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BlondeAgent007
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Where are you going to get a gaggle of super well behaved children aged 13 and under?  You'll need at least 9. 

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46 minutes ago, Howl said:

Where are you going to get a gaggle of super well behaved children aged 13 and under?  You'll need at least 9. 

Craigslist. I am guessing some tired mammas out there might be happy for a break.

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2 hours ago, Howl said:

Where are you going to get a gaggle of super well behaved children aged 13 and under?  You'll need at least 9. 

Ugh that's another downfall - we only have one child, but the pregnant pillow is hilarious and I'm debating it.  I DO have 3 stepchildren but they are all adults (18, 20, 26) and would probably blow my cover more.  The 13 year age gap with Mr. Agent isn't ever really noticed by the general public when it's just us and Small Agent.  When the older step-agents are around is when I hear, "wait, how OLD are you/him??" 

I'm not going on Halloween or anything.  I'm trying to go incognito with my cosplay.  Nobody wearing a Native headdress is trying to fool anyone into thinking they're Native.  I'm definitely poking fun at them, but I am trying to keep it to myself and the people that are "in" on the joke, which is my family, the few people who might care on my facebook page, and if anyone here wants some face blurred photos of my experience, for all of you. 

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15 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

It's pretty pricey, I hear. I don't think I'd pay, either. And if I won tickets, I think I'd want to go, but I might give myself away snorting at the captions or seeing Jesus riding the velociraptor...

 

I wouldn't pay to go. But it's the sort of place my parents and their travel group would likely go - they've been to the Ark thing and the Museum of the Bible in DC (the Hobby Lobby Museum of Stolen Antiquities is what I usually call it). 

So, if somehow I ended up with the opportunity to go for free, I'd probably jump on the chance. However, I'd probably go the opposite from Fundie cosplay, and go as goth as I could. That's my preferred dress-up look anyway (I'd do it every day if I wasn't so lazy and running late all the time) so I'd feel comfortable that way. 

If I was with my parents I'd probably just dress Goth and be polite and nice. If I was going without them? Depending on how snarky I felt that day I very well might carry a deck of tarot cards with me and offer a reading to anyone who tries to "witness" to me. The Deviant Moon deck if I was really in a tetchy mood.

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9 hours ago, BlondeAgent007 said:

I understand I will be giving them my money one time.  I have never eaten Chik fil a or shopped at Hobby Lobby, I think I can have this one experience.

Yes, the goal is to cosplay fundies in Fundie Mecca and tongue and cheek the entire day.  One of my goals in asking for advice is to ensure I don't end up appropriating the wrong people.  I am unsure of whether to include a headcovering for this reason.  My hair is to my shoulders, so I won't have that going for me, so hiding my lack of hair under some type of bonnet seemed like a good idea.  

I really just need to see it for myself.  Not just from the lens of another snarker who agrees with me.  

Check the Maxwell Family blog from 2020 or so. Ape the womenfolk’s apparel and lack of makeup and lack of “braided hair.”   Clean, combed hair with maybe a headband or on a low pony. 
 

As mentioned, two layers on top. Be sure one layer’s neckline comes almost to where your neck and chest intersect. 
 

Skirt of any length that keeps the knees at least half-covered when you sit. Khaki or denim or cotton-poly but probably a solid color. (Eschew Jill Rodrigues’ chevron stripes.) And comfortable, supportive walking shoes - Adidas-type. Trainers, as they say in the UK. 
 

No jewelry or if you have pierced ears, simple ball studs.  Hee Hee Hee. I said “ball studs.”  
 

You’ll probably not notice any appreciable difference in how staff treat you vs. pants-wearers.  You might find other skirts wearers approach you, more than they approach pants wearers, making casual, comments to a stranger fashion.

But what I’ll really be interested in hearing is: How did pants wearers react to YOU? Freaky Friday stuff?  Nothing?  I’m looking forward to your report!

As for giving them money: it’s not like you’re making a donation. You’re paying for entertainment.  
 

