Lina's barf worthy 1 month anniversary post

[2xx1xy1JD]

Dear Lina:

If you spend the morning in your PJs, and you aren't sick or dealing with a newborn, then you are not "busy".

Is the hubby bothering to learn any likes or dislikes, or is pleasing a spouse strictly women's work?

[Witsec1]

I didn't make my home smell like pumpkins, but I think I still managed it pretty well.

Pumpkin on its own doesn't smell that nice, so that's probably a good thing

Lina either lit a "pumpkin" scented candle or opened a can of pumpkin pie filling. Am taking the day off today since I worked Saturday teaching a class. After I dig a new garden bed and put down a cover crop of buckwheat, I plan to cut up one one of the pumpkins I grew, and make a curry pumpkin soup and pumpkin bread, and freeze the rest for pie. In between answering my business emails that can't wait until tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I'll be doing some shopping and dropping some supplies off at our local Occupy encampment.

I couldn't stand to be as idle as Lina.

[Dev83]

I didn't make my home smell like pumpkins, but I think I still managed it pretty well.

My house smells like cinnamon and apple! And I didn't have to quit work to make it happen. I bought a glade plug in.

[GeoBQn]

I followed the 'homemaking' tag to see what else she's written on the subject and came across this gem (asetapartlife.blogspot.com/2010/10/challenge-persian-rice.html):

Quote:

Is that not the most Linaesque dish possible? Persian rice with tortillas arranged like a Star of David. Just throwing cultures together all over the place!

She got the recipe from a Persian kosher food blogger that put out a book last year, though I think in the book the Star of David tortillas are made with regular bread and can be any shape you want. It's a traditional Persian way of adding a decorative crust to rice. The blogger, Reyna, has an interesting backstory. She was born in Venezuela and raised Catholic, then converted (for real, LINA!) to Orthodox Judaism before marrying her Persian Jewish husband. I noticed Reyna posted a thank you on Lina's blog. I doubt she would be so flattered if she read the rest of Lina's blog.

[Shirley MacLaine]

My house smells like cinnamon and apple! And I didn't have to quit work to make it happen. I bought a glade plug in.

Hahahahaha, totally. My house smells like blueberry scones, because candle.

[Dinorah]

I just love the rabbi quotes and references to sukkot mixed with the Christian fundie lingo of helpmeets and being a blank canvas for your husband.

[atheistjd]

I don't know too much about CFS, but I do know people who have suffered from it and accomplished a heck of a lot more than either Lina or Anna T. Is it possible they suffer from some variation of that disease? I honestly just do not understand the complete lack of work ethic or motivation absent some explanation like that. And I know there are people for whom it really *is* that difficult to get out of bed, shower, work, or what have you. They just don't typically try to say G-d made ALL women that way and therefore those of us who actually contribute to society are in sin or unnatural...

[O Latin]

Dear Lina:

If you spend the morning in your PJs, and you aren't sick or dealing with a newborn, then you are not "busy".

Is the hubby bothering to learn any likes or dislikes, or is pleasing a spouse strictly women's work?

I don't know if that's entirely fair. I can get a whole lot done in my pajamas if I don't have to get ready and leave the house right away. Not that I think she is getting a lot done in her PJs, just saying that wearing pajamas does not necessarily equal not being productive.

[Spider Burps]

I liken Lina to a tofu in a sense that just like the tofu takes on flavor(s) of the other components of the dish, Lina takes on, absorbs, and integrates the attitudes, mannerisms of other people who happen to be around her.

:clap: That made me giggle out loud. GOL?

I am a stay at home fiance with no kids, living in a one bedroom apartment and I somehow manage to have a busier day than she does. Sure, there's lots of time to dick around on the Internet/watch TV/read, but I still manage to make all of our food including bread from scratch (and the desserts I whip up are more along the lines of souffles, not just vague "fall desserts") which makes the house smell good without the need for stanky ass candles. Might I add that I do this while spending all day, every day in excruciating pain and that I never get a good night's sleep because of said pain? I don't feel compelled to blog about it though because I assume anyone who would read my blog would petition to get it removed from the 'net due to how boring it would be!

Also, one of my former clients (when I actually worked!) is a Jewish convert and she never called her husband by name, but just called him "my husband". Due to the nature of my work, I carry on conversations with my clients during our time working together, so she knew my fiance's name, what he did, where he went to school, etc. Made me feel weird that I only knew that she had a husband who spoke better Hebrew than she did. *scratches head* Is it some sort of overly-enthusiastic Jewish convert thing?

[defrauding]

I'm not surprised Lina feels busy despite her light schedule. Can you imagine how much time it takes her to stumble through a blessing before she eats something? "Bar-uck... ba-rutch... ba-rook..."

[Shirley MacLaine]

Is it some sort of overly-enthusiastic Jewish convert thing?

I think it's just an overly-enthusiastic (newly?) married person thing. You should see my facebook feed, it's completely out of control/insane in the membrane.

