Bro Gary Hawkins 20: Setting Up a Tent at the Train Depot

[postscript]

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

This video was done after the shooting in Highland Park. "Somebody put ohn Facebook an' said, because of what - an' ah'm in Chicago, which - we didn't go t'the parade, ah didn't, ah didn't know they was havin' one, but that's OK, ah'm glad ah didn't. Heh - mah mah boy tol' me he said 'yes, but if ah'd known they's havin' one ah'd prob'ly ask t'go.' He said 'Man, ah'm glad ah didn't know.' Six killed, 20-some hurt - shot. But we're gonna - God's gonna look down and just bless America? Mm-mm."

So, as ever, Gary is totally fucked up - he seems to think this was at the Chicago parade, he and his son seem unaware that cities and towns (maybe just in Yankeeland) have July 4th parades, and the only reason it happened was people who don't follow Gary's exact type of Christianity.

Gary, each of the suburbs has its own parade and many of the Chicago neighborhoods also have their own. Of course, after the shooting, most of the northern suburbs cancelled theirs. You were in no danger of attending that particular parade, which was roughly 20 miles north of where you were. 

I'm on a number of Facebook boards relating to neighboring communities, which are sharing information from similar Highland Park boards. So far, I know of at least 3 interfaith services and the list of Go Fund Mes is long. The community is devastated but hanging together. I doubt Gary will utter a single prayer on their behalf. 

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, postscript said:

I doubt Gary will utter a single prayer on their behalf. 

Well, he might pray that those who died were "saved," and that their surviving families were scared into getting "saved." That's all he cares about.

 

[thoughtful]

Let's see what the LORD has us.

Spoiler

Gary tries to help the Stouts:

Spoiler

OK, that's enough helping - gotta get in some bigotry.

Spoiler

 

[Alisamer]

39 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

OK, that's enough helping - gotta get in some bigotry.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I'm probably remembering the story wrong, but I have a really hard time agreeing with anyone who bases their beliefs on a story that praises someone for offering their virginal daughters to an angry horny mob. That's one of the Bible stories that makes the least sense to me. Like, hey, you have angelic guests and are being hospitable, great! But the WHOLE rest of the town is so overcome with lust that they are beating down the door trying to get in your (apparently male) guests pants without their consent? Really? All the men in the whole town are bi or gay, yet they are all also so hard up for company that they'll go after any newcomer to visit the town? I'm assuming the angels didn't appear in their forms as described in Revelation, if they were that incredibly attractive and not terrifying. 

How does any of that make any sense whatsoever? And on the off chance some strange fanfic style sex pollen did manage to infect all the men of the town, how is offering up your daughters the correct Godly answer to that situation?

[Xan]

17 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'm probably remembering the story wrong, but I have a really hard time agreeing with anyone who bases their beliefs on a story that praises someone for offering their virginal daughters to an angry horny mob.

I agree.  I hate this story.  Lot offers up his daughters and, if I remember correctly, either a daughter or a concubine ends up dead.  Then God decides to kill everyone in the city (which seems more than a little unfair because it was really the mob at the door that needed killing) and Lot and his family flee.  God says not to look back but Lot's wife does so God, in a fit of pique, turns her to a pillar of salt.  Why?  She's grieving over her home.  I suppose the writer could have meant that metaphorically and she cried until she was a "pillar of salt" but I'm doubtful.  It's just more of the vengeful God stuff that puts me off religion.

[thoughtful]

Gary enjoys his "rapture on a Wednesday" fantasy:

Some comments under the sin post:

Spoiler

Are the Cannonites the people that shoot t-shirts at events?

 

[samurai_sarah]

8 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary enjoys his "rapture on a Wednesday" fantasy:

(snip)

Next Wednesday? Oh dear. That's going to be so annoying either way. I have no desire to be raptured. And since I am unlikely to be, I'll be so annoyed to find colleagues raptured. Not to mention the BBQ I have planned. Do I invite the other unsaved "just in case", and then go "ooops, sorry, no food for you", if the Rapture doesn't happen?

I suppose I'll just throw a couple more weens onto the BBQ...

[keepercjr]

Hello everyone!  I haven't checked out the bro Gary threads in about a year but I do occasionally check up on the poor kids involved in this mess.  Apologies if this was posted already but in May, Becky's daughter Adrienne posted some stuff about being pro-choice and it caused an argument with someone.  This was her reply when the person said she had been raised in a christian home:

 

I remember when she first went to live with her dad, she was still skirts wearing, toeing the line Gary and Becky beat into her.  She has truly blossomed into her own and is clearly having to come to terms in the environment she was forced into by Becky.  I won't be surprised if she goes no contact at some point with Becky or severely limits contact (Carly may be no or low contact already).  Adrienne has to deal with the fact that her own mother brought a vile stepfather into her life and chose him over her own children - literally and figuratively. 

