"M" Is for Mama 12: Birth Control Should Have Been Your BFF

[JermajestyDuggar]

38 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

I've been on ignore with Abbie. Today she's bitching about people who don't help out when parents have unruly kids at the grocery store. Can you imagine trying to bag apples for Abbie while one of her kids scream? She would probably make a post about how some woman tried helping and picked out non-organic apples and nearly poisoned her children. I'm a little fuzzy on the overall message of this post but it's probably about being grateful for screaming kids? I don't know.

Abbie being Abbie, takes the opportunity to dig at Shiloh yet again. It's really sad that she taught all the kids to employ sarcasm towards him. Imagine being Shiloh, you're small and frustrated and screaming. Instead of Abbie helping him navigate, she makes a smartass remark and all the other kids stand around and laugh. I hate this so much. Poor baby. 

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I can tell you right now, if my husband, my older son, and I all said something sarcastic about my youngest while he was having one of his millions of meltdowns during age 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, it would have made things intensely worse. When younger son was having a bad day, the worst thing you could do is comment on his behavior and laugh. He always took it as everyone was making fun of him. It got him even madder and the tantrum would last much longer. I’m betting Braggie made Shiloh’s meltdowns much worse by being an asshole and laughing with her kids at him. Yes, she was laughing at him because I guarantee Shiloh took it as them laughing at him. She is a heinous mother. I hope Shiloh leaves the minute he turns 18 and never looks back.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 3/9/2022 at 11:37 AM, anachronistic said:

She complains about being a single parent when Shaun is on a work trip. That is RIDICULOUS. She has not and never will experience being a single parent, and her flat out lying really boils me today. The older kids and her parents do 3/4 of the parenting to begin with.

I’m thinking of the single parents I know, now and in my life, most of whom have struggled more in the past 2 years than Abbie has ever struggled in her life. And it is not easy, ever. She gets so many breaks. Single parents don’t get breaks. Single parenting is never having a date night, not in years. It’s being chronically sleep deprived because your kid gets up 3 times a night and there is nobody bit you to get up with them and put them back in bed. It’s having to call the school, and the doctor, and the vet, because nobody else will. It’s quarantining 3 times in 5 months when someone in your house gets or is exposed to COVID, attempting to work from home and just giving in and letting your kids free on YouTube kids because then they are quiet for five whole minutes. It’s having nobody to remind you of the things you forgot. It’s never living for yourself, just living for your kids.

For DECADES.

STFU Abbie. If your a single parent when Shaun travels then I’m a flying frog.

It annoys me that Abbie calls herself a single parent when she probably judges other people who are single parents aside from widowed single parents. She probably looks down on people who are divorced or never married and had kids. I bet she'd be really snotty if she met a woman raising kids who has never been married.

How much help parents have varies family to family. I've known married couples who've had almost no help besides each other, and I've known single parents who had lots of help from other relatives. One friend is a single mom and she has her parents, her siblings and their spouses and her ex- to help, plus maybe some of her ex's family. Another person I knew had help from her older kids (still kids) in taking care of her youngest after her husband died. She had a job and needed help with the younger kids while at work. 

[EmiSue]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

I've been on ignore with Abbie. Today she's bitching about people who don't help out when parents have unruly kids at the grocery store. Can you imagine trying to bag apples for Abbie while one of her kids scream? She would probably make a post about how some woman tried helping and picked out non-organic apples and nearly poisoned her children. I'm a little fuzzy on the overall message of this post but it's probably about being grateful for screaming kids? I don't know.

Abbie being Abbie, takes the opportunity to dig at Shiloh yet again. It's really sad that she taught all the kids to employ sarcasm towards him. Imagine being Shiloh, you're small and frustrated and screaming. Instead of Abbie helping him navigate, she makes a smartass remark and all the other kids stand around and laugh. I hate this so much. Poor baby. 

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If I could pull off kidnapping Shiloh to raise in our home, I would. I'm so far from a perfect mom, but DAMN, I'd at least love this kid and not mock him.

