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Erin & Chad 9: The Paine of it All


samurai_sarah

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39 minutes ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Do we actually know Chad wanted her to leave BSB and youtube and that he's the driving force to move?  Or is this just all ISB?

I’ve spent time analyzing the situation and it’s speculated but I strongly believe it & this new video of Chad announcing slowing down on YT before she’s about to hit 100k followers only strengthens the theory for me.

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Too bad his big ego might be limiting his family’s security, physical, mental and financial health.

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1 hour ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Do we actually know Chad wanted her to leave BSB and youtube and that he's the driving force to move?  Or is this just all ISB?

In the youtube video he is the one saying they are taking a break until further notice and that family is more important than yt, while Erin mentions that people can left comments with ideas for future videos on what they want to see. It is a very short video but the impression i get is that she wants to continue with her channel and he doesnt. 

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34 minutes ago, llucie said:

In the youtube video he is the one saying they are taking a break until further notice and that family is more important than yt, while Erin mentions that people can left comments with ideas for future videos on what they want to see. It is a very short video but the impression i get is that she wants to continue with her channel and he doesnt. 

I found it very sad and I think he should encourage Erin in her interests like the other sisters’ husbands do. Erin wanted to keep going on and saying, “list your ideas of what you’d like to see in the comments below or if you want to see anything at all” and Chad say that they’d be off “until further notice”. 

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2 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Do we actually know Chad wanted her to leave BSB and youtube and that he's the driving force to move?  Or is this just all ISB?

Carlin and Whitney implied in a Q&A that Chad had some part in Erin leaving. 

Edited by CanadianMamam
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Erin has always rubbed me the wrong way, I think because she comes across as very holier than though? It’s really interesting to see the family dynamics and the shift that’s happened recently… I wonder what happened. 

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1 hour ago, Keys said:

Erin has always rubbed me the wrong way, I think because she comes across as very holier than though? It’s really interesting to see the family dynamics and the shift that’s happened recently… I wonder what happened. 

Now, I think part of why Erin is so snobby is because she resents that Chad doesn’t support her independence like the husbands of her other sisters’ support them in being YT influencers. So, I think she does it to try to feel better & justifies it as being a “better” mom/wife by not being on “social media” as much like she has talked about before.

Edited by luv2laugh
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Also another pet peeve, modesty. So Erin doesn’t wear pants, yet sports full face/eye makeup in every photo, video, YouTube she posts.  How is that modest? How does that not draw attention from men, women, children ? How is attracting attention to your look or countenance modest? 

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4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

How is attracting attention to your look or countenance modest? 

From what I gather, the idea is that as long as men look at your face, they're not looking at your boobs. Which I guess makes sense in a weird, nonsensical way...

Edited by Nothing if not critical
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16 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

From what I gather, the idea is that as long as men look at your face, they're not looking at your boobs. Which I guess makes sense in a weird, nonsensical way...

Gothard always said you should bring attention to your countenance. Which is your face. So you can show off your face and hair all you want. But you better not wear a tight shirt! 

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56 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Gothard always said you should bring attention to your countenance. Which is your face. So you can show off your face and hair all you want. But you better not wear a tight shirt! 

It goes without saying Gothard is a complete weirdo. However, does he really think people look at and are attracted to body parts vs a face, brain or personality? Like women are assessing crotches over faces, brains or personalities? Good Lord!

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9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

It goes without saying Gothard is a complete weirdo. However, does he really think people look at and are attracted to body parts vs a face, brain or personality? Like women are assessing crotches over faces, brains or personalities? Good Lord!

Right? Lips are incredibly erotic. Wearing lipstick draws attention to lips. Wouldn’t that make a man think of French kissing and oral sex? 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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Chad and Erin were the ones who had a special cake for Gothard at their wedding so not entirely surprising that Chad's the most gothardy husband.

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My personal take on the current state of Chad & Erin, and I may be sliding my very evangelical hat back on for a moment here. I honestly suspect that in the whole realm of miscarriage and all the stuff with her ovaries and what have you instead of getting more main stream they double down on religion.  Not just him or her but both of them.  And I may wonder if the BSB issue was act Tied to Erin feeling convicted spiritually about devoting time to it and nit to her family and God.  That she/they declared it too worldly.  
 

The video this week almost had a feel of “if the house fell through were we really supposed to move and now we need to step back and re reevaluate our choices” (and the people being left behind)

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2 minutes ago, clueliss said:

My personal take on the current state of Chad & Erin, and I may be sliding my very evangelical hat back on for a moment here. I honestly suspect that in the whole realm of miscarriage and all the stuff with her ovaries and what have you instead of getting more main stream they double down on religion.  Not just him or her but both of them.  And I may wonder if the BSB issue was act Tied to Erin feeling convicted spiritually about devoting time to it and nit to her family and God.  That she/they declared it too worldly.  
 

