Maxwell 52: Retired Vests, Retired Blog, and Retired Maxwells

[Howl]

I suspect that Teri was drinking Pepsi all day to get a steady supply of sugar and a bit of caffeine to somehow keep going as she battled untreated depression. 

[nausicaa]

42 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Now I have to know, what kind did he want you to wear?

I rarely wear funky jewelry but these earrings (yellow tassels) matched my dress and we were doing an outdoor art walk so I thought kinda funky jewelry suited the occasion. He mentioned them being bright and later when I was adjusting one after it was coming off, he said very solemnly "Yeah, let's just keep them off." 

He also announced that he "wasn't a skirt guy" while I was wearing a sundress. He expected me to learn all about cars because he was into them. When I jokingly asked if he would be learning all about ice dance then, he made a face and said "God no." The hypocrisy seemed lost on him. 

Needless to say, didn't work out. 😑

Edited January 28, 2022 by nausicaa

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I hate to be this person, but I wasn't around when the world shattered and Sarah, Anna, and Mary were allowed to leave the fenced in yard.  If someone remembers about when this happened to I can find the right old threads and enjoy this chapter from the beginning I'd appreciate an assist.  

 

 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I rarely wear funky jewelry but these earrings (yellow tassels) matched my dress and we were doing an outdoor art walk so I thought kinda funky jewelry suited the occasion. He mentioned them being bright and later when I was adjusting one after it was coming off, he said very solemnly "Yeah, let's just keep them off." 

He also announced that he "wasn't a skirt guy" while I was wearing a sundress. He expected me to learn all about cars because he was into them. When I jokingly asked if he would be learning all about ice dance then, he made a face and said "God no." The hypocrisy seemed lost on him. 

Needless to say, didn't work out. 😑

Wow.  Just wow.  Are you sure you didn't fall into a portal and end up dating Steve from the past?  

[MamaJunebug]

On 1/26/2022 at 1:01 PM, Black Aliss said:

I've probably mentioned this before but I over the years I've gotten to know, through their wives and children, many Boeing Aerospace/Aeronautical engineers and they are, to a man, controlling assholes of varying degrees. Not saying they all are, but I haven't met one yet that I'd want to spend time with.

Thank you.  Admittedly my sample size is tiny, but I know two Boeing engineers, males married to women who are obviously not as educated, experienced or socially adept.   TTBOMK there is mutual respect - I’ve never seen anything else in my rare interactions with them in public. 
But it did make me wonder that the pairings seem so unbalanced.  As if the guys are emphasizing their achievements in contrast to their wives’ rough edges. 

Things that make me go “hmm.”

And I’m  not shading couples with widely varying backgrounds, lesser or more educated people, more or less experienced or socially adept.  I’m just reporting what I’ve observed.  #notJudging
 

 

[Black Aliss]

On 1/26/2022 at 4:39 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder if they will be devastated when they graduate. 

Anna might. Somehow I don't see Mary coming home except to prepare for her wedding. She and that handsome young man seem to find themselves sitting together in virtually every photo we see.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Anna might. Somehow I don't see Mary coming home except to prepare for her wedding. She and that handsome young man seem to find themselves sitting together in virtually every photo we see.

I hope Anna finds something meaningful in her life. Not necessarily a man like Mary. But a job or volunteer work she enjoys. I wonder if Sarah would allow her to come live with her after she graduates. 

[SassyPants]

Am I crazy but doesn’t Anna present as the Maxwell daughter most aligned with being a homemaker and mother? I never saw Sarah as particularly well suited, but Anna seemed to thrive in the kitchen and caring for children. Not sure about Mary. If Anna wants to be a wife and mother, I hope that it happens for her. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

 

Quote

Seeing all the activities these girls are involved in and the socializing that they are doing with their peers, I wonder if either gal is resentful or feels robbed of all the time that Steve stole from them? 

Actually, I hope they do do feel resentful, robbed and somewhat angry, and then recognize what a controlling asshat Steve was to do the things he did. 

I hope they take that knowledge and spread it far and wide among their brothers.  Show the potential mini-Stevehovahs that nothing bad happened to then because they went away, got an education, made friends and had fun. Work on them to loosen up with their families.

I'd like Sarah to be part of this new "ministry of more normalcy." Sarah was nearly 40 before she had any agency about her life. Even if she didn't want to marry, she has to know her life would have been less stifled, restricted and stunted if Steve hadn't been such an asshat.

I don't think Steve loosened the reins on his daughters because he realized it was the right thing to do.  I think he realized that no godly young men were ever going to show up and the optics of grown women forced to live at home looked very bad for his brand.