No starched kapps nor kerchiefs. And no dresses associated with Amish / Mennonite with the sewn-on vest in the same fabric.  

Follow the Maxgals pre-emancipation and you’ll do fine. 
 

Be sure to report back!! 

Edited by MamaJunebug
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Make sure hubby had one of those clip-on cellphone holders that Jimb Blob likes to wear. 

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2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I wouldn't pay to go. But it's the sort of place my parents and their travel group would likely go - they've been to the Ark thing and the Museum of the Bible in DC (the Hobby Lobby Museum of Stolen Antiquities is what I usually call it). 

So, if somehow I ended up with the opportunity to go for free, I'd probably jump on the chance. However, I'd probably go the opposite from Fundie cosplay, and go as goth as I could. That's my preferred dress-up look anyway (I'd do it every day if I wasn't so lazy and running late all the time) so I'd feel comfortable that way. 

If I was with my parents I'd probably just dress Goth and be polite and nice. If I was going without them? Depending on how snarky I felt that day I very well might carry a deck of tarot cards with me and offer a reading to anyone who tries to "witness" to me. The Deviant Moon deck if I was really in a tetchy mood.

My husband and I went several years ago. He has a degree in religious studies and had an academic interest in the place every since he'd heard about it. I hated the idea of giving them money, but we were traveling through the area and he really wanted to go, so we agreed to offset the damage by donating an equal amount to a science education non-profit. 

I wore a t-shirt with a slogan like "education is power" or something on it, but I don't think any of the other museum-goers noticed. It wasn't very crowded the day we went.

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21 hours ago, noseybutt said:

Craigslist. I am guessing some tired mammas out there might be happy for a break.

Scratch the head covering. I saw a how-to youtube on the Pentacostal up-do but worried about how to get all that hairspray out. Maybe there is a head covering for that hairstyle?

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Reading this thread really makes me realize how in summer, I am probably mistaken for a fundie. Ew. I wear long dresses/skirts because waistbands and pants in general suck and am pretty modest on top because I have a chest the size of Mt Rushmore. And I wear supportive shoes because my orthotics don’t fit in any other. I guess I should wear my glittery rainbow chalice necklace more. Or I could put a bumper sticker on my ass reading : ‘despite what I look like I’m a liberal communist queer.’

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41 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

Reading this thread really makes me realize how in summer, I am probably mistaken for a fundie. Ew. I wear long dresses/skirts because waistbands and pants in general suck and am pretty modest on top because I have a chest the size of Mt Rushmore. And I wear supportive shoes because my orthotics don’t fit in any other. I guess I should wear my glittery rainbow chalice necklace more. Or I could put a bumper sticker on my ass reading : ‘despite what I look like I’m a liberal communist queer.’

Eh, my mother in law is a very liberal almost 70 year old hippie who wears long flowy skirts all summer with shoes good for walking and big blouses and vests that look like they came from a Maxwell closet. I don’t think she looks like a fundie though. 

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Eh, my mother in law is a very liberal almost 70 year old hippie who wears long flowy skirts all summer with shoes good for walking and big blouses and vests that look like they came from a Maxwell closet. I don’t think she looks like a fundie though. 

Yeah I have an older friend who lives in the long flowy skirts and vests and such with comfy shoes. She has the long hair and little-to-no-makeup going on too. She's a witch.

I think for the true "fundie" look, the skirt has to be heavy and fairly straight, preferably with no slit (bonus points if the slit is stitched or safety pinned shut). Denim and khaki preferred. Flowy skirts and you might get mistaken for a hippie. 

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12 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

Scratch the head covering. I saw a how-to youtube on the Pentacostal up-do but worried about how to get all that hairspray out. Maybe there is a head covering for that hairstyle?

I have seen a trend on Instagram that headbands are the head coverings. 

12 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

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That facial expression though.

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@BlondeAgent007 Do not smirk under your headcovering (as our model, above) at the Creation Museum or the gig will be up!

