Bro Gary Hawkins 20: Setting Up a Tent at the Train Depot

[Xan]

I'm constantly stunned how little Gary posts or seems to care about his family.  His daughter posted on her page that she was having some sort of surgery on July 5.  (I'm not sure whether it relates to her recent pregnancy loss or not.)  Gary never posts about the new granddaughter.  He hasn't said anything lately about Caleb although Caleb posts religious stuff and parts of sermons all the time.  You'd think he'd be proud of him.  We only know how Becky is doing because Gary will toss a throwaway remark in sometimes in a sermon.  Jacob still helps all the time but Gary never mentions him.

It's as if the only important person in the world is Gary.  And, to Gary, I guess this is the truth.

[thoughtful]

3 minutes ago, Xan said:

I'm constantly stunned how little Gary posts or seems to care about his family.  His daughter posted on her page that she was having some sort of surgery on July 5.  (I'm not sure whether it relates to her recent pregnancy loss or not.)  Gary never posts about the new granddaughter.  He hasn't said anything lately about Caleb although Caleb posts religious stuff and parts of sermons all the time.  You'd think he'd be proud of him.  We only know how Becky is doing because Gary will toss a throwaway remark in sometimes in a sermon.  Jacob still helps all the time but Gary never mentions him.

It's as if the only important person in the world is Gary.  And, to Gary, I guess this is the truth.

Yes, like Jill, I think he's incapable of seeing anything beyond "and what does this mean for me and my needs?"

Unlike Jill, who creates mental clutter that distracts her and keeps her hyped up all the time, I think Gary genuinely struggles with the mental processes of getting through a day. There are only 24 hours in a day (and, unlike Jill, Gary cherishes getting a full nights' sleep, at night), so, between his stupidity, laziness and selfishness, he has nothing left for others.

I also think that a combination of Gary's being male in their culture, and his own personality, makes him think he's off the hook for the social niceties. It seems to be mostly women who ask others how they are doing, listen to their troubles, and keep track of who's on the prayer list. Some men do (especially if they are pastors), but who knows how many of them are posting prayers on Facebook, or asking for them in church, because their wife reminded them.

That's why I joked about Becky telling him to post on Jill's timeline. And all he could manage was "Prayers."

[postscript]

3 hours ago, Xan said:

I'm constantly stunned how little Gary posts or seems to care about his family.  His daughter posted on her page that she was having some sort of surgery on July 5.  (I'm not sure whether it relates to her recent pregnancy loss or not.)  Gary never posts about the new granddaughter.  He hasn't said anything lately about Caleb although Caleb posts religious stuff and parts of sermons all the time.  You'd think he'd be proud of him.  We only know how Becky is doing because Gary will toss a throwaway remark in sometimes in a sermon.  Jacob still helps all the time but Gary never mentions him.

It's as if the only important person in the world is Gary.  And, to Gary, I guess this is the truth.

That’s a good point. From Gary’s social media and even his sermons, one would never know he had a granddaughter. Everyone I know who has grandkids can’t stop talking about them, even if they aren’t allowed to post pictures (and if they are, every milestone is shared). He only vaguely mentioned Caleb’s wedding. Anyone else would have shared a picture of themself with the happy couple, or at least posted a comment about what a joyous day it was. Becky’s health problems have also gotten only the briefest of mentions, even though it’s obvious he doesn’t function well without her, 

Gary’s mind seems to have room only for Gary, the King James Bible, and occasionally Becky, but only to the extent she can serve Gary. 

[thoughtful]

It's the day before a tent revival, so guess what Gary posted!

The requisite video proof that he can still get it up, of course!

The tent, that is.

He says "Whooee, don't lookit mah hair, it looks nasty."

Spoiler

At least it looks like he may have worked up a sweat. Although that could just be from the heat.

ETA - he says he's happy they are near where people live so that, even if they don't come under the tent, "we can git the sound system to 'em."

Also, of course, he pronounces the S at the end of Illinois.

Edited July 9, 2022 by thoughtful

[smittykins]

On 7/7/2022 at 10:33 PM, thoughtful said:

We also sing songs that were written in the last fifty years.