Edited January 28, 2022 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Black Aliss]

43 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Thank you.  Admittedly my sample size is tiny, but I know two Boeing engineers, males married to women who are obviously not as educated, experienced or socially adept.   TTBOMK there is mutual respect - I’ve never seen anything else in my rare interactions with them in public. 
But it did make me wonder that the pairings seem so unbalanced.  As if the guys are emphasizing their achievements in contrast to their wives’ rough edges. 

Things that make me go “hmm.”

And I’m  not shading couples with widely varying backgrounds, lesser or more educated people, more or less experienced or socially adept.  I’m just reporting what I’ve observed.  #notJudging
 

 

Two of the ones I know go out of their way to diminish their wives' accomplishments and intellect. Even though they themselves have BS degrees and their wives have advanced degrees. One friend was enjoying some success as a potter, but then the person whose kiln she borrowed moved away. Her husband forbad her to go to this co-op pottery studio in the city, claiming it was too dangerous. It's in an area full of art galleries, cafe's, sports stadiums and tech startups.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I don't think Steve loosened the reins on his daughters because he realized it was the right thing to do.  I think he realized that no godly young men were ever going to show up and the optics of grown women forced to live at home looked very bad for his brand.

I don't think for a second he did it because it was the right thing to do, but I'm not sure it was just about the brand.  How much can that brand be bringing in these days?  

I think it may have been plain old fashioned pragmatism.  Expecting the boys to take on financial support and basically custody of their sisters is a risky endeavor and I do think he cares enough about his daughters to want them to be able to function and avoid poverty once he and Teri are gone.  

[Coconut Flan]

I think the pandemic forcing them out of the Steve lead services to full time more normal church attendance caused the pastor to speak truth to Steve with biblical backup.  Added to that some of the sons taking control of their lives and probably pushing Steve lead to his having to let go of some of the tight control.  

[SassyPants]

59 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think the pandemic forcing them out of the Steve lead services to full time more normal church attendance caused the pastor to speak truth to Steve with biblical backup.  Added to that some of the sons taking control of their lives and probably pushing Steve lead to his having to let go of some of the tight control.  

Yep, especially about some of the sons. Those sons needed Steve to let up, so they themselves and likely at the prompting of their spouses, could let up a bit with their own children. I can’t imagine many parents wanting to repeat Steve and T’s style of parenting. The elder Maxwells’ parenting style presents as completely devoid of joy, individualism and personal growth. I am sure Nathan, Joe and John want far more for their children”s lives than what S and T promoted.

[EmmieJ]

2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I rarely wear funky jewelry but these earrings (yellow tassels) matched my dress and we were doing an outdoor art walk so I thought kinda funky jewelry suited the occasion. He mentioned them being bright and later when I was adjusting one after it was coming off, he said very solemnly "Yeah, let's just keep them off." 

He also announced that he "wasn't a skirt guy" while I was wearing a sundress. He expected me to learn all about cars because he was into them. When I jokingly asked if he would be learning all about ice dance then, he made a face and said "God no." The hypocrisy seemed lost on him. 

Needless to say, didn't work out. 😑

Well, the good news is you got to see the red flags very early on before you invested much time in the potential relationship.  

[fundiewatch]

Do we know what Anna Marie’s brother does? She’s from a small family, very supportive. Her younger sister appears to be thriving at home and was a huge support to her through cancer. (For anyone who doesn’t follow, little sister has albinism and is adopted. In very old threads someone came here claiming that she was very impaired and that’s clearly false and what a cruel lie. That said, she is not a typical SAHD.) While Anna Marie appears to love her life and homeschooling, I really wouldn’t be surprised if motherhood or even her cancer diagnosis inspired her to want choices for her daughters. The mothership had gotten so weird since all the reversal boys left and the girls just stayed home. Anna’s cancer also happened during COVID. Once she returned home they really WERE extended family, with Sarah Grace, because they needed to be careful. And AM of course did just fine. The aunts had more time. Joe and Elissa moved away as did Jesse. Now THAT is the whirlwind Sarah always speaks of! I also feel like the girls gently broke the idea in by first either doing summer/mission programming, or the online only programming.  Then, what do you know daddy, this program is so good for missions and the pastor recommends it… Steve already defended this pastor, saying he’d felt led to find a place to invite friends and lo and behold he found this guy preaching truth right in his own area. Oh, and Sarah’s concussions and corresponding screenings and treatment. It’s been such a good ride!
 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, fundiewatch said:

Do we know what Anna Marie’s brother does? She’s from a small family, very supportive. Her younger sister appears to be thriving at home and was a huge support to her through cancer. (For anyone who doesn’t follow, little sister has albinism and is adopted. In very old threads someone came here claiming that she was very impaired and that’s clearly false and what a cruel lie. That said, she is not a typical SAHD.) While Anna Marie appears to love her life and homeschooling, I really wouldn’t be surprised if motherhood or even her cancer diagnosis inspired her to want choices for her daughters. The mothership had gotten so weird since all the reversal boys left and the girls just stayed home. Anna’s cancer also happened during COVID. Once she returned home they really WERE extended family, with Sarah Grace, because they needed to be careful. And AM of course did just fine. The aunts had more time. Joe and Elissa moved away as did Jesse. Now THAT is the whirlwind Sarah always speaks of! I also feel like the girls gently broke the idea in by first either doing summer/mission programming, or the online only programming.  Then, what do you know daddy, this program is so good for missions and the pastor recommends it… Steve already defended this pastor, saying he’d felt led to find a place to invite friends and lo and behold he found this guy preaching truth right in his own area. Oh, and Sarah’s concussions and corresponding screenings and treatment. It’s been such a good ride!
 

