Erin & Chad 9: The Paine of it All

[Johannah]

On 5/24/2022 at 10:32 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was also thinking she could become fundier than her siblings. That’s the only change I’m imagining right now. 

I agree with this. I think Erin may be moving bc she is appalled by how mainstream Carlin and Whitney and co have become, creating false idols and being of the world and whatnot. 
 

I actually think their modernizing has made Erin dig in her heels and feel even more sanctimonious and self-righteous compared to those “false” Christians. I think she wants a move away from their influence on and interaction with her family. 
 

Alone in rural Florida, with only Chad’s IBLP relatives and a new fundie “church family,” my bet is Erin is going to dive deeper down the fundie sinkhole. 

[Jackie3]

15 hours ago, Johannah said:

I agree with this. I think Erin may be moving bc she is appalled by how mainstream Carlin and Whitney and co have become, creating false idols and being of the world and whatnot. 

Why doesn't she just see less of them? Wouldn't that be easier than moving?

Edited May 26, 2022 by Jackie3

[HereticHick]

I've found it curious for several years that, given Chad's (and his BILs) construction skills and their expanding family,  Chad and Erin didn't buy a fixer-upper in East Tennessee and start working on it. Makes me wonder if this move to Florida has been under consideration for a while.

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I've found it curious for several years that, given Chad's (and his BILs) construction skills and their expanding family,  Chad and Erin didn't buy a fixer-upper in East Tennessee and start working on it. Makes me wonder if this move to Florida has been under consideration for a while.

I guess I always figured Erin didn’t give a shit if her kids were cramped. Actually I don’t think she cares because their camper is way too small for a family of 7. But I could see them also considering a move for a little while before this. 

[nokidsmom]

On 5/24/2022 at 2:29 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I want to mention that fundies also go “sideways.” Meaning they go from one fundie group to another. There’s a reason the Pearls suck in a lot of ex Amish. Amish are a type of fundie and when they leave the Amish community, they are probably easy targets for other fundie groups. Erin could get sucked into another type of fundie. 

Catching up on other threads now that we know how long Joshley will be in the big house.   Interesting that Erin and Chad are moving to Florida and having relatives there, I know that area of central Florida is pretty conservative.    

I always felt Erin was going to stay fundie especially since Chad is also from the same background.    Never thought she would do a Jill Duggar, more likely she would go more fundie or stay the same in a similar fundie community, whether her hometown or elsewher.   So this move makes sense to me from that perspective.   What I do find surprising though is that she's moving away from most of her family.    Sure, Alyssa won't be far but this was the same person who supposedly did not want to move near her husband's family in OK when she married and stayed near her own.  Something must have changed there.  

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

this was the same person who supposedly did not want to move near her husband's family in OK when she married and stayed near her own.  Something must have changed there.  

It’s funny how even fundies can’t prevent this type of family change. When I got married, things didn’t change much in my family. But when I had kids, things changed dramatically. My own little family came first before my extended family. That happens in mainstream and fundie families. I’m guessing Erin made the change to put her own little family first. Like most people. But what I always find interesting in fundie communities is that these adult children come from highly controlling families. So how hard is it for the parents to let go? We know JB has a VERY hard time with that. I don’t know if Gil has a hard time letting go. But what Erin is doing isn’t out of the ordinary. 

[nokidsmom]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s funny how even fundies can’t prevent this type of family change. When I got married, things didn’t change much in my family. But when I had kids, things changed dramatically. My own little family came first before my extended family. That happens in mainstream and fundie families. I’m guessing Erin made the change to put her own little family first. Like most people. But what I always find interesting in fundie communities is that these adult children come from highly controlling families. So how hard is it for the parents to let go? We know JB has a VERY hard time with that. I don’t know if Gil has a hard time letting go. But what Erin is doing isn’t out of the ordinary. 

It is quite typical in any family but I can see in very controlling families where adult children making that choice is hard for parents to take.   My parents had a very hard time with my simply getting married and moving 25 miles away.   Not at all far but one would think I moved to the farthest end of the earth with the way they reacted.   It's hard to tell if Gil had or has difficulty with his adult kids moving away but I would not be surprised if he were.   He and Kelly were controlling parents and IME that doesn't change very easily if at all.  But they are able to keep things under wraps and present the more positive aspects of their family, some of it is media savvy but some of it might just be luck.  With JB having a hard time, well, the horse left that particular barn years ago.   Gil and Kelly have had nowhere near the negative publicity.  