[postscript]

18 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

Hello everyone!  I haven't checked out the bro Gary threads in about a year but I do occasionally check up on the poor kids involved in this mess.  Apologies if this was posted already but in May, Becky's daughter Adrienne posted some stuff about being pro-choice and it caused an argument with someone.  This was her reply when the person said she had been raised in a christian home:

 

I remember when she first went to live with her dad, she was still skirts wearing, toeing the line Gary and Becky beat into her.  She has truly blossomed into her own and is clearly having to come to terms in the environment she was forced into by Becky.  I won't be surprised if she goes no contact at some point with Becky or severely limits contact (Carly may be no or low contact already).  Adrienne has to deal with the fact that her own mother brought a vile stepfather into her life and chose him over her own children - literally and figuratively. 

Oh, my. That paints a perfect picture of what life under Gary’s headship is like. Unfortunately, it coincides with what we had already deduced. I hope for her own mental health that she goes no contact. Gary, of course, will preach about how she’ll burn in hell, but on a personal level won’t care if he ever sees her again. He doesn’t seem to care a rat’s ass for any of their children, even the ones for whom he acted as sperm donor. 

[thoughtful]

There are some real shitheads in that thread. Nice to see Adrienne hold her own.

[thoughtful]

Tonight, at Bible Baptist Church in Harrisburg IL, Gary is talking about death when the video starts. We'll be out of here soon, he's just passing through  - the usual.

He starts to announce Matthew chapter 16, interrupts himself to tell them there are prayer cards they should put on their refrigerators because they're Baptists, thanks them for the various meals they've been treated to since they arrived yesterday, then reads.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+16%3A18-20&version=KJV

He babbles about Moses and Abraham, the government wanting to shut the churches down in 2020 and 2021 ("You kin say it was about a vahris, ah say it was about control"), berates them about not yelling "Amen" enough for him.

The church is not the building, it's the people, Brother Lee Roberson's church burned down the other day, but that was just the building.

More standard Garyscream follows - country's in a mess, but they knew it was coming because "the bahble's been saying that for decades." Days of Noah, days of Lot, Jesus is soon coming - nothing that even remotely relates to what he read from Matthew, not even the "Peter was not the first Pope" bit that usually follows it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+28%3A19-20&version=KJV

He yells at them about godbothering for a while, then announces "Go t'Luke chapter 44, amen? Luke chapter 24 - lemme - drinka water here real quick-lahk -  look in verses 6, verses 5."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+24%3A5-7&version=KJV

He yells about how the church ain't dead, and Jesus is alive, for a while.

While telling them that he is grateful for the people who came tonight after a hard day's work, he says he's finally figured out why he's been so tired for the last few weeks - "Ah'm fat, it's hot, and they don't go together amen!"

I guess that's as close as Gary will ever come to admitting that other people might work harder than he does, and that, if he's tired, it's not due to work. Or maybe he's just getting better at faux-humility preacher tricks. It does get him some friendly, sympathetic-sounding laughs.

After saying that he trusts Jesus, not the government, because the government never did anything for him, he babbles about his taxes, and how he didn't get as much as he expected (he never says "refund," but I assume that's what he means).

"When ah looked at it, ah said 'It's not matching up with what you told me ah was gittin.' The guv'mint took fahve hunnert dollars."

Diesel prices are high, but God's going to pay for it, God/Jesus is on the throne, not poppin' pills, old time preachers, how sick the pastor in Chicago is, his upcoming salvation anniversary (which he'd be happy to "celebrate on the other sahd").

"Am ah makin' sense tohaht? 'Bout two of ya, amen."

As usual, he tells them the next book and chapter, waits, mumbles some Becky-teasing comment, then tells them to go to verse 58 right before reading it. So annoying.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A58&version=KJV

Gary's on the winning side. God's been good to him, and his seven children. He talks about stopping at a rest stop on the road, wearing his Trump 2024 hat (he almost says that's it's his hat that says "Build the Wall." No, Gary - that's your bumper sticker).

"An' she asked me, 'You keep up with the politicians?'"

Who was the she? I have no idea - Gary skipped that part. Gary told her not to go to CNN or Fox News, but to the King James Bible.