OT but your cat looks so much like my Griffin when I see your avatar it makes me smile, like he got bored while mommy was at work and signed up for FJ on his own!

You're very insightful and this may be very likely.  A huge scare like that can make people do a lot of wondering about the what-ifs of life and rethink a lot of things.  I also wonder if with Steve and Teri getting older the idea that the sons would have to care for their sisters if they didn't launch had to be a concern for C and A without much money.  Sure, people do that for family if it's necessary - but it shouldn't be because grown women who would otherwise have been able to fend for themselves can't simply due to being sheltered.

Just looking from the outside I think Joe may deserve a lot of the credit for giving Jesse the courage to leave the mothership.  Not that he wouldn't have anyway, but seeing an older sibling forge a healthier path can help.  

[kpmom]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hate to be this person, but I wasn't around when the world shattered and Sarah, Anna, and Mary were allowed to leave the fenced in yard.  If someone remembers about when this happened to I can find the right old threads and enjoy this chapter from the beginning I'd appreciate an assist.  

 

 

 

The ones just before this, Maxwell 51 and probably some of Maxwell 50, should tell you all you need to know I think.

ETA:  Yes, I just looked at Maxwell 50 (which I should have done before I wrote the above) and that's where most of the earth shattering began. 

Edited January 28, 2022 by kpmom

[Maggie Mae]

@Black Aliss @nausicaa @MamaJunebug You ladies are triggering some repressed dating memories! I'm wondering if it's specifically Boeing Engineers or just general aviation engineering and piloting that attracts the controlling weirdos. 

There was a blind date and the dude was like unhinged because my credit card still had the stupid sticker on it. Like, who cares? It bothered him so much he took it out of the book when the server returned our cards and took the sticker off for me. 

There was a guy who was concerned that in the future I would continue to "waste time in non-profits" when I could make so much more money at Corporation. 

The dude who asked me to change my outfit because "no one around here dresses like that." 

I don't miss dating. 

[ElizaB]

8 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hate to be this person, but I wasn't around when the world shattered and Sarah, Anna, and Mary were allowed to leave the fenced in yard.  If someone remembers about when this happened to I can find the right old threads and enjoy this chapter from the beginning I'd appreciate an assist.  

 

 

 

Also, if you look at their blog the official announcement from them is still the latest post. It is an interesting read. 

[Cults-r-us]

8 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Anna might. Somehow I don't see Mary coming home except to prepare for her wedding. She and that handsome young man seem to find themselves sitting together in virtually every photo we see.

Probably not, because now she sees the world has possibilities. She can take her degree and get a JOB like her sister Sarah. She never needs to return to the fenced-in yard, except to visit, help her mom clean the ceiling fans oer maybe have a Maxwell bean burrito making party (for old time's sake).

[theologygeek]

On the bible college facebook page, is that Mary sitting next to her guy friend?  I can't tell.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

On the bible college facebook page, is that Mary sitting next to her guy friend?  I can't tell.  

At the basketball game? I would say yes. It looks like him (his name is Samuel Hock).

[Joyster]

23 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hate to be this person, but I wasn't around when the world shattered and Sarah, Anna, and Mary were allowed to leave the fenced in yard.  If someone remembers about when this happened to I can find the right old threads and enjoy this chapter from the beginning I'd appreciate an assist.  

 

 

 

Maxhell 49: Recipes for Those Who Can't Cook: the rumor starts on page 17.  It's a great drama and the joy felt by FJers when there was proof was contagious!    

[socalrules]

I don’t think Steve expects Anna and Mary to come back after graduation to live at home and clean ceiling fans. I am sure they would be allowed back if they wanted but you don’t finally release them to go away to college for four years and expect them to come back in the same mindset. They are out of the house experiencing a new life. You can’t unring that bell. At most, they might move back home while they looked for jobs or saved enough to move out on their own. 

[Black Aliss]

21 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

While Anna Marie appears to love her life and homeschooling, I really wouldn’t be surprised if motherhood or even her cancer diagnosis inspired her to want choices for her daughters.

whoops. What did I miss? What changed for the kids? Public school?