Harry & Meghan 9: Pretending to Be Relevant

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[just_ordinary]

Thanks for the new thread and the great title @Coconut Flan

As I said, H is not alone in loosing a parent of being exposed to death. But he is pretty alone walking behind a coffin for 34 minutes through London with not just some funeral guests watching you but thousands of strangers. Thousands of people crying over your mother, wanting to touch you, talking about her, expressing their own grief - as if their grief would help or matter. It was an abomination of mass hysteria. That’s the only part where I cut him slack. It’s ok to not ever really get over the death of a loved one. It’s ok to be in and out of therapy about this for a long time or ever. It’s definitely ok to suffer from effects of this walk.

What is not ok, is to want the cake and eat it. Both, Wiliam and Harry, have very consciously used their tragic story to gather sympathy or deflect criticism. William has mostly stopped, but Harry still wheels her out to elevate his persona and narrative. That’s not grief, that’s plain manipulation. He uses it to get his way or sell his point of view. Is there anything about him that stems from him, where he is not the victim/martyr? I mean, we had the charming hero Prince, but that persona is gone and it seems it was not really a big part of his real character because he hasn’t been able to maintain the traits. Now, he is either cheated on by everyone, Diana’s son or mentally fragile because of his childhood all while gloriously fighting for his family and the world. Whoever sold him this public persona as his best course of action made a massive mistake. Something seems to go very wrong for him and his claims seem to edge on paranoia sometimes (and I don’t talk about „hiding“ the kids. Long term watchers always suspected him to act much more severe than Wiliam. I am actually surprised we have gotten those public photos since they moved).

And I agree, that he will use Invictus for Netflix. Which is a shame in terms of the promises they made. It might be good for the games though. But that’s the second time, they would use it because they couldn’t bring anything else to the table.

And what exactly is Meghan doing? Not producing content for Netflix or Spotify it seems. Are they still on parental leave? Or just she? It has she decided to only appear from time to time to speak out or get an award? I mean, that’s fine. If you have the money why not. But then stop selling the highly involved and productive stick.

[nokidsmom]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

What is not ok, is to want the cake and eat it. Both, Wiliam and Harry, have very consciously used their tragic story to gather sympathy or deflect criticism. William has mostly stopped, but Harry still wheels her out to elevate his persona and narrative. That’s not grief, that’s plain manipulation. He uses it to get his way or sell his point of view. Is there anything about him that stems from him, where he is not the victim/martyr? 

This is the part that bothers me about Harry.  William too, but Harry has and is playing it up a lot more, agree on that.   While it's fine to share his story and yes, what happened was truly tragic, it still remains there's a time and place for everything.  It's one thing to talk about it in certain contexts, such as in a personal interview, memorials, etc. and entirely another to just wheel out the story in the face of things where there's no real relevance, it's just to get people to react a certain way.   And as much as people may sympathize, people will get tired of the constant "woe is me" approach and I think we are seeing this with Harry.   William may have stopped because he realized he was overdoing it, but who knows.  

I have mentioned my ex-fiance from college on here a few times.  He lost his mother as a child.   He did wheel out the tragic story whenever possible, not just to me but, well, to anyone:  teachers, students, administration alike.  After a point it did get to feel more like manipulation than grief.  I had no doubt his grief was real, but at the same time it had become sort of a crutch for him and not in a healthy way.   I think he did it because it got people to treat him better, avoid criticism, and just overall get his way.

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Now, he is either cheated on by everyone, Diana’s son or mentally fragile because of his childhood all while gloriously fighting for his family and the world. Whoever sold him this public persona as his best course of action made a massive mistake.

I don't know where he is getting this from.  If this is his PR team, if he has one, it's not a good idea.  I am not a mental health professional but to me, continuing to publicly list out the tragedies, the unfairness, how he is victimized, etc. seems to be like reliving these things somehow.   That's just the sense I get and it's not a healthy thing so if this approach is coming from a therapist, wonder if it's time to find a new one, assuming he is currently seeing one.

