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Erin & Chad 9: The Paine of it All


samurai_sarah

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On 6/2/2022 at 6:21 AM, WiseGirl said:

I just wanted to say how much I like this line. And soeculate if JRod will find a reason to visit the Paines when she is on one of her excursions to Florida. 

She could try to go to Chad's and Erin's new church. The speculation bus is moving toward their new church being more extreme and fundie than the church they currently go to or the churches her sisters go to. 

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I watched Erin's newest YouTube video and there was interesting tidbit, Brooklyn commented that she is going to swim with her bunny in the pool and Erin commented that she didn't think the bunny would enjoy that. So their new house is going to have a pool? Seems like it is going to be a big upgrade from their tiny cottage. 

She also mentioned that they will be taking all of their animals except the pigs because they wouldn't enjoy the Florida weather and they have friends who are going to adopt them. 

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1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

I watched Erin's newest YouTube video and there was interesting tidbit, Brooklyn commented that she is going to swim with her bunny in the pool and Erin commented that she didn't think the bunny would enjoy that. So their new house is going to have a pool? Seems like it is going to be a big upgrade from their tiny cottage. 

She also mentioned that they will be taking all of their animals except the pigs because they wouldn't enjoy the Florida weather and they have friends who are going to adopt them. 

It's also possible there's a community pool, or a pool in their development.

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33 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

It's also possible there's a community pool, or a pool in their development.

They are bringing ducks, goats and rabbits to Florida (plus a dog and a hamster and possibly other animals) and getting chickens, I feel they will not be in a development. 

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Hope those kids have or will shortly get basic water safety skills!

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1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

They are bringing ducks, goats and rabbits to Florida (plus a dog and a hamster and possibly other animals) and getting chickens, I feel they will not be in a development. 

Also they seemed to want land, which you generally dont' get in a development.

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1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Hope those kids have or will shortly get basic water safety skills!

I’d be surprised if any of the kids have any water safety skills. 

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On 6/5/2022 at 6:44 PM, CanadianMamam said:

I watched Erin's newest YouTube video and there was interesting tidbit, Brooklyn commented that she is going to swim with her bunny in the pool and Erin commented that she didn't think the bunny would enjoy that. So their new house is going to have a pool? Seems like it is going to be a big upgrade from their tiny cottage. 

She also mentioned that they will be taking all of their animals except the pigs because they wouldn't enjoy the Florida weather and they have friends who are going to adopt them. 

Pools are basically a dime a dozen in Florida - so much so that I wouldn't even consider it a luxury feature. I'm actually more surprised when I encounter a home there without a pool there!  I'm from a southeast state, but my husband and I both went to college in FL. We first lived in an apartment, but it had a pool. We then moved into a small rental house, and even that small rental house had a pool. My mom lives in FL and even her modest 2 bedroom house has a pool. 

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59 minutes ago, LillyP said:

Pools are basically a dime a dozen in Florida - so much so that I wouldn't even consider it a luxury feature. I'm actually more surprised when I encounter a home there without a pool there!  I'm from a southeast state, but my husband and I both went to college in FL. We first lived in an apartment, but it had a pool. We then moved into a small rental house, and even that small rental house had a pool. My mom lives in FL and even her modest 2 bedroom house has a pool. 

When I was growing up, my great grandpa had a home in Florida. This was the 80s. His house was nice and he even had a full guest house where we would stay. But for some reason he never had a pool. I bet if I looked up that house now, it would have a pool in the back yard. 

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Growing up in Florida, I had no idea that pools were a sign of wealth.  Because it's true- it seems that everyone has a pool or a community pool at least.  I actually hate it for liability and safety reasons, but it would hurt resale value to not have a pool.

And if a house is for sale that does not have a pool, the listing usually states if it's possible to add a pool.  

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I'm going to be a BEC right now, but Erin always seemed really holier than thou to me. When she posts about her friends, its about "this girl never has a bad word to say about others" and the whole inspiration cards she and Chad are doing with biblical quotes, its always about how godly they are trying to seem.  Even within the fundie community, I bet that gets old.  I remember the girls sniping at each other years ago in the United States of Bates show, Tori very loudly telling Michaela not to do something and a lot of worshiping at the alter of Erin by their parents.  I think it may not be peaches and cream with the sisters.  

