M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Remember when Zoo actually let all her parishioners know they shouldn’t expect her to text back. But she loves gift cards. I’m sorry zoo but if you have time to blog for 15 years, you can text your parishioners back every once in awhile. It isn’t like they have a mega church. I think their highest numbers were over 300. And that was counting a ton of kids. She’s not Joel Osteen for fucks sake. And Braggie isn’t CS Lewis. 

Edited August 17, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[noseybutt]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

In today's episode of "My Ego is bigger than my house", Braggie made the following comparison:

She complained about people sending her DMs and saying "I know it's not Wednesday, but..." and asking her for specific direction on an issue she didn't touch on in her book.  

Then she said, and I quote: "Can you imagine messaging Elisabeth Elliot or C.S. Lewis and being like, can you please give me a personalized detailed life plan?"

Yes.  She compared herself to C.S. Lewis.  I think Elisabeth Elliot was awful, so I'm not touching that one. 

I'm off to search for prior Elisabeth Elliot conversations. Because same. So revered yet disturbing.

[danvillebelle]

You can turn off message requests on IG.  She undoubtedly knows that.  But she *can't* turn it off, because then she couldn't read messages from people telling her how wonderful she is. 

I graded freshman essay papers for my English prof. mentor in college (I was his work study student).  I used to get papers from people like Braggie; they ramble on and on with flowery word vomit and think that makes them great writers.  They were always shocked when they got a paper returned to them full of red lines and editing marks. And it's Braggie's EDITED book that people are reading and saying reads like a condescending IG post.  Can you imagine how bad the drafts she turns in are? Ugh.

Edited August 18, 2022 by danvillebelle

[mhainlen]

I would imagine this would be very off- putting to her readers.  I hope that the women who sent her questions read this post and decide to get their Christian mom advice somewhere more welcoming.  

[neuroticcat]

Yes I about spit out my coffee at the Lewis comparison. Both the idea that she thought it normal to compare herself without disclaimer to two wordlwide bestselling authors...and that her personalized advice is in such demand. Incidentally, Lewis was renowned for being a faithful and humble correspondent. He spent several hours each day in his latter years writing letters and the book "Letters to Children" - which compiles some of his responses to kids who read his books and wrote him - is one of my favorites. 

And whether that was a genuine question or a fake-influencer question, to basically be like: if you can afford my book, you should buy it rather than use the library is very cringe for an author. I'm sure it's happened, but I don't think I've ever seen an author publicly state that. Most are usually saying: thank you for reading.

You want people to buy your future books? Write ones that will sell and be glad that the library is purchasing copies upon your readers' requests. 

Yes, absolutely her instagram following secured her book deal. I've heard it explained to me that in Christian publishing, there are three legs to the stool: growing social media following (at least 10K+), excellent writing, a unique/gripping concept. You maybe can get away with two out of three if it stands out. Her publisher knows that she will sell books, so as long as she has big followers who will buy it, she can kind of write whatever. I'm guessing the next one will be hardisnotthesamethingasbad self-martyrdom (saw Glennon Doyle's podcast on a feed today and wondered how Abbie feels about the "we can do hard things" tagline there) and a third perhaps full of marriage pearls of wisdom. Or a home design/fashion/exercise-diet book for her followers? 

[Mrs Ms]

I often get a book from the library first and if it is GOOD, I will buy it. I have just ordered books from 3 different YouTubers I like because I have somewhat niche interests and don’t want to spend $80+ on something sight unseen. 

[anachronistic]

It makes me sad and angry that she has followers who will buy her book and accept her abuse because that’s the culture they’ve grown up in and they don’t know how any better. They will also try and follow her advice and think that they’ll get a life like hers by doing it. They don’t know that the only reason her life is the way it is is not because of anything Braggie did but because she happens to be white and has family money and support. She and her family also happen to be healthy without any disabilities to speak of. Without these things she’d be struggling much more and wouldn’t have the time to devote to her blog and books. 
 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

It makes me sad and angry that she has followers who will buy her book and accept her abuse because that’s the culture they’ve grown up in and they don’t know how any better. They will also try and follow her advice and think that they’ll get a life like hers by doing it. They don’t know that the only reason her life is the way it is is not because of anything Braggie did but because she happens to be white and has family money and support. She and her family also happen to be healthy without any disabilities to speak of. Without these things she’d be struggling much more and wouldn’t have the time to devote to her blog and books. 
 

