Carlin & Evan 11: Scary Health Situation

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, backyard sylph said:

 

I think I remember being told not to have them fully sitting up until around four months, when their neck muscles were strong enough to hold their heads up for awhile. But yeah, they'd be more reclined than lying flat, in a car seat or stroller.

Yeah, I remember being told not to use a bumbo before 4 months or put them in a high chair. but anything that supported the back like a bouncy chair, stroller or even the booster was fine. Anything that allowed them to be more reclined than sitting. You can see that the stroller is clicked into position where it’s doing most of the work supporting Zade. 
 

i also think it is cultural, because prams/bassinet strollers where the baby lays flat are pretty rare here. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My oldest was scary strong. So he was sitting up just fine at 6 months. 

[CanadianMamam]

4 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My oldest was scary strong. So he was sitting up just fine at 6 months. 

I think all 3 of mine were (well 6 months adjusted for my baby). I have a picture of my oldest on his 6 month birthday sitting unassisted on a blanket in the park, so I know be was.

 

 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

@Bluebirdbluebell Sometimes you just end up babbling to fill the silence when home alone with a newborn and I LOVED those chubby legs. We actually stopped any reference to anyone's weight in the house around 8 months because I am conscious of my body dysphoria and don't want to pass that on. I think it would be different with a toddler or older since they have an image of self.

[Alisamer]

5 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I also think it is cultural, because prams/bassinet strollers where the baby lays flat are pretty rare here. 

Yeah literally the ONLY time I have ever seen a pram where the baby lies flat, outside of an antique store, is at doll collecting events where reborn owners abound. Real babies, and often even doll babies, get reclining seats but not flat ones in the US, generally. I've never seen a real baby in a pram. (OK, wait, I remembered one. I think there's some photo of Melania Trump and baby Barron with him in some fancy gilded pram, maybe. But I'm positive that was just decorative and she wasn't taking him out for strolls in her 4-inch stiletto heels and designer cocktail dress.)

I HAVE seen double strollers where one kid is behind the other, that might lie flat when only one kid is in it, but that's more of a "napping while the older kid is on the playground" situation than a "strolling" situation. 

Do parents still put those fabric things in the carseat with a stuffed roll that goes around behind the baby's head so they don't flop over too far? I know those were a common thing when I was working daycare, for the youngest babies.

[wastingcandles]

5 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

Yeah, I remember being told not to use a bumbo before 4 months or put them in a high chair. but anything that supported the back like a bouncy chair, stroller or even the booster was fine. Anything that allowed them to be more reclined than sitting. You can see that the stroller is clicked into position where it’s doing most of the work supporting Zade. 
 

i also think it is cultural, because prams/bassinet strollers where the baby lays flat are pretty rare here. 

My mom is a wonderful early childhood professional, and has always stayed away from bumbo seats, particularly in the early months. This is because she is a big proponent for RIE (resources for infant educarers) and has passed that on to me. RIE encourages letting the baby be free from "containers" as much as possible and allowing them to maneuver themselves into different positions at their own developmental pace. I do think they make bumbo-esque seats that put the baby's legs at a different angle now, supposed to be better for their posture. Learning about this perspective has been super interesting, personally! 

I'm currently pregnant (in America), and we purchased a pram style stroller that converts to a standard stroller when baby is older. There were only a few options for this but we like the idea of it!

[CarrotCake]

5 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

Yeah, I remember being told not to use a bumbo before 4 months or put them in a high chair. but anything that supported the back like a bouncy chair, stroller or even the booster was fine. Anything that allowed them to be more reclined than sitting. You can see that the stroller is clicked into position where it’s doing most of the work supporting Zade. 
 

i also think it is cultural, because prams/bassinet strollers where the baby lays flat are pretty rare here. 

Oh wow I never realized that.

Over here everybody is using the bassinet up until the baby does not fit anymore (around 5/6 months). 

[CanadianMamam]

2 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Oh wow I never realized that.

Over here everybody is using the bassinet up until the baby does not fit anymore (around 5/6 months). 

Yeah, I think it is just one of those cultural difference. Here most people have bucket car seats where you can carry the baby around in and then snap into place in the car and they also snap into most strollers, so most people with small babies will use that or a baby wrap..baby wearing is very common, by my third, we had gotten rid of our stroller and I just wore her. 

[CarrotCake]

9 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

Yeah, I think it is just one of those cultural difference. Here most people have bucket car seats where you can carry the baby around in and then snap into place in the car and they also snap into most strollers, so most people with small babies will use that or a baby wrap..baby wearing is very common, by my third, we had gotten rid of our stroller and I just wore her. 

We have those car seats too but are being told that until they can sit up by themselves they should not be in there longer than 2 hours. 
I like babywearing too but for the longer walks I prefer a stroller. The bassinet is also nice because you can use it as a crib as well. Baby could sleep in there when visiting our parents.

[displayname]

I had a stroller that converted from one style to the other and my kid hated it. She just likes to be held, even three years on (it was one of the reasons I started weight training, I was tired of having dead noodle arms all the time lol). My MIL, who gifted us the stroller, for some reason took it as personal insult from my newborn🙄

 

[CanadianMamam]

2 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

We have those car seats too but are being told that until they can sit up by themselves they should not be in there longer than 2 hours. 
I like babywearing too but for the longer walks I prefer a stroller. The bassinet is also nice because you can use it as a crib as well. Baby could sleep in there when visiting our parents.

Oh wow. I mean, we often took road trips longer than 2 hours, so that defintiely wouldn't have worked. My daughter's trips to the children's hospital (she had a heart condition) was 2.5 hours. We live in a very car-dependent area where long car trips are a fact of life. 

Both sets of parents had cribs and we had a portable playpen, so we never had to consider a bassinet stroller (and I would have hated to get it up and down stairs at either house). 

[Keys]

4 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Yeah literally the ONLY time I have ever seen a pram where the baby lies flat, outside of an antique store, is at doll collecting events where reborn owners abound. Real babies, and often even doll babies, get reclining seats but not flat ones in the US, generally. I've never seen a real baby in a pram. (OK, wait, I remembered one. I think there's some photo of Melania Trump and baby Barron with him in some fancy gilded pram, maybe. But I'm positive that was just decorative and she wasn't taking him out for strolls in her 4-inch stiletto heels and designer cocktail dress.)

I HAVE seen double strollers where one kid is behind the other, that might lie flat when only one kid is in it, but that's more of a "napping while the older kid is on the playground" situation than a "strolling" situation. 

Do parents still put those fabric things in the carseat with a stuffed roll that goes around behind the baby's head so they don't flop over too far? I know those were a common thing when I was working daycare, for the youngest babies.

I’m in Canada and currently pregnant, and we just bought a Graco travel system (car seat + stroller)… the stroller has 3 options - you can clip the bucket seat into it, you can have it be a pram style, or you can make it an upright seat. I joined a Facebook group for car seat safety, and they said babe shouldn’t really be in the bucket seat for prolonged periods, so to use the pram option for going on walks. They also said those head rolls aren’t safety tested and shouldn’t be used. I didn’t know that - we had one on our registry and I took it off after learning that  

[CarrotCake]

9 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

Oh wow. I mean, we often took road trips longer than 2 hours, so that defintiely wouldn't have worked. My daughter's trips to the children's hospital (she had a heart condition) was 2.5 hours. We live in a very car-dependent area where long car trips are a fact of life. 

Both sets of parents had cribs and we had a portable playpen, so we never had to consider a bassinet stroller (and I would have hated to get it up and down stairs at either house). 

It is then advised here to take a break halfway the trip and let them out for a while. But in my country 2,5 hours brings you halfway the country so it’s definitely different 😅

You can take the bassinet off the stroller (and replace it for car seat or the sitting-up thing) so you just have to carry the top part up which weighs nothing.

 

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

On 6/3/2022 at 5:41 PM, CarrotCake said:

He is such a cute chubby baby, at two months he weighs te same as my 6month old. I wish my baby was a bit more squishy 😬

 

I have a skinny baby too. Everyone said he'd get bigger when he started solids and he did! Went from 3rd to 10th percentile at his 9 month appointment. He looks so chubby to me though he's objectively still skinny 🤣

 

All that to say, they're perfect at whatever size.

13 hours ago, Keys said:

I’m in Canada and currently pregnant, and we just bought a Graco travel system (car seat + stroller)… the stroller has 3 options - you can clip the bucket seat into it, you can have it be a pram style, or you can make it an upright seat. I joined a Facebook group for car seat safety, and they said babe shouldn’t really be in the bucket seat for prolonged periods, so to use the pram option for going on walks. They also said those head rolls aren’t safety tested and shouldn’t be used. I didn’t know that - we had one on our registry and I took it off after learning that  

Congrats! My baby was definitely more comfortable in the pram than the bucket seat on walks. But he only used the bassinet on the stroller for 2-3 months before it didn't fit. And he's small!

[CarrotCake]

5 hours ago, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

I have a skinny baby too. Everyone said he'd get bigger when he started solids and he did! Went from 3rd to 10th percentile at his 9 month appointment. He looks so chubby to me though he's objectively still skinny 🤣

Haha I suspect something like that is happening too. We are on holiday now and it feels like he is gaining weight everyday. Eating more solids now (before it was just tasting) and I also feel like I am breastfeeding non-stop.

I think he thinks he is in some all-inclusive resort 🤣 after the holiday I will stop breastfeeding so I suspect that changing to formula will also add some weight.

I am really curious about his 7 month appointment

[JermajestyDuggar]

Admission: I hated hated hated the constant recommendations for infants. It was fucking overwhelming. Plus sometimes they contradicted each other. It just makes the newborn stage more anxiety inducing. I wish there wasn’t a constant stream of advice from doctors, nurses, social media, family members,books, tv and so on. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Admission: I hated hated hated the constant recommendations for infants. It was fucking overwhelming. Plus sometimes they contradicted each other. It just makes the newborn stage more anxiety inducing. I wish there wasn’t a constant stream of advice from doctors, nurses, social media, family members,books, tv and so on. 

I wish I could tell new parents or those expectations a first child that a baby isn’t a baby for very long and all that fancy stuff really isn’t all that necessary. Just use your common sense, because most parents seeking information have already shown that they possess common sense and will most likely do the right things to keep a tiny human safe.  

[CanadianMamam]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Admission: I hated hated hated the constant recommendations for infants. It was fucking overwhelming. Plus sometimes they contradicted each other. It just makes the newborn stage more anxiety inducing. I wish there wasn’t a constant stream of advice from doctors, nurses, social media, family members,books, tv and so on. 

This.  Personal opinion, I hate car seat groups. I think there are some good tips bit a LOT of dear mongering and they also encourage people to harass other people, a lot of whom are just doing their best. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, CanadianMamam said:

This.  Personal opinion, I hate car seat groups. I think there are some good tips bit a LOT of dear mongering and they also encourage people to harass other people, a lot of whom are just doing their best. 

 

Honestly, all of those groups can get really out of hand. The online cloth diapering groups, breast feeding groups, car seat groups, crunchy groups, all of it. Because eventually, most of them end up becoming an echo chamber and run out any dissenting opinions. I prefer places where people can talk respectfully with each other and disagree openly. 

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

I guess I'm pandemic parenting wrong but I am in no groups except my local moms group and they just give away a lot of kid stuff. It's great! But yeah, everyone has opinions, even random old ladies at the grocery store.

[Keys]

Maybe I lucked out with this one, but I’ve actually found it super helpful! It’s Canadian and it’s run by car seat safety technicians. People post pictures of their kids/babies in seats and ask if everything looks okay, mainly. Or ask for seat advice for certain cars they have. I’d asked about opinions on two seats we were considering, and the feedback was incredibly helpful for someone like me who knew nothing about car seats before joining. I’ve thankfully never seen anyone get shamed at all - it’s been super respectful. 
 

That being said, I don’t think I would feel inclined to join big general mom groups, and certainly no “crunchy” groups, haha. I am part of a couple groups for moms who specifically work in the healthcare field I’m in, and they’ve been great for commiserating and sharing evidence-based information (which is thankfully also the nature of our field). I’m very content with that, haha. 

[Jackie3]

On 6/8/2022 at 3:35 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Because eventually, most of them end up becoming an echo chamber and run out any dissenting opinions. I prefer places where people can talk respectfully with each other and disagree openly. 

Me too!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I often think in person mom groups are less judgy and extreme than online. When people are hidden behind a screen name, they say things they normally wouldn’t say to someone face to face. 

[CanadianMamam]

I liked the smaller, more personal groups. When I had my first, I was.part of a big bay board and there were birth month groups, mine ended up as a small FB group (about 30 of is) and those women became lifelong friends of mine. 11 years later, I love them dearly. A lot of us were in the same area and able to meet in person, which helped. 

[just_ordinary]

On 6/7/2022 at 8:41 AM, CarrotCake said:

I definitely do not want to mom shame here but I am just curious because I am dealing with my first baby. I see Carlin has Zade already sitting up in the stroller while my 6 month old is still mainly in flat position because I am being told that they cannot sit up too long until they can sit by themselves. It is supposed to be bad for their backs. 
I am wondering if I am being too cautious or if maybe advice is different in the US then here.

 

Here the general recommendation (doctors, midwives…) is to have them lay flat till they can sit up by themselves. So no bouncer, not too much time in the car seat (which can often clip into the pram with adapters), no buggy for a (long) time. It’s supposed to be bad for their backs and potentially stunt their development because those positions don’t engage the muscles and restrict their movements. You can always hold them upright or have them „sit“ on your lap though. Most babies will get annoyed by laying flat in the pram around 6 months so most parents will put them in the buggy earlier. The „not too much time“ in the car seat is probably the most followed recommendation. People will transfer the baby from seat to pram a lot. 

I think everyone needs to make certain decisions for themselves (like front facing as soon as allowed vs as long as possible). Thankfully it seems you get much less judged when you talk to family and friends than reading the internet.