head of my bed) and I stayed so sick the whole year. It just knocks my immune system right down. I am very appreciative of smokers who are courteous about it, I know it's an addiction and a difficult one.

I know a lot of people who have had success on Chantix. It's something I've considered. My husband has quit smoking cigarettes by vaping, which is better but doesn't solve the addiction issue. From experience, I know cold turkey is all that's going to really work for me and I'm just not quite ready for it yet

 

[nelliebelle1197]

On 9/12/2022 at 4:01 PM, Alisamer said:

NGL I am totally painting the kitchen cabinets in the 70's ranch I'm moving into. They're gross. And brown. And cheap looking. Thankfully the dark paneling was already painted by the previous owners. I'm thinking possibly white upper cabinets and black lower ones, but haven't decided yet - I might choose a color for the upper ones instead. There are few things I despise less than golden oak. If I kept them brown I'd have to seriously steampunk the crap out of them to not cringe. But that's totally me. Looking through the pics of that house made me cringe badly with all the country-style stuff in there. Totally not my style in the slightest. 

The cabinets in this house look better than the ones in mine, so maybe they'll keep them. But I hope Sarah gets to decide for herself what she wants to do or not do to them. I do like the bamboo flooring. We're doing laminate in mine - I'm campaigning for a dark vintage looking wood. Sisters are pushing for gray, but I think gray laminate is going to look dated like shag carpet in 10 years or so. 

Yeah but you are so beautifully artsy anything you do will be fabulous!

[hoipolloi]

When it comes to smoking, times are better. I remember flying in the days when the "smoking" and "non-smoking" sections of the airplane were separated by a sign on top of a seat. If more seats were needed in the "smoking" section, the FA just moved the sign a row or two ahead! UGH. I was so glad when smoking was banned on commercial aircraft. 

 

 

[Jana814]

I never smoked but I also remember smoking & non-smoker sections in restaurants & planes. 

[Caroline]

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

When it comes to smoking, times are better. I remember flying in the days when the "smoking" and "non-smoking" sections of the airplane were separated by a sign on top of a seat. If more seats were needed in the "smoking" section, the FA just moved the sign a row or two ahead! UGH. I was so glad when smoking was banned on commercial aircraft. 

 

 

I remember those days too.  My first long flight was to France when I was 20.  I was going there to spend a year living with a French family and attending a university.  I had a lot of language skill and had read a lot about the region I was going to, but of course I couldn't imagine what life would really be like.  (This was also pre every modern tech we have today- computers, cell phones, etc.) When I arrived I remember being assaulted by cigarette smoke everywhere.  I didn't grow up with smokers, so it was even more shocking.  I got used to it everywhere, but really hated that part of the experience.  The first time I went to Spain about ten years later than that experience I remember thinking that cigarette smoking was really ramped up there.  I used to say that French people smoked excessively, but Spanish people seemed to actually eat cigarettes.  So many years later I have no French or Spanish friends who smoke.  I'm glad the world has changed for the better in that regard. 

[Hane]

2 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I never smoked but I also remember smoking & non-smoker sections in restaurants & planes. 

Yes, because molecules magically know that they’re supposed to stay on the right side of the “no smoking” sign.

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, Hane said:

Yes, because molecules magically know that they’re supposed to stay on the right side of the “no smoking” sign.

Even as a kid I thought smoking and non smoking sections were weird. You could always smell the smoke in the non smoking section. I remember there was a smoking room in a bowling alley in the 90s. The door shut so I guess it made a lot more sense than a smoking section. 

[SassyPants]

Hilarious- The hot topic on a Maxwell thread is cigarette smoking. Wonder if Steve still checks in here?

[GreenBeans]

On 9/15/2022 at 1:44 AM, Caroline said:

 I like the idea of separating spaces in a home with stairs, but the older I get the more I'm starting to think about possible mobility problems in the future.

I grew up in a house with three floors - kitchen/living room, then parents’ bedroom and office, and me and my brother’s rooms on the third floor. So having a “family home” in my mind always used to be linked to this idea of having a “real house” with areas separated by stairs. But unlike my parents, me and my husband settled in a big city (and did non want to move into a suburb), so having a “real house” was out of the question financially (and for lack of availability), housing prices are crazy here.

We did look at apartments with two floors connected by stairs, and while I did like that “house feeling”, it’s just not as practical, even while you’re still younger. We ended up with an apartment with all rooms on the same level, and are loving it! We don’t have to baby proof stairs, we don’t have to haul laundry up and down the stairs, it’s much less of a hassle to clean, and yes, when we get older it will be a lot more convenient than a 2- or 3-storey home.
 

We might still buy something else later on,though this isn’t as common here as in the US - for most people buying a home is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and “starter homes” aren’t heard of.

[hoipolloi]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The hot topic on a Maxwell thread is cigarette smoking. Wonder if Steve still checks in here?

Bet he does and I'll bet he's happy to see any thread drift away from him.

[GreenBeans]

18 hours ago, Caroline said:

So many years later I have no French or Spanish friends who smoke.  I'm glad the world has changed for the better in that regard. 

It’s so different nowadays! There used to be situations where I felt like the odd one out, being the only person politely  declining an offered cigarette in a group setting, and kind of feeling like I needed to explain myself. Now the people who smoke are the odd ones out (at least in my circles, both private and work-related).

Also, it’s so nice not having to wash your  hair after a night out before going to bed!

[caitrona]

On 9/19/2022 at 11:03 AM, AverageGiraffe said:

Quitting is incredibly hard. I have friends who have quit the hard, life-ruining drugs but can't kick nicotine. I'd love to quit, and I think I'm getting close to being ready to do it, but it's just not as simple as "not doing it". I'll never give anyone grief for how much they smoke or how long they're a smoker. I just figure if I'm going to have a bad vice, I'll keep it away from those who don't do it as much as possible.

Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done.  It's been nearly 20 years since I quit, and there are still days I'd commit several crimes to have one.  The only thing that's come close to that level of difficulty was quitting my 2 a day Diet Coke habit, but now I can't drink it at all so I don't still have a craving.