[Mommy22alyns]

Hahahahaha, totally. My house smells like blueberry scones, because candle.

LMAO!! My house always smells awesome because candle.

[StarrieEyedKat]

You know, I'll be the first to admit that I'm lazy - my general day consists of me wearing pajamas and spending a fair amount of time on facebook and FJ, and I'm horrible about housekeeping in general, although I do keep up on dishes and laundry and general clutter. But you know what I do every single day, 24/7? I chase a highly energetic 3 year old and a 10 month old around and take care of them. All day. Every day. It doesn't ever stop, I don't get "breaks" and I don't get to just relax or take a nap or read a book or go on an outing without major planning and execution issues.

You know that errand you had to run today? Let's say you had to go to the store and get some the ingredients for your special fall dessert. You probably just changed out of your PJ's, maybe took a shower, got dressed and went to the store. Wanna know how that's going to go when you have a couple of kids? Here's your sneak peek into what it takes for me to run a quick errand:

-Make sure baby has eaten recently so she's not cranky at the store

-Try to sneak into the shower while the baby is in the playpen and 3 year old is watching a TV show - if unsuccessful, 3 year old will climb in shower with you, which is more often than not how it works out

-Hop out of shower, dry off and quickly get dressed while 3 year old streaks through the house giggling and soaking wet (No makeup or hairstyling optional)

-Wrangle giggly 3 year old, try to sweet talk him into getting dressed - when that doesn't work, hold him down and stuff him into clothing while he wiggles - shoes get you bonus points

-Make sure diaper bag is stocked with the bare minimum - diapers, wipes, emergency clothes for potty training 3 year old, emergency bottle for 10 month old

-Get 10 month old into fresh diaper and cute clothes that are more abundant and nicer than yours

-Put 10 month old in carseat and make sure you have a pacifier and toy for her, else you'll be the mom with the screaming baby at the store

-Locate keys (in the fridge?!) and maneuver purse, diaper bag, crazy 3 year old and carseat with 20 lb 10 month old out to the car. Bonus point if 3 year old doesn't try to run into the street

-Stuff all of the above into the car, including buckling wiggly 3 year old into his car seat

-Drive to store while listening to 3 year old talk endlessly and try to wiggle out of his carseat straps to open the window

-Park near a cart corral so you don't have to lug 3 year old, 10 month old, diaper bag and purse across the parking lot without the aid of the cart

-Find the groceries you need, in addition to the yogurt and fruit the 3 year old demands and you give in since it's not candy

-Lug 3 year old, 10 month old, purse and diaper bag into the bathroom to change baby's smelly diaper. Bonus points if you keep 3 year old from looking under the stall doors

-Try to check out while keeping the 3 year old in the cart since he's trying to run towards the horsey ride you promised if he was good

-Let 3 year old ride horsey twice cause it's so cute when he yells "Yee-haw, I'm a cowboy!!"

-Wrangle groceries (bonus points if the bananas don't get bruised), 10 month old, 3 year old, diaper bag and purse back into the car and drive home.

-Unload children, then groceries - this includes playing goalie to keep the 3 year old from running out the door while you bring in groceries

-Get 10 month old out of carseat, remove 3 year old's shoes and collapse on couch for a few moments before putting groceries away.

Lina - I get that you're newly married and smug and loving your "keeper of home" status. And that's fine, really it is! But chicka - you are NOT busy. I promise you.

[Spider Burps]

I think it's just an overly-enthusiastic (newly?) married person thing. You should see my facebook feed, it's completely out of control/insane in the membrane.

See, I would normally think that it was a newly married thing, but she and her husband had been married for 25 years, which is why I wondered if it was a variation of the "my darling husband"/"my lovely wife" thing that Christians seem to have been doing recently.

[skankbiscuit]

What I can't get over is the fact that Lina married her stalker. Has anyone asked her why the change of heart - I mean didn't she shut down her FB because she was so creeped out by him?

[Shirley MacLaine]

You know, I'll be the first to admit that I'm lazy - my general day consists of me wearing pajamas and spending a fair amount of time on facebook and FJ, and I'm horrible about housekeeping in general, although I do keep up on dishes and laundry and general clutter. But you know what I do every single day, 24/7? I chase a highly energetic 3 year old and a 10 month old around and take care of them. All day. Every day. It doesn't ever stop, I don't get "breaks" and I don't get to just relax or take a nap or read a book or go on an outing without major planning and execution issues.

Awwww, you're not lazy! I'm lazy. I'm loathe chores and exist in a state of total grunge/gnarliness in my house most of the time and I don't have children and I'm unemployed.

I take lots of relaxing walks and trips to the library, though. What a sweet blessing! or whatever Anna T always says.

[Spider Burps]

I take lots of relaxing walks and trips to the library, though. What a sweet blessing! or whatever Anna T always says.

