Webster4Eva 11: They don't know it's not vitally important to teach a 5 year old how to choose a man

[SassyPants]

14 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She seems to have so much energy and needs outlets. So she switches rooms to find an outlet for that energy. I bet she would be a great events coordinator. 

Absolutely agree that Alyssa would make a fantastic worker. Too bad her cult only permits her to be a mother-

[Heidijoey]

Absolutely agree that Alyssa would make a fantastic worker. Too bad her cult only permits her to be a mother-

I wonder if she sees what Carlin , Whitney, Josie, Michaela and even Erin are doing with their own businesses and regrets not sticking with the cleaning business or learning some other skill when she was younger?

[Fundielandobserver]

I think the real reason to switch was not energy but the that the bed broke as I read somewhere ...someone even mentioned it could be the cause that one of the girls broke her collar bone and it was pretty dangerous! even the new beds are pretty cheap..she should invest in some good furniture ...right now the girls are pretty tiny but it will not always be! 

[AussieKrissy]

Did she go and re order all new decor and furniture and name signs…. Sigh more money than sense 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m so cheap. I fully admit I would just put a twin mattress/box spring on the floor for each girl and that would be it. But having that many kids would mean I would go cheap and simple on a lot of things. 

[CarrotCake]

12 hours ago, Fundielandobserver said:

I think the real reason to switch was not energy but the that the bed broke as I read somewhere ...someone even mentioned it could be the cause that one of the girls broke her collar bone and it was pretty dangerous! even the new beds are pretty cheap..she should invest in some good furniture ...right now the girls are pretty tiny but it will not always be! 

She spends way more money on decoration. Wallpaper is usually not cheap, just like custom name tags. Again, the way it looks is more important than the quality.

[Smash!]

She could buy the older two kids normal sized beds and mattresses, invest in quality and she wouldn‘t have to buy new beds until they are grown up.

[GreenBeans]

1 hour ago, Smash! said:

She could buy the older two kids normal sized beds and mattresses, invest in quality and she wouldn‘t have to buy new beds until they are grown up.

It’s not about quality. It’s about being on trend - no matter if it makes sense, is functional or useful or will last for a long time. Buying quality goods that last would only mean that she’d have to hold off on the next renovation or room change, and her girls might have to live in a non-Pinterest perfect room.

Baby boy’s furniture is all good quality, but used. We got a wooden crib that can be transformed into a toddler/kid bed on the local equivalent of Craigslist (new 400€, we paid 50€). It does have a Winnie the Pooh sticker on one side, but seriously, who cares? At least that way it won’t matter as much if baby boy at some point decides to use his coloring pens or stickers on his furniture (which will inevitably happen). 

I love buying used stuff! We could afford new, but used is often better value for money, better quality and better for the environment, too.

[Smash!]

12 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

I love buying used stuff! We could afford new, but used is often better value for money, better quality and better for the environment, too.

Same! There are some items like mattresses or a couch I wouldn‘t buy used tough. You never know what fluids are soaked in the textile.

[Scrabblemaster]

58 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

 

I love buying used stuff! We could afford new, but used is often better value for money, better quality and better for the environment, too.

Absolutely! During the last 3 to 4 years I mostly bought my stuff second hand.  Clothes, sometimes shoes, books, games, CDs &DVDs ( I am still old-school and don't like streaming services), stuff for the kitchen...anything I think I need or want to have, I will primarily try to buy second hand. I make exceptions with technique  stuff or presents for other people, because  sadly not many people would understand why I bought their gift second-hand - and I have to choose wisely what I want to argue about.  Most people do not understand why I buy my things mostly second-hand, but in the end I can tell them that it is non of their business. 

[GreenBeans]

1 hour ago, Scrabblemaster said:

Absolutely! During the last 3 to 4 years I mostly bought my stuff second hand.  Clothes, sometimes shoes, books, games, CDs &DVDs ( I am still old-school and don't like streaming services), stuff for the kitchen...anything I think I need or want to have, I will primarily try to buy second hand.

Same here. It started off with baby boy’s clothes (newborns grow out of stuff so quickly and people tend to buy or be gifted so much that in small sizes “used” is often “good as new”). I wouldn’t buy shoes used though, because those can’t be washed and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing used shoes or having baby boy wear them.

But recently whenever we need something for our kitchen / household (pots for plants, picture frames…) we’ve started to go looking on our local Craigslist-type website first. We have some beautiful used wooden furniture, too.

Of course, sometimes people will ask for a price that’s close to new and just not reasonable, and sometimes you don’t find anything good. Sometimes that helps to make you rethink and reassess as well - do I really need this? Do I really want to spend x amount of money for this if I have to buy it new?