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A lifetime ago, I witnessed a BOMBASTIC web fight over “Headbands: Coverings or Cop-out?” That wasn’t the name but it could’ve been. 
 

I’ve become fond of the fabric-covered plastic headbands that became popular 5 or so years ago. Have one that has more fabric than most, laid in a flattish bow. It actually looks a little like one of the hat styles popular in the ‘50s when we all wore hats to church on Easter, and any time we had to go to the extended family’s Roman Catholic Church. Can’t recall the name. Not a cloche, not a tam, not a pillbox… ETA: “Band? Bandeau? Bandeau is a bra top. Now I’m on a quest!!
 

Anyhoo, It occurred to me that said headband might meet with approval by the Orthodox rabbi if I ever feel the need to sit in on a worship service at the shul.  He presents generic talks on living a good life on Saturday mornings in the shul assembly room and has welcomed me warmly. Not all the women at those encouragement talks wear hats, but all do wear skirted suits or dresses.  

Edited by MamaJunebug
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You'll need to post pictures of the outfit when you go! I'd try the Plain look, not Amish or Mennonite, but more like Charity Christian fellowship. A pastel floral dress and long white gauzy headcovering. Button up shirt with buttoned to the collar and suspenders for your husband. 

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2 hours ago, Evil Feminist said:

You'll need to post pictures of the outfit when you go! I'd try the Plain look, not Amish or Mennonite, but more like Charity Christian fellowship. A pastel floral dress and long white gauzy headcovering. Button up shirt with buttoned to the collar and suspenders for your husband. 

Definitely trying not to look the wrong way - that's why I am here for ideas on what to look for.  My fundie following was much stronger years ago, and all of their styles have changed considerably.  Example -no duggar wears a frumper anymore.

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On 3/8/2022 at 1:47 AM, BlondeAgent007 said:

I understand I will be giving them my money one time.  I have never eaten Chik fil a or shopped at Hobby Lobby, I think I can have this one experience.

Yes, the goal is to cosplay fundies in Fundie Mecca and tongue and cheek the entire day.  One of my goals in asking for advice is to ensure I don't end up appropriating the wrong people.  I am unsure of whether to include a headcovering for this reason.  My hair is to my shoulders, so I won't have that going for me, so hiding my lack of hair under some type of bonnet seemed like a good idea.  

I really just need to see it for myself.  Not just from the lens of another snarker who agrees with me.  

I think it’s okay to be curious and want to research with your own eyes, ears and mind. I have spent my adulthood making a hobby out of researching anything that interests me. It’s okay to research a topic  you don’t agree with or have flat out disdain for. Unfortunately this means you have to give these people money, albeit one time. This might also give you the opportunity to do what my one friend calls “restoring balance to the universe.” Said friend is from a super small conservative town in the south. We’re talking about going to the diner, the pharmacy, everywhere and seeing Trump signs, hearing people say nasty things about anyone who’s not Christian, straight, and white. Anytime she spends money in her hometown she makes a donation to an inclusive charity when she returns home for whatever amount she spent. I think it will be interesting to see the museum with your own eyes and interpret it’s obvious false statements for yourself. 
 

I would say do not wear a head covering. One of my friends (not the one mentioned above, two separate people) is former Amish and she can tell from a mile away exactly what group someone is by their hair covering or in some cases hairstyle. She can tell you if they’re Amish, Mennonite, Pentecostal, FLDS, what branch of that group and so on. You might end up with someone from a group who also wears head coverings thinking you’re their new bestie. Worst of all you could offend someone. Because many religious groups have hair coverings for various reasons. So maybe best to not trample on that. 

Edited by SunnySide
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On 3/13/2022 at 3:43 PM, BlondeAgent007 said:

Definitely trying not to look the wrong way - that's why I am here for ideas on what to look for.  My fundie following was much stronger years ago, and all of their styles have changed considerably.  Example -no duggar wears a frumper anymore.