Which was…1972.

I still can’t wrap my head around that. 

[thoughtful]

Gary got in one more post before the tent meeting:

Spoiler

Becky posted another GoFundMe, for a truly tragic situation, and a death due to real heroism. Wasn't there just a conversation on the Braggie thread about not letting kids play on sand bars?

https://www.facebook.com/Becky1976/posts/pfbid02Nd35LBLRWJhV9sYqC3jwdJCKoQrwbdg7DjFNNmCKn8YtxBZR6e9GwKi4XqJk2MjSl

ETA - I read the GoFundMe text - this man was a pastor at the Log Cabin Church in New York, where Gary has preached.

ETA - the church hosting the revival reassures everyone that the weather is fine for a tent event.

Spoiler

 

Edited July 10, 2022 by thoughtful

[Joyster]

Bro Gary making sense again (sarcasm).  Just do it, or wait a minute, don't do it.  Whatever it is, it has to be for the LORD.

Edited July 11, 2022 by Joyster

[thoughtful]

The video for the first service under the tent at the "fall in love with Jesus all over again" revival at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Salem IL begins with Gary already burbling along.

He says something indecipherable about what he was planning to preach that morning and that evening and how something wasn't quite ready - I can't make head or tail of it.

Facebook is not church.

He announces Matthew chapter 13, then charms them with his wit: "Ah never met your pasture until yesterday. Ah tol' him ah'd be here ten o'clock and he finally got here 10:30 amen. But his daughter pretty well warned me raht up front he's not early for nothin' amen."

He goes on about how another church, in Indiana, "was gonna have me, but he forgot t'write it down!"

Gary doesn't let those things get him down, because Jesus is in control. He says he saw something on Facebook, and wished he'd written it down, because he's afraid he won't get it right . . . and then completely forgets what it was.

Great, now Gary is Jamie in the Progressive ad with the dentist.

Finally, to the bible. "Matthew chapter 13, start readin' in verses 13 - verses four - verses 1."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+13%3A1-9&version=KJV

KJV: The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.
Bro Gary Version: The same day, when Jesus -  went out - the same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat and the - by the sea side.

KJV: And when the sun was up, they were scorched;
BGV: And when the sun was up - went up - was up, they were scourged;

Can't keep torture out of it, can you, Gary?

The rest is a mess, as well - Gary rushes (I think he's nervous in this new venue), stumbles over most of the words, and keeps adding and changing things.

He explains to them what revival is - "when somebody that's a little bit cold an' indifferent, maybe a little - backslid a little bit or whatever, an' they come back t'their first love, amen?"

He gets into his "day an' hour we're in" riff, and how "Timothy told Paul - Paul told Timothy" he'd better be "gittin' ready for these things." "We're livin' in purlis tahms, an' if you look up purlis tahms, what that means is we're in dangerous tahms."

I'm glad he defined it, because I can't imagine they knew he was saying "perilous."

He wants them to get out their "spiritual Q-tips" and clean out their ears, and makes sure they know he's talking about what the church and saved people are doing wrong, not "the world." "The drunk in Salem is doing 'zac'ly what he's supposed to be doin'. What? Bein' a drunk."

He says he was "dealin' with a gah" the other day, and his wife gets mad at him when he does that. He never does finish the story, but rambles meaninglessly about posting on Facebook, then tells them about Carl Lackey.

After screaming for a while, he asks "Is ever'body alraht?" Are they not laughing at your joke-like-things and amenning enough for you, Gary?

"Ah'm jus' gon' tellya this much - ah wouldn't tell - ah ah - ah say this ohn Facebook ah don't wanna be mean ah don't wanna be ugly,  but don't tell people you love Jesus and then don't at - don't act lahk it. Amen, if you love me - an' mah statement was, last week when ah put that on there, ah got criticuled bah this one fella, ah fahn'ly got rid of him, amen. Ah told him he needed t'git saved ah don't mahn tellin' people that amen."

Criticuled - a new and wonderful Garyism.