People often say that kids are so expensive, and yes, a kid does come with lots of additional costs and expenses, but how much you spend depends a lot on whether you want everything brand new, changing with every trend, whether you think you need 5 pants, shirts and dresses for your kid or 20 (the little Websters seem to be dressed up in new and different sets matching dresses every weekend…) etc…

Yes, there are SO MANY cute kids’ clothes but with a washer and dryer, you don’t need THAT much.

 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Smash! said:

Same! There are some items like mattresses or a couch I wouldn‘t buy used tough. You never know what fluids are soaked in the textile.

Agree, I wouldn’t buy used textiles that can’t be washed.

[HereticHick]

2 hours ago, Scrabblemaster said:

.  Most people do not understand why I buy my things mostly second-hand, but in the end I can tell them that it is non of their business. 

I buy most of my clothing used--for environmental reasons, and because I'm purchasing from either a charity or a small business--and I loooove it when someone compliments me on something I'm wearing and I get to say, "thanks, I bought it at a consignment shop!!!"

[Smash!]

The problem with second hand is it takes a lot more time. If you‘re looking for something, it isn‘t always available. Plus here you mostly have to get it in person and you want to check the item if everything is as described. This is why I started ordering online when the pandemic hit. I do miss my favorite thrift store tough but it has no windows so I‘m not risking going there. It‘s one of the casualties of the virus unfortunately.

[SassyPants]

Alyssa in a nutshell: hated the filth and chaos she grew up in. Cleans obsessively and documents such to prove that she is the best wife, mother and housekeeper ever. Admits to being an impatient wife and mother. She is all show and no substance. She clearly has no idea what really matters. Hint, it’s not clean floors or bedrooms devoid of her CHILDREN’s   Individual personalities…it’s all about Alyssa and fulfilling some unmet childhood dream.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m fat so shopping used is extremely hard for me. I buy new, but I don’t buy much clothing. I have way less clothing than most women I know. Probably a third of the usual amount of clothing. I do buy used for our children's books, some of my children's clothing, and some toys. 

[zee_four]

On 2/13/2022 at 12:57 PM, SassyPants said:

Here’s the simple POV from your average size 8. While individuals might skinny shame, society, medicine, science, businesses, ALL fat shame. Unless one is dangerously thin, the totally of society does not skinny shame. There is far more envy of the  thin- no one envíes the overweight. 

Yeah I agree. I know I'm a little late to this conversation and not trying to restart the conversatjon but I've been underweight most of my life like 6' 3" and 125 lbs so 17 and under BMI. I'm a size 6 now and am 33. I have never been shamed for being thin ever. If my weight was brought up and it was a lot, it was in a positive way. Yes sometimes it made me feel uncomfortable but that does not equal shaming. I'm always curious about when thin shaming happens. If someone says they've personally experienced I won't question that but in my experience it's brought up in a longing or positive way by the other person regardless of how you feel but that is not what shaming means.

[backyard sylph]

I experienced it as a young person. My 25 year-old son still does. He's 6 feet and I doubt he weighs 130. People are snide about it or act like he must be weak and helpless, and, somehow, also stupid. It's certainly never positive. His girldfriend/fiancee is somewhat heavy. People enjoy commenting on that dichotomy, as well, because they do not consider how it feels. Everyone is a sun with satellites around them. 

It was worse for me, easy target, I suppose, or something to do with being a girl, maybe. It made me even more withdrawn and mistrusting of others. But I would still never presume to question or rate someone else's first-hand experiences. 

[Satan'sFortress]

11 hours ago, Smash! said:

Same! There are some items like mattresses or a couch I wouldn‘t buy used tough. You never know what fluids are soaked in the textile.

My sister says if it can absorb urine, it has absorbed urine."

[Angelface]

If Alyssa could persuade John that school would be best for her health and for the girls, the Websters lives would be so improved and enriched. Those girls would gain so much, a decent education, better social skills, routine, and having a much happier mother. Alyssa could stop having to homeschool (which she clearly doesn’t enjoy), spend one on one time with Maci, keep on top of the housework, exercise and then be able to spend uninterrupted time with the girls when they get home from school. I really hope that she meets someone or sees someone who has changed from homeschooling to real school but is still involved in their church and hasn’t left fundiedom (yet!), someone who can serve as an example so that Alyssa can learn that this could be possible for her family too. John’s father’s stance on homeschooling would be a real obstacle but Alyssa and John could play the health angle. I hope for all their sakes an opportunity presents itself to enable them to choose not to homeschool. 
 