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

I've found it curious for several years that, given Chad's (and his BILs) construction skills and their expanding family,  Chad and Erin didn't buy a fixer-upper in East Tennessee and start working on it. Makes me wonder if this move to Florida has been under consideration for a while.

They tried to buy a property, but the options were ugly houses. Erin was absolutely in love with her cute cottage and its landscape and no way she was moving to a less charming place. As @JermajestyDuggar says, Erin didn't care about her children sharing a mini bedroom.

Edited May 26, 2022 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[Jackie3]

9 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

They tried to buy a property, but the options were ugly houses. Erin was absolutely in love with her cute cottage and its landscape and no way she was moving to a less charming place. As @JermajestyDuggar says, Erin didn't care about her children sharing a mini bedroom.

I think Erin would've been delighted to move into a larger house, ugly or not (Chad can make it nice). I doubt she was turning down 3-BR houses because they didn't meet her aesthetic. I could be wrong, but don't they share a bathroom with five little children? That alone would make me want to move. I think there's a lot of inconvenience and discomfort that is inevitable when you share a small space with five small children, and she'd've been very happy to move to a larger space.

No, I think they didn't have much money because of all of Erin's medical expenses. I dont' think Chad believes in debt.

 

Edited May 26, 2022 by Jackie3

[formergothardite]

I feel like the show ending will change the family dynamic. The Bates never seemed like a deeply close family. They’ve been paid for years to show up for family events and put on a show of being this big, wonderful family. But now that is gone I wouldn’t be shocked if they all start drifting apart. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I feel like the show ending will change the family dynamic. The Bates never seemed like a deeply close family. They’ve been paid for years to show up for family events and put on a show of being this big, wonderful family. But now that is gone I wouldn’t be shocked if they all start drifting apart. 

I agree. They can be influencers or mommy bloggers anywhere in the US. And that seems to be what many want. I wouldn’t be surprised if more move away. Especially the boys who are currently young unmarried adults. One already travels a lot for work. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

5 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I feel like the show ending will change the family dynamic. The Bates never seemed like a deeply close family. They’ve been paid for years to show up for family events and put on a show of being this big, wonderful family. But now that is gone I wouldn’t be shocked if they all start drifting apart. 

There's also the idea that none of the Duggar girls actually seemed to be genuine friends beyond Jessa and Jinger, while the Bates have seemed to have actual real friends/cliques within the family.

With Erin moving to Florida, on the one hand I wouldn't be surprised to see her and Alyssa get closer, while on the other hand if the speculation above is correct and Carlin/Whitney/etc. are too worldly for her preferences, Alyssa and her short shorts are likely also too worldly.

Regardless as to what's going on with her family, I do agree with those saying that Erin is likely to become even more entrenched in the kool-aid just by virtue of region/surroundings.

We have to remember that even Jill Dillard is still steeped in it and seemingly retains 95%+ of her parents views. A nose piercing, pants, therapy, and condoms do not make a liberal.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I suppose Hannie and Jenny could be BFFs. They do seem to be together a lot. I feel like Jessa and Jinger’s friendship was just Jinger following everything Jessa said or did. And Jessa loved it. Now Jinger has a new self centered person to worship. 

Edited May 26, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[CanadianMamam]

17 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

There's also the idea that none of the Duggar girls actually seemed to be genuine friends beyond Jessa and Jinger, while the Bates have seemed to have actual real friends/cliques within the family.

With Erin moving to Florida, on the one hand I wouldn't be surprised to see her and Alyssa get closer, while on the other hand if the speculation above is correct and Carlin/Whitney/etc. are too worldly for her preferences, Alyssa and her short shorts are likely also too worldly.

 

 

Erin had been shown to hang out with Josie, more so after her rift with Carlin and Whitney, so I don't think pants are the source of the issue. Money/business issues are more likely.  Erin and Alyssa seem like they are on ok terms, not super close but maybe living close will help?

Carlin and Whitney recently implied that Erin leaving the boutique was at least partially Chad's decision and I feel like he is guiding this move as well. I also still wonder what lead his dad to leave the IBLP board.

Edited May 26, 2022 by CanadianMamam

[MomJeans]

FWIW, in my opinion, Alyssa is very "Florida Fundie".  You are much less likely to see frumpers here.  Shorts and tank tops prevail- it's hot and humid.  Erin is going to be surrounded by a lot of people that dress like Alyssa, no matter how conservative her circle is in Brooksville.  I would guess that Erin and Alyssa will naturally see one another more.