He tells them how he won't preach at someone's  funeral, including his kids, if they're not right with the Lord, then finally announces the title of the message - Who You Listenin' To This Mornin'?

A raving idiot, Gary - that's who they're listening to.

More later.

Edited July 11, 2022 by thoughtful
riffle

[Joyster]

14 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary doesn't let those things get him down, because Jesus is in control. He says he saw something on Facebook, and wished he'd written it down, because he's afraid he won't get it right . . . and then completely forgets what it was.

Maybe this is what Gary means by doing it or not doing it.  This sermon seems to have started off worse than usual, and the bar is pretty low with Gary.  

I wonder if Gary was talking about one of the Davids criticuling him.  The David M. really did seem to be trying to criticule him with all that talk about what Jesus' love looks like.  So far, Gary hasn't said anything to make people fall in love with Jesus again.

I'm curious, I can't see the video, was Gary using his special lectern?  Yes, I can't let that one die.  You know he's dragging that everywhere along with that damn tent.

In other news, for the last five days, Gary's sister has asked for prayers each day for her momma.  Gary's mom is in a lot of pain.  I wonder if Gary's mom is in pain so often that Gary just thinks it's not important.  Anyways, his sister Kim cares.  Here's one of the posts:

Kim later says the second hospital thinks it is nerve pain, not kidney stones.  Whatever it is, Gary nor Becky never ask for prayers.

[thoughtful]

Continuing to get back to our relationship with Jesus: 

Spoiler

and figure out who we are listening to.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+3%3A1-6&version=KJV

Gary actually does the best acting job I've ever heard him do, quoting the "substil" serpent saying "Ye shall not surely die!" The rest is a mess, though.

"Do not criticule Adam an' Eve."

Well, it's official, folks - he thinks that's a word.

He does his usual Adam and Eve routine, then reads one verse from Proverbs 18: A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.

He has trouble getting through it, then says, "What 'bout this? Who you listenin' to when it comes to yo-yos?"

I haven't thought about it in a long time, Gary, but I believe the Duncan company was my yo-yo source when I was a child.

He does define yo-yos, sort of. "You gotta make that thing go up and down." Then he's off on a screamfest about a church he visited (he won't say which, but he tells them "it was in Illinoiss that's as far as ah'm gonna go," and someone in that church had been listening to Steve Anderson. 

Gary's ire at Anderson is obvious - he warns them against him, and says "If he was standin' here today, ah wouldn't - he'd have a problem with me but that's OK ah ah'd haveta  - ammanna tellya, ah don't even think the man is even saved."

I really hate fights - don't even watch them in movies or TV shows. But the idea of Steve Anderson and Gary Hawkins duking it out  . . . nah, still too boring.

Gary, of course, is only horrified by Anderson's doctrine. "If he believes what he says, he's goin' t'Hell."

No mention of his hatefulness - I don't know if that bothers Gary.

Next comes Gary's standard bashing of TV preachers, bad Baptists, and people who give God a last name.  While expressing disgust that people bought Kenneth Copeland an airplane, Gary gets a good solid laugh with his only funny joke, about why he doesn't trust planes ("God said, 'Low, I am with you'").

"But we listen to people like that, an' they snicker us in, an' we start givin' things to 'em."

Snicker as a verb meaning to pull someone in - another Garyism. Maybe "snooker" and "sneak" melded in his mind. 

Benny Hinn's dog had a doghouse with an air conditioner.

Gary tells a story I haven't heard him tell in a while - about the man he went to church with who had polio ("Yer legs - it messes with yer legs, ah guess. An' he couldn't walk"). He went to a healing service, and they wouldn't even let him in the gate.

He goes off on his Covid anti-government rant, and, once again, mistakes the mayor of Chicago for the governor of Illinois, says "Ah found out she's wonna them things called a sodomite - hey, she gonna go to Hell if we don't pray for her. She has no business tellin' churches what t'do."

He does his anti-cliques bit, says he doesn't want to be worshiped (not a problem, Gary), and teases the pastor, "Brother Hicks," about the ever-present spouse-teasing Olympics these shits seem to have. "Ah've never talked to mah wahf like he does his wahf. Mahhhh goo'ness, mah wahf ought t'git up an' shout the victory, run a lap a few tahms!"