[Jackie3]

4 hours ago, Angelface said:

 John’s father’s stance on homeschooling would be a real obstacle but Alyssa and John could play the health angle. I hope for all their sakes an opportunity presents itself to enable them to choose not to homeschool. 
 

Do we know that the older Websters have forbidden them to put the kids in public school? 

People don't always do what their inlaws want. I didn't!

I was just reading about Meredith Hammer, who was homeschooled and met her over-achieving husband when he stumbled across her blog. Despite Meredith's family being strong homeschool advocates, the six little Hammers are going to Christian school. Of course, this may be a special case, because Steven Hammer was a Rhodes Scholar and academic extraordinaire. He surely knows that Meredith's education is inferior. But it is evidence that the younger generation can make different choices. 

They don't have to "play up" the health angle. They can just say "This is what we are doing." A 34-year old man who says, "Please, Daddy, Alyssa has heart problems!" is not much of a man at all.

[Angelface]

Daniel Webster, John’s father, is known as “Father of the Florida homeschool law”. In 1985 he sponsored legislation that allowed Florida parents to teach their children at home. I imagine that it may be difficult for John to choose not to homeschool given his father’s well publicised involvement in pushing through legislation to allow for homeschooling. Congressman Webster is still in office and is a public figure. Perhaps when he is no longer in office one of his son’s opting not to homeschool may not be such a big deal. 
Then again, John is his own headship so perhaps at some time in the future he and Alyssa may just put the girls in school. Here’s hoping. 

[Jackie3]

30 minutes ago, Angelface said:

Daniel Webster, John’s father, is known as “Father of the Florida homeschool law”. In 1985 he sponsored legislation that allowed Florida parents to teach their children at home. I imagine that it may be difficult for John to choose not to homeschool given his father’s well publicised involvement in pushing through legislation to allow for homeschooling. Congressman Webster is still in office and is a public figure. Perhaps when he is no longer in office one of his son’s opting not to homeschool may not be such a big deal. 
Then again, John is his own headship so perhaps at some time in the future he and Alyssa may just put the girls in school. Here’s hoping. 

John's his own headship, exactly. Leave and cleave.

For example, isn't Dan Webster a big fan of ATI?  Is ATI still even a thing? In any event, John and Alyssa use Abeka, IIRC.

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by Jackie3

[Mrs Ms]

57 minutes ago, Angelface said:

Daniel Webster, John’s father, is known as “Father of the Florida homeschool law”. In 1985 he sponsored legislation that allowed Florida parents to teach their children at home. I imagine that it may be difficult for John to choose not to homeschool given his father’s well publicised involvement in pushing through legislation to allow for homeschooling. Congressman Webster is still in office and is a public figure. Perhaps when he is no longer in office one of his son’s opting not to homeschool may not be such a big deal. 
Then again, John is his own headship so perhaps at some time in the future he and Alyssa may just put the girls in school. Here’s hoping. 

Plus he is John’s boss. Bit harder to be your own man if your employment could be at risk…

[Melissa1977]

Alyssa will never put girls at school, not only because her father in law (a big reason), but also because she doesn't value academic knowledge. I'm sure she really thinks screen-school is enough. In addition, there is the money issue. They would never send the kids to a public school and a private one for 4 must be expensive... I'm sure money is the biggest reason for a lot of 2nd gen fundies choosing homeschooling.

The best scenario is that they go to  the co-op more days a week or that the girls start extracurricular activities. I don't see them going further than that.

[AussieKrissy]

On 4/8/2022 at 10:55 PM, Scrabblemaster said:

Absolutely! During the last 3 to 4 years I mostly bought my stuff second hand.  Clothes, sometimes shoes, books, games, CDs &DVDs ( I am still old-school and don't like streaming services), stuff for the kitchen...anything I think I need or want to have, I will primarily try to buy second hand. I make exceptions with technique  stuff or presents for other people, because  sadly not many people would understand why I bought their gift second-hand - and I have to choose wisely what I want to argue about.  Most people do not understand why I buy my things mostly second-hand, but in the end I can tell them that it is non of their business. 

I always wondered why those girls don’t do extra sport and stuff. Parents are called their kids taxi for a reason. I know she has four but she wanted that many. She should be driving them to their own baseball practice and swimming lessons etc. 

the one thing I give her is that if I had a pool I would rarely go out either. My kid is a water bug and would happily spend all day in the water. But even before they had that house they never went to the park or the beach or indoor play area library etc no little excursions nothing unless it was a photo shoot. 
those kids are a prop and nothing more.