[FunFunFundie]

I don't normally comment, but JAYSUS that is cruel. "Shiloh is a blessing from the lord" to mean "I hate this kid"? I mean, she says she means "Shiloh is being a toot" but the way sarcasm works is that you say something that is inherently not true. Maybe a 3-year-old doesn't understand that - maybe he does. God.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I've been on ignore with Abbie. Today she's bitching about people who don't help out when parents have unruly kids at the grocery store. Can you imagine trying to bag apples for Abbie while one of her kids scream? She would probably make a post about how some woman tried helping and picked out non-organic apples and nearly poisoned her children. I'm a little fuzzy on the overall message of this post but it's probably about being grateful for screaming kids? I don't know.

Abbie being Abbie, takes the opportunity to dig at Shiloh yet again. It's really sad that she taught all the kids to employ sarcasm towards him. Imagine being Shiloh, you're small and frustrated and screaming. Instead of Abbie helping him navigate, she makes a smartass remark and all the other kids stand around and laugh. I hate this so much. Poor baby. 

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WTF? is this post from Abbie. I agree with Supernova why would anyone put food in a stranger's cart? You have no idea what the stranger wants/needs/expects/demands, etc.? 

As for the Shiloh drama, it's so sad. It's clear she's not only laughing at him, but also saying he's being a brat without saying it.  

Also I'm not sure what "is a toot" means? I thought in the south "toot" was slang for a fart. Is she saying he's a fart? Or by toot does she mean tool?

Poor Shiloh! He is a gift from God and hopefully someday he finds people who actually appreciate him.

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I can tell you right now, if my husband, my older son, and I all said something sarcastic about my youngest while he was having one of his millions of meltdowns during age 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, it would have made things intensely worse. When younger son was having a bad day, the worst thing you could do is comment on his behavior and laugh. He always took it as everyone was making fun of him. It got him even madder and the tantrum would last much longer. I’m betting Braggie made Shiloh’s meltdowns much worse by being an asshole and laughing with her kids at him. Yes, she was laughing at him because I guarantee Shiloh took it as them laughing at him. She is a heinous mother. I hope Shiloh leaves the minute he turns 18 and never looks back.  

Oh I agree. It's bad enough when siblings tease a sensitive child but it's beyond awful to have a parent being the instigator. Moms and dads should be the safe people, the comforters, the ones to correct the other children's cruelty!! Maybe the sarcasm doesn't effect the other children but it obviously has an effect on Shiloh. This is the problem with formulaic parenting. Treating every child the same and expecting them to fall in line is incredibly lazy and detrimental to their well being. I don't care if you add in Jesus. That doesn't excuse a damn thing that Abbie does to Shiloh. 

[mhainlen]

So it's not okay for women to tell other women to cherish every moment because the time is short.  And it's not okay for other women to talk about how the early years are hard. But it is okay for Abbie to tell other women to shift their attitudes and call each moment a blessing. And it is okay for Abbie to think that a kid is hard and to discuss it endlessly.  I know the hypocrisy shouldn't surprise me with her, but it still amazes me how self righteous she is.  

[SassyPants]

Shiloh seems like a higher needs, sensitive child. Much like Alyssa and Josie Bates (née), he likely would benefit from a quieter and less chaotic home environment. Unfortunately for Shiloh, he was born to a narcissistic, egomaniac who collects children as some sort of shield of humility. I hope the years in that house fly by for poor Shiloh, what a nightmare. Abbie is another one of those who view all her children as a monolith vs as individuals. As as parent, she sucks as does Shaun. I wonder what kind of relationship they will have with most of these kids when they reach adulthood?

[Giraffe]

26 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Shiloh seems like a higher needs, sensitive child. Much like Alyssa and Josie Bates (née), he likely would benefit from a quieter and less chaotic home environment. Unfortunately for Shiloh, he was born to a narcissistic, egomaniac who collects children as some sort of shield of humility. I hope the years in that house fly by for poor Shiloh, what a nightmare. Abbie is another one of those who view all her children as a monolith vs as individuals. As as parent, she sucks as does Shaun. I wonder what kind of relationship they will have with most of these kids when they reach adulthood?

I don’t know that Shiloh’s even a highly sensitive kid. He could very well be a typical toddler but because he’s so neglected and treated with such disdain he’s simply doing anything he can to get his needs met. 

Edited March 12, 2022 by Giraffe
Removing an extra word

[Ozlsn]

I read the "Shiloh (3) was a hard toddler" and thought "was"?? He's 3, for crying out loud, still in that transitional age year to preschool child. She hated him acting normally for a supplanted 2 year old, she's scapegoated him since the twins arrived, and she'll get angry at him for not acting the age of the gap she wanted between him and the twins rather than the age he is.