 

I feel like I compare fundamentalism to MLMs too much but here I am about to do it again! In MLMs, if you fail to make it big, it’s all your fault. You work your ass off trying to recruit people for plexus or young living but you got in 5 years too late. The market is saturated. There’s no way for you to make decent money. But the mlm blames the seller. They never take any responsibility for it not working it’s your fault just like in fundie mom blogger/books. If you don’t have a perfect life like Braggie, you’re doing it wrong. It’s not Braggie’s fault that you can’t be as amazing as her. 

[neuroticcat]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel like I compare fundamentalism to MLMs too much but here I am about to do it again! In MLMs, if you fail to make it big, it’s all your fault. You work your ass off trying to recruit people for plexus or young living but you got in 5 years too late. The market is saturated. There’s no way for you to make decent money. But the mlm blames the seller. They never take any responsibility for it not working it’s your fault just like in fundie mom blogger/books. If you don’t have a perfect life like Braggie, you’re doing it wrong. It’s not Braggie’s fault that you can’t be as amazing as her. 

This is a really good parallel. I think the constant access to those "doing it right" - first via the Duggar/Bates shows and now via socials - also lets followers who are struggling keep aspiring. Like: when I have built my own home, it will be dreamy. Or if I have 11 kids, then, I'll be doing it right. Or whatever element they are lacking. 

And while we all know reality tv and social media is curated, the truly zealous hold themselves to the high standards of the ideal. It's so sad. And gross that JB & Michelle originally (and many of the older kids now) and people like Abbie tell themselves it's some sort of divine mission of service for them to lay these heavy burdens on other people. 

[Wifey4Lifey]

16 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

And whether that was a genuine question or a fake-influencer question, to basically be like: if you can afford my book, you should buy it rather than use the library is very cringe for an author. I'm sure it's happened, but I don't think I've ever seen an author publicly state that. Most are usually saying: thank you for reading.

I have never in my life seen an author disparage library use before, so it's absolutely shocking to me that she would publicly say that. And makes it pretty clear to me that she's not a library user herself, which is a shame for all her homeschooled kids. Not very Christian of her to be so obviously money-hungry, while also ignoring the fact that libraries do in fact have to *purchase* the book, frequently multiple copies. I bet she feels the same way about used bookstores, despite claiming to be an avid clothing thrifter 🙄

[bea]

And then she gets mad when they message her! I’m not sure why that bugs me so much but MAN, you set yourself up as an aspirational Christian mega-mom with a perfect life and publish a book and then when people want to know why it’s not working for them….go away, peasant.
Ugh.

[danvillebelle]

She let one of the twins climb into the dryer and filmed it, giggling all the while.

She thinks it's funny when her kids do dangerous things.

What happens when the twins and Shiloh are unsupervised, which is apparently at least 50% of the time, go into the laundry room, and one climbs in and another one turns it on?  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 8/18/2022 at 8:53 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel like I compare fundamentalism to MLMs too much but here I am about to do it again! In MLMs, if you fail to make it big, it’s all your fault. You work your ass off trying to recruit people for plexus or young living but you got in 5 years too late. The market is saturated. There’s no way for you to make decent money. But the mlm blames the seller. They never take any responsibility for it not working it’s your fault just like in fundie mom blogger/books. If you don’t have a perfect life like Braggie, you’re doing it wrong. It’s not Braggie’s fault that you can’t be as amazing as her. 

You're not the only one who's made the comparison between fundamentalism and MLMs. If you google MLMs and results, you find quite a bit of articles and youtube videos comparing MLMs and cults. Part of it is that MLMs are often owned by religious people, e.g. Plexus. 

[neuroticcat]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

She let one of the twins climb into the dryer and filmed it, giggling all the while.

She thinks it's funny when her kids do dangerous things.

What happens when the twins and Shiloh are unsupervised, which is apparently at least 50% of the time, go into the laundry room, and one climbs in and another one turns it on?  

Or just closes the door? How long would it take the family to notice a little one was gone? The image of that is just freaking me out. I hope she gets pushback from followers so she realizes she needs to teach the toddlers to never climb in any appliance. Once I got frontloading machines, I kept my laundry room door locked for that reason with toddlers around, but I still taught them the rule just in case. So scary. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve always been annoyed that our washer and dryer are in the basement. But I guess it did keep them away from the kids as toddlers. They weren’t allowed in the basement unsupervised so I didn’t have an issue with them climbing on them.

[danvillebelle]

If someone did say something, she'd have a condescending reply like "well of COURSE we watch them and that's not going to happen yadda yadda yadda."  Like you were watching Shiloh when he pulled the baby's highchair over? 