I bought a quilt at the church garage sale which sports20220319_102318.thumb.jpg.3b11431fa15fba0b7fd3ddc086cd4ce5.jpg a be-frumpered, head-covered gardening lady.

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The fundie dress code acronym for women is Long, Loose, and Lots so go with that. Slits were an issue 10-15 years ago (the Maxwells sewed them shut or just didn't buy garments that included them) - if you can find a gored denim or khaki skirt (or corduroy, since it's going to be fall) that's perfect. For your daughter, I'd say look at the Maxwell blog probably five years back and see what the ABC girls were wearing - you may need to thrift for this, so you get something that looks like it was a hand-me-down. (A longish knit dress with an empire waist would be comfy, warm enough for the November weather, and possibly wearable again depending on her preferences.) Ankle socks and sneakers, or mary janes, or possibly knockoff crocs for her, and definitely leggings under her dress.

Hair: a bun is your friend as far as hiding any length or trendiness issues (shoulder-length should go into a bun, wrap it in a scrunchie and no one will know whether you're on trend or stuck 20 years ago, but make sure you don't smell like expensive styling products) and the only headcovering I would attempt is a bandanna tied over that bun - maybe - which would also help with concealing any trendy stuff you need to hide. If you have highlights or unnaturally-dyed hair this is going to give you away. I would not put a bandanna on your daughter. Is her hair long enough for two pigtails or braids? Also, have her practice this garb at least a few times before your trip. If I'm doing the math, she's five. My daughter was a total blabbermouth at that age. She will blow your cover in a hurry if she's not used to wearing a dress/leggings or seeing you in a long skirt. If she's walking around waving the hem of her dress around like a flag or yammering about wanting to put her jeans back on people will know she's not used to wearing that. Don't let her play with your phones, but do let her bring in a doll or stuffed animal.

For your husband, this is easy - a tucked-in polo shirt. Long-sleeve button-down if it's really cold out. Jeans are okay for him. Khakis might be better. Wear a belt. White sneakers (like New Balance "dad" sneakers) will work.

As far as non-thrift stores - I know I've heard fundie blogs in years past mention Ross Dress For Less, and places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls. Walmart is also okay. You really can't go anything more expensive than Kohl's or JCPenney and even those are iffy from a pricing standpoint. And you don't want words across the front of your shirt.

If you want to hint at pregnancy without padding your middle, you could wear a maternity top (go to a thrift store, you can't afford this year's styles from Motherhood!) and wear it with your skirt. Something with ruched sides. This says "I'm expanding my family even though I'm not huge yet." But maternity clothes tend to have low necklines so DEFINITELY layer a half-tee or something equally high-necked under it. BUT...if you wear something visibly maternity-ish, and someone says something in your daughter's hearing, she may make your "announcement" to people you know IRL and that could get awkward.

The biggest thing is, don't look like you spent money on your outfit. Expensive shoe brands? No. Tieks? Doc Martens? Birkenstocks? You can't afford those, you're a one-income family with a husband who may or may not be a homeschool graduate who doesn't make bank. You want off-brand Walmart sneakers, not Nikes. Cheap flats, knock-off Crocs. You get the idea. Get them now so you can wear them enough to get them dirty and scuffed before your trip or you'll look like you're cosplaying. Look at your jewelry; someone already mentioned earrings (one pair of small, plain studs is all you can really get away with) but if your wedding band or engagement ring is blingy, hide it in your bra or the hotel safe and wear a plain silver band from Walmart or Kohl's. Analog watch is better than a smart watch, better yet if it looks like something you inherited from your grandma, like with a small oval face and a stretchy band. Make sure your purse/wallet isn't an expensive brand. If you buy anything there, pay with cash (bonus points if you get one of those accordion-folding wallets Dave Ramsey recommends) not a credit card.

ETA given your daughter's age you could pull off matching mommy-and-me dresses. Not Duggar frumper style, but like Old Navy (they sometimes have them) as long as they're below the knee for both of you. It may be too late to find anything end-of-season clearance right now but that would be a very fundie-esque way of acquiring coordinating dresses...unless you have good sewing skills!