I really wish he and the other kids had the opportunity to go to actual school - he might have gotten a lot more time if his older siblings were at school, and being in a group with kids away from his siblings would help a lot. 

[feministxtian]

21 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

I don’t know that Shiloh’s even a highly sensitive kid. He could very well be a typical toddler but because he’s so neglected and treated with such disdain he’s simply doing anything he can to get his needs met. 

#1 and #2 sons are right at 3 years apart in age. When #2 was a baby and I would be busy with him, #1 would take that opportunity to act up. Why? Mama was paying attention to the little, hairy, red-faced potato instead of him. There were times when #2 would have to fuss for just a minute or 2 extra so #1 could get his need met. Both #1 and #2 were "needy". They both needed attention like they needed oxygen. Come to think of it, they still do. I doubt Braggie can understand that some children just instinctually need more attention, more affection than others. Daughter was pretty much a "leave me alone" kid from early on, very independent. Sons, not so much. It can feel soul-sucking if they're both in a high-need phase at the same time, but what the hell can ya do? Just love 'em and love 'em some more. Eventually they get better at finding ways to get their attention needs met by someone/something other than mama. But, when the shit hits the fan with them, they come running back. Braggie doesn't deserve Shiloh...I bet he's a great kid who just needs more attention than Braggie is willing to give. 

[SunnySide]

4 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I've been on ignore with Abbie. Today she's bitching about people who don't help out when parents have unruly kids at the grocery store. Can you imagine trying to bag apples for Abbie while one of her kids scream? She would probably make a post about how some woman tried helping and picked out non-organic apples and nearly poisoned her children. I'm a little fuzzy on the overall message of this post but it's probably about being grateful for screaming kids? I don't know.

Abbie being Abbie, takes the opportunity to dig at Shiloh yet again. It's really sad that she taught all the kids to employ sarcasm towards him. Imagine being Shiloh, you're small and frustrated and screaming. Instead of Abbie helping him navigate, she makes a smartass remark and all the other kids stand around and laugh. I hate this so much. Poor baby. 

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I’ve never had children so maybe my opinion is way off here. But I can’t imagine what I could do to “help” a parent in the store who’s child is misbehaving, or acting up. Especially if the parent is already correcting the child as I have seen many parents do. I would feel so awkward and like I was crossing a line to ask a parent if they needed help, or to say just start bagging their groceries or picking their produce out for them while they deal with a misbehaving child. From what I’ve seen most parents can usually hold their own and do quite well managing their children. Oh, wait maybe it’s like…Braggie intentionally had more children than she could possibly handle! Unless someone is hurting their child I actually work really hard at ignoring a misbehaving child situation while in public. I feel like if the parent is trying to calm the child down and correct them in a non abusive way then why draw unnecessary attention and possibly cause the parent more stress or embarassment?

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

#1 and #2 sons are right at 3 years apart in age. When #2 was a baby and I would be busy with him, #1 would take that opportunity to act up. Why? Mama was paying attention to the little, hairy, red-faced potato instead of him. There were times when #2 would have to fuss for just a minute or 2 extra so #1 could get his need met. Both #1 and #2 were "needy". They both needed attention like they needed oxygen. Come to think of it, they still do. I doubt Braggie can understand that some children just instinctually need more attention, more affection than others. Daughter was pretty much a "leave me alone" kid from early on, very independent. Sons, not so much. It can feel soul-sucking if they're both in a high-need phase at the same time, but what the hell can ya do? Just love 'em and love 'em some more. Eventually they get better at finding ways to get their attention needs met by someone/something other than mama. But, when the shit hits the fan with them, they come running back. Braggie doesn't deserve Shiloh...I bet he's a great kid who just needs more attention than Braggie is willing to give. 

I don’t understand why none of these prolific procreators seem to understand that the day is never longer than 24 hours, and even parents need to sleep. So, accepting that fact, and applying the principles of common sense and basic math, the more kids that you have, the less individual time and attention you can give to each one d/t time constraints and the need for sleep, AND in many instances that will lead to more UNMET NEEDS and MORE TODDLER MELTDOWNS. At a certain point, the answer is to stop have kids, period. Allowing for different personality traits, the time to stop might be at a much smaller number of kids.

