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Webster4Eva 11: They don't know it's not vitally important to teach a 5 year old how to choose a man


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When she posts stories or photos of her house after she's cleaned it, I feel that her decor has no personality, it's like generic stuff in a hotel room or staged house.

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5 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

When she posts stories or photos of her house after she's cleaned it, I feel that her decor has no personality, it's like generic stuff in a hotel room or staged house.

It’s very cold and sterile.

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I think Alyssa is 100% window dressing. I think she truly believe that everything is about aesthetics and that substance and intent do not matter. If she’s pretty and thin, it doesn’t matter if she’s an empty vessel…if the house is matchy match and spotless, it doesn’t matter if it’s devoid of warmth, fun and inspiration.

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On 3/10/2022 at 2:45 AM, SassyPants said:

I wonder if Alyssa is a strong swimmer? Admittedly, the oldest 3 girls have had swimming lessons and are nearing 7, 5, and 4 years of age, so are probably safer around water, but throwing a baby in the mix is frightening. Plus, there’s just too many of them for her to be so casual (I’m betting John is a decent swimmer but is out of the home most of the time).

We owned one home with a pool which we purchased when our kids were 12 and 9. Before that time, we had owned 3 homes without pools by choice. Having worked in the PICU with children who were near drownings (usually with catastrophic outcomes), the risk was just too high for me.

In Australia it is illegal to have a non fenced pool so it always shocks me to see that in America. I have a swimming pool and a very strict rule we have Is no one under 10 is allowed to open the pool fence and if over 10 only able to to open it if a grown up is there. My kids are 7, 5 and newborn so I think next summer I'll be a bit more stressed about it as older 2 can swim pretty well now. 

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1 hour ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

In Australia it is illegal to have a non fenced pool so it always shocks me to see that in America. I have a swimming pool and a very strict rule we have Is no one under 10 is allowed to open the pool fence and if over 10 only able to to open it if a grown up is there. My kids are 7, 5 and newborn so I think next summer I'll be a bit more stressed about it as older 2 can swim pretty well now. 

My cousin has an in ground pool that came with their house and she’s so afraid to open it because of the kids. There’s no way it will be opened without a pool alarm also fully working. I totally understand her anxiety surrounding that pool. 

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Pools can be so much fun, but they also have their obvious dangers. I know it’s a lot to insure them, and a huge risk to have one. When I do eventually own a home I have absolutely no desire to have a pool. Everything from the safety and insurance aspects, maintenance costs, not being able to use the pool year round where I am, just doesn’t make sense to me. Also, I am fortunate because a lot of the indoor pool facilities (pre-COVID at least) around us open to the general public in the winter. So for the cost of a day pass you can go swimming without all the fuss of maintaining your own pool. 

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I grew up with pools all my life (which I admit does sound a bit privileged and rich... oops). But my mother has always been a swimmer, and strong one at that. She was herself in the swim team as a teen, and so were my sister and I. We would basically spend our whole summer outside by (and in) the pool. It was also great to have friends over all summer long.

It's true that it's a lot of work to maintain. But think if you take some great joy in it, it can be worth it. I do miss it a lot in summer, even if it's been a few years now.

I think what helped us a lot was the fact that my mom was VERY adamant about water safety, being a swimmer herself. My mom wanted us to be at ease in the water very young. She would tell us how to relax if we ever fell in by accident, how to float on our backs, etc. And even so, we were not allowed to go swim until an adult was actually sitting there and watching us.

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9 hours ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

In Australia it is illegal to have a non fenced pool so it always shocks me to see that in America. I have a swimming pool and a very strict rule we have Is no one under 10 is allowed to open the pool fence and if over 10 only able to to open it if a grown up is there. My kids are 7, 5 and newborn so I think next summer I'll be a bit more stressed about it as older 2 can swim pretty well now. 

It's illegal everywhere I've lived, but these are local laws, not a federal one. We had a house with a pool for awhile, and besides being required to have locks on the gates, we were required to carry extra catastrophic insurance in case anyone was injured there, even if it was without our permission. 

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14 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

It's illegal everywhere I've lived, but these are local laws, not a federal one. We had a house with a pool for awhile, and besides being required to have locks on the gates, we were required to carry extra catastrophic insurance in case anyone was injured there, even if it was without our permission. 