Edited by Bethy
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2 hours ago, Bethy said:

 

The biggest thing is, don't look like you spent money on your outfit. Expensive shoe brands? No. Tieks? Doc Martens? Birkenstocks? You can't afford those, you're a one-income family with a husband who may or may not be a homeschool graduate who doesn't make bank. You want off-brand Walmart sneakers, not Nikes. Cheap flats, knock-off Crocs. You get the idea. Get them now so you can wear them enough to get them dirty and scuffed before your trip or you'll look like you're cosplaying. Look at your jewelry; someone already mentioned earrings (one pair of small, plain studs is all you can really get away with) but if your wedding band or engagement ring is blingy, hide it in your bra or the hotel safe and wear a plain silver band from Walmart or Kohl's. Analog watch is better than a smart watch, better yet if it looks like something you inherited from your grandma, like with a small oval face and a stretchy band. Make sure your purse/wallet isn't an expensive brand. If you buy anything there, pay with cash (bonus points if you get one of those accordion-folding wallets Dave Ramsey recommends) not a credit card.

People who thrift (like me) wear name brands. The whole purpose of thrifting is to have nice things. Right now I am wearing my $2.50 Keen sandals.

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On 3/9/2022 at 8:26 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Eh, my mother in law is a very liberal almost 70 year old hippie who wears long flowy skirts all summer with shoes good for walking and big blouses and vests that look like they came from a Maxwell closet. I don’t think she looks like a fundie though. 

Daughter-in-law??? Is that you??? :D 

14 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

People who thrift (like me) wear name brands. The whole purpose of thrifting is to have nice things. Right now I am wearing my $2.50 Keen sandals.

16477429164048334568007677627006.jpg

Well played! I bow in your direction!!!!

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90% of what I wear is thrifted and I find LLBean, LandsEnd, Eddie Bauer, and similar brands, as well as Old Navy and Target house brands. The only things I  always buy new are underwear, swimsuits, socks and shoes - the latter are very expensive for me because I use a special orthotics -friendly brand. But few people know that I only paid $12 for that sundress or $5 for that shirt because I keep things generally clean and…wait. I’m actually not around people that much. So for all I know they can totally tell. 

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45 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

90% of what I wear is thrifted and I find LLBean, LandsEnd, Eddie Bauer, and similar brands, as well as Old Navy and Target house brands. The only things I  always buy new are underwear, swimsuits, socks and shoes - the latter are very expensive for me because I use a special orthotics -friendly brand. But few people know that I only paid $12 for that sundress or $5 for that shirt because I keep things generally clean and…wait. I’m actually not around people that much. So for all I know they can totally tell. 

I actually get 90% of my clothes as hand-me-downs from my sister (and everything but underwear and socks for my daughter from my niece).  I've always worn my sister's hand-me-downs, she is a successful lawyer who loves to shop, and we wear similar sizes.  So, while basically my entire wardrobe is 2nd hand, it is all name-brand and somewhat trendy, as the clothes are normally passed on within 3 seasons.  It's one of the reasons the lack of style in fundie world surprises me - I wear other people's discarded clothes too (a good chunk is business casual/conservative, bc lawyer) and despite this, it simply wouldn't look fundie enough.  

While pregnant with tiny agent I shaved my head and my hair is slow growing.  So, while the shoulder length holds me back, I let my natural color grow out too, so that IS going in my favor.  Tiny agent is almost 4 but inherited my hair - she's had 2 trims in her whole life and her hair has just gotten past her shoulders, and I mean barely passed.

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I still eat at my local Chick Fil A, the manager is a cool guy and employs a bunch of local high school kids who really need the money. While the workers at my Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are crushed by the amount of online orders and completely overworked/overwhelmed, Chick Fil A always has sufficient staff and people seem to like to work there. How places treat their workers is equally as important to me as big corporate values. 

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