Webster4Eva 11: They don't know it's not vitally important to teach a 5 year old how to choose a man

[Queen Of Hearts]

13 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Why do you think they all have genetically high metabolisms? Michaela and Tori seem to be average weights with (probably) average metabolisms. The sisters who are most into fashion and instagramming are the super-skinny ones. So it's probably dieting/disordered eating, not genetic. 

 

Or, the ones who are into fashion and Instagramming do so because they fit the mold for those genres.  Those who do not fit into that mold would struggle to find the same level if success, sadly.

I am not going to diagnose any thin 20-something with an eating disorder.  Many girls their age can eat a ton and never gain anything (even I was like that when younger and I have never been naturally skinny).  Let's see what happens in their 40s......

I eat out a lot and restaurant portions are indeed big most places.  But I don't eat the whole thing.  I almost always have leftovers which I use for the next 1-2 lunches.  I assume this is the case with a lot of Instagrammers who post pics of their meals.

 

[SassyPants]

No matter how you slice it, mentioning that you usually just drink coffee and eat turkey bacon during the day is disordered/unhealthy eating! Doesn’t matter who is consuming it. We aren’t making assumptions, only going off AW’s own words. She could also be exaggerating or fabricating her intake. 

Maybe it was a sponsored comment for the bacon and CB coffee companies.

1 hour ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Or, the ones who are into fashion and Instagramming do so because they fit the mold for those genres.  Those who do not fit into that mold would struggle to find the same level if success, sadly.

I am not going to diagnose any thin 20-something with an eating disorder.  Many girls their age can eat a ton and never gain anything (even I was like that when younger and I have never been naturally skinny).  Let's see what happens in their 40s......

I eat out a lot and restaurant portions are indeed big most places.  But I don't eat the whole thing.  I almost always have leftovers which I use for the next 1-2 lunches.  I assume this is the case with a lot of Instagrammers who post pics of their meals.

 

In Josie’s case, Ive seen the same amount of food on her plate when she eats at home. Would you fill the plate just for a photo? This leaves me to wonder if some of these women are able to eat a whole lot without gaining an ounce. There are those rare people.

[SunnySide]

16 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

I wonder if this is the result of living in a poor family with 15+ mouths to feed. They seem to relish in the abundance of food, and then show it to their followers as though they'll be impressed too.  "Look at all I get to eat!"

*Trigger warning for anyone with ED/Food intake issues. *
 

 

My father grew up very poor. Eight kids and a single mom. Every kid in his family (my dad included) have or have had serious issues to this day with food. Everything from food hoarding, to eating massive portions of food in a short time. My dads health insurance covered the cost of a nutritionist so sometime in his late 30’s (he’s 60 now) his food habits became a lot healthier, but he still has lingering issues. I would not be surprised at all if food insecurity, a hyper focus on physical appearance, and lack of consistent mealtimes play into the issues the Bates kids have with food.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I don’t know if the Bates family practices religious fasting, but I think religious fasting in a huge family that already has some food insecurity must make thing 100 times worse. Anytime a fundie talks about fasting (like in the Rod family), it makes me worry for them. It’s just a difficult food situation made worse in my opinion. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

26 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

In Josie’s case, Ive seen the same amount of food on her plate when she eats at home. Would you fill the plate just for a photo? This leaves me to wonder if some of these women are able to eat a whole lot without gaining an ounce. There are those rare people.

Not that rare, in fact in my family it's the norm.  I have very slightly built sisters (Josie tiny) who have always eaten whatever they wanted to and have never been over a size four including post menopause.  My mom was always trying to gain 10 lbs as she was so thin despite eating like she should have weighed 300 lbs.  

If they are posting about unhealthy eating habits that's one thing, bacon and coffee only isn't nutritious intake for anyone.  But the women who are not posting stuff like that it's not any more okay to speculate on ED because they are thin than it is to body shame people for any other reason.  

[Jackie3]

2 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Or, the ones who are into fashion and Instagramming do so because they fit the mold for those genres.  Those who do not fit into that mold would struggle to find the same level if success, sadly.

Yes, this makes sense. I think Michaela and Tori would share all their private moments if only they were super-skinny and chic. They are frustrated because they can't be influencers. Yes, those genes are holding them back.