She asked if we were going to have World War III, Gary said he didn't know, but gave her a gospel tract and told her she'd better be sure where she was going to go when she dies. He ends this story with a smug "Ah wanted her t'be ohn th'winnin' sahd."

"The other day ah was in Chi - somewhere in Kentucky, preached at a church all day on Sunday, and uh, mah plans was t'git up Mondee mornin' an' git the vehicle an' head to Tennessee.  An' we got up, got the vehicle, an' ah made it 30 mahls."

Yes, Gary's truck broke down again. Unless "the other day" was weeks or months ago and we've already heard this story.

"Mah awl laht come on." Something too mumbled to understand, then "It ended up it wadn't th'awl, 'cause ah checked th'awl ah din need awl. But mah - but water had blew out. An' mah boy poured - we had about a half a bag of water bottles an' we poured all the water in there an' mah boy says 'The water was there an' all of a sudden it disappeared.'"

Oh, yeah - we have heard this story already. Jacob figured out that the water pump had "gohn on me." Which, I assume means it had broken. He tells them about the preacher getting him help. He also says that a church had given him money to join "triple A," and he'd just joined a few days earlier.

Oh, good, Gary! Besides being glad that Rascal and Jacob might be somewhat safer, maybe now you will remember that AAA is the auto club, and AA is the addiction group.

And, of course, the only reason he tells this story is to say it was a blessing from God, because he was obedient.

No, you sack of shit, it was help from other people.

Gary's been doing pretty well with the readings, but the next one has some words he never gets right:

KJV: Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.
BGV: Now thanks be t'God, thanks be unto God, which also causes us to trumphet in Christ, and makest manifest the saviour of his knowledge by us in every. Place.

"How 'bout this? Bein' faithful t'God." He does his blood riff, and talks about how sometimes "the flesh" doesn't want to come to church. And that sets him off on one of his TMI illness rants.

After reassuring them that he doesn't have Covid, he tells the story of when he thought he had it. It was while he was church-sitting last winter. He makes a big deal about how he was "the ohhhhnly preacher that's with that church, that can be there Sunday mornin'! Saturday naht ah started feelin' bad. Well, ah got some stuff, ah didn - if you wanna know, ah don't mahn sayin' it onlahn, ah said it before - what is it called, Becky?"
Becky: "Ivermectin."
Gary: "Ahvermectin. Ahh think that's the best madison that's ever come from Jesus Chrise, amen! Ah took somma that stuff went to sleep an' got up the next mornin' feelin' fahn."

While burbling on about trying to make plans with someone in the congregation (this fits the guilt-mongering about ill and frail people who still come to church - the man is 90, and they were having trouble scheduling because of the man's doctor appointments), Gary mentions that someone was working on his trailer again today.

"Was there somebody here last year on Wednesday naht that's not here today? You know what happened? The devil."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+10%3A23&version=KJV

Don't quit. He tells them way too many details about "a preacher frienda mahn" that has diabetes, and his recent amputation and other health issues. I'll spare you. He is talking about Brother Mike Stout, and it sounds like he's not long for this world.

But, of course, for Gary that's just grist for the mill - he's still on his bit about people who have physical problems  but are still "faithful to God."

"Here's a man, he's BOUND to a wheelchair."

No, Gary - no, he's not.

Gary tells us that Mike was supposed to stay in the nursing home to heal, so they can give him a "fake foot," but "God intervened," and he went to church last Sunday.

While going on about how he has (and they have) no excuse for not going to church, if Mike can pastor "IN A WHEELCHAIR," Gary tells them that he is willing to do whatever it takes to get to church, but he can't match his clothes. While he was traveling without Becky, he laid out clothes before church, took a picture of them, and sent it to her, asking "Does this match?"

He reassures them that Becky's doing well after her surgery, and is "back to her ol' mean self, amen."

He goes on about a preacher whose wife had a heart attack, who is "pretty much a vegetable," and how her husband takes care of her. But he had to depend on someone to "watch his wife" while he goes to pastor his church. "If he can go ohn, with his wahf in that condition, ah can go ohn."

He talks about Job, tells them he'll let them out in time for I Love Lucy, and tells them not to quit.

"Go to James, chapter 15 we're just about done, we're gettin' close, James chapter 15. No, it's James chapter fahv, verses 15 - 'f'you got a James 15, you better throw it in the trash. James chapter fift - fahv, verses 16, here's what the bahble says."

KJV:  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
BGV:  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may heal the effectual -  that ye may be healed. The effectual prayer of a righteous man availest much.

Aw, c'mon, Gary - I want to hear you say "fevrent."