Then comes the faux-modesty crap - not much, though. He announces Mark 4:38, tells Becky to come up and do something about pages blowing around, then reads:

KJV: And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?
BGV: And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a piller: and they awoke him, and said unto him, Master, careth thou not that we perish?

Gary goes on about not listening to doubters. Country's in a mess - "Ah paid fahv dollars an' 64 cent - let me rephrase that - God paid fahv dollars an' 64 cent a gallon for fuel."

Gary doesn't understand why people get on Facebook and complain about the price of gas, because "ah still serve the same God apostle Paul did. Ah still serve the same God that Jack Hyles or any of the great preachers thatchu kin think of, that God's still able, amen? God ain't gone broke."

He tells them to go doorknocking and follow up with all of the people that can hear him, in the surrounding houses. More random bellowing and standard preacher-phrases follow.

Go t'Luke chapter nahn - seven.

Later, dude.

 

Edited July 11, 2022 by thoughtful
how do the riffles escape me, then pop up later?

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Joyster said:

I wonder if Gary was talking about one of the Davids criticuling him.

Probably - it's always hard to tell what is going on in Gary's mind.

 

1 hour ago, Joyster said:

I'm curious, I can't see the video, was Gary using his special lectern? 

I can't tell - not sure I'd recognize it, in any case, but this is as much as we've seen of his lectern:

Thanks for finding Kim's post. I'm not surprised that Gary is oblivious to his mother's condition, but I'd expect Becky to keep up and ask for prayers.

And thank you for using "criticuled" - I think we need to keep it in circulation! I may have chosen the wrong blend for the spelling -  think it should be "cridiculed" - more ridicule than criticize?

[Joyster]

47 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I really hate fights - don't even watch them in movies or TV shows. But the idea of Steve Anderson and Gary Hawkins duking it out  . . . nah, still too boring.

I hate fighting also and don't need to see Gary doing it. I think when push comes to shove, both Gary and Steve would go running away from each other like wimps.  Steve might stay to "fight" if he had his buddies with him.  However, Zsu would be another story.  She would not back down.  However, Gary is not important enough for Steven to cridicule him, so none of this will ever happen.

Does Gary ever say what he doesn't like about what Steven Anderson believes?  I know he's spoken about his hatred of Steve Anderson before, but I can't figure out what he hates about Steve's doctrine.  I mean, I think Steven is evil and scary.  Scary in the way that he draws people in (side note: Jill Rod's niece's new husband has been following Steve Anderson's pages for a few months now, which concerns me).  However, I can't figure out Gary's hatred toward the man or why he's coming up again.  I know Anderson is traveling, so maybe he traveled close to where Gary has been.  I know I should stop trying to figure out Gary's mind.

The lectern Gary is preaching from is not Gary's lectern. The lectern someone made for him has a very distinctive top of the cross.

Spoiler

 

Edited July 11, 2022 by Joyster
had to add a cridicule

[thoughtful]

"Luke chapter seven, look in verses 19."

And John calling unto him two of his disciples sent them to Jesus, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?

Gary tell them not to listen to people who want to discourage them. He screams about that for a while, and tells them to encourage their pastor, even if it means lying to him about whether or not they liked his message.

He tries the joke about Becky texting everyone after his funeral to say "thank y'all for comin' to mah funeral." Nobody laughs, so he, of course, tells them that some of them will get that after a while. Becky, please tell him to add a line about taking his phone to do it - maybe even posting on his Facebook page.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+15%3A12-13&version=KJV

He warns them not to listen to losers. He does a horrible job of telling the story of Albert Adamkoski's death. "Satur - ah ah, Frahdee mornin' he got up he was gittin' his daughter went into the water, went in a little bit too deep in the lake up in New York, an he's no longer here to tell any more stories."

Gary's just happy that "according to his testimony, he's shoutin' it out in victory."

More of the usual crap about how we could all die anytime follows. His sister's JW co-worker gets a mention, and he tells them all about his new expertise on "Mawminism."