[feministxtian]

I have a couple of friends who are authors. I'm FB friends with them and have met them in person also. One of them sent me a gorgeous card and an Amazon gift card for my surgery. That joker is GONE!!! Yes, I bought more of his books. These guys work their asses off as authors and they also have "regular" jobs. They're both humble, self-deprecating, funny as hell (as in they have big-time personalities) and I've happily paid full price for their books. 

Braggie doesn't have what it takes to be any sort of popular author. I also doubt she'll get rich doing it either, My friends are not getting rich off their books. One friend was thrilled his book sold 10K copies in 2 years. The other has sold I think maybe 15k books. Like, these guys are published but not best sellers. Braggie thinks she's the next Elisabeth Elliot. 

[luv2laugh]

Braggie thinks and believes she will be a NY Times best selling author & won’t rest until she is.

This is similar to how Michelle Duggar got famous, because people would ask her the same questions, & Michelle couldn’t get enough and JB saw dollars.

Edited August 20, 2022 by luv2laugh

[lexiloumarie]

On 8/18/2022 at 2:31 PM, Wifey4Lifey said:

I have never in my life seen an author disparage library use before, so it's absolutely shocking to me that she would publicly say that. And makes it pretty clear to me that she's not a library user herself, which is a shame for all her homeschooled kids. Not very Christian of her to be so obviously money-hungry, while also ignoring the fact that libraries do in fact have to *purchase* the book, frequently multiple copies. I bet she feels the same way about used bookstores, despite claiming to be an avid clothing thrifter 🙄

The Maxwell's did but they're you know....the Maxwell's. Of course they were a bit out there. 

[SassyPants]

Dang, today she posted (IG) a video of the babies with their blankets knocking into one another on the stairs. One fell on the midway landing. First the girl cooking while holding a baby with his blanket dangling next to the flame, the babies climbing on the bookcase and into the dryer, and now this. I’m beginning to wonder if she has some sort of organic brain deficit.

[0 kids n not countin]

37 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Dang, today she posted (IG) a video of the babies with their blankets knocking into one another on the stairs. One fell on the midway landing. First the girl cooking while holding a baby with his blanket dangling next to the flame, the babies climbing on the bookcase and into the dryer, and now this. I’m beginning to wonder if she has some sort of organic brain deficit.

I was just going to post the same, wtf is wrong with this women, who does ^*it like this?😑

[Hane]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Dang, today she posted (IG) a video of the babies with their blankets knocking into one another on the stairs. One fell on the midway landing. First the girl cooking while holding a baby with his blanket dangling next to the flame, the babies climbing on the bookcase and into the dryer, and now this. I’m beginning to wonder if she has some sort of organic brain deficit.

Content like this reminds me of the Mormon mommy blogger who, back in our Hulu days, actually posted about the time she loaded her many children into her minivan and drove off without bothering to check whether they were all belted in. After a few minutes the kids screamed at her to stop the van because her toddler was hanging out of the moving car, gripping the open door in mid-air and shrieking in terror.

Her fangirls responded by patting her hand and tutting, “Oh, hon, that could happen to *anybody*!” as if she’d done something innocuous like forgetting to bring her membership card to Costco.

Edited August 24, 2022 by Hane

[danvillebelle]

I'm starting to think it's another one of her twisted ways of trying to seem relatable.  "Oh look, my babies fell and hurt themselves, ha ha ha kids, it happens to everyone, what are you going to do?"  For starters, you could put the fucking phone down and watch your kids, twatwaffle.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

I'm starting to think it's another one of her twisted ways of trying to seem relatable.  "Oh look, my babies fell and hurt themselves, ha ha ha kids, it happens to everyone, what are you going to do?"  For starters, you could put the fucking phone down and watch your kids, twatwaffle.

Now I know why I don’t have a ton of videos from when my kids were toddlers even though I had a smart phone. I was too busy protecting them from getting hurt. Instead of filming them while they did dangerous shit. My kids never did the stuff her kids did while being videoed. Because I actually parented them. 

Edited August 24, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[SassyPants]

The needs of children change as they age/grow/mature. Infants have heavy physical needs and teens have greater emotional needs. Toddlers need to be constantly monitored and redirected for their basic safety. One size fits all does not work. I don’t understand how 16.5 years in ( direct AH quote) Abbie still doesn’t seem to grasp the basics. And it’s not the other kids’ responsibility to monitor the 3 youngest boys. It’s AH’s job (Bible). Shaun’s too when he’s not earning money-

NO ONE SHOULD TAKE PARENTING ADVICE FROM HER!