He blabs at them about praying for a while, says "they" are teaching boys that they have to be girls, and vice-versa, he hopes his granddaughter is going to be home-schooled.

The government had better stay out of church, but the church had better get into government.

"Ah love America. An' Joe Bahden hates America."

He annoys them about making sure they pray enough for a while.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=revelation+20%3A10&version=KJV

"Wonna these days, we're gonna get rid of the devil - ah'm lookin' so forward to it."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+10%3A9&version=KJV

"The church ain't goin' nowhere. Hang ohn! Stay in there! Stay tight! Stay planted! For we're soon gittin' outta here."

Edited July 7, 2022 by thoughtful
riffle

[Dana723]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

After reassuring them that he doesn't have Covid, he tells the story of when he thought he had it. It was while he was church-sitting last winter. He makes a big deal about how he was "the ohhhhnly preacher that's with that church, that can be there Sunday mornin'! Saturday naht ah started feelin' bad. Well, ah got some stuff, ah didn - if you wanna know, ah don't mahn sayin' it onlahn, ah said it before - what is it called, Becky?"
Becky: "Ivermectin."
Gary: "Ahvermectin. Ahh think that's the best madison that's ever come from Jesus Chrise, amen! Ah took somma that stuff went to sleep an' got up the next mornin' feelin' fahn."

Horse medicine for a horse's ass...

[thoughtful]

New comments under the sin post:

 

Timothy seems to want to remind them what the actual sin of Sodom was, but Jeffrey is just lapping up the opportunity to bash gay people. And, as ever, Gary seems unable to write (or dictate) a sentence.

[Alisamer]

It's always interesting when they point out what the actual sin of Sodom was. It was BEING LAZY AND NOT HELPING THE POOR.

But that's not what they WANT it to be. They want it to be about homosexuality. Because they are lazy and don't want to help the poor - to the point that they actually turn around and call the poor "lazy" and talk about not wanting to "give away their hard-earned money" to somebody they don't think "deserves" it. 

Gay people are easy to hate on, and they'll dig out any excuse to do so. It takes far less effort than, you know, helping people in need. 

I guess the Bible is God-breathed and inerrant... unless it specifically says something you don't want it to say!

[thoughtful]

In case anyone was thinking that we'd already heard the worst, stupidest thing Gary will ever say, he just posted this:

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

I guess some old or middle-aged pastor said he was too tired to go to church, or that SBC Baptists weren't going to burn in Hell, or some other unforgivable thing.

[thoughtful]

Jethere seemed to know what Gary was talking about in his "even the older ones are changing" post, but Joe wants Gary to be clear and specific.

Everyone sing: "To dream the impossible dream . . . "

[thoughtful]

Hey! Gary actually answered! It's his usual bullshit, but he did actually answer with a list of specific things.

Now it's Barbara who makes no sense.

[thoughtful]

Joe tries a long, thought-out answer to Gary's list, fool that he is:

Quote

Gary Hawkins that is much more informative than the first post, thanks. However, we have to be careful not to mix up tradition with Bible.

I'm not saying you are, but many people treat their traditions like they were the word, and that's just as dangerous. I think we can lay down some of our tradition, without compromising Bible truth.

*disclaimer: I am not a pastor of any church. I am a member of an independent fundamental Baptist church where I serve as a lay teacher.*

We love to sing out of our Bible at our church, and we also sing lots of hymns. We also sing songs that were written in the last fifty years. We usually do this on special occasions, with an ensemble rather than the whole congregation. We carefully compare the lyrics to the Bible, and make sure that they aren't contradictory to God's word. Is that wrong? If it is, I'll take the reproof if someone shows me in the Bible.

Also, I'll never ask someone to leave because of the way they're dressed (a visitor). There is an expectation for members and regulars to dress appropriately, especially teachers and preachers. But we don't require a specific style for men or women, or length of dress/skirt. The rule is modest and covered, that's it. Again, if that's wrong, I'll take the reproof when someone shows me in the Bible.

Lastly, when I lead Bible studies, I usually do it in a fairly informal fashion. We do entire books of the Bible, we take as long as it takes (we spent over a month combing through Jude), it's open forum. Anyone can ask questions and present their thoughts, even youth and women. I don't stand at a pulpit, but we sit in a round table format and I lead the discussion, carefully keeping it on topic and using the whole counsel of God as a lens with which to study our topic.

This isn't formal, old fashioned preaching, but again... I'll take reproof if you can show me that it's unbiblical.