 

[Four is Enough]

I have a friend who lost her mother several years ago. She talks about her a lot, but she talks stories about her. It keeps her alive more than       asks for pity. It never seems like manipulation. There is a big difference between the way she talks about her mother and the way harry talks about his.

 

[Coconut Flan]

I think this fits:  

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/18/health/prolonged-grief-disorder.html

I knew a family where one member never got over her mother's death.  I also knew her sister her was steadily of the opinion the forever grieving sister was a cracked pot and permanently damaged.  She was the only member of the family who remained stuck.  

[just_ordinary]

I don’t know. It is mostly diagnosed in older men and there is almost no data on children and teens- the age group his disorder would stem from. And he seems to do just fine in taking part in social and other activities. So to me he doesn’t fit the profile. 
I get grieving over the period of time. That’s ok, if it doesn’t hinder you to build a life. H is doing ok and has been doing better in the past in this regard. But he definitely developed some paranoia regarding a press and security relation. His biggest problem atm is that he is unable to build something new after leaving the royal fold. There is no focus and dedication but flip flopping and badly worded statements. 
The references to his mother are mostly to underline his narrative or to give him credibility. Because he cannot successfully create it out of his own profile. That’s not the same as grieving (which he very probably also still does and I am sure the reality of his mother never meeting the children opened a very raw and painful new can of worms).

[hoipolloi]

So, maybe people shouldn't believe everything about H & M printed in the tabloids?

 

[tabitha2]

So? No one should really believe anything about any celebrity or  Royal written in those trash mags. Meghans and her husband’s actions, words and choices  are more than enough without the made up shit to make them shady and not to be trusted IMO. 

[just_ordinary]

I think assuming about 75% of all those articles are actually made up or heavily misleading is a good rule of thumb. Another 20% is exaggerating and only 5% can be taken for the truth. Which one that are now….. 

[zee_four]

19 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I think assuming about 75% of all those articles are actually made up or heavily misleading is a good rule of thumb. Another 20% is exaggerating and only 5% can be taken for the truth. Which one that are now….. 

Yeah that's not where the bulk of legitimate criticism about M and H is coming from. All you need for that is their own interviews, in house videos and comments and the way they gleefully go and accept awards they've done nothing to earn like the NAACP. Nice try expensive PR team to indirectly claim M is just a victim of the tabloids but anyone with a brain knows that's not the source of what's driving criticism. What's next, a sob story about how the carefully screened videos and interviews produced in house and released on their own social media just aren't fair? To me its just another negative strike. Own your words, you can't be a leader of anyone, especially of the poor and downtrodden and people who are truly brought down by structural racism and poverty if you think the biggest victim of all time is yourself and are never responsible for anything at all. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Meghan is finally doing something to fulfill the Spotify/Archewell Audio contract. It’s a podcast about stereotypes about women. It’s called “Archetypes.” 🙄

[mama4cor]

I knew they wouldn't be there but it still made me sad that Harry and his family didn't attend the service for the Duke of Edinburgh today. I guess I had hoped he would change his mind and attend since the Duke played such a large role in his life.

Edited March 29, 2022 by mama4cor

[viii]

Huge error on his part. I’m sure his absence has to do with his lawsuit but I hope he realizes how dumb he looks. So many foreign royals and dignitaries were there. Security would have been 100% fine for him. Hope he regrets this for a long time. 

[anjulibai]

I think if Harry had gone, he'd be criticized for pulling attention from the event. Maybe not here, but in the media. 

[mama4cor]

1 hour ago, viii said:

Huge error on his part. I’m sure his absence has to do with his lawsuit but I hope he realizes how dumb he looks. So many foreign royals and dignitaries were there. Security would have been 100% fine for him. Hope he regrets this for a long time. 

This is something a friend and I discussed today - he said he felt like it was unsafe for his family to be there. But with all the foreign royalty along with many members of the UK Government, security would have been at its peak. I'm reading online now that there were receptions held after at both St James' Palace and Kensington Palace - also places and events with heightened security. His reasoning seems so hollow at this point. It would have probably been better if he just said nothing or said "I don't want to come." Something along those lines instead of (what appears to be) a "lame" excuse. *Just my opinion.*

[tabitha2]

It’s going to look mighty shady he can cavort and bloviate around the Netherlands with press following but he can’t go for his beloved Grand dads service and see his Grandma.  