I totally dig on the relaxing walks and trips to the library! They're the best part of not working. Only the library is two blocks away, so I get to take relaxing walks to the library which is the sweetest blessing of all. ;)

[Shirley MacLaine]

I totally dig on the relaxing walks and trips to the library! They're the best part of not working. Only the library is two blocks away, so I get to take relaxing walks to the library which is the sweetest blessing of all. ;)

Oh man, that is so baller. I take my relaxing walks to the library as well, but it's juuuuuust far enough away that it seems like a pain in the ass 9/10 days.

[kayray]

I totally dig on the relaxing walks and trips to the library! They're the best part of not working. Only the library is two blocks away, so I get to take relaxing walks to the library which is the sweetest blessing of all. ;)

I am working, but still, I take most of my relaxing walks to my iPad as it lays wherever I last put it, from which I download books from my library. I save actual physical trips to the library with my husband. Because he likes that and it is such a sweet blessing to spend time together geeking out in the book stacks.

The library is fantastic, in all its forms. It truly is a blessing.

[kayray]

See, I would normally think that it was a newly married thing, but she and her husband had been married for 25 years, which is why I wondered if it was a variation of the "my darling husband"/"my lovely wife" thing that Christians seem to have been doing recently.

Yeah, I know non-overly-enthusiastic Jewish (non) converts who constantly refer to their spouse as "my bf/fiance/husband" all the time as well to point I do not know their actual names, unless I ever get the chance to introduce myself to them. I find it more of a possessive thing or an insecure "look at me, I am worthy and I shall validate it by ensuring others are always aware of my coupledom and the fact that someone "chose" me!". Also it just reinforces that whole "we are awkward around each other unless we are role playing" thing I find so odd amongst adults.

The first time I am talking about my husband to someone who has not met him, I will usually say "my husband, B" to explain the relationship. but from then on in I refer to him as "B". On message boards I will usually say "H" or my husband, etc unless I am a regular and then I may refer to him as "B" since other regulars know what I mean. He does the same. It is just weird to purposely not call each other by our actual given names, in my opinion.

[Jessica]

StarrieEyedKat, amen! Add to that list "Stop every 5 feet to pick up all the avocados and apples the toddler threw out of the cart because he thinks they're balls and will bounce" and "Hang laundry to dry 2-4 times more than necessary because the toddler thinks pulling down the clothes is hilarious. Chase after toddler as he runs screeching happily into the street because your yard isn't fenced in on one side and if you had left him inside he'd be crying hysterically and collapsed on the floor in a puddle of sweat and tears." ;)

[Spider Burps]

Also it just reinforces that whole "we are awkward around each other unless we are role playing" thing I find so odd amongst adults.

:lol:

At least I'm not the only one baffled/weirded out by this. I always introduce my fiance the same way you introduce your husband, but my fiance is a total space cadet and has the tendency to forget to introduce me to anyone (even when I first went to his office to meet his ENTIRE TEAM for drinks), so I get to be the bitch and stick out my hand and say, "Hi there! My name is Spider Burps, I'm MyFiance's fiancee, nice to meet you!"

[ilovetchotchkes]

StarrieEyedKat, amen! Add to that list "Stop every 5 feet to pick up all the avocados and apples the toddler threw out of the cart because he thinks they're balls and will bounce" and "Hang laundry to dry 2-4 times more than necessary because the toddler thinks pulling down the clothes is hilarious. Chase after toddler as he runs screeching happily into the street because your yard isn't fenced in on one side and if you had left him inside he'd be crying hysterically and collapsed on the floor in a puddle of sweat and tears." ;)

Wtf are you spying on me or something????? :D :D :D

My sister says that toddlers are "feral adults".....

[StarrieEyedKat]

StarrieEyedKat, amen! Add to that list "Stop every 5 feet to pick up all the avocados and apples the toddler threw out of the cart because he thinks they're balls and will bounce" and "Hang laundry to dry 2-4 times more than necessary because the toddler thinks pulling down the clothes is hilarious. Chase after toddler as he runs screeching happily into the street because your yard isn't fenced in on one side and if you had left him inside he'd be crying hysterically and collapsed on the floor in a puddle of sweat and tears." ;)

Yeah, I had to shorten my list for brevity because the 3 year old was climbing on me. And by climbing on me I mean sitting on my shoulder trying to perch himself on my head. I also left out "Pull the car over twice to rebuckle child into carseat and threaten life and limb if he unbuckles himself again" and "Hush 3 year old when he says or does embarrassing things, like pointing to a very large person and saying "Look, a giant!""

And Lina - that's just to go to the store, that's not even touching on the rest of the day. Or bedtime, oy vey...bedtime.

[Kitty]

Lina is the real-life faux-Jewish version of Bella Swan. Constantly patting herself on the back for being so0o0o0o hard-working, smug, vastly overestimating her intelligence... not to mention in a relationship with a sparkly vampire creepy motherfucker who stalked her and wouldn't have sex with her until marriage, regardless of what she wanted.

I admit I'm a tad surprised she's not already pregnant with a noticeable baby bump and considering naming the baby Taliban Tony Jr.