"Ah was innerduced t'the real deal this year. Ah done a revahval in a Cedar City Utah, an' we went out an' ah got up behahnd the pulpit and ah said 'Ah wanna meet a Mormon!' Guess what? Ah met two of 'em. Y'know what? Ah listened to 'em an' ah listened to 'em, an' ah tol' - ah tol' wonna th'gahs ah said 'Listen, if Joseph Smith could come back today, they would be no more Mawminism.' Ah said, 'But he cain't!' An' ah said 'So y'all gonna continuously carry on th'lahs that Mawminism is the greatest thing.'"

I'm not sure why Joseph Smith coming back would end Mormonism. Maybe  Gary had an extra step in his mind, that he forgot to say, like they'd recognize him for a charlatan if he was a contemporary.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+20%3A45-47&version=KJV

KJV: Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets
BGV: Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in lon - in long robes, and long greetings in the markets

"How 'bout Pharisees?" He rants about "dead churches" and the like for a while - nothing original.

He tries to read John 3:3 and 3:5, which are similar, goes too fast, mostly repeats 3:3, then corrects himself, but ends with "kingdom of Heaven."

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

Get born again, get saved, Jesus says so. And then you have to do something with the fact that you are saved - go give out gospel tracts. The devil is after you.

He is inviting them to the altar when the video shuts off.

Edited July 11, 2022 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

39 minutes ago, Joyster said:

Does Gary ever say what he doesn't like about what Steven Anderson believes?  I know he's spoken about his hatred of Steve Anderson before, but I can't figure out what he hates about Steve's doctrine.

I think he may have specified once, a long time ago, but usually he just rants.  It may be the pre-trib, post-trib Rapture thing, or Anderson's belief that there are people who cannot be saved. Gary may throw a tract from a distance at anyone who he thinks doesn't fit rigid gender roles, shuddering and pushing imaginary cooties off of himself, but he doesn't think they should be left to burn in Hell.

44 minutes ago, Joyster said:

However, I can't figure out Gary's hatred toward the man or why he's coming up again.  I know Anderson is traveling, so maybe he traveled close to where Gary has been.  I know I should stop trying to figure out Gary's mind.

I think Gary heard about Anderson via the Internet a few years ago. He brings him up now and then. He did say that, this time, he met someone at one of the other churches he visited (in Illinoisss, but he won't say where - not a gossip, our Gary!) who was watching Anderson's videos.

[zee_four]

On 6/24/2022 at 5:18 AM, FiveAcres said:

Does anyone else get creeped out by terminology of Brother / Sister Whoever for non-blood relatives?

Not really. In Polynesian culture everyone is ohana even if its not blood, so its auntie, brotha, sista, uncle, cuz, etc to everyone.

Then in the LDS church most of my ohana is part of its Brother or Sister whoever.

It's never creeped me out or given me an incestuous vibe but that's because of my background, it's intersing to see a different perspective. 

[Joyster]

It's Gary's Happy day!  He got in Praise the LORD.  Out of curiosity, what do you get for someone's Savedday?  Do you send an e-card?  Gary probably prefers a gas card. Oh well, I can't touch the poop, so I shouldn't overthink it.

[thoughtful]

Becky has a special post for her beloved husband on his Gotcha Day With Jesus:

Spoiler

I kid, I kid.

Edited July 11, 2022 by thoughtful
fixing spoiler

[Hane]

@thoughtful, “criticuled” is *chef’s kiss*.

[MayMay1123]

10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

 

I'm not sure why Joseph Smith coming back would end Mormonism. Maybe  Gary had an extra step in his mind, that he forgot to say, like they'd recognize him for a charlatan if he was a contemporary.

 

I think that he believes Mormons worship Joseph Smith, rather than Jesus. Jesus came back from the dead, but Joseph Smith can't? But if he did, then why would they leave Mormonism? Wouldn't that prove... something? 

[FeministShrew]

Gary probably means that Joseph Smith is (in Gary’s belief) burning in hell, and if he could come back to earth he’d tell all Mormons to “get saved.” I heard that many times over the years from preachers, also about Buddha, Mohamed, various popes, etc. 