Abbie fancies herself superior and special, but she is neither of those things when it comes to managing a large family.

[feministxtian]

Just now, SassyPants said:

I don’t understand why none of these prolific procreators seem to understand that the day is never longer than 24 hours, and even parents need to sleep. So, accepting that fact, and applying the principles of common sense and basic math, the more kids that you have, the less individual time and attention you can give to each one d/t time constraints and the need for sleep, AND in many instances that will lead to more UNMET NEEDS and MORE TODDLER MELTDOWNS. At a certain point, the answer is to stop have kids, period. Allowing for different personality traits, the time to stop might be at a much smaller number of kids.

Abbie fancies herself superior and special, but she is neither of those things when it comes to managing a large family.

Why I stopped at 3. Actually, #3 was an oops. Not an accident and definitely not a regret, just unexpected. Wouldn't trade him for the world though, even if he is mostly responsible for all my grey hairs. He was and is the gift I didn't know I needed. However, beyond maybe 4, there is no way to attend to everyone's needs in a 24 hour day even if you cut your sleep to 6 hours. Even with my 3, as spread apart in age as they were (8 1/2 years total), it was hard. What a 2nd grader needed was not what a pre-schooler needed was not what a toddler needed. I felt like Stretch Armstrong most of those years, even when Daughter reached high school age. It didn't get "easier" until they all moved out on their own. 

The kids get cheated out of a childhood, parental attention and love when you feel the need to reproduce "just because you can". 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SunnySide said:

I’ve never had children so maybe my opinion is way off here. But I can’t imagine what I could do to “help” a parent in the store who’s child is misbehaving, or acting up. Especially if the parent is already correcting the child as I have seen many parents do. I would feel so awkward and like I was crossing a line to ask a parent if they needed help, or to say just start bagging their groceries or picking their produce out for them while they deal with a misbehaving child. From what I’ve seen most parents can usually hold their own and do quite well managing their children. Oh, wait maybe it’s like…Braggie intentionally had more children than she could possibly handle! Unless someone is hurting their child I actually work really hard at ignoring a misbehaving child situation while in public. I feel like if the parent is trying to calm the child down and correct them in a non abusive way then why draw unnecessary attention and possibly cause the parent more stress or embarassment?

Exactly. When I see other kids having tantrums in the store, I make sure not to even look mom’s way because I don’t want her to think I’m judging her. Because I’m not. All parents have been there. Even my nephew who was basically a unicorn child had a few toddler meltdowns. 

[SunnySide]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Exactly. When I see other kids having tantrums in the store, I make sure not to even look mom’s way because I don’t want her to think I’m judging her. Because I’m not. All parents have been there. Even my nephew who was basically a unicorn child had a few toddler meltdowns. 

Whenever I see a kid throw a tantrum I remind myself that at some point I acted like that too. 

[zee_four]

I just can't the way she freaking quotes herself (#misformamabook) in her self righteous rubbish I mean Instagram captions. I dont know a single legitimate author that does that. Or a not legitimate author. Or just human being. Braggy always putting the extra in extra cringe. #misformama #hardisnotthesameasbad #firstworldproblems #jesusexistssolwlytotryahatefulpriviledgedwhitewomaninTexas

Thank God Braggy came along, Jesus was just helping the poor the exiled the untouchable because he was waiting for Braggy to come along for His real purpose. :face meets hand smack:

14 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I've been on ignore with Abbie. Today she's bitching about people who don't help out when parents have unruly kids at the grocery store. Can you imagine trying to bag apples for Abbie while one of her kids scream? She would probably make a post about how some woman tried helping and picked out non-organic apples and nearly poisoned her children. I'm a little fuzzy on the overall message of this post but it's probably about being grateful for screaming kids? I don't know.

Abbie being Abbie, takes the opportunity to dig at Shiloh yet again. It's really sad that she taught all the kids to employ sarcasm towards him. Imagine being Shiloh, you're small and frustrated and screaming. Instead of Abbie helping him navigate, she makes a smartass remark and all the other kids stand around and laugh. I hate this so much. Poor baby. 

