Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 11: Get Your Christofascism Here Folks!

[petrushka]

14 hours ago, postscript said:

Eesh. This sounds like one of those women’s magazines from the 50s that advised women to listen to their husband and not bother him with her so-called petty problems. This after taking care of small children all day. 

Maybe she can pull it off now, but wait until there are 6+ kids, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and homeschooling.  Won't happen unless she breeds enough sister moms.

[JermajestyDuggar]

That post is so pathetic it almost makes me feel sorry for her.

[postscript]

12 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

and that he's in love with her. They could be amazing together, but it doesn't come across that way. I don't get the sense they would have married if they weren't fundies from families that push marriage. If they weren't fundie, I think both of them would be single by choice or at least he would. 

Agree 100%. Every photo of them together involves her staring adoringly at him while he just stands there, barely interacting. Unless there’s something going on behind the scenes, he seems completely uninterested in marriage and family. In another family, she might or might not have been single by choice, but she would definitely have kept working after marriage. She seemed so much happier when she was working and wasn’t being pushed into what looks suspiciously like an arranged marriage, 

[BigSandy]

That makes me so annoyed with fundies, how they're always trying to convince everyone that their way of life is soooo great! Like, I actually think my life is pretty decent, but you don't see me advertising it everywhere and being all know-it-all-y to "young single ladies" (blecchhh). It's almost painful how much they are like "see, our life is so great, I love my husband SOOO much, etc. etc." To borrow from Shakespeare (I think?), the lady doth protest too much, methinks!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Allison has always had a vibe of never being completely happy with her station in life. She was really unhappy when single. Especially when her four oldest siblings (including her bff Chelsy) got married and left in a span of 4 months. Her posts were downright pathetic back then. She kept trying to convince herself that being single was a good thing. She also seemed to hate traveling on the bus with her family for months. She preferred to be at home so she could work at the Inn and meet up with friends. Now she’s married to a guy who doesn’t seem that into her. Even though I’m sure she puts a lot of effort into being the perfect wife. It’s just sad. The life she was forced to have never seems to fulfill her. 

[SassyPants]

On 5/19/2023 at 6:41 AM, petrushka said:

Maybe she can pull it off now, but wait until there are 6+ kids, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and homeschooling.  Won't happen unless she breeds enough sister moms.

Impending laundry room meltdown. Maybe Michelle Duggar can pay it forward and help out.

Fundies refuse to acknowledge that the day is never longer than 24 hours.

[Caroline]

On 5/18/2023 at 7:05 PM, postscript said:

Eesh. This sounds like one of those women’s magazines from the 50s that advised women to listen to their husband and not bother him with her so-called petty problems. This after taking care of small children all day. 

I vaguely remember either my MIL (mother of 8 children) or one of my SIL telling me that at one point in their childhoods all the children had to be tidied up and well-behaved when their father got home from work. I don't know how regimented things were, but I had a picture in my mind of eight kids sitting quietly on the sofa in their best clothes at 5:00 every day.  I don't know if this was the reality though. My inlaws were very progressive people and my MIL actually had a job at different points in their marriage. I honestly don't know how anyone works, maintains a home, cooks every day, and keeps up with any number of kids. 

I was born in the late 50's and my heathen single mother had no such expectations. Keeping my brother alive after school was my major duty at around age 12 because my mother didn't get home from work till 6:00 or later. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

The Bontragers have a new blog post about family camp. They're hosting family camp in four weeks. They don't give out pricing details; just visit our blog! There's a section on the blog about the camp, but then you have to email for registering and pricing.

The post is like a letter it opens with "Dear Friends" and closes with 

Quote

Blessings,
Elizabeth
for the Bontragers, Bowers, and Wissmans

I guess I shouldn't be surprised the Helferichs aren't included, but I forgot the Wissmans are so close to Bontragers and Bowers. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

The Bontragers have a new blog post about family camp. They're hosting family camp in four weeks. They don't give out pricing details; just visit our blog! There's a section on the blog about the camp, but then you have to email for registering and pricing.