Also, the Brother/Sister thing: very common in the South, especially among older people. Not so much in Southern Baptist churches, but in Independent, Free Will, and Pentecostal churches where I grew up. In fact, I grew up Southern Baptist and never heard it at church. my best friend growing up was Mormon, and for years I thought she had an older sister because she once told me that Sister Whatever-her-name had given her a set of Little House on the Prairie books.

I didn’t hear it again until I started attending an Independent Baptist church with my first husband, then heard it all the time in the Free Will Baptist church I belonged to. Was used a little in the Southern Baptist church that was the last hurrah for my religious experience (mostly by the pastor or choir leader calling Sister whoever to play the organ or brother whoever to lead prayer).

Edited July 11, 2022 by FeministShrew
Added thought

[Alisamer]

8 hours ago, zee_four said:

Not really. In Polynesian culture everyone is ohana even if its not blood, so its auntie, brotha, sista, uncle, cuz, etc to everyone.

Then in the LDS church most of my ohana is part of its Brother or Sister whoever.

It's never creeped me out or given me an incestuous vibe but that's because of my background, it's intersing to see a different perspective. 

It's fairly common in the South, especially when referring to a fellow church member, to use "brother". "Sister" is more rare. Both I think may be  more common in majority African American churches but most people wouldn't be surprised to hear it in most Southern protestant churches. My dad will sometime use "brother" to refer to the pastor, especially an associate pastor, for some reason. The pastors at our church right now are just "Tim" and "Tori" but my dad might use "brother" when referring to a previous pastor. "Brother Winecoff" for example. He was a very old pastor who was an associate pastor at the church, and everyone referred to him as "Dr. Winecoff" generally. I don't even know what his first name was. But the rest of the staff including the full time pastor went by first names. Even though the full time one also had a doctorate of divinity.

So knowing where Gary is from, I'd expect him to use "brother" pretty frequently. Probably also to help him out when he can't remember someone's name. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

@thoughtful, “criticuled” is *chef’s kiss*.

Hey, don't credit me - Gary came up with it all by his big boy self!

The second video from yesterday starts with Gary saying " . . . may bring. Y'know what? We better start uh - quit worryin' about tomorrow - we better quit worr - st- uh uh quit worryin' about what's gonna happen Let me say somethin' to ya - quit trahin' t'figure out what Joe Bahden's gonna do, because Joe Bahden don't know an' you ain't never gonna figger it out amen? An' if it makes sense what the politician worl' does, then they wouldn't do it, amen?"

This gets laughs and assent.

"But then you look in churches,  listen hey, amanna tellya raht now, quit lookin' at people. Ya say 'Wha?' Well, people're crazy, amen?"

He shrieks his incredulity about people who wouldn't want to "receive an' awwlmahty, righteous God."

After telling us how God has taken care of him after he quit working and went on the road, he says  "Post not thyself of tomorrow," and I figure out that he was reading from Psalms 27 when the video started: Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.

"Post not" seems an appropriate change for Gary and his Facebook obsession. He does pronounce "boast" correctly after that (because of course he repeats it over and over).

And again, he tries to yell-tell the story of the man who died rescuing his child: "You know what? We may not wake up. Ah toldchu this mornin' some of you wasn't here, but this mornin' ah just looked ohn - ah got up this mornin' an' uh uh ah was gittin' things ready an' ah looked on Facebook there for a minute, an' a friend - ah don't know him personally-personally, ah preached at his church, ah've met him a coupla down tahms down in Houston Texas, ah know a lotta gahs that know him an' everything-uh, an' ah even got a text from a brother that ah know that knew him, an' he went out - they was out picnickin' ohn Frahdee, they was doin' well, havin' a good tahm, their chil'ren went out an' got a little bit too far, an' one of them - ah don't know a whole lot about water 'n' stuff - ah don't lahk water amen? Ah take a shower an' that's as far as it goes, amen."