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I bet she does nothing but judge and hate real single parents and women who are overwhelmed because they need economic help, medical care and other government benefits. I bet "keep [their] legs closed" comes up a lot when dehumanizing these "mamas". But never with Braggie. She's a white conservative "Christian" so she DESERVES help when she "can't keep her legs closrd" but all us BIPOC actual single moms can go drown in a gutter according to her and her hubby I bet. But the woman who should be serving Braggie deserves no help when she goes home to her kids with her unlivable minimum wage paycheck. 

 

Everytime Braggy posts I want to punch her in the face more. I'll settle for her future where none of children want anything to do with her and neither does her husband and she is still on Instagram using appropriated "cool" slang 40 years out of date and hashtagging #hardisnotthesamethingasbad

[SassyPants]

8 hours ago, zee_four said:

 

 

 

Everytime Braggy posts I want to punch her in the face more. I'll settle for her future where none of children want anything to do with her and neither does her husband and she is still on Instagram using appropriated "cool" slang 40 years out of date and hashtagging #hardisnotthesamethingasbad

The people we discuss on FJ who bother me the absolute most are those like Abbie and JB Duggar who have attempted to school all of us with their superior values, knowledge, beliefs, tenets…and yet we have all discovered are frauds. Show me someone who might have their shit together and has some of the answers, and I’ll listen. But I am sick to death of those folks who we know to be shitty parents, people, grifters, and basically angry, ugly, opportunistic people having a platform to make easy money while shaming the rest of us!!!! 

[Hane]

Hey, FJers! [grits teeth] Repeat after me: “Abbie is a blessing from the Lord!”

[danvillebelle]

"WAS a difficult toddler?"  The poor child JUST turned 3.  

Yes, Braggie is a blessing from the lord, and so is her book. 😇

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

WAS a difficult toddler?"  The poor child JUST turned 3.  

And now she'll shame him for being too old to be acting like a toddler. I get the feeling Shiloh can never succeed with her. 

[SassyPants]

She blames Shiloh because she and Shaun fell pregnant too soon and to make matters worse, with twin boys. She takes the timing and results of the pregnancy out on Shiloh because she wasn’t ready to be pregnant, didn’t want twins and certainly did not prefer more sons.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

She blames Shiloh because she and Shaun fell pregnant too soon and to make matters worse, with twin boys. She takes the timing and results of the pregnancy out on Shiloh because she wasn’t ready to be pregnant, didn’t want twins and certainly did not prefer more sons.

And this is why I think Shiloh and the twins will become targets once the twins are very mobile and getting into everything. She will probably call them the trio of trouble or something she thinks is cutesy. 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

And this is why I think Shiloh and the twins will become targets once the twins are very mobile and getting into everything. She will probably call them the trio of trouble or something she thinks is cutesy. 

But it won’t stop her from conceiving another-

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

And this is why I think Shiloh and the twins will become targets once the twins are very mobile and getting into everything. She will probably call them the trio of trouble or something she thinks is cutesy. 

Well, I did call my boys "Damien and Lucifer, the Omen twins" for awhile. It was a joke, shared with only very close mom friends. I didn't tell THEM about it until they were much older. Then they laughed and admitted that I may have been right. Among my mom friends, we had nicknames for all our kids, I mean back in the days of the old AOL, you didn't give up much personal info. That's the group that kept me sane when my kids were small and we're still friends about 30 years later, with our own private FB page now. Come to think about it, that's the first group I run to when my life goes to shit. By now there are no secrets.

My "Damien and Lucifer" were never, ever named that in public or to their faces (until maybe their late teens, early 20's). It was a way of expressing my frustration at these 2 who were always getting into shit, fighting with each other and generally driving me nuts. Shiloh ain't got shit on what my 2 got into back in the day. But there were only 3 of them for me, not 10 and I damn sure didn't have newborns after them (I'd have ended up in a rubber room). I know now that the shit they got into and the crazy shit they did was driven by their imaginations and curiosity about how the world worked (with a big side of daredevil). I guess you could say they were into "experiential learning". Let me know when Shiloh and a selected bro or 2 decide to jump off a garage roof, tie a rope to a bannister and slide down it, see if they can jump out a bedroom window and miss the rose bushes (the house was a story and 1/2, with a partially underground lower floor so the distance was maybe 10 feet), and a variety of other dangerous and/or disgusting things. Looking back now, I have to laugh and seriously wonder how many angels were looking out for those 2. Their "major" injuries, like stitches and broken bones, happened doing fairly mundane (but stupid) things instead of the BIG stupid things.