The post is like a letter it opens with "Dear Friends" and closes with 

I guess I shouldn't be surprised the Helferichs aren't included, but I forgot the Wissmans are so close to Bontragers and Bowers. 

I think the annual camp was started by the Wissmanns and Bontragers. Then the Bowers family joined later on. I believe the Bontragers have known the Wissmanns probably as long as the Duggars. The families seem to go way back. 

[Sops2]

Another young fundie wife who doesn't look totally happy is Olivia Collingsworth.

Lots of smiles in her photos but she looked happier  before she got married and her smiles never quite reach her eyes these days.

Her parents have "graciously" allowed her time off from their next music tour to concentrate on spending more time with her husband- and she's got a part time job in a coffee shop- yes, she's one of these crazy coffee fundies.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Sops2 said:

Another young fundie wife who doesn't look totally happy is Olivia Collingsworth.

Lots of smiles in her photos but she looked happier  before she got married and her smiles never quite reach her eyes these days.

Her parents have "graciously" allowed her time off from their next music tour to concentrate on spending more time with her husband- and she's got a part time job in a coffee shop- yes, she's one of these crazy coffee fundies.

Olivia is much more privileged than many of the FJ fundies. Her specific group is ok with birth control and higher education for men. They all live very privileged lives. I wouldn’t be surprised if her very privileged life made her disappointed in marriage. She’s moved to a small place away from her family and their giant homes in Ohio. She isn’t traveling as much. Their singing and traveling is way fancier than most fundies. They have multiple luxury busses with pretty clothing to wear on stage. And the venues are way bigger and nicer. She probably thinks her life now is more boring and less luxurious. Even though she married a man that comes from a family with money too. But they are a young married couple who probably have to watch their finances more than when they each lived at home. 

[GreenBeans]

On 5/19/2023 at 4:20 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

That post is so pathetic it almost makes me feel sorry for her.

This. I get wanting to dress up for date night and enjoying time as a couple when you get a babysitter every once in a while. But this post sounded so sad and one-sided. Like she has to dress up for her husband and pretend to be a younger, prettier, more carefree person for him to like her. I mean, we all get older, and life between work, kids, household chores can be stressful at times, it’s just different from dating in your 20s when all you had to worry about was college essay deadlines and what to wear for the next party. But typically, as you get older and settle down with someone, you both grow up and share your worries, but you also share the life you build together, with kids, a home etc… 

It’s so so so sad that she feels like she needs to be that other person from years ago, rather than being herself as part of the couple that  they are today. She doesn’t say anything about HIM having to try hard to impress her, it’s just her not feeling “good enough” as the person the is today. 

And the craziest thing is, she probably doesn’t even realize how sad this post sounds to someone in a happy relationship.

[BigSandy]

11 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

This. I get wanting to dress up for date night and enjoying time as a couple when you get a babysitter every once in a while. But this post sounded so sad and one-sided. Like she has to dress up for her husband and pretend to be a younger, prettier, more carefree person for him to like her. I mean, we all get older, and life between work, kids, household chores can be stressful at times, it’s just different from dating in your 20s when all you had to worry about was college essay deadlines and what to wear for the next party. But typically, as you get older and settle down with someone, you both grow up and share your worries, but you also share the life you build together, with kids, a home etc… 

It’s so so so sad that she feels like she needs to be that other person from years ago, rather than being herself as part of the couple that  they are today. She doesn’t say anything about HIM having to try hard to impress her, it’s just her not feeling “good enough” as the person the is today. 

And the craziest thing is, she probably doesn’t even realize how sad this post sounds to someone in a happy relationship.