[Smoochie]

As others have said, I think it was more than Carlin & Whitney not dressing modestly enough. She claims to be close to Lawson & Trace and their girlfriends are anything but modest!  I don't think she and Alyssa will be all that close either, even with a closer proximity, although stranger things have happened.

[eljayem]

My speculation is that the rift was caused by Paine Construction. Chad was putting in a lot of work for the Boutique, as they grew they kept needing bigger and bigger spaces and Chad was the one putting in the work to make that happen. The Boutique might have paid for the building supplies but I bet at the beginning he was giving his time for free. The last iteration, before they moved to the commercial property was either a whole new shed/warehouse on Whitney and Zach's property, or at the least a massive renovation of an existing shed, I remember UP showing clips of Chad (and Trace?) cutting out bits of wall etc for windows. So that was also giving Whitney/Zach added value to their property asset.

I just think something happened for example Chad asking for remuneration for his time, i.e. switching to a client/business relationship and that not being handled well. Might have been that Whitney, Zach and Carlin realised it made better business sense to rent a commercial property than pay for a bespoke warehouse on private property. If this is right Chad might have ended up feeling taken for granted, This would have hurt Erin, and everyone involved felt prickly about the money side of things then Carlin out of the 5 involved is the least diplomatic (and the youngest) probably shot her mouth off and as they say once something is said you can't take it back.

[CaptainFunderpants]

3 hours ago, eljayem said:

*snip* Carlin out of the 5 involved is the least diplomatic (and the youngest) probably shot her mouth off and as they say once something is said you can't take it back.

Ooooh, I am all aboard your entire ISB, and I think the Carlin bit in particular makes perfect sense as to being the final nail in the coffin.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I've think that Erin and Chad found a church, presumably one that shares their beliefs. I suspect they'll have a lot of church friends. 

50 minutes is close enough they can be there for each other and see each other more, but it seems to far to hang out regularly.

Edited May 27, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, MomJeans said:

FWIW, in my opinion, Alyssa is very "Florida Fundie".  You are much less likely to see frumpers here.  Shorts and tank tops prevail- it's hot and humid.  Erin is going to be surrounded by a lot of people that dress like Alyssa, no matter how conservative her circle is in Brooksville.  I would guess that Erin and Alyssa will naturally see one another more.

It’s like PPs church. It’s hot in Phoenix so tank tops and even breastfeeding without a cover in church is totally fine for them. I have a feeling that if PP had a church in Wisconsin, it might not be as relaxed about that. 

[Bobology]

When Zach/Whitney sold their house with the boutique building (are they already living in their house that was having a lot of renovation done or are they still in the house with the boutique building?) or when they DO sell the house with the boutique building, I wonder how any extra sale price they got/get will be given to the business? Having that building on their property certainly enhanced the property value. Do any of them have enough business savvy to have drawn up any finances/contract about the ownership of that building or financial interest in it? That could all be tricky.

 

[llucie]

18 minutes ago, Bobology said:

When Zach/Whitney sold their house with the boutique building (are they already living in their house that was having a lot of renovation done or are they still in the house with the boutique building?) or when they DO sell the house with the boutique building, I wonder how any extra sale price they got/get will be given to the business? Having that building on their property certainly enhanced the property value. Do any of them have enough business savvy to have drawn up any finances/contract about the ownership of that building or financial interest in it? That could all be tricky.

 

They already sold the house. They lived for months on the Bates parents house while they renovated the new one and finally moved to their new house a couple months ago, although it is still under-construction.

[neuroticcat]

More speculation! Does anyone know the timing of the suspected breach? I was thinking about this in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, because why not, right? I know so many extended families had splits over COVID responses. Could it be that after having such long COVID issues, the Paine's took COVID response more seriously and couldn't be around the casual Bates atmosphere? Or were the Paine's still at all the events unmasked, etc. after Erin was well?

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

More speculation! Does anyone know the timing of the suspected breach? I was thinking about this in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, because why not, right? I know so many extended families had splits over COVID responses. Could it be that after having such long COVID issues, the Paine's took COVID response more seriously and couldn't be around the casual Bates atmosphere? Or were the Paine's still at all the events unmasked, etc. after Erin was well?

I think Erin has still gone to big events. Like NesterBates wedding. And I believe she was there for Christmas and I Love You day. 

Edited May 27, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[neuroticcat]

Okay, nevermind then.