All these things tend to cross the line of old fashioned independent fundamental Baptist tradition. I am not aware of anywhere in scripture they cross God's lines. I'll tell you this, and it should hold the attention of anyone who has teenagers. I could call over half our youth group right now and ask them to pray about something, and they'd drop anything and do it. We have seen 3 young men called to preach from our youth group in the past 24 months, including two to missions.

Our church members are dedicated to living for Jesus, and 3/4ths of our member roll volunteers in some ministry regularly.

We have seen several saved this year, even without a pastor, and we've grown spiritually as a group. To me that is a measure of God's blessing on what we've done. Our goal should be to share God's truth, lead souls to Christ and disciple them to grow them into people who will do what God calls them to do. If we don't compromise truth, we can do that, but I don't believe that we have to do it exactly like we did it a century ago.

P.S: I'm a firm believer that the king James is superior to every other English translation, and we won't allow anyone to teach in our church with another version or translation. I do reference Hebrew and Greek though, and I think that's just fine.

He gets a Gary answer:

ETA - Gary edited his post. Let's see if it addresses some of Joe's concerns:

Spoiler

Well, then. 🙄

 

Edited July 8, 2022 by thoughtful

[postscript]

In every church I’ve ever been associated with, the social element has been a major component. It’s part of the church’s ministry. People gather for church, but have a coffee hour afterwards. They have a midweek Bible study or prayer meeting, but they also use those times to catch up with each other - “fellowship,” in Gary’s lingo. It’s always been that way. My grandparents got The bulk of their social  interaction from activities like Ladies’ Aid, Altar Guild and choir.  Gary seems to want to suck all the fun out of religion. Plus, he’s contradicting himself, given the constant jokes about how Baptists love to eat.

Joe should know better than to engage Gary with a well-thought out, grammatical response. Gary will just pout and say “It Bible” to anyone who disagrees with him. 

Shooting is caused by politicians? Are these the gun-loving conservatives Gary admires, or the liberals whom he hates who want to enact bans on assault weapons? Guess we know what his answer would be to that one. I would love to hear him tie himself in knots explaining that logic. 

[thoughtful]

Gary, who would still be miserable no matter how much happiness anyone tried to give him, posts:

12 hours ago, postscript said:

Shooting is caused by politicians? Are these the gun-loving conservatives Gary admires, or the liberals whom he hates who want to enact bans on assault weapons? Guess we know what his answer would be to that one. I would love to hear him tie himself in knots explaining that logic. 

Me, too. I assume he means Democrats, and I can't help but wonder if he's thought it through, or even has a theory beyond "it's their fault - somehow."

It wouldn't surprise me if he really thinks liberal politicians are behind it. Besides the "crisis actor" theories, some of the nuts who believe in "false flag" theories seem to think that the killing is real, but it was set up by people who want to make gun owners look bad, so we can take away their guns.

No matter how repulsive an idea may be, it seems there are people ready to believe it, and, between his stupidity and his intense Us vs. Them mentality, he could actually think that.

[Black Aliss]

On 7/5/2022 at 9:50 AM, Antipatriarch said:

Will wonders never cease! Gary actually said something I'm glad to hear him saying. I've long felt on this issue that Fundies and Evangelicals should be careful what they wish for.

Except that their proposed solution is to make sure that all teachers are, not just Christian, but the right kind of Christian. Which gets sticky too--will the IFBers object to a NewIFB or <horrors!> SBC teacher leading the classroom prayer?

[thoughtful]

5 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Except that their proposed solution is to make sure that all teachers are, not just Christian, but the right kind of Christian. Which gets sticky too--will the IFBers object to a NewIFB or <horrors!> SBC teacher leading the classroom prayer?

Need we even ask? Of course they would.

[Joyster]

Gary is setting up his tent in Salem, IL.  I keep trying to figure out why he capitalizes random nouns like morning and hearts.  I should know better than to try to figure out Gary's mind.

The theme of the revival is falling in love with Jesus all over again .  I don't think Gary's the right guy for this theme.

Spoiler

 

Edited July 9, 2022 by Joyster

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, Joyster said:

Gary is setting up his tent in Salem, IL.  I keep trying to figure out why he capitalizes random nouns like morning and hearts. 

How dare you wonder? He gets a Message directly from God to capitalize those Nouns, of course!

If Gary is doing all of the preaching for this revival, that will be six Gary-harangues. I wonder if he will go off into one of his riffs of gory details about other people's illnesses, and include Pat Noyes.

Of course, her husband isn't "a preacher frienda mahn," and the Rodrigueses, being fellow grifters, have never given Gary money or an opportunity to preach, so she might not be worthy of Gary's attention, or close enough to his end of the grapevine for the Hawkinses to know the details.