[mama4cor]

41 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

It’s going to look mighty shady he can cavort and bloviate around the Netherlands with press following but he can’t go for his beloved Grand dads service and see his Grandma.  

YES! Another excellent point - he has every intention of being there for the Invictus Games - is he not concerned with the security at that event?

[viii]

It’s probably for the best he didn’t attend, the whole media focus would have been on him and his interactions. 

[tabitha2]

He just plain didn’t want to go and made up some lame excuse that never held water.  If he was smart He would have issued a statement months ago stating his deep regrets he would not be able attend at this time but his thought are with his family and looked forward to being able to travel back in future and then left it at that. 
 

But It could be Mad Max chaos and don’t think Meghan will let him miss the coronation in a few years   

[prayawaythefundie]

I think it‘s obvious to everyone that his security concerns weren‘t really what kept Harry from attending this event where at least half of Europe‘s royalty felt safe enough. 
 

I guess he just has positioned himself so far outside of his family by his & Meghan‘s harsh public criticism that he would have felt very uncomfortable there. I wonder if he is already having regrets but can‘t figure out a way to go back a little, start building bridges instead of burning them und begin a healing process. To me he seems trapped by his own past actions.

Edited March 30, 2022 by prayawaythefundie

[Four is Enough]

15 hours ago, viii said:

It’s probably for the best he didn’t attend, the whole media focus would have been on him and his interactions. 

Or maybe he was afraid there would be no media circus surrounding him and he'd have to admit he's not as important as he thinks he is,.

 

[MamaJunebug]

15 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

If he was smart

And there’s his problem: He isn’t. 
 

Not sure why this keeps my attention. My real interest in the royals begins with the jewelry and extends to Kate’s wardrobe and Geo, Lotte & Lou.  
 

Guess I just look at Harry and wonder (not positively) at how he seems to be squandering all the advantages bestowed on him by birth.  

 

Understood: He’s had a hefty share of tragedy as well. But for bad decisions, he seems to be holding the lead for his generation.

 Hope he can figure it out soon snd start to enjoy life.  Seriously.  Not even royals have unlimited time on this earth. 

[mama4cor]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

And there’s his problem: He isn’t. 
 

Not sure why this keeps my attention. My real interest in the royals begins with the jewelry and extends to Kate’s wardrobe and Geo, Lotte & Lou.  
 

Guess I just look at Harry and wonder (not positively) at how he seems to be squandering all the advantages bestowed on him by birth.  

 

Understood: He’s had a hefty share of tragedy as well. But for bad decisions, he seems to be holding the lead for his generation.

 Hope he can figure it out soon snd start to enjoy life.  Seriously.  Not even royals have unlimited time on this earth. 

I'm with you...I can't figure out why I continue to follow the comings and goings and general mess of H & M - I guess it's mainly because he always seemed so close to his family, especially his brother and Catherine. For it to just suddenly stop is curious to me. I believe he's had trauma, I agree the BRF needs to evolve and make changes but the complete about face from H (and to some extent M - see their engagement interview) is strange to me. Especially when I look at how things have gone with M and her history with her family. In any case, I'm mostly following the BRF for the same things...the fashion, the jewels and those oh so adorable Cambridge kids. I wish H & M success and most importantly, peace and healing in their new life - I just want them to stop with their nonsense.

Edited March 30, 2022 by mama4cor
Adding words for clarity - but still feeling it's unclear lol

[Coconut Flan]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Or maybe he was afraid there would be no media circus surrounding him and he'd have to admit he's not as important as he thinks he is,.

Charlotte seems to have stolen the show.  She looks like a really fun kid.

[viii]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Charlotte seems to have stolen the show.  She looks like a really fun kid.

Ngl, I kind of wish she had been born first. George seems like a really solemn child and I hope his position doesn't negatively impact him. Charlotte seems a lot more social and natural at it and would have made an amazing heir.