31 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

But the women who are not posting stuff like that it's not any more okay to speculate on ED because they are thin than it is to body shame people for any other reason.  

Most people seem to be talking about disordered eating. That is not the same as an eating disorder! Not at all. EDs can be life-threatening, and are thought to be brain-based. 

Seems quite possible Alyssa Webster has disordered eating. Turkey bacon is nice, but eating it all day, every day? She's doing that because it's a source of protein with no carbs. She doesn't want to gain weight.

There are other signs. The lack of fruits and veggies throughout her day (and the high level of sugar/caffeine/junk food) are certainly signs of possible disordered eating.

 

Edited February 11, 2022 by Jackie3

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

Yes, this makes sense. I think Michaela and Tori would share all their private moments if only they were super-skinny and chic. They are frustrated because they can't be influencers. Yes, those genes are holding them back.

Most people seem to be talking about disordered eating. That is not the same as an eating disorder! Not at all. EDs can be life-threatening, and are thought to be brain-based. 

Seems quite possible Alyssa Webster has disordered eating. Turkey bacon is nice, but eating it all day, every day? She's doing that because it's a source of protein with no carbs. She doesn't want to gain weight.

There are other signs. The lack of fruits and veggies throughout her day (and the high level of sugar/caffeine/junk food) are certainly signs of possible disordered eating.

 

Thank you for the clarification.  You are right, I was conflating ED with disordered eating.  I received extensive treatment for mine 100 years ago as a teen (including inpatient at one point) and some tune ups with various therapists over the years and I'd never had one draw that distinction before, but Professor Google confirmed you're right and they are two distinct things.

Thanks - I learned something new today.

[FluffySnowball]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

No matter how you slice it, mentioning that you usually just drink coffee and eat turkey bacon during the day is disordered/unhealthy eating! Doesn’t matter who is consuming it. We aren’t making assumptions, only going off AW’s own words. She could also be exaggerating or fabricating her intake. 

Maybe it was a sponsored comment for the bacon and CB coffee companies.

I don’t think it’s sponsored cause Alyssa wrote in her post about what she eats that it’s not healthy. If it were sponsored, she’d frame it differently. 

[SassyPants]

I also worry because as one of the parents to 4 daughters, what is she role modeling in terms of nutritious eating and leading a healthy life style? 

[HereticHick]

I just realized that because of the pandemic, I haven't seen Alyssa's FIL (Rep. Dan Webster) in person at work for almost 2 years, and yikes, he hasn't aged well!

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I just realized that because of the pandemic, I haven't seen Alyssa's FIL (Rep. Dan Webster) in person at work for almost 2 years, and yikes, he hasn't aged well!

Wouldn’t be surprised if he had Covid in the last two years! And it took its toll. I feel like most of the fundies have had it by now.

Edited February 11, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[UnicornHunter]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I also worry because as one of the parents to 4 daughters, what is she role modeling in terms of nutritious eating and leading a healthy life style? 

A big reason why this bothers me so much is because so many people look at her on Instagram and think badly of themselves because they have 1-2 kids and can’t bounce back to 110 lbs at two weeks postpartum “easily” like she does. Little do they know she’s eating nothing but bacon and one meal a day. It’s deceptive and disordered. 

[SorenaJ]

"Influencer" (which is the most bollocks term in the universe, as they are the least influential people ever. They influence fuck all) is not a dream career for everyone. I am not an "influencer", and I am thrilled! 

Eating only turkey bacon and coffee is absolutely disordered eating. It's honestly sick, and Alyssa is a horrible role model to those kids. She perpetuating a dangerous skinny-only ideology, and she is incredibly toxic. My heart breaks that the girls are stuck in that family for the next many years. 

[zee_four]

It's especially sad that "thinness" (not health) is encouraged among a lot of female fundies, examples like Jana being put on WW as a teenager, OfJB focusing on keeping as thin as she could giving birth 19 times with her elliptical etc., some of the Bates women's posts, etc. while men seem to get a pass, especially once they've been married and are the "head" and seem to get priority for everything. They can gain weight while their wives have to go through pregnancy, labor and breastfeeding, again and again and again, can't or are at least encouraged not to. When OfMeech and Smuggar "dieted" and "exercised" it was treated as a big joke and just for the show. 