Josie reminds me more of the Carlin/Whitney/Katie crew but I think that Josie's husband's relationship with Bobbie is going to keep her close with Tori who is Erin's self-proclaimed "bestie" which will keep them together.  Josie and Katie are very close.  I think take Kelton out of the picture and Josie isn't as close with Tori/Erin

 

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On 6/7/2022 at 10:44 AM, MomJeans said:

Growing up in Florida, I had no idea that pools were a sign of wealth.  Because it's true- it seems that everyone has a pool or a community pool at least.  I actually hate it for liability and safety reasons, but it would hurt resale value to not have a pool.

And if a house is for sale that does not have a pool, the listing usually states if it's possible to add a pool.  

My cousin in Arizona has a pool, everyone seems to. Growing  up in the Midwest, we had an in ground pool. We weren't wealthy, we had the money from when my grandparents died and decided to build one. I do think we were the only people in our town with an in ground pool though. 

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2 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I'm going to be a BEC right now, but Erin always seemed really holier than thou to me. When she posts about her friends, its about "this girl never has a bad word to say about others" and the whole inspiration cards she and Chad are doing with biblical quotes, its always about how godly they are trying to seem.  Even within the fundie community, I bet that gets old.  I remember the girls sniping at each other years ago in the United States of Bates show, Tori very loudly telling Michaela not to do something and a lot of worshiping at the alter of Erin by their parents.  I think it may not be peaches and cream with the sisters.  

Josie reminds me more of the Carlin/Whitney/Katie crew but I think that Josie's husband's relationship with Bobbie is going to keep her close with Tori who is Erin's self-proclaimed "bestie" which will keep them together.  Josie and Katie are very close.  I think take Kelton out of the picture and Josie isn't as close with Tori/Erin

 

Josie and Katie are close but Josie doesn't seem remotely close to Carlin or Whitney and there seems to be some defintiely distance  with her and Alyssa. It is funny because those are.the sisters who were in her wedding party. 

So I think Josie and Katie are close but otherwise are close to different sets of sisters.  wonder if it was Josie's miscarriage and the. Her difficulties with Hazel that brought her closer to Erin? As Erin has experienced both miscarriage and difficult pregnancies, Tori is also likely a factor. 

Josie and Tori were the sisters that commented on Erin's move. I found it interesting Alyssa didn't, only because Erin is moving to Florida but I don't think they are particularly close. 

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4 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I'm going to be a BEC right now, but Erin always seemed really holier than thou to me. When she posts about her friends, its about "this girl never has a bad word to say about others" and the whole inspiration cards she and Chad are doing with biblical quotes, its always about how godly they are trying to seem.  Even within the fundie community, I bet that gets old.  I remember the girls sniping at each other years ago in the United States of Bates show, Tori very loudly telling Michaela not to do something and a lot of worshiping at the alter of Erin by their parents.  I think it may not be peaches and cream with the sisters.  

Josie reminds me more of the Carlin/Whitney/Katie crew but I think that Josie's husband's relationship with Bobbie is going to keep her close with Tori who is Erin's self-proclaimed "bestie" which will keep them together.  Josie and Katie are very close.  I think take Kelton out of the picture and Josie isn't as close with Tori/Erin

 

I was rewatching a few seasons recently. During Carlin's dress shopping, Erin made an offhand remark that she really loved the dress Carlin picked, but for herself (Erin), not Carlin. She said it a couple of times. And there are other examples. When they moved that beam in Josie/Kelton's place, I don't know that Erin was there. As the younger girls and Whitney seemed to get popular, it seems like Erin didn't necessarily handle that well. 
I think she wanted the show to hold her a vow renewal like for Zach and Whit. 
I think she wanted more say in the clothes the boutique sold.
I think she wanted more say in helping her siblings (or at least being asked). 

 

And I get it. So much of Erin's early life she was set apart and got special permission to play piano. She cut albums. She was really made to feel special. And while I'm sure Chad is great, and people love her, she's not getting the steady stream she's used to...

That's the really awful part of having more kids than you can handle, because the attention/time you have is never enough to help all of them grow up and be confident. Heck, it's hard to do that if you do have the time/attention.

(Just my two cents)


 

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5 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I'm going to be a BEC right now, but Erin always seemed really holier than thou to me. 

Oh, God, yes! She is so smug and insufferable. I feel as though she is a nice person inside, but she comes across with an attitude of self-satisfaction that is hard to watch.

I don't think she got a ton of special attention in her family. Maybe a little, for being attractive and good at piano. But this is a home with a constant stream of babies and small children. I'm sure she was called upon to do her part. There's so much to do in a family that huge, there is no way that one person would be exempt from working hard. All hands are needed. 