"An' all of a sudden some kinda current or whatever got aholt of two of 'em, an' he sees that, an' he runs, an' bein' a daddy, an' he runs out an trah t'catch the daughter, an' an' kinda git the daughter from drownin', an' he's doin' his best an' finally he gets her, an' the current gits him," Suddenly quiet: "An' it takes him outta here."

I don't know where the stuff about Texas came from. For a minute, I thought I was wrong about who it was, but I looked at the GoFundMe again, and it was in the Adirondacks, and it says he was the pastor of the Log Cabin Church on Progress Road.

Maybe Becky will re-explain who the man was at some point.

Of course, Gary, going back to yelling, makes sure they know that, according to his testimony, he's "a whole lot better off than he was Frahdee."

Gary tells a story about his childhood: "Ah remember years ago when ah was - mah Daddy started a church on the ocean coastah North Carolina, an' we live - mah Daddy rented a house right on the waterways of the ocean, an' ah been out, sommah mah siblings and some friends was out swimmin' - well, not swimmin', ah cain't, the only thing ah can swim is lahk a rock, ah go straight to the bottom real quick-like, amen."

"An' all of a sudden, ah - ah'm backin' up, an' ah'm facin' everybody else, an' all of a sudden, ah walk - ah step off an' there's no  - there's no sand there, there's nothin' there for me t'hold to. Ah grab mah sister  - ah just about drownded."

And he's back to the usual stuff about how we can all die any minute, and how, due to his life insurance, he's worth more dead than his alive.

"Then, the other day, mah wahf was comin' back from uh New Mexico, she went north - to North Carolina t'have some medical procedures taken keer of an' everything, and she stopped an' seen one of our friend, ananan' he dahd last year of the Covid, an' when the state or whatever found out about it, they give her nahn thousan' dollars! Ah tol' mah wahf ah said 'Ah don't keer what kills me, you make sure they think it was the Covit.'"

Chuckles from the congregation.

I'm only about five minutes in, but this has been so chock-full of new Garyweird, I think I'll continue in another post.

ETA - I realized that maybe Gary meant he actually met Adamkoski only at the camp meeting, which was in Texas. IIRC, Gary was a substitute when he preached at Log Cabin - maybe they never met during that visit.

Gary is so hard to understand.

Edited July 11, 2022 by thoughtful

[Xan]

27 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary tells a story about his childhood: "Ah remember years ago when ah was - mah Daddy started a church on the ocean coastah North Carolina, an' we live - mah Daddy rented a house right on the waterways of the ocean, an' ah been out, sommah mah siblings and some friends was out swimmin' - well, not swimmin', ah cain't, the only thing ah can swim is lahk a rock, ah go straight to the bottom real quick-like, amen."

So, that's another reason that he hates the beach.  Gary can't swim.  It's easier for him to condemn everyone who puts on a bathing suit than for him to admit that he's scared of the water.  But then Gary is scared of bunches of stuff.  It's just easier to cling to "the old rugged cross/God is good all the time/Jesus saves" than to admit that he doesn't understand a lot of what's going on and refuses to learn.

From what I could tell, Albert Adamkowski had the family on an outing and the 4 kids were playing on a sand bar -- never a good idea.  They slipped off and the current caught them but surrounding adults saved 3.  Albert jumped in to save the 4th, his daughter, and got her but didn't make it back himself.  I hate to criticule Gary but if any of his kids slid off a sand bar they'd be out of luck because Gary wouldn't even bother to try jumping in.  If they've been saved, however, he'd probably deign to speak at their funerals.

I love the word "Garyweird", @thoughtful!

[AmazonGrace]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Becky has a special post for her beloved husband on his Gotcha Day With Jesus:

  Hide contents

I kid, I kid.

 

Oh, maths... I hate that.

[thoughtful]

2 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

Oh, maths... I hate that.

I wonder what the point is. If the only choices were 1 and 5, I'd guess that it was about being right or left-handed. But the choice of 3 seems odd, to me. Maybe it's to find out whether, when someone went to school, they learned one of the more sophisticated finger-counting systems.

I'm a piano teacher, so, to me, the thumb is always 1, on either hand.