We are in the process of building a pool, and due to sourcing constraints, our pool is technically slated to be finished before our fence will arrive. I understand the law is that they will NOT fill the pool until our fence and other safety precautions are in place, with no objection from us! However, someone else in our community is still waiting on a fence and filled up their pool with their own hose. Not only highly dangerous for the kids living there, but this is a corner lot where in theory anyone could wander from the sidewalk into their yard/pool (hitting some barriers put in place, but nothing that would remotely pass any type of safety inspection).

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Another thing about pools that you factor in is the temperament and predictability of the children who live in the home or who might have access to the pool. My own kids were not fans of the water and while they might have fallen into a pool, they would not have been attracted to the water or wandered in on their own. Even still, we did all the educational things to keep them safe. My GD, OTOH, has always been attracted to the water. She was jumping into the swimming pool since she could walk, so my daughter immediately put her in lessons and safety classes. They do have a lap pool (no fence, outside of US) and really no ability to fence the pool d/t space constraints. My daughter says its really hard when they have other kids over, as in her country many people do not swim or see the value in lessons:(

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I their latest video, Alyssa confesses that they use birth control, but she didn't elaborate. She did say she wants a "big family."

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7 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I their latest video, Alyssa confesses that they use birth control, but she didn't elaborate. She did say she wants a "big family."

It was pretty obvious since she’s fertile as hell but suddenly had no pregnancy for two years while dealing with health issues. Then once that was fixed, BAM! Pregnant. I think the next kid will be about 2.5 years younger than the baby. 

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17 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I their latest video, Alyssa confesses that they use birth control, but she didn't elaborate. She did say she wants a "big family."

They already have a large family. And I don’t think she has the personality that would mesh well with a bigger family than she already has. She is already treading on the abyss, IMO.

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Now that they have used birth control (during her health issues) and the sky didn’t fall down, nor did anything drastic happen I think that it is far more likely that they will continue to use birth control. This could also potentially have an impact on some of her sisters. I think Josie would prefer to have quite a gap before having anymore children and, personally, I think Carlin could benefit from waiting at least five years before she has anymore. Alyssa using birth control without anything apocalyptical occurring might show her sisters that birth control doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. 

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29 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

They already have a large family. And I don’t think she has the personality that would mesh well with a bigger family than she already has. She is already treading on the abyss, IMO.

I agree. Imo, she doesn't exude the same joy in her Instagram stories with her kids as her sisters do with their kids. Of course this may be in part because her sisters are more successful at presenting the perfect Christian, mommy life on social media.  Also, at some point they have to realize they most likely won't be able to present the perfect "Instagram" life the more kids they have, especially if they are still living in a smallish home.  Well, that being said, apparently Erin is still able to do so with 5 kids.  Though I'm not impressed seeing the kids gathered around the kitchen island to do school work, with the baby in her carrier on the kitchen island as well. 🙄  

Also, the more kids they have, the less money they'll have for all the extras they can no longer live without, not to mention at some point they will no longer have their slim figures (which seems important to some of them). Also at some point they will no longer be young, mommy bloggers, what will it be like for them at that point? Will they end up like J-Rod, pretending they still look as young as their daughters?

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9 minutes ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

I agree. Imo, she doesn't exude the same joy in her Instagram stories with her kids as her sisters do with their kids. Of course this may be in part because her sisters are more successful at presenting the perfect Christian, mommy life on social media.  Also, at some point they have to realize they most likely won't be able to present the perfect "Instagram" life the more kids they have, especially if they are still living in a smallish home.  Well, that being said, apparently Erin is still able to do so with 5 kids.  Though I'm not impressed seeing the kids gathered around the kitchen island to do school work, with the baby in her carrier on the kitchen island as well. 🙄  

Also, the more kids they have, the less money they'll have for all the extras they can no longer live without, not to mention at some point they will no longer have their slim figures (which seems important to some of them). Also at some point they will no longer be young, mommy bloggers, what will it be like for them at that point? Will they end up like J-Rod, pretending they still look as young as their daughters?

I think this is going to be really hard for many of these women. They don’t have the naturally thin genes and everyone ages. It’s probably very good that the show has ended before the declines hit.

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I won’t be surprised if she has two more. But bigger spacing than the first few. You have to remember, Ally will be prime sister mom age in a few years. Alyssa will have a second mommy she can force to take care of the rest except for the current newborn.

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32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I won’t be surprised if she has two more. But bigger spacing than the first few. You have to remember, Ally will be prime sister mom age in a few years. Alyssa will have a second mommy she can force to take care of the rest except for the current newborn.