The video this week almost had a feel of “if the house fell through were we really supposed to move and now we need to step back and re reevaluate our choices” (and the people being left behind)

I’m so glad I don’t live that way. What an exhausting and sad existence. 

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Chad is fast becoming my least favorite Bates husband and I definitely think he is the most fundie (except maybe Brandon).

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It's also possible that Chad feels that Erin is pushing herself to do too many things at once when they have 5 small children, lots of animals, and very little free time.  Spending hours every week editing content for YT channel on top of feeding animals, mucking out stalls/cages and taking care of littles is probably pushing her past her physical boundaries.  And she was the one with long COVID.  She is probably exhausted mentally and physically, with all good reasons, and maintaining a well manicured YT channel is the thing that has to go on the back burner.  

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15 minutes ago, JMO said:

It's also possible that Chad feels that Erin is pushing herself to do too many things at once when they have 5 small children, lots of animals, and very little free time.  Spending hours every week editing content for YT channel on top of feeding animals, mucking out stalls/cages and taking care of littles is probably pushing her past her physical boundaries.  And she was the one with long COVID.  She is probably exhausted mentally and physically, with all good reasons, and maintaining a well manicured YT channel is the thing that has to go on the back burner.  

Just like when you have kids, when you have livestock, taking care of them is not optional. It doesn't matter whether you are sick, tired, or scared of going out in whiteout (due to blizzard conditions) it has to get done. I remember one night, when my partner was traveling, I felt so sick that I took a cell phone to bed with me, because I wasn't sure I would be well enough to get out of bed and feed the companion animals and horses in the morning. This was before cell phones were a common thing and wireless house phones were just catching on. I am glad I don't have to worry about that anymore, though I am backup for one of my friends who lives nearby and does still have livestock.

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28 minutes ago, JMO said:

It's also possible that Chad feels that Erin is pushing herself to do too many things at once when they have 5 small children, lots of animals, and very little free time.  Spending hours every week editing content for YT channel on top of feeding animals, mucking out stalls/cages and taking care of littles is probably pushing her past her physical boundaries.  And she was the one with long COVID.  She is probably exhausted mentally and physically, with all good reasons, and maintaining a well manicured YT channel is the thing that has to go on the back burner.  

Have you considered that perhaps Chad should help her out more instead of telling her to get back to the kitchen?

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Just now, luv2laugh said:

Have you considered that perhaps Chad should help her out more instead of telling her to get back to the kitchen?

Honestly, based on what we've seen he is one of the more helpful husbands in fundie land.  I don't know if he's still working but he took over a lot when she had long COVID and seems to pitch in a lot now.  Of course, everything is what they show us, but all those bodies to care for is a lot for 2 people.  And especially since there seems to be friction with some of her family there doesn't seem to be a supply of willing family members to help out. 

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1 hour ago, JMO said:

It's also possible that Chad feels that Erin is pushing herself to do too many things at once when they have 5 small children, lots of animals, and very little free time.  Spending hours every week editing content for YT channel on top of feeding animals, mucking out stalls/cages and taking care of littles is probably pushing her past her physical boundaries.  And she was the one with long COVID.  She is probably exhausted mentally and physically, with all good reasons, and maintaining a well manicured YT channel is the thing that has to go on the back burner.  

It should be Erin’s choice on whether or not she feels she’s crossing her boundaries—- not Chad telling her what to do.

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During the last few years, Erin has had health problems, even before her hard covid case. Meanwhile, she seemed to have Chad as a servant and Bates seemed to take profit of his work. Many comments in this forum were "he has to man up, he has to stop, he has to put boundaries, poor Chad". Well, maybe he is doing it now. Maybe he realised that the kids need privacy or that Erin isn't focusing in healing or whatever. A YT channel takes a lot of time and effort, plus 5 kids plus animals, plus homeschooling plus home chores, Bible time, etc. As far as we know, Chad does chores, but he also works long hours, so I'm not sure he could homeschool.

I mean... Chad is a fundie and probably sexist AF. So he may be just another toxic husband trying to isolate his wife. But his behaviour for years has been the opposite. Maybe he is pushing Erin to leave YT because YT is actually bad for them.

Another theory I have is that Erin has reinforced the fundamentalist way of life, in order to feel holier than her "mainstream" sisters. She and Chad had been going to Christian events for couples etc. I wonder if those events, new friends etc have convinced Chad to become fundier and more bossy, and now Erin is paying the consequences.

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She says Tori is her best friend and Tori stays off social media for the most part. Maybe she’s following her lead? 

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