Perhaps for the TV cameras, they trotted out Erin and her piano abilities. But on a day to day basis, when no cameras were around, she was changing diapers and cleaning bathrooms like everyone else.

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8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Perhaps for the TV cameras, they trotted out Erin and her piano abilities. But on a day to day basis, when no cameras were around, she was changing diapers and cleaning bathrooms like everyone else.

In one of the episodes I just watched they said Erin had been allowed to skip some chores, like cooking or helping with homework because of the piano. I'll try to find it again.

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I don't notice the same divisions with the Bates boys that I see with the girls. Do any of you? 

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1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

I don't notice the same divisions with the Bates boys that I see with the girls. Do any of you? 

It is harder to tell because they aren't as active on social media. So they aren't competing in the same ways. 

Zach seems more distant from his brothers, just like Michael seems more removed from the fighting with the sisters. 

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On 6/13/2022 at 10:26 PM, GracieLou Free Duggar said:

In one of the episodes I just watched they said Erin had been allowed to skip some chores, like cooking or helping with homework because of the piano. I'll try to find it again.

At the Bates home, there were chores 24/7. Erin wanted to play the piano, so she couldn't be working nonstop like Michaela. So I believe she got to take time off to practice, but I don't believe she escaped a heavy workload. With a constant stream of babies, all those girls worked hard.

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I don't think it matters how much time Erin spent practicing the piano vs cleaning the house or changing diapers.  The perception of her sisters is more important in terms of any resentment.  If she practiced an hour a day (not unreasonable), that might be plenty to piss many of them off.  And same with any fussing over her talent.  If any of her sisters didn't have something to make them stand out that they got praise over, it could certainly make them feel as if she received much more attention.

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3 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I don't think it matters how much time Erin spent practicing the piano vs cleaning the house or changing diapers.  The perception of her sisters is more important in terms of any resentment.

Actually, I think it matters a lot. There's a big difference between being allowed to practice 12 hours as opposed to 1 hour per day.

It's good that Gil and Kelly gave Erin a chance to practice piano, if that was her passion. They didn't their decision get influenced by her sisters' opinions.  They didn't say, "No, Erin, you can't practice too much, because Tori and Alyssa feel mad about it." That would be terrible parenting.

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2 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Actually, I think it matters a lot. There's a big difference between being allowed to practice 12 hours as opposed to 1 hour per day.

It's good that Gil and Kelly gave Erin a chance to practice piano, if that was her passion. They didn't their decision get influenced by her sisters' opinions.  They didn't say, "No, Erin, you can't practice too much, because Tori and Alyssa feel mad about it." That would be terrible parenting.

But I do think that if one of the kids had a passion for drawing they would not be allowed to skip on chores for that.

Some talent and passion is more important to them than others. Which is also terrible parenting.

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1 hour ago, CarrotCake said:

Some talent and passion is more important to them than others. Which is also terrible parenting.

Exactly. I wonder if any of the children resent Lawson because Gil and Kelly really pushed his acting dream. They gave him time and money to build a shed to use in the Christian western videos he made, bought horses for him to use as props in his videos and pictures and drove him across the country to meet with a Christian movie director. 
 

They very much prioritized the dreams of certain children over the rest. My guess is that they pushed the passions and talents that they thought would bring in money that they would then be able to access.

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1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

Exactly. I wonder if any of the children resent Lawson because Gil and Kelly really pushed his acting dream. They gave him time and money to build a shed to use in the Christian western videos he made, bought horses for him to use as props in his videos and pictures and drove him across the country to meet with a Christian movie director. 
 

They very much prioritized the dreams of certain children over the rest. My guess is that they pushed the passions and talents that they thought would bring in money that they would then be able to access.

I have no doubt that Lawson paid for his own hobbies. He may be lazy now, but he definitely worked very hard as a teen. Lawson had the lawn business, in addition of the free work he did for Gil. No way Gil and Kelly spent a dollar on their children hobbies... They were parents who barely feed the kids and had no health insurance for them.

 

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In terms of their terrible parenting, it might matter. But you are arguing that Gil and Kelly didn't likely actually favor Erin that much. I agree she still probably did a ton of work, but there was enough favoring (while ignoring the rest) to create lifelong resentment issues in her sisters. Even a little extra attention can seem huge when there isn't enough to go around.

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