John comes from a family with 6 kids. I think the Websters’ life more mirrors his family vs hers. Plus she has mentioned the number 6 in the past too. I think fitting in is important to Alyssa, and to be honest, her family never fit in. They were considered odd by many, and AW seems to be the kind of person who would very much dislike being seen as on the fringe or odd.  Aside from having 4 kids, Alyssa seems to be making different lifestyle choices than how she was raised.

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4 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

Also, the more kids they have, the less money they'll have for all the extras they can no longer live without, not to mention at some point they will no longer have their slim figures (which seems important to some of them). Also at some point they will no longer be young, mommy bloggers, what will it be like for them at that point? Will they end up like J-Rod, pretending they still look as young as their daughters?

I think Alyssa and John will embrace the empty nest life. They'll be what, 45? when Maci is 18. That's YOUNG. With good luck and decent healthcare, they'll have 20 years or more of good health and relative beauty ahead of them still at that point; they can do all the things they didn't do (or did less of) in their 20s. They can travel, cruise, have dates, indulge in white couches and glass tabletops. Married kids will mean cute grandchildren whom they can love on and give back when the diaper gets full. Any girls still at home can be left on their own to do chores while A&J live it up. Even if they have a couple more kids in the next five years, that would only take them to 50. I really hope Alyssa does this math too, and stops the pregnancy train soon.

And there's also the slim figures, as you say, but more importantly there's overall health. I can see some of the Bates daughters watching Kelly's deteriorating health (she's already had a hospitalization this year) and wondering how much the endless childbearing contributed to that and deciding that they don't want that toll on their own bodies.

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Shocked at some of the questions they answered. I would actually be interested in seeing the rest do Q&As like that.

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I think Alyssa likes babies but does not enjoy children. My grandmother was apparently like this. She LOVED babies but apparently did not really enjoy motherhood or older children. She had 8 kids. 4 in 5 years, break of 7 years, then another 4 in 5 years (be sure she missed having babies) and  her older daughters did a lot of the raising of the younger ones.

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6 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I think Alyssa likes babies but does not enjoy children. My grandmother was apparently like this. She LOVED babies but apparently did not really enjoy motherhood or older children. She had 8 kids. 4 in 5 years, break of 7 years, then another 4 in 5 years (be sure she missed having babies) and  her older daughters did a lot of the raising of the younger ones.

I don’t think Alyssa likes babies. She likes to dress them up, and loves the fact that they stay in one place and don’t makes messes for her to clean up. I don’t think she cares for the dependence of babies though. Wasn’t she one who does cry it out fairly young and admits to early formula use for sleeping purposes. She and John love their alone time.

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On 3/18/2022 at 2:47 PM, 0 kids n not countin said:

I agree. Imo, she doesn't exude the same joy in her Instagram stories with her kids as her sisters do with their kids. Of course this may be in part because her sisters are more successful at presenting the perfect Christian, mommy life on social media.  Also, at some point they have to realize they most likely won't be able to present the perfect "Instagram" life the more kids they have, especially if they are still living in a smallish home.  Well, that being said, apparently Erin is still able to do so with 5 kids.  Though I'm not impressed seeing the kids gathered around the kitchen island to do school work, with the baby in her carrier on the kitchen island as well. 🙄  

Also, the more kids they have, the less money they'll have for all the extras they can no longer live without, not to mention at some point they will no longer have their slim figures (which seems important to some of them). Also at some point they will no longer be young, mommy bloggers, what will it be like for them at that point? Will they end up like J-Rod, pretending they still look as young as their daughters?

I think she will be nearly as bad as J-Rod. She will 100% post on Instagram every time someone asks if her and Allie are sisters. 

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17 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I think Alyssa likes babies but does not enjoy children. My grandmother was apparently like this. She LOVED babies but apparently did not really enjoy motherhood or older children. She had 8 kids. 4 in 5 years, break of 7 years, then another 4 in 5 years (be sure she missed having babies) and  her older daughters did a lot of the raising of the younger ones.

Alyssa uses the Babywise method. No way she loves the baby stage... Unless they are trained babies that sleep for long and entertain themselves.

She posts videos and photos of Maci, to show how cute she is. But it is never Alyssa playing with Maci, dancing with her or whatever mom&baby activity, it is always cute.baby.cute.dress.fullstop.

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