Yes yes yes 100%! I wish she realized that it doesn't have to be like that, and that a married couple can grow and change together. She always brags about never having the "honeymoon phase" end, but when I think back to who I was when I was first married, I'm glad we've both grown and changed, and we know each other so much better now. It seems stunted to want to stay in the "honeymoon phase" forever.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Full admission: the honeymoon phase of relationships always made me blind to things that wouldn’t work. To me the honeymoon phase is the first 6 months of a serious relationship. After 6 months, I started to see problems that were invisible to me because of the honeymoon phase. I remember telling my husband when we first started dating that I couldn’t wait until the honeymoon phase ended so I could know for sure if he really was that awesome 😂 We’ve been married for 13 years so there’s your answer. 

[Melissa1977]

She is obnoxious. She's so obsessed with irreal marriage that she is not enjoying motherhood or other things of life. 

No need to live in a neverending honeymoon. It's impossible. No need to be always cheerful and groomed... Marriage is about reality too. Reality leads to authenticity: a relationship cannot last if it's based on fake feelings and role playing. Especially if there is only one person who fakes, roleplays and pretends.

I have a very solid, happy marriage and one of my secrets is EQUALITY. Other is birth control haha.

 

 

Who knows? Maybe he would prefer a more relaxed person as a couple. Maybe he would also enjoy alone time at mornings... 

Not saying it's their case, but sometimes when a person push that much a relationship, the other tries to run.

[browngrl]

Alison and her husband don't look like they laugh together much (if at all). I think one of my cherished aspects of my marriage is that my husband and I are always making each other laugh. Maybe Alison and her husband do goof around and have fun with each other at least sometimes but on the face of it, her marriage looks grimly serious.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Alison and her husband don't look like they laugh together much (if at all). I think one of my cherished aspects of my marriage is that my husband and I are always making each other laugh. Maybe Alison and her husband do goof around and have fun with each other at least sometimes but on the face of it, her marriage looks grimly serious.  

My husband and I are like that too. I’m always sending him memes. We are always joking. I bet Allison has never sent her husband a funny meme. 

[Shannonsnarks]

Allison looks miserable tbh 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Lincoln Taylor and Susanna are engaged. They are getting married the weekend of August 11-13. That is now 3 Helrager couples. 

[anjulibai]

So many double cousins!

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

So many double cousins!

None yet since Denver and Praise haven’t had any kids yet. But if they do end up with some kids along with this new couple, there will be a lot of double first cousins like the Smortons. 

[anjulibai]

28 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

None yet since Denver and Praise haven’t had any kids yet. But if they do end up with some kids along with this new couple, there will be a lot of double first cousins like the Smortons. 

That's true. And actually, looking at the fundie wiki, their sister Lydia only has 1 child,  born about 2 years after she was married, and she's been married for about 10 years. I doubt either Praise or Lydia would be preventing, at least for this long, so it's possible their are fertility issues among the sisters. Only the oldest, Ana, seems to have had "normal" fertility, and she "only" has 5 after 13 years of marriage. 

Also interesting, but Ana and Lydia seem to be married to brothers; both men have the last name Hardy. 

[RebeccaRay]

6 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

That's true. And actually, looking at the fundie wiki, their sister Lydia only has 1 child,  born about 2 years after she was married, and she's been married for about 10 years. I doubt either Praise or Lydia would be preventing, at least for this long, so it's possible their are fertility issues among the sisters. Only the oldest, Ana, seems to have had "normal" fertility, and she "only" has 5 after 13 years of marriage. 

Also interesting, but Ana and Lydia seem to be married to brothers; both men have the last name Hardy. 

Lydia actually just had a baby boy named after her husband Named Andrew in 2022. She was dealing with Infertility

[anjulibai]

10 minutes ago, RebeccaRay said:

Lydia actually just had a baby boy named after her husband Named Andrew in 2022. She was dealing with Infertility

Oh, interesting, thanks for the info! 

[RebeccaRay]

Just now, anjulibai said:

Oh, interesting, thanks for the info! 

She don't post much about it on her Instagram but that's where I found it since I've been following her since Allison and Jeremiah got married