Healthy eating and exercise aren't encouraged for men or women but what do you expect in cults and cult like cultures that are not healthy emotionally or psychologically either?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 hours ago, UnicornHunter said:

A big reason why this bothers me so much is because so many people look at her on Instagram and think badly of themselves because they have 1-2 kids and can’t bounce back to 110 lbs at two weeks postpartum “easily” like she does. Little do they know she’s eating nothing but bacon and one meal a day. It’s deceptive and disordered. 

How is it deceptive when she admits it.  And what if it wasn't due to disordered eating?  My mom tried to hang on to 10 lbs with each pregnancy since she liked her body better that way but the weight always fell off too quickly.   Should women like her not post on SM because it might make others feel bad it's not easy for them?

Hell, as her only daughter who didn't get the easy skinny gene I didn't appreciate it either, but it doesn't mean my sisters and mom are responsible for how I felt about myself since they weren't being effortlessly thin at me.  

[CanadianMamam]

I have terrible eating patterns because I don't get hungry. If i go long enough, I will get light headed but I don't get anything that specifically tells me I need food. So because of this, I often forget to eat if I am on my own. I eat scheduled meals because I live with 5 other people but left to my own, I am not great. Yesterday I literally just had some salami and olives as a snack because they looked tasty. 

I have always been relatively thin. Even at my heaviest I was a size 10 (I am also fairly tall).

Edited February 12, 2022 by CanadianMamam

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I have terrible eating patterns because I don't get hungry. If i go long enough, I will get light headed but I don't get anything that specifically tells me I need food. So because of this, I often forget to eat if I am on my own. I eat scheduled meals because I live with 5 other people but left to my own, I am not great. Yesterday I literally just had some salami and olives as a snack because they looked tasty. 

I have always been relatively thin. Even at my heaviest I was a size 10 (I am also fairly tall).

I was on a medication that gave me this problem and I had to set an alarm to remember to eat.

Worse though was it was also a thirst suppressant so I kept forgetting to drink anything.  After kidney stones I religiously set alarms and guzzled water like it was my job.

[CanadianMamam]

15 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I was on a medication that gave me this problem and I had to set an alarm to remember to eat.

Worse though was it was also a thirst suppressant so I kept forgetting to drink anything.  After kidney stones I religiously set alarms and guzzled water like it was my job.

My ADHD medicine definitely doesn’t help, because it is an appetite suppressant. I am pretty good at remembering to drink water, but only Becuase I keep a bottle by my side. But the forgetting to eat can be a major problem, less so now that I have kids Becuase they are great at reminding me to eat since they are always asking for food. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

30 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

My ADHD medicine definitely doesn’t help, because it is an appetite suppressant. I am pretty good at remembering to drink water, but only Becuase I keep a bottle by my side. But the forgetting to eat can be a major problem, less so now that I have kids Becuase they are great at reminding me to eat since they are always asking for food. 

It was my ADHD med too.  I don't have as much of an issue with regular Adderall or Adderall long lasting, but Vyvanse killed my thirst so completely I realized brushing my teeth was the most liquid that went in my mouth all day.

[SassyPants]

Yes, I do wonder this, does she have a piece of turkey bacon, or does she eat the entire package between breakfast and lunch?

Also, how much coffee each day? I’d be so jittery. At what time does she stop drinking coffee and expect to have a reasonable night’s sleep?

I hope NO ONE is taking nutritional advice from Alyssa-

On 2/12/2022 at 4:17 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

How is it deceptive when she admits it.  And what if it wasn't due to disordered eating?  My mom tried to hang on to 10 lbs with each pregnancy since she liked her body better that way but the weight always fell off too quickly.   Should women like her not post on SM because it might make others feel bad it's not easy for them?

Hell, as her only daughter who didn't get the easy skinny gene I didn't appreciate it either, but it doesn't mean my sisters and mom are responsible for how I felt about myself since they weren't being effortlessly thin at me.  

Thin by nature is a different element altogether. And of course, that’s not what we are talking about. As an example, Abbie Duggar is likely naturally thin. She is not on SM giving advice or talking about her diet and  exercise plans or posting photo after photo of herself, or complaining about her need to lose 5 lbs when she was 3 days post delivery.

IMO( and yes it’s only that), sometimes people are just looking for attention and affirmation-

[HerNameIsBuffy]

18 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Yes, I do wonder this, does she have a piece of turkey bacon, or does she eat the entire package between breakfast and lunch?

Also, how much coffee each day? I’d be so jittery. At what time does she stop drinking coffee and expect to have a reasonable night’s sleep?

I hope NO ONE is taking nutritional advice from Alyssa-

Thin by nature is a different element altogether. And of course, that’s not what we are talking about. As an example, Abbie Duggar is likely naturally thin. She is not on SM giving advice or talking about her diet and  exercise plans or posting photo after photo of herself, or complaining about her need to lose 5 lbs when she was 3 days post delivery.

IMO( and yes it’s only that), sometimes people are just looking for attention and affirmation-

My point was it's not deceptive because she's admitting what she does.  She's not claiming it happened "easily" as the post I was quoting had said.

Perhaps I misunderstood what that poster was saying about other people feeling bad seeing people seemingly to easily drop the weight, but that's how it read to me.  That's never going to be the fault of people for whom it comes easier than others and I know from my mom thin shaming is a real thing.  Being accused of having an ED because you are naturally slender is a real thing.  Being told they need to eat more when they're trying to gain a bit to get to where they feel more comfortable with their bodies is no more okay than telling people who are a bit overweight that they need to eat less.

Body shaming does work both ways which was my only point.  

[byzant]

I totally get that and it might be interpretation but I was think  @SassyPants was saying the behavior was disordered which it does seem ( caffeine to suppress hunger and salty bacon not actual balance  meals and repeating the same lack of meals every day) - not just she's thin so therefore must have an Ed? 

 

Also @CanadianMamam would also highly recommend setting and alarm and having easy unchallenging food you can just grab- I use hummus celery and flat bread or soup or porridge oat bars when meds mucked up my hunger 

Edited February 13, 2022 by byzant
Sp

[JermajestyDuggar]

Since people are talking about this, I urge everyone to read why skinny shaming and fat shaming are different (although both are destructive). As someone whose dealt with both, I agree that they are very different. 
 

https://www.self.com/story/skinny-shaming-is-not-the-same-as-fat-phobia/amp

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Since people are talking about this, I urge everyone to read why skinny shaming and fat shaming are different (although both are destructive). As someone whose dealt with both, I agree that they are very different. 
 

https://www.self.com/story/skinny-shaming-is-not-the-same-as-fat-phobia/amp

I've also dealt with both.  By which I mean I've been both too thin and overweight, but the only time I've been body shamed was when I was too thin.  I am aware it does happen more frequently to those who are overweight, but I've just never experienced it personally.

 

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Since people are talking about this, I urge everyone to read why skinny shaming and fat shaming are different (although both are destructive). As someone whose dealt with both, I agree that they are very different. 
 

https://www.self.com/story/skinny-shaming-is-not-the-same-as-fat-phobia/amp

That article starts out with a story that is so extreme as to be exceedingly rare if it ever happened, and then proclaims that happens to fat people "all the time" which is absolutely does not.

I didn't finish reading as the premise is so OTT it's something out Buzzfeed or the Onion.

Edited February 13, 2022 by HerNameIsBuffy

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I've also dealt with both.  By which I mean I've been both too thin and overweight, but the only time I've been body shamed was when I was too thin.  I am aware it does happen more frequently to those who are overweight, but I've just never experienced it personally.

 

That article starts out with a story that is so extreme as to be exceedingly rare if it ever happened, and then proclaims that happens to fat people "all the time" which is absolutely does not.

I didn't finish reading as the premise is so OTT it's something out Buzzfeed or the Onion.

The thing is, fat phobia is systemic in our culture while skinny shaming is not. That’s the biggest difference between the two.

Here is another link if you want. This is just one woman’s opinion. But she brings up how fat shaming is systemic. There are plenty of links I can provide stating that fat shaming and skinny shaming are inherently different due to our culture and beliefs around fatness.

ETA: I’ll provide a better link. https://www.nylon.com/beauty/body-shaming-vs-systemic-fatphobia